“Me too, buddy.”
“I told Vera I would come by Sunday and clean up around her garden. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll bike over.” Evan turned on his iPod and pressed an earbud into his ear.
Caden touched his arm, and when Evan pulled out the earbud, he said, “I’m proud of you, Ev. No one forced you to apologize or offer to help Vera. That says a lot about the person you are.” He was thankful that both Jamie and Vera had accepted Evan’s apology. Evan had told them everything, just as he’d told Caden and Chief Basset. Vera was very gracious with him, and although Caden still felt the hint of a fissure between Jamie and Evan, Jamie had said he had forgiven Evan, and Caden could tell that he was working on letting it go. He knew it had to be difficult. Hell, it was difficult for Caden at first, too, and Caden was his father. But love heals, and he knew their friendship would, too.
Evan shrugged. “I guess.”
“And I think telling TGG about what happened was the smart thing to do. It’s a small enough town that people will hear about what went down, and this way it’s not a skeleton in your closet.” They’d just come from TGG, where Evan was accepted as an apprentice for five hours each week, even after his confession. It was a start, and it was something that Evan was excited about and proud of.
“I know, Dad. I get it.” He pushed the earbuds back in and looked out the window, leaving Caden to indulge in his painful thoughts until he felt as if he were drowning.
Two hours later, they pulled up in front of Caden’s parents’ house. The one-story rambler was nestled between two similar homes on a quiet residential street. He climbed from the car, remembering the night he’d brought Evan home for the first time. He remembered his mother’s hand covering her mouth, her eyes filled with tears, as she reached for the sleeping baby. Now, as he walked up the front stoop with Evan beside him, he remembered how difficult it had been to hand him over—even to his own mother. In those few short hours between Caty placing Evan in his hands and Caden arriving at his parents’ home, Evan had already become his world.
“Leave your skateboard on the porch,” Caden said out of habit before they walked inside.
In a few short years, Evan would be off to college, and before he and Bella broke up, Caden had allowed himself to think of a future with her. He’d imagined lazy weekend mornings in bed and evening walks holding hands. He’d pictured them visiting Evan in college the way his parents had visited him, and one day, being the grandparents waiting on the stoop for Evan and—he hoped—his wife to hand them their first grandchild. And now sadness burrowed deep inside him.
“Hey there, bucko.” Caden’s father, Steven, was a burly man with thick arms and a belly that could use a little less of Caden’s mother’s home cooking. Steven embraced Evan and smiled over his shoulder at Caden. Caden had called his father Wednesday and filled him in on everything that had happened.
“Hi, Grandpa.” Evan pulled out of his grandfather’s arms, but before he could escape to follow the aroma of fresh-baked bread toward the kitchen, Steven ruffled his hair. Evan reached up to do the same to him and laughed when his grandfather playfully swatted his hand.
“Go say hi to Grandma.” His father held Caden’s gaze for a beat before embracing him.
Caden closed his eyes and reveled in the comfort of his father’s arms. He’d always been Caden’s rock, his sounding board.
“He’s giving you a run for your money, isn’t he?” Steven searched his son’s eyes and furrowed his brow. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m good, Pop,” he lied.
Steven slung an arm around his shoulder and guided him toward the kitchen. “I’m not sure I’m buying that, but come say hello to your mother.”
What his father really meant was, Let’s see if your mother believes you. Caden felt as transparent as Saran Wrap.
They found his mother pulling a hot loaf of bread from the oven. She smiled as they entered the cozy kitchen. Amber Grant was tall and thin, with auburn hair and hazel eyes that could stop a clock. Baking was a weekly ritual, and because of that, the house always smelled warm and inviting.
“Caden. You didn’t tell me that Evan grew an inch.” She set the pan on the top of the stove and took off her oven mitts. Her hazel eyes roved over Caden’s face before she patted his cheek. “You okay, honey?”
“Fine, Ma. It’s good to see you.” Caden embraced her. “Did Ev grow? I guess since I see him all the time, I didn’t notice.” Par for the course these days, but I’m working on that.
“Oh, honey.” She swatted the air. “There was one summer when you grew five inches and your father didn’t notice until I mentioned it. I think it’s a man thing. You men have busy minds or something.”
Or something.
“Dad, Austin wants to meet me by the school. Do you mind if I skateboard over?” Evan asked. “I think we’re gonna hang out with everyone for the day, but I can be back by dinner.”
“Don’t you want to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa?” Caden asked.
“Let him go, honey. We’ll catch up over dinner. Besides, I’m sure his friends are excited to see him.” His mother sliced a piece of bread and wrapped it in a napkin. “Here, Ev. Take this so you’re not hungry.”
“Thanks, Grandma. Okay, Dad?”
“Sure.” For a fleeting second, worry passed through Caden. He knew these boys, and he trusted Evan. Caden took his phone from his pocket and handed it to Evan. “Just call here if you need me. Be back by six, and behave.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “I know.”
Caden’s mother sliced the bread and brought it to the table.
“Sit down, honey. Would you like some tea?” she asked.
“Sure.” He wasn’t the least bit hungry.
His father scrubbed his face with his hand and leaned back in his chair with a loud sigh. “So, parenthood is getting dicey.” Steven had spent thirty years running the construction division of Eastern Pipeline, a company that ran underground piping for commercial buildings. He worked hours outside in the freezing cold and sweltering heat, and when Caden was growing up, he had no patience for laziness, procrastination, or disrespectful behavior. Laziness has no place in a father’s world, and one day you’ll be a father, so get off your butt and get working—on his homework, in the yard; what he was doing didn’t matter. It was the message that mattered, and not only had Caden heard it loud and clear, he’d lived by it.
“You could say dicey. I might use a different word.”
“Caden, is there anything else that’s happened since the break-in? Has Evan admitted to being involved in any of it?” His mother nibbled on a piece of bread, her thin brows knitted together.
“No. He came clean, and there haven’t been any new developments. He’s about a hundred times calmer since all this came out, and without his phone, he’s out of the loop from all that stuff. He also blocked the kids who were involved from his online activities.” Thank God.
“What do you hear about the other kids?” Steven asked.
“They admitted to what they did. All of it, and surprisingly, they didn’t try to implicate Evan. But they did admit that they thought if he helped them, I’d look the other way to protect him from getting in trouble with the law.”
His father crossed his thick arms over his chest and looked down his nose at Caden.
“Pop, I took Evan straight to the station once I heard everything he had to say. I wouldn’t have looked the other way.”
His father nodded. “Good, because kids don’t learn a damn thing if they’re not held accountable for their actions. But then again, I hope you didn’t come down on him too hard with this, because he did snitch, and that takes balls.”
“Steven,” Caden’s mother snapped.
“Sorry. That takes…Aw hell, Amber, that’s the only thing that fits.” His father covered his mother’s hand with his and squeezed.
She shook her head and slid him a loving look that Caden ha
d seen pass between them a million times. As much as it warmed him to see how much they loved each other, it made his heart ache for Bella.
They passed the afternoon with small talk. His parents brought him up to date on friends around Boston, and when his mother hadn’t asked him why he was wearing a broken heart on his sleeve, he felt like he’d dodged a bullet. He knew she’d seen right through his feigned smiles and off-the-cuff answers.
His father liked to be busy, and after they’d exhausted easy conversation, he helped his father mow and edge the yard. Neither Caden nor his father needed much conversation. After that, they ran errands, another favorite pastime of his father. They went to the hardware store, the pharmacy, and finally, the grocery store to pick up a few last-minute items for dinner.
They were heading back to the house when his father pulled over at the ballpark where Caden had played as a kid. He left the car running and sighed. A combination so familiar, it sent a cold rush of air through his chest. When Caden was young and his father wanted to talk with him about something serious, he’d pull up at the ballpark and begin with a sigh.
“What’s up, Pop?” He wasn’t a kid any longer, and the longer the day stretched on, the wider the miles felt between him and Bella, making him feel agitated on top of feeling so fucking sad that he wanted to punch a hole in something.
“Son, obviously whatever’s gotten under your skin isn’t just Evan, because if it was, you never would have let him ride off to see his friends. You want to talk about it?” His father slid his warm brown eyes Caden’s way. Looking at his father’s face was like looking in the reflection of a time machine. They had the same angular nose, the same thin brows and cleft chin, and he knew that in twenty years, Evan would be thinking the same thing about him.
“Not really.” His father couldn’t fix his relationship with Bella. Nothing could, because he’d done the right thing for Evan, no matter how difficult it was for him.
“Fair enough. How about you give me a glimpse into what’s going on anyway, or I’ll have to deal with your mother hounding me until the next time you drag your ass out here. You look about as distraught as you did when you lost George. I know you’re going through a lot with the move, a new station, and Evan, but...” He rubbed his chin.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Caden clenched his jaw against the acidic taste of the lie.
“Okay, play it your way.” He put the car in reverse. “You mother thinks this has to do with a woman, and, son, if she’s right, then good luck to you.”
Caden wanted to tell his father all about Bella, that he loved her and that he’d made a mistake by saying he needed a break, but saying the words would only make it harder to digest.
“I have a feeling I’m shit out of luck, Pop.”
His father huffed out a low laugh. “So, this is about a woman. Well, then, let me clue you in on something. I dated a few women before I married your mother, but when I met her. Pow!” He flicked his fingers forward, as if he were casting a spell out into the world. “Our eyes met and I could think of nothing but her every minute of every day afterward. Still can’t.” He shook his head and a smile spread across his face. “That’s how you know it’s real love, son. There’s no ifs ands or buts. There’s only life with her or hell without her.”
Hell. That sums it up perfectly.
His father had never led him astray, and as they drove up to the house, Caden decided to open up to him.
“Well, Pop. I’ve got Evan. I have more to think about than just how I feel about her.”
“Caden.” His father paused as he pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. He turned to face Caden with a serious look in his eyes. “You’ve done a great job of raising Evan for all these years. Everyone who knows you recognizes how much you’ve given up for him, and despite this crap of hanging with the wrong kids, he’s a damn good kid. That’s because of you, Caden. All because of you. But, son, you must know that a man who never puts his own needs first can’t be the best parent all the time.”
Caden sat up a little taller, defending the fine job he’d done of raising Evan, despite his recent trouble. “I think I am a better parent for putting his needs first.”
“You probably are a better father than you might have been if you hadn’t done that, but, son, any way you cut it, a happy man is always a better father than an unhappy man. And for the first time in years, you’re carrying around a banner with a frigging frown on it. Christ, Caden. You seem like you’ve lost George all over again, and I guess in a sense, if this woman is that important to you, then maybe you have.” His father reached across the seat and settled his hand on Caden’s shoulder. “Think about it. That’s all I’m saying, son. If I can sense the unhappiness, so can he.” He pointed to Evan riding his skateboard toward the car.
He’d been doing nothing but thinking about it since Tuesday night.
Chapter Twenty-Four
BELLA UNLOCKED THE front door of her Connecticut home and stood in the doorway. Tears threatened, as they’d done since Caden said he needed a break. She tried to convince herself that this was all fated to be. What if fate wants me to be in Connecticut? Shut up! She had to believe that fate wanted her to follow her plan. Or maybe that fate sucked ass and she just had to make sure in her own goddamn mind where she belonged. She had a plan. She might have gotten waylaid, but she was back on track now, and she intended to stay that way. Lead with my mind, not my heart.
Two more companies that had been referred to her had signed up for the work-study program, meeting her twelve-company goal for the program. She’d met with the Barnstable County school board and had miraculously been able to hold her emotions at bay long enough to get an offer for full-time employment. When she’d gone to the Cape for the summer, getting that job offer was her top priority, and she was proud to have accomplished that goal.
It had been a tough decision to leave the Cape and return to Connecticut, even for just a day or two, but she had to walk into the school again and see if she still felt the desire to leave the place she’d called home for the last five years. Even before meeting Caden, she’d been excited about starting over in her favorite place on earth. But with her emotions all over the map, she had to be one hundred percent certain that she was either accepting her old job in Connecticut or the new job in Cape Cod for the right reasons—and those right reasons had to be her own. That’s why, despite pleas from Amy and Jenna not to go, she took off that morning and drove almost four hours back to Connecticut. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d forgotten something back at the Cape. The feeling had grown heavier with each mile she drove. By the time she arrived home, she realized that the something she’d left at the Cape was Caden and Evan. The distance between them felt terminal.
The house smelled and felt different. Empty. Still. Lonely. She’d lived in the house for four years, and it had never felt lonely before. She closed the door behind her and set her keys and purse on the table in the small foyer. She’d bought the Cape Cod–style home as a foreclosure and had been pleasantly surprised that there weren’t any major underlying issues. She’d painted the interior top to bottom, which had taken weeks, but she’d enjoyed making the house her own. She’d even patched two holes in the drywall, but she’d had to hire a plumber to fix two broken pipes in the basement and replace a bathroom sink.
She meandered through the cozy kitchen, the dining room she’d never used, and the living room where she watched Justified and Grey’s Anatomy. She wondered what it would have been like to watch those shows with Caden and Evan, and a shiver ran down her spine despite the warm summer day. As she ascended the stairs, she rubbed her arms to chase away the goose bumps. There were two small bedrooms upstairs: the master bedroom and a guest bedroom. Her bedroom was similar to the bedroom at her cottage, with a pink comforter and lacy throw pillows, white sheer curtains with pleated blinds, and a charcoal-gray shag area rug over hardwood floors. She ran her finger over the top of the dresser and picked up a framed photo
of her, Jenna, Amy, Leanna, Tony, and Jamie from a few summers ago. As she stared at the photo, she couldn’t help but envision Caden and Evan in the mix. She set it back down and walked to the window. Her neighbor, Jeannie Mace, and her thirteen-year-old son were playing catch in their backyard. Her mind traveled to Caden and Evan. Her throat thickened. She drew in a jagged breath and turned away. She wanted to bury her face in her fluffy pillows until the pain of missing them subsided. The urge was so tempting that it sprouted wings and hovered around her, taunting her. Go ahead. Lay your head down and give up on your plans, your future. Wouldn’t it feel good to disappear into your broken heart?
Yeah, that was the problem. It would feel too damn good—for a few minutes. And then it would suck again. Big-time.
Bella wasn’t the kind of person to fall apart.
Then again, she’d never been in love before.
And she was damn sure that what she felt for Caden was love.
She eyed the bed. You know you want to flop onto your belly and have a good cry, the urge said as it zoomed around her head.
“Eff you,” she said to the empty room.
Bella ran down the stairs, snagged her keys and purse, and sped out of the driveway toward the school.
Her sandals clip-clopped along the linoleum floors as she hurried down the hall toward her classroom, breathing in the unique smell of high school. A different scent filled the halls during the school year than it did during the summer months. During the school year, the halls smelled of perfume, testosterone, and teenage lust, with a hint of the other scent most teenagers gave off—adolescent angst. Images of Evan flashed in Bella’s mind. She remembered the first moment she’d seen him, the evening of the beach bonfire, walking so close to Caden they could have banged shoulders and looking at his father with a mix of adoration and intrigue. She smiled at the memory of Evan and Jamie deep in conversation the night of the barbeque in the quad and the way his eyes lit up when Jamie invited him to stop by and learn about programming. Sadness pressed in on her as she recalled the way Evan had stormed out the back door of Caden’s house the night she joined them for dinner and the petrified look in his eyes when they were on the boat.
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