"We need to talk."
"On the contrary, I think you've said enough at this point.” I pivoted on my heel and walked to the chair to retrieve Lucien's robe, then walked back to the door where he still stood. I took my robe and shoved his into his hand. “Now we're even."
"Sabaan, please, will you just hear me out?"
"Why should I?"
"Because I was an asshole."
"And?"
"I was wrong."
And?"
Lucien frowned. “And ... I'm sorry."
"And?"
He seemed to put some thought behind his next answer. “And it won't happen again."
"Should have never happened in the first place,” I growled and walked back to the table where I'd been sitting. I was going to need more wine for this. “Strip and come inside. Shut the door behind you."
I retrieved my glass of wine and glanced at Lucien, who was already nearly naked except for his jeans. Jeans? Since when did he wear jeans in public?
"Wine?"
"I won't be here that long."
"Yes, you will. If you think I'm sending you out just before dawn, you're out of your fucking mind. I might be pissed at you, but I don't want you dead."
Lucien sighed and stepped inside, then closed the door behind him. “If you wouldn't mind, I would have a glass."
I grabbed another glass and filled it about half full of wine before adding my own blood to it to fill it the rest of the way. Lucien stepped up beside me and I handed him the glass. He scented it before he took a small sip.
"Thank you, Sabaan."
"Guests here may be few and far between, but I do like them to be comfortable. You're welcome to wear your robe.” I walked to one of the lounge chairs in the living area and sat, curling up against the back and pulling a blanket over myself. He slipped his robe on and retrieved his glass of wine, then just sort of stood there looking uncomfortable. “So, Master vampire ... I'm listening."
He took a sip of the wine, but seemed surprised that I'd added to it. “Ah, thank you, Sabaan. Very good."
I just stared at him.
For a master vampire, he was certainly not on his game. Maybe it was the fact that dawn was coming soon. I almost laughed. Vampires that turned into blithering idiots just before sun up. Instead, I shook my head.
"Sit, Lucien."
He came to the chaise where I was and sat on the edge. “I'm not even certain where I should begin."
"I said sit, not sit with me.” I gestured around the room. “There are plenty of chairs."
Ignoring me, he took a long, deep swig of the wine and blood, drinking it more like a shot than anything. “I saw you out there at the pool tonight, looking every bit as miserable that I felt, and it pissed me off."
"No kidding?” I rolled my eyes and nudged him with my foot. If he sat any closer, I wasn't sure I would even bother restraining myself from striking out at him. “Go on, sit somewhere else."
Lucien leaned back against the half-back of the chaise, trapping one of my legs beneath him. He looked over at me and shook his head. “And I hated you for it; hated you for not reining him in—for just letting him go and not doing a damned thing about it."
"I see."
"But at the same time ... It hurt to see you like that."
"So you used me?” I jerked my leg from beneath him and curled up even more. “Fucking used me like some goddamned donor to be cast aside when you were finished!"
"My donors aren't treated with such disregard."
"Even worse,” I snapped.
"I did not think before I acted, Sabaan."
"Then you suck as a vampire. And maybe that makes me feel just a little bit better.” I kicked out and my heel connected with his hip. He didn't even flinch, but I no longer wanted to claw his eyes out. “Not much, but a little."
"I am sorry."
"You said that already."
"I meant it.” He took another drink, and then reached up to rest his free hand on my thigh. I stared down at it, but didn't move away. The poor bastard was trying so hard to reach out. “So what are we to do about this?"
"I don't know, Lucien. You want me to rein Nikolas in, yet you seem to miss the fact that he doesn't pay attention where I'm concerned. If it doesn't involve Pe—” I broke off, not wanting to drive the proverbial stake in deeper. “His thoughts are elsewhere."
Lucien groaned and rubbed at his face tiredly. I looked up at the clock. It was after six and he needed to be somewhere a little more permanent for the day. I sat up and pushed the blanket off and Lucien looked up at me with a frown.
"Are we finished talking?"
"It'll be dawn soon and I'd hate for you to spend the day here as you are."
"I've got plenty of time.” He glanced at me nervously. “A couple of hours, at least."
"You've got to be kidding me.” Lucien shook his head and I scratched my own. “How long has this been going on?"
"A few months."
"How many is your few?"
"Five.” He downed the contents of his glass and sat up on the edge of the chaise. “Dawn takes me late and I rise early."
"I would say congratulations on the power uppage, but you don't seem any different—and you certainly don't seem happy about it."
"I do not know what to think. Nothing within me has changed. My power feels the same..."
"Have you spoken with your coven's physician? Perhaps there's something going on?"
"I have told no one.” He regarded me intently. “No one."
I wasn't sure what to say to that. That he would confide this in me after everything confused me. “You want another glass of wine?"
"No, thank you.” He might not need one, but I certainly did. As I stood, Lucien grabbed my hand, preventing me from walking off, yet not pulling me back. “Do you hate me?"
"I should, but I don't. I just feel sorry for you,” I said after a few moments. “For us both, really. We're stuck in the middle and all we can do is watch helplessly as everything we desire slips further and further away."
I drew my hand from his and went to the table to pour myself another glass of wine. But once it was full, I just stood there, shaking my head. Simon's words from before mixed with all of the sadness and I just didn't have any answers. Everything seemed so fucking lost.
Arms wrapped around my waist, startling me. I tried to shrug him off, but he just tightened his hold. I finally elbowed him in the gut and managed to push him back. “I think we've been there and done that. Not interested in going there again."
"Sabaan."
There was a desperation in his voice I never expected to hear from a vampire as powerful as Lucien.
"Tell me what you want, Lucien."
"Earlier, I think I might have had the right idea, even if I went about it all wrong."
"Definitely all wrong.” I glared at him, but my curiosity just had to be sated. “But tell me anyway."
* * * *
I sat across the table from Lucien and stared at him in disbelief. “You've got to be kidding me."
"I am deadly serious."
What he was proposing ... It both shocked and intrigued me. And I could certainly see how he might have freaked and gotten all turned around earlier in the night when he'd come to me. It had just taken him the rest of the night to figure it all out.
Which left the ball in my court.
What happened between us had been all wrong, but it hadn't been unforgivable. I'd been treated much worse by others in the past. The fact that he was here now to make things right and to propose a plan to help us both out? I'd pretty much forgiven him.
"If we do this—and I'm not saying I will—you know it's not going to go over well. In fact, it could very well lead to disaster for us both."
"It could, but I don't believe it will."
"What happens if you get what you want and I'm still left all alone? I'm sorry, but I've got to have some sort of guarantee that my life won't be totally fucked up in the end. Beside
s Nikolas, what do I have to gain?"
"Power, status; what you gain is entirely up to you."
"I'm not sure I understand.” No one offered these things to a minor incubus demon such as myself. “How?"
"Be my servant, Sabaan."
"Your whore, you mean."
"I mean no such thing."
"Is that right? You mean to tell me you want me by your side and don't expect sex and feeding to be a part of it?"
"Whether you offer these things of your own accord is up to you. I would never demand it from you. What I am proposing is something to be mutually beneficial to the both of us. You get the power and the status of being my servant, but in truth you will be nothing less than my equal."
"An equal to the great Lucien Delacroix. I didn't think such a thing was possible. Tell me: is this in public and in private?"
"You know what is required of a servant in public."
Yeah, I did. He sits by his Master and takes orders. He also holds a place of high esteem in the rest of the coven. Anyone who wants company with Lucien goes through to the servant first. A servant's word is considered the Master's word. A servant is also beside his Master at any public outing or any coven meeting. It is up to a servant to arrange for and negotiate safe travel outside of coven boundaries.
"I do."
"Do we have a deal?"
"And what of Peter? What do you think he will say of this?"
"What Peter says of this is of no consequence."
"Might try telling Peter that. He's notorious for wanting to add in his two cents,” I said. I grabbed the wine bottle only to find it empty. I held it in my hands, picking at the label with a thumb nail. “No matter what is going on behind our backs and right before our eyes—I still love that boy to pieces."
"As do I,” Lucien said with a smile. “It is because I love him that I do this. Since the club was lost, the coven has been in a state of disarray and panic. If I continue to wait for Peter to find himself, I'm afraid it will be too late and our weakness will be made public. I need someone I can trust at my side to move forward."
"And you trust me?"
Lucien nodded.
Wow.
Okay.
Hadn't expected that one. Especially since earlier in the evening he'd specifically said he didn't trust me at his back.
"Not what you said earlier."
"I ... Was not being completely honest."
"Vampires have a hard time lying,” I reminded him.
"It wasn't a lie so much as it was a shot to gauge how much it would hurt you. I do apologize for that as well."
"Oddly, it does make me feel better that you didn't really mean it.” I looked around, knowing I would miss my place if I had to leave, yet excited at the idea that I might be able to live around others. I'd been living in solitude for over a hundred years. Change was almost welcome. “Do you expect me to live under your roof?"
"I would prefer it.” Lucien reached across the table and took the bottle from me before taking my hands in his. “As my servant, you will not want for anything."
"Anything?” I couldn't help but grin. “My, that does have possibilities. But sadly, you are wrong. For the one thing I truly want is, quite possibly, out of my reach entirely."
"Not for long, Sabaan,” Lucien whispered. “When we make this final, jealousy will rear its ugly head and I believe it will be you who is seduced by the wolf."
I fucking hoped so.
"Well, why the fuck not. I've had worse jobs in my lifetime."
"I do believe this is one you might enjoy.” Lucien sat back in his chair with an evil grin. “Come here, my pretty demon."
Instead of walking to him, I dematerialized from where I sat and ended up straddling Lucien's lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, laughing. “Might want to call Hell, see if its inhabitants are in need of blankets."
"I'll put it on the list."
He gazed up at me, silent, his expression still not happy, but getting there. It seemed as if a weight had been lifted from him and I couldn't imagine how long he'd been thinking this shit up. I moved a lock of hair away from his forehead and placed a kiss to the skin that was revealed.
"There will be sex and feeding,” I whispered, my lips never leaving him. “Because that's just who I am, Lucien."
"I'm not weak.” Lucien ducked his head and leaned into my chest, arms coming around my waist to pull me closer. “Not weak."
"No, you're not.” I hugged him to me, chin resting on the top of his head. “You just have more humanity lingering than most of your kind. One thing to remember, Lucien, is that while we can offer comfort and a modicum of peace to each other, we can't do anything more than mend some of the broken pieces. True healing of a broken heart can only come from finding the reasons it was broken in the first place—and fixing them."
"I know."
"You cannot hold the burden of these troubles solely on yourself. It is as much Peter's fault as it is yours.” I kissed the top of his head. “But the love is there and it is strong. I have faith that it will all work out."
"Yeah."
I sat back and tilted his head back so I could see his face. “Ready for bed yet?"
"Not yet, unfortunately. You go on ahead. I'll keep myself entertained for a while if you don't mind."
"Nope, don't mind. Just don't try to leave.” I smiled. “Nothing's really changed since you've last been here. I'm ridiculously slow in updating."
He leaned up and kissed me, a soft press of lips against mine. It was such a tender, gentle gesture that I couldn't help but melt against him. Oh yes, there would be sex between us, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be full of the rough and growly sex all the time. There would be comfort sex, and sometimes, that could be the best sex of all. Lucien soon pushed me back, and then leaned in to kiss my cheek.
"Sleep well, Sabaan."
* * * *
I buried my face in the pillow, trying to block out the sounds. I'd fallen asleep as soon as I'd gone to bed, but something had startled me out of sleep. Once awake, I could hear Lucien in the living area, in the kitchen, the other rooms—pacing, stopping on occasion to pick something up, only to put it down again and continue his pacing.
The energy and frustration I felt from him was driving me insane. I looked over at the clock. Fucking nine-thirty in the morning and he was still awake? What. The. Fuck.
Sighing, I threw the comforter off. I got up and walked into the living room, but didn't see Lucien. I walked a little further and found him standing in front of the open refrigerator.
"Lucien?"
He sighed and shut the door, but didn't turn around. “I didn't mean to wake you."
"Are you hungry? Do you need to feed, maybe?"
I didn't know what the hell he needed. The only thing I did know was that he shouldn't be awake at this time of day. I went to him, cupping his elbow and drawing him out of the kitchen. He seemed lost, almost letting me lead him.
But he still didn't answer.
Very, very odd.
"Come on.” I led him back to my bedroom. “No guest room for you, honey."
I got back in bed, rearranged the pillows, and then patted the empty spot beside me. Lucien stripped off his robe and slid into bed. He lay there for a bit, staring up at the ceiling. After a while, he turned on his side and propped his head on his hand and stared at me.
"What?"
"Nothing,” he whispered.
"Well then, quit staring at me, you fool."
"Why did you not turn me away?"
"You were always hard to resist.” I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. “Now quit staring."
"After everything I've done to you ... You still would take me in at dawn.” Lucien shook his head. “I don't understand it."
"I would have taken in any vampire at dawn.” I didn't want to get into a long, drawn-out discussion at this time of morning. “If I'd thrown you out and you'd burned to a crisp, it would have been my head on a platter. Self-prese
rvation at its finest, love."
"I would have thrown me out."
Damn. There would be discussion after all. I turned to face him, smiling at the way he looked so ... Not naïve, certainly not innocent, but ... Contemplative? Confused, maybe? He was still so human for a vampire of his age.
"We can't live in the past, Lucien.” I trailed a finger over his brow and down his cheek. “It can consume our every thought, our every action."
"I hurt you."
"I hurt you first,” I said. “We were good friends and I took advantage of both that and you. You had every right to be angry with me. Not for nearly twenty years, but—"
"It hasn't been that long!"
"Almost."
Lucien leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I have missed you."
"Even while you were hating me?"
"I never truly hated you, Sabaan.” He ducked his head a little, but didn't pull away. “I told others I did—told myself that I did—but in truth I still craved your presence. Your touch, your voice..."
"I'm hard to forget."
"In so very many ways.” He toyed with a lock of hair at my shoulder. “Not all of them sexual, either."
I couldn't help but laugh. “You do realize how much we contradict our own kind, don't you? Incubi who don't base everything on sex?"
"Oh, now I wouldn't say that.” Lucien lay back on the pillow and tucked an arm behind his head, sighing. “I should be asleep."
"Yes, we should.” I twirled the lock of hair he'd been playing with between my fingers. “But since you woke me up, tell me something?"
"Sure."
"If you had to choose an eye color for me, what would it be?"
He just looked at me.
"Brown? Blue? Green, maybe? Hypothetically speaking, of course."
"Your eyes are beautiful as they are."
"You are absolutely no help at all.” I sat up and leaned back against the wall since my bed didn't have a headboard. “Come on. Play the game with me."
"Hypothetically speaking?” Lucien sighed. “Hell, I don't know. Green, I guess."
"You think I'd look better with long or short hair? I mean, I think I like it long, but maybe it draws too much attention, you know? Maybe I should try one of those hip new styles and keep it sort of long and sort of short—like they show in all the magazines. Maybe I wouldn't have to grind my horns down too much if I got it cut the right way. That'd probably hurt like hell. Though I'm sure I'll look like a girl any way I do it."
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