“Todd mentioned it. He didn’t give me exact figures, but apparently Kane doesn’t work because he has to.”
Willow disagreed. However much money Kane had now, he didn’t think it was enough. Apparently privacy and a secure location didn’t come cheap.
Would he really do it, she wondered. Would he really leave everyone behind and go off by himself? The thought of it made her sad—not only because his leaving would devastate her but because she didn’t think it would make him happy. Sometime in his past he’d gotten the idea that he had to be solitary. She didn’t think that was true anymore, but she wasn’t sure she could convince him otherwise.
“He seems very responsible,” Ruth continued. “An excellent quality in a man. Although he’s a bit of a loner. You’ll have to watch that. Some men like that can be turned around, but others can’t. Be sure he’s given his heart before you risk your own.”
Excellent advice, Willow thought. Unfortunately it was about a month too late. Kane pretty much had possession of her heart from the moment he’d fussed over her ankle, taken in Jasmine and her kittens, then freaked when Jasmine went off for a little alone time.
He might have the rest of the world fooled into thinking he was a big, tough soldier, but she happened to know that inside he was warm and caring. He was also the man she loved.
Julie leaned toward her grandmother. “This would be you staying out of things?” she asked with a smile.
“Oh, no. I’m meddling, aren’t I?” Ruth sighed. “Old habits and all that. But I do have one more thing before I swear off the habit forever.”
Julie laughed. “Of course you do. What is it?”
Ruth turned to Marina. “I would so like for you to meet Todd. I know you have every reason to be apprehensive and so I’ll even withdraw the offer of money, if you’d like. Please?”
Marina looked at her sisters, then back at Ruth. “Okay, I’ll meet him, but only if the money offer stays on the table. The promise of riches makes it all the more interesting.”
“You sure about that?” Julie asked. “What if you like him? The money will get in the way. Trust me, it’s a complication.”
“Oh, please. No offense, Grand, but what are the odds of that happening? I doubt he’s my type. So I’ll meet him, just to make you happy, but don’t have any expectations.”
“You’re tempting fate,” Willow murmured.
“I’ll risk it,” Marina said. “What chance is there that Todd Aston the Third is the one for me?”
“Unfortunately she’s right,” Ruth said. “But I’ll still hold on to my grandmother dreams. It’s all about family, isn’t it? Oh, speaking of family, I’ll be meeting your father next weekend and I’m looking forward to that.”
“Me, too,” Marina said.
Julie only looked annoyed, while Willow wondered what her father would have to say to her this time.
Later, when lunch was over, the sisters left. When they’d reached their cars, Marina turned to Julie.
“Are you really considering having your wedding here?” she asked.
Julie grinned. “Sure. Ryan loves Ruth, so he’d be happy. I’m sure Ruth knows the best party planners around, so that will make things easier. I’m not letting her pay for everything, but other than that, I think it’s a great idea. You don’t approve?”
“I like the idea,” Marina admitted. “The house is gorgeous. I think it’s a beautiful venue and if it makes Grand happy, then hey. Why not?”
“Willow?” Julie asked.
“I like the idea, too. Imagine how great the pictures would be. And it is a chance to bond with Ruth. You two got off to a rocky start.”
“All forgiven,” Julie said.
“Speaking of forgiven,” Marina murmured. “Are you okay? About Dad coming home, I mean.”
Julie shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess. I’ve been talking to Ryan a lot and that’s helped. Mom loves him. I may not understand her feelings, but I want to respect them. He’s her husband and our father and in his own useless, selfish, twisted way, a part of the family.”
Marina grinned. “As long as you’re respecting everyone’s feelings.”
Julie sucked in a deep breath. “I’m doing my best to keep an open mind, okay? That’s as good as it’s going to get. In my heart, I’m still angry with him for what he’s done to Mom for the past twenty years and I’m furious with her for putting up with it. But it’s her decision. Not mine. I love her and I acknowledge that he’s my father. That is my peak maturity experience for the day. Anyone expecting more is going to be disappointed.”
“You’ll get there,” Marina said. “Personally I can’t wait to see him.”
“You always were his favorite,” Julie said easily.
“Not his favorite, but we get along. I agree that life would have been better if he’d been the kind of guy to stick around, but he’s not. So I accept him for what he is and enjoy the time he’s around.”
“You’re a better person than I’ll ever be,” Julie said with a sigh. “I have to run. I’m meeting Ryan.” She waved and walked to her car.
Marina turned to Willow. “I suppose you want to get back to Kane?”
“Pretty much.”
“Wow—both my sisters seriously involved. I suppose that means I need to find myself a guy.”
“You have Todd.”
Marina laughed. “Right. All I can think is that our lone date will be a night I’ll never get back.” She hugged Willow. “See you at Mom’s.”
“I’ll be there.”
Marina left.
Willow climbed into her car and started the engine. Now that she was alone, she could stop pretending she was excited about her father’s return. Her guilty secret had always been that she dreaded his visits. It never mattered what she did or how she tried, he never saw her as anything but a failure.
As a child, she’d tried desperately to make her father proud of her. Tried and failed countless times. A few years ago, she’d stopped trying. But that didn’t mean the hurt had gone away.
Ten
W illow shifted in the passenger seat of Kane’s Mercedes. Normally the yummy smell of a leather interior and a dashboard that looked more like a cockpit would have distracted her. If nothing else, she would have tried to justify how the smell of leather could be yummy when she didn’t eat meat, except on very special occasions when it didn’t count.
But this afternoon, she couldn’t seem to think about any of that. Instead she fought against the rising need to throw up and wondered if the knot of dread in her stomach would ever go away.
“You’re quiet,” Kane said as he pulled into the left turn lane and glanced at her. “I’ve learned that’s not always a good thing.”
“I’m fine. Okay, not fine, but not awful. Semiawful, maybe. This is all a mistake. Why are we doing this? We shouldn’t be doing this. I should have said no or that we were busy or at least that you were busy. Asking you along was a mistake.”
She bit her lip and sighed. “I don’t mean that in a bad way.”
“Oh, no. I’m tingling from the thrill of the compliment.”
That made her smile. “You’re not a tingle kind of guy.”
“You can’t be sure about that.”
“If I had a lot of money, I’d bet it all. Anyway, the not inviting you was about me. I’m nervous. Besides, you don’t do family stuff. Why did you say yes?”
He made the turn. “Because you asked and it seemed important to you.”
Under other circumstances his words would have thrilled her. She would have felt an honest-to-goodness flutter right in the center of her chest. But not today. The dread was too big and growing and this was all going to be a disaster.
“It’s my dad,” she admitted. “He’s back and while that’s a good thing, it’s also…confusing.”
“Parents can be that way.”
“Do you remember yours?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Not my dad. I never knew him. I’m not sure my mom knew who he was. I have a
few fuzzy memories of her. She was strung out most of the time, or gone. She died when I was eight.”
He spoke the words easily, as if he’d long made peace with them. But how was that possible?
“Where was Social Services in all this?” she asked. “Why didn’t they come get you?”
“I don’t think they knew about me. When my mom died, I went out on the streets. I’d been living there most of the time anyway. I was already like a mascot to a few gang members. It wasn’t a big step to be accepted by all of them. Besides, I made myself useful. I ran errands—delivering drugs, picking up money.”
He might as well be talking about life on Saturn. “You didn’t go to school?”
“Not after junior high.”
“But you’re obviously educated.”
“Got my GED while in the army. When I got into basic training, I realized I knew nothing about anything. I started reading in my spare time. Everything is self-taught.”
Which was incredible, she thought. He was a sophisticated, dangerous man of the world who’d started with nothing.
Okay—now her pity party had just taken a turn for the worse. Before she’d been worried about what would happen with her father—what he would say in front of Kane. Now Kane was even more amazing and her humiliation would be greater.
She wanted to tell him about her fears and have him put his arms around her and say it didn’t matter. Except she wasn’t sure he would. In truth, what she really wanted was for him to say he loved her and, to quote Marina, what were the odds of that happening?
But he liked her. He liked her and he was dating her and Kane didn’t date, so that was something. She would hang on to that and pray for a miracle. That she could go one afternoon with her father and not have him say anything hideous.
She felt her eyes burning. As tears were the last thing she wanted to deal with, she drew in a deep breath and changed the subject.
“The kittens are really growing,” she said. “They’ll need a bigger box.”
“I’ll get one this week.”
She forced herself to think about Jasmine and her beautiful kittens and how precious they all were. That was safe. Kittens and chocolate and how Kane touched her in the night.
The knot loosened a little…right until they pulled up in front of her mother’s house.
“We’re here,” she said, hoping she sounded more excited than she felt.
They walked inside. Everyone else was already there and called out greetings. Her father stood in the center of the group, as always.
He looked the same, Willow thought. Still handsome and blond, with a deep tan and blue eyes that were permanently crinkled in good humor.
“You must be Kane,” Jack Nelson said with a grin. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
The two men shook hands.
“How’s my Willow?” Jack asked.
“I’m good, Daddy.” She stepped into his embrace.
His arms were familiar, as was the uneasy combination of longing and apprehension. She knew the hits were coming. It was just a matter of when and where.
She stepped back, but her father kept his arm around her shoulder.
“This is how it should be,” he said. “Back with all my girls.”
Willow stepped free of his embrace and walked over to her mother.
“How are you doing?” she asked, although she could see the happiness on her mother’s face.
“I’m wonderful. It’s so good to have him home.”
Willow nodded. She noticed Kane talking to Ryan. Julie stood next to her fiancé, holding on to his hand as if she would never let go. Families were complicated.
“Now let me see if I have this straight,” Jack said to Kane. “You work for Ryan here.”
Kane nodded. “I run security for the various companies Ryan and Todd are funding.”
“Ryan says you’re the best in the business.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“Impressive.” Jack slapped Kane on the back. “Good. Good. At least you’re not like Willow’s other losers.”
“Dad,” Marina said quickly, taking her father’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go into the family room. UCLA is playing University of Washington. We can watch our guys kick their Seattle butts.”
Willow appreciated the save, but wished it hadn’t been necessary. She felt heat on her cheeks and the knot in her stomach had turned to dread.
Her father allowed himself to be turned away. But at the step down to the family room, he glanced back at Kane.
“I’m glad Willow’s moving up. I’ve always worried about her. She’s never been as smart or pretty as her sisters. I wondered who would want her. It’s good to know I was wrong.”
Willow felt as if she’d been hit with an emotional baseball bat. Her face flamed with embarrassment.
Not knowing what else to do, she fled into the kitchen where she picked up a knife and began cutting bread into slices. As she didn’t know what they were having or what her mother wanted the bread for, she could really be messing up the recipe. But she had to be doing something. The bread got all blurry and she couldn’t see anything. She tossed the knife down and gave in to the tears.
Then her sisters were there.
“He’s such a jerk,” Julie muttered as she hugged Willow. “This is only one of the reasons I hate him.”
“He’s not the most sensitive man,” Marina said as she hugged them both. “Willow, I’m so sorry.”
Willow let their love surround her. It didn’t heal the wound, but it eased a little of the pain. Still, the memory of the humiliation clawed at her. What was Kane thinking?
“I should never have brought him,” she whispered. “I can’t do this.”
Instead of answering, her sisters moved away. For a second, she was alone, then strong arms encircled her.
She didn’t have to open her eyes to recognize the man. Indecision tore at her. While she needed to be with him, she was too embarrassed to want to face him.
“I’m sorry,” she said, forcing herself to look into his eyes.
But instead of censure, she saw something that looked very much like affection.
“You can’t pick your parents.”
“I know. He’s always been like that. Do you want to leave? I could get a ride home with Marina.”
He brushed away her tears, then bent down and kissed her. Really kissed her. There was heat and need and plenty of tongue. When they resurfaced, her head was fuzzy and it had nothing to do with feeling bad.
“I want you,” he breathed. “I want you naked. I want to make love with you until we’re both exhausted. Then I want to talk to you and be with you. Just you, Willow. You know how I feel about relationships, yet here I am. With you. I’ve known a lot of women and you are unique in more ways than I can count. You are passionate and beautiful and stubborn and giving and you delight me.”
The knot disappeared. Her tears dried up and she wanted to crawl inside Kane and live there forever.
She loved him. The words hovered on her tongue, then she swallowed them. Kane was many things, but open to being loved wasn’t one of them. It didn’t seem fair to repay his kindness with a statement that would terrify him.
But soon, she thought. Soon.
Kane watched the dynamics of the Nelson family and felt more uncomfortable by the second. If intimacy was a dance, then everyone in this house had forgotten the steps. Julie clung to Ryan as if he were the only point of safety. Willow put on a brave face, but he saw the pain behind her big eyes and it made him want to hit something…or someone. Marina seemed the only one able to hang out with her father and be relaxed, while Naomi, the girls’ mother, fluttered from place to place in an attempt to make peace.
He’d already berated himself for ever agreeing to join Willow at her less than happy family reunion. He knew better, yet she’d asked and he’d said yes. Because he found it difficult to deny her anything.
He was losing it, he thought. He had it bad for a woma
n and he knew the trouble that led to. Getting involved could get a man dead.
“Kane!” Jack said jovially. “Come join me in my study.”
Kane would rather have been air-dropped into a piranha-filled river, but he nodded and followed the other man through the family room and into a bookcase-lined study. Jack shut the door behind him.
“I love all the women in my life, but sometimes a man needs to get away.” Jack grinned. “You know what I mean?”
Kane took one of the leather chairs as his host poured them each a Scotch.
Jack stretched out in the recliner opposite Kane’s and raised his glass. “To my ladies. May they always welcome me home.”
Kane didn’t acknowledge the toast. What was the point of making trouble? The visit would end and then he and Willow would leave.
Jack sighed. “Do I have a great life, or what? I love this house. I’m always happy to get back here. Naomi’s a terrific woman. So warm and welcoming. She understands me. The patience of a saint, that woman. And the girls are special. I’m willing to admit I would have liked a son, of course. What man wouldn’t, but maybe it’s better this way.”
Kane sipped the Scotch. It was single malt, eighteen years old. He knew what the bottle had cost and doubted it had fit comfortably in Naomi’s food budget.
“It is better,” Kane said casually. “The way you take off and abandon your family every time you get an itch, there could be trouble. A son would grow up and beat the crap out of you.”
Jack stared at him. “It’s not like that.”
“It’s exactly like that.”
Jack shrugged. “Tell me about your job. Do you like working for Ryan? Weren’t you in the military before? Isn’t this a little boring for you?”
“I was in Special Forces,” Kane said after he put his glass on the small table beside his chair. “Nearly nine years. I specialized in the undetected kill. Get in, get the job done, get out before anyone knows you’re there. I was good at it, too.”
Jack swallowed. “Excellent. Excellent.”
“From there I went into private security. That’s the polite word for it. Basically, I was a mercenary for hire. I’ve survived the most dangerous places in the world. There’s a lot of money in that kind of work.”
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