But he couldn’t. She was gone. Just like he wanted.
He returned to the living room and waited for the peace that silence always brought. But tonight there was only the restless need to keep moving. He changed into workout clothes and decided to get in another hour at the gym. Maybe then he would sleep.
It was nearly midnight when he finally crawled into bed. He was exhausted and yet he couldn’t close his eyes. The silence was too loud.
Finally he got up and retrieved the shirt she’d used from the back of the bathroom door, then laid it out next to him. Stupid, he thought. No, beyond stupid. Pathetic.
And then he got it. He missed her. He, who had always prided himself on never missing anyone, missed her more than he could say.
Twelve
K ane gathered his keys and briefcase, then walked to his front door. But before he could open it, someone knocked.
For a second he did nothing. He stood on the tile and listened to the sound of his heart beating. He knew what he wanted, what he hoped, what he could never allow. Willow. But when he pulled open the door, Todd stood there.
“I’m glad I caught you,” his boss said. “My car’s acting up. Can I get a ride into the office with you? The dealer’s going to come pick up my car and they’ll deliver a loaner later this morning.”
The disappointment was as real and fast as a gunshot. He wanted to howl to the heavens, to demand it be her. But after what he’d said, why would she bother?
“No problem,” he told Todd. “I was on my way out.”
“Good. I don’t see Willow’s car. Has she already left?”
“She’s gone. We’re not seeing each other anymore.”
Todd raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know. I thought you two were getting along. That everything was great.”
Kane hit the button to unlock his car, then stowed his briefcase in the backseat.
“I won’t ask what happened.” Todd climbed into the passenger seat. “God knows I’m avoiding women these days. Ruth has been on me until I finally agreed to a date with Marina. What the hell was I thinking?”
Kane didn’t have an answer and he didn’t want to talk about Marina. She reminded him of Willow and thinking about Willow made him hurt in ways he’d never imagined possible.
She’d changed him, he thought grimly. Silence and solitude had always been his refuge. He’d needed to be alone. Now the evenings and even his life stretched out endlessly before him. It was blank and empty and cold.
But how to change that? Give in? Care? And then what, he asked himself as he turned right. If he let her get close, let her get inside, where would he have to go? How could he protect himself?
“What’s wrong with your car?” he asked as a way to distract himself and Todd. Discussing anything was preferable to talking about any of the Nelson sisters.
“Not sure. It just wouldn’t start. It’s only a few months old. Strange.”
Something clicked in the back of Kane’s mind. “Did it make a noise at all?”
“Sort of a raspy growl. It turned over a couple of times and went dead.”
“You haven’t pissed anyone off lately, have you?”
Todd looked at him. “You think it’s more than just a car not starting?”
“I don’t know. Do you have the dealership’s number with you?” Kane asked.
“Sure.”
“Call them and tell them not to bother picking up the car. That you’ll have it dropped off later. I’ll get a guy I know to go by and look it over first. Just in case.”
Todd swore. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Better to be safe than—”
Something big and fast moving rammed into them from the side, pushing them into oncoming traffic on the busy street. Kane’s car skidded, but he easily kept control. Even as he steered back into the correct lane and avoided an accident, he scanned for the attacker while pulling his gun out of its holster.
He saw it. A silver import. It headed for them again. The sun worked against him, keeping him from seeing the driver.
“Brace yourself,” he told Todd, then braked suddenly.
Their attacker shot past them. Kane took aim but before he could pull the trigger, he felt something. A flash of information he couldn’t process, a hunch, whatever, followed by the clear and unwelcome realization that Willow wouldn’t want him to kill anyone.
He swore, took aim again, only to watch the car crash into light pole and come to a stop.
He drove to the side of the road and called 911. He was out of the car and heading for the driver as the operator picked up. He gave the location of the accident and described what happened automatically, all the while wondering what else she’d changed inside of him and how he would ever find his way back to who he had been.
Kane finished with the police a little after ten-thirty that morning. His car would need some serious body work but it was still drivable. He was about to climb inside when a paramedic stopped him.
“Do we need to look at you?” he asked Kane.
“I’m good. Had my seat belt on.”
“So did the kid. Otherwise he’d be dead now.”
Kane eyed the totaled wreck being pulled onto a flatbed tow truck. “The police said he is a teenager. That he passed out.”
The paramedic nodded. “He is seventeen, a senior in high school. According to his mom, he’s a diabetic. Apparently he screwed up his injection this morning and went into insulin shock. When he rammed into you, he was so out of it, I doubt he knew he was driving. You handled the situation like a pro. If you’d let him hit you again, I don’t think he would have survived the impact.”
The paramedic left.
Kane stood by his car and sucked in a breath. A seventeen-year-old boy. What if he’d shot the kid? Under the circumstances, he wouldn’t have been charged. The concealed weapon was legal and Kane was a trained professional. But that would have been cold comfort to the kid’s family. And to himself.
Six months ago, he would have fired without a second thought. Today he hadn’t been able to. And he knew why.
That night Kane sat alone in the dark and got drunk.
He didn’t usually drink to excess, but after today, he figured he’d earned it. Maybe with enough liquor in his body, he could finally forget what he’d almost done that morning. Maybe he could forget about Willow, about how much he missed her.
Maybe. But he had his doubts.
Willow looked at her boss. “Beverly, it’s only been a month.”
“I know.” Beverly grinned at her. “You should just nod and say thank you.”
“Thank you,” Willow said and meant it. She’d just gotten a raise and it was a big one.
“You’re a find,” the other woman told her. “You’re a natural with both the plants and the customers. That’s rare. Usually it’s one or the other. With you to help me, I can expand the way I’ve always wanted to. You’re organized and creative and easy to work with. I don’t want anyone to steal you away.”
The compliments were flowing so fast, Willow could barely absorb them all. Still, she liked the feeling of pride that welled up inside of her.
“I don’t want to be stolen,” she admitted. “I love working here. Thanks for the raise.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m going to get back to the exotics.”
“Great. Do whatever you’ve been doing. They’ve never looked better.”
Willow waved and walked to the rear of the nursery. She felt good—better than good. If not for the giant hole where her heart used to be, she’d be positively floating.
An hour later, she was elbow deep in soil and nutrients for the growth mixture she’d started experimenting with.
“Hello, Willow.”
The low male voice could have caused a shiver in her belly, except it wasn’t one she recognized. She turned and saw a tall, handsome, well-dressed man standing inside the greenhouse tent.
Hmm—dark hair, dark eyes and a sli
ghtly more than passing resemblance to Julie’s fiancé, Ryan.
She sat back on her heels. “Let me guess,” she said. “The infamous Todd Aston the Third.”
“We meet at last. I understand you want to give me a piece of your mind.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“No, but I’ll listen if it will make you feel better.”
“It won’t.” Maybe at one time she’d wanted to yell at Todd, but not anymore. She had bigger worries sucking at her energy. “Julie and Ryan are getting married. That’s what’s important to me.”
“Me, too.”
She stared at him.
“Don’t look surprised,” he told her. “Ryan and I have been friends all our lives. I care about him. I want whatever makes him happy and that’s Julie.”
“Cheap talk.”
He gave her a slight smile. “We’ll have this conversation again in ten years and then you’ll have to believe me.”
Ten years? Right. Todd and Ryan were cousins. So when Ryan became a part of the family, Todd was going to be tagging along. Did that mean there would be shared functions? Would she run into Kane at one of them?
The thought was both thrilling and exquisitely painful. To see him but not be with him would be torture. Yet the thought of never seeing him again was worse.
“Are you doing all right?” Todd asked. “I know about the breakup.”
Was that the reason for his unexpected visit? Did Kane want an update? Somehow she doubted that. “I’m getting by.”
“Kane isn’t. He’s in pretty bad shape.”
Her first instinct was to run to him and try to make things better. But he’d made it clear he didn’t want her help or even her.
She stood and brushed off her jeans. “I’m sorry to hear that, but it’s not my business.”
“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I’ve known Kane for a few years now. He’s a great guy. He’s careful about who he gets involved with.” Todd frowned. “You’re the first girlfriend I can remember in his life. So maybe you could cut him a break and give him a second chance.”
She stared at Todd. “You think I ended things?”
“Didn’t you? The way he’s been acting, I figured…”
“Sorry, no. He left me. He made it incredibly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. We didn’t have a fight, we didn’t disagree, he simply decided it was over.”
Saying the words made her ache inside, but there was no point in hiding from the truth.
Todd shifted awkwardly. “I didn’t know.”
“Now you do.” She faced him. “I love Kane. I told him and I think he couldn’t handle it. I wish things were different, that he were different, but they are what they are. He doesn’t need a second chance with me. He needs to figure out whether he’s interested in a first one.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ll survive. I come from a long line of strong women.” She thought about her family. “Strong women who sometimes make foolish choices when it comes to men.”
“If there’s anything I can do…”
“There isn’t, but thanks.” She put her hands on her hips. “Wait a minute. You came here to make things right with me and Kane—why would you bother?”
“I told you. I wanted to help my friend.”
“So you’re not totally evil?”
“Is that a question and if so, do you expect me to answer it?”
“I guess not. But you surprise me. You were so icky about Julie and Ryan.”
“I was not icky and I thought Julie was in it for the money.”
“She would never do that.”
“I know that now.”
“You should have given her the benefit of the doubt. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Not if you have my past.”
“Oh, I see. So you’re going to punish every woman you meet because you had the poor judgment to pick badly in the past. That’s something to look forward to. I’ll be sure to tell Marina.”
Todd looked both pained and amused by her comments. “You know about our date.”
“Oh, yeah. We’re all counting the hours.”
One corner of his mouth twitched. “Is she more like you or more like Julie?”
“You’ll have to figure that out for yourself. But I will tell you that she’s incredibly smart, so don’t try any of your smarmy crap on her.”
“Smarmy crap?” He grinned. “I’ll remember that. Leave the smarmy crap at home.”
She hated that he was amused. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” His humor faded. “It was delightful to meet you, Willow. I’m sorry Kane was moronic enough to let you go. I think you would have been good for him.”
She nodded, mostly because her eyes had started burning and she knew where that road led.
She maintained control until Todd had left, then she let the tears fall. She wanted to believe that his visit meant something, but how could it? Kane hadn’t sent him. She would bet he didn’t even know about Todd stopping by.
Todd had said Kane was in bad shape. Did the fact that he was hurting mean anything? Would he want to fix the problem or simply muscle through it?
Despite everything, she wanted to go to him and hold him until he felt better. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t force the man to love her and she was no longer interested in someone who only saw her as a convenience. She’d thought she meant more, but she’d been wrong.
That night Willow curled up in a corner of her sofa and tried to get interested in the movie she’d rented. It was a comedy and it seemed to be pretty funny, but none of the jokes were making her laugh. Maybe because she hurt too much inside.
She reached for the remote control, thinking she would just go to bed and try the movie another time, when she heard an odd noise outside. It sounded like scratching. Or whining. Or both.
She listened and heard the sound again.
She crossed to her front door and pulled it open. A black, fluffy, furry, adorable puppy stared up at her, then yipped.
Delighted, she dropped to her knees. The puppy plunged into her arms and began licking her face.
“Who are you?” she asked as she laughed and tried to hold on to the wiggling buddle of kisses. “Where did you come from? Are you lost?”
“He’s not the one who’s lost,” Kane said, stepping out of the shadows.
Her heart froze. She actually felt it stop midbeat. Her breath caught in her throat and she momentarily lost her hold on the puppy who used her inattention to lunge forward and knock her onto her back.
“Okay, that’s enough.” Kane stepped forward and grabbed the puppy under one arm. He used his free hand to pull her to her feet. “He gets kind of rowdy.”
“I can see that.”
She didn’t know what to think, what to feel. “Why are you here?”
“Can we come in? He should be okay. He just had his way with a couple of your rosebushes out front, so I think he’s safe on carpet for a few minutes.”
The only man she’d ever loved, the man who had so clearly rejected her, was talking about whether or not a puppy would pee on her rug?
She stepped back and let them both in. Kane set down the puppy, who ran to her and began licking her bare feet.
She dropped to her knees and gathered the puppy close. “Does he have a name?” she asked because talking about the dog was a whole lot safer than talking about anything else.
She wanted to believe that Kane’s presence here meant something, but she wasn’t sure. And she hurt too much to hope.
“Not yet. I thought you’d want to name him.” Kane crouched next to her. “He’s yours. I bought him for you. But he lives with me, so if you want him, you’re going to have to come back to me.”
She swallowed. Okay, sure, now there was hope, but there was also fear and a broken heart. “You want me back?”
“Want?” He shook his head. “Want is such a small word, Willow. I thought I knew what I wa
nted. Solitude. My peaceful world. I had it all planned out. I was careful—I never got involved. I knew what caring meant and I wasn’t going to be a sucker twice. No one got in, ever. Until you.”
The hope got a little bigger and brighter. Her breathing quickened.
“I thought I wanted to live on an island somewhere, by myself. I thought I wanted what I had. I did—until I met you. Everything changed after that. Now I want noise and confusion and conversation and laughter. I want candles and plants and food and your mess everywhere.”
“I’m not that messy.”
He smiled, then reached out and stroked her cheek. The puppy licked them both. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said and I’m sorry for how I hurt you. The pain in your eyes, pain that I put there, haunts me. I miss you, Willow. I don’t just want you. I ache for you. I need you with a desperation that leaves me weak. You made me into a man I never thought I could be. You have changed me as fundamentally as a man can change. It took me awhile to figure all that out. I’ve never been in love before, so I didn’t recognize the signs.”
Love? Love!
She released the puppy and reached for Kane. “So you’re saying…”
“I love you.” He gathered her close and held on tight. “I love you. For always. Through sickness and in health and through babies and houses and whatever else happens. If you can forgive me. If you still love me.”
She pulled back and stared at him. “What? Because you thought I might just fall out of love with you?”
She saw the fear in his eyes and knew he’d been afraid of just that. “I hurt you,” he said. “I was cruel. I can’t excuse what I did. I can only promise I’ll never do it again.”
He was not a man who gave his word lightly. She trusted him to love her for always, just as she trusted him to be there for her and their children and pets and whatever else might enter their lives.
“I do love you,” she said.
“Will you marry me?”
She smiled. “Yes. Do we get to keep Jasmine?”
He grinned. “Of course.”
“And at least one of the kittens?”
He sighed. “It’s your life, too. You get to decide.”
The Unexpected Millionaire Page 13
