I found an empty bedroom upstairs and flopped onto the bed. The slanted ceiling had a large skylight and I could see stars beginning to light up the night sky.
“I can’t believe you left me down there,” Dexter’s voice said from the doorway.
“You were busy making friends.”
It was true- my family had taken to him instantly. His charm could not be resisted, especially by my aunts and female cousins.
The bed moved as Dexter joined me. Lying shoulder to shoulder, we stared at the sky. I could tell that he had something he wanted to say.
“Someone told you, didn’t they?”
His arm pressed harder against mine as he turned to me. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were the one that found your father’s body?”
“That’s not the type of information I usually share with people I hardly know.”
“Nice try. If this were still our first date, I would let it slide. But after this last month, all those long talks we had? You never thought to mention it?”
“I don’t like to talk about it. Or even think about it, for that matter.” I had only ever talked about it with two people- the psychiatrist my mother had made me see for two months afterward and Payton. As far as I was concerned, it wasn’t anyone else’s business. “That was the worst day of my life, Dex. I just want to forget about it.”
He let out a low breath. “You know that’s never going to happen, right?”
It had taken almost six months for me to stop having nightmares about it. Another year before I could watch movies that involved guns and shooting. That’s what had made my mother’s marriage to Rick so painful. She had clearly been able to forget and move on while I was trapped in the nightmare.
“When Dad found out about Rick, he went crazy. Literally. Rick had been his best friend for years, so it was the ultimate betrayal. Dad couldn’t stand to be around Mom so he got an apartment downtown. When I found out that he moved out, I packed a bag and announced that I was going to live with him.”
I remembered clearly how Mom had looked at me sadly, but had allowed me to leave. She had said that she thought it might be for the best. Her cavalier approach to it had stung. Payton had cried when I left, convinced that our family was broken forever. She hadn’t been wrong.
Dad had left us a key to his place so I hadn’t needed to call him to let me in. The second I opened the door, I knew something was wrong. I could smell the blood and feel the death. I found his body on the floor next to his bed, blood and brain matter on wall. The room started to spin and I promptly vomited at his feet.
Somehow, I had managed to call 911. They sent an ambulance even though I had told them he was already dead. When they asked me if I needed to call anyone, I panicked. I couldn’t imagine telling Payton something so horrible over the phone, and I hated my mother too much right then. Then I thought of Rick, and laughed at the irony of calling him while standing over Dad’s dead body. But that’s exactly what I did. I knew that he would take care of Mom and Payton.
“I didn’t speak to my mother for two weeks after. I couldn’t even look at her.” I managed to tell Dexter the entire story without breaking down. It felt like I was relaying the script to a movie rather than talking about the darkest day from my past. “I still haven’t forgiven her and I’m not sure I ever will.”
“How did Payton cope with everything?” Dexter spoke very quietly, like he was afraid to interrupt me.
I sighed. “Better than me. She was mad for a while, too, but she acted out rather than keeping her anger bottled up. She started sleeping with losers, partying all night, skipping school. I think she actually wanted the attention while I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.”
Dexter’s hand touched the back of mine softly. I turned it over and he threaded our fingers together. “You went through a terrible trauma, Taylor. It makes sense that you wanted to retreat for a while.”
“I didn’t just want to retreat. I wanted to disappear.” I let go of his hand and turned onto my side, propping myself up on an elbow. The moonlight cast shadows over Dexter’s face, making him look older and more serious than I had expected. “College was the best thing that ever happened to me because I was able to get out of that house. My mom was happy to see me go, too.”
“Has your mother ever tried to talk to you about everything?”
I scoffed. “No. That would mean she might have to admit that she did something wrong.”
“I’m sure she knows that she did something wrong,” Dexter protested gently. “Maybe she can’t admit it out loud, but it has to have been eating her up inside all these years. Maybe that’s why she was glad to get you out of the house. I’m sure it destroyed her to see you and your sister every day and be faced with the guilt constantly.”
“I’m sorry my existence is so painful for her,” I snapped.
Dexter reached for me, but I moved away. It wasn’t so much because what he said had hurt me, but more because I was annoyed that he pointed out something I had already known deep down. As much as I complained about what she had done, I knew that she was tortured about what had happened with our family. It was just easier to hate her if she was the enemy.
“Don’t shut me out, Taylor.” Dexter sat up. “It’s time to stop retreating.”
“I’m just tired,” I said without looking at him. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’m sure.” He pointed to the door. “Those are some pretty intense people out there.”
“And it’s so completely unintense in here,” I said with a small smile.
He reached over and pushed a strand of hair from my eyes, tucking it behind my ear. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“I don’t think I ever told you how happy I was to see you earlier.” In fact, I was certain that I hadn’t. I had a nasty habit of taking Dexter for granted. “It’s pretty amazing that you are here.”
“It’s the least I could do considering I’ve been canceling our dates for the last month.” His hand stroked my cheek. “Our late night phone calls were the best part of my days.”
I tilted my head into his hand. “Ditto.”
“But I think I like this better,” he said, leaning closer. “Being able to look at you. Touch you.”
His hand moved down my neck, causing me to shiver. I almost managed to forget that thirty members of my family were just downstairs.
“We should go to the cottage,” I said breathlessly.
“We should,” he agreed.
Actually making our getaway was easier said than done. We had to maneuver our way through an entire house of nosy people, some of which were more perceptive than others. My Aunt Lydia couldn’t stop telling me about her rose bushes, despite the fact that I was inching away from her the entire time.
“Penny needs you in the other room, dear,” Charles interrupted. “She’s thinking of starting her own rose garden.”
“Oh, wonderful!” Lydia disappeared without a goodbye.
“Thank you,” I said meaningfully.
Charles winked. “Have a good night.”
But when we made it outside, Dexter pulled away. “I need to make a few calls. I know I promised that I would leave work behind, but-”
“It’s fine,” I said, putting my hand on his chest and kissing him softly. “Do what you need to do. I can wait. For you, I can wait.”
He surprised me by putting his arms around me, pulling me against him in a tight hug. His chin rested on top of my head and I could feel his heart beating strongly in his chest. It felt really good just to be held and I stayed in his arms until he finally let go.
“I’ll be right in,” he promised.
My body had felt so warm and alive next to his that I was surprised at how cold it was inside the cottage. Very quickly, I surveyed the clothes I had packed for the weekend. I hadn’t exactly been anticipating a romantic trip and my clothing choices reflected that. One of the bags was unfamiliar. It must have been one of Cessy’s that was put in my room b
y mistake.
I unzipped it quickly, surprised to find a note with my name on it scribbled in Cessy’s handwriting.
You can thank me later.
Underneath the note I found a stack of lingerie, carefully folded satin and lace. They weren’t exactly my style, but I wasn’t in a situation where I could be picky. It was certainly better than the flannel PJs I had packed. Quickly, I grabbed the bag and ducked into the bathroom.
I lifted the first item out of the bag and gasped. It was completely see-through. The next item was just as sheer. At the bottom of the bag, I found a black teddy that wasn’t completely transparent.
The door to the cottage opened and Dexter’s footsteps creaked the wooden floors.
“Everything okay at work?” I called, hurrying out of my clothes.
“Everything is fine.” He moved into the room. “It’s chilly in here. I’m going to start a fire.”
“Good plan,” I said, thinking about the fire I intended to start very soon.
It didn’t take me long to slip into the outfit. But it took a lot longer to convince myself to leave the bathroom with it on.
I found Dexter kneeling on a thick rug in front of the fire, prodding the logs with a metal poker. He didn’t know I was watching him which gave me a rare opportunity to study him openly.
His shoulders were broad, tapering to narrow waist. His hair had gotten shaggy and he needed a haircut, but it looked good with the rough stubble on his face. He looked just as good dressed down as he did in his business suit.
“Is it just me, or did it get hot in here?” I said, stepping further into the room.
Dexter turned and his face went slack as he took in my new appearance. I had to fight the urge to throw my arms around myself and duck back into the bathroom. But when a lustful smirk appeared on his face, I knew Cessy had made a wise choice.
“I’m certainly feeling warm,” he said.
“Maybe that’s because you’re still wearing all those clothes,” I said, feeling audacious at my directness.
“That’s probably it.” He stood in one fluid movement. “You should come help me out of them.”
I didn’t exactly need convincing. When I was standing before him, I could see desire in his eyes that matched my own. I tugged at his sweater for several seconds before he helped me pull it from his body.
When his bare chest was exposed, I felt my knees go weak.
“You okay?” he asked, noticing my wobble.
“Never better,” I said with a smirk.
My fingers only fumbled for a second with his belt. He was a much smoother operator than me, taking his time slipping the fabric from my body. We sank down as one onto the rug, finding it more convenient than walking all the way over to the bed. As warm as it was in front of the fire, things got much hotter when Dexter took control. His lips burned my skin while his fingers made me shiver.
For the first time ever in our relationship, I knew without a doubt that I was right where I was meant to be and that Dexter was a better man than I could have ever hoped to find.
He took his time, savoring each moment. I couldn’t take my eyes away from his face for even a second. His touch was tender, his lips gentle. I never wanted it to end.
Later that night, we were falling asleep in that very spot with our bodies tangled together. Dexter pulled a blanket over us, wrapping it around me before pulling me close. He whispered in my ear, “I love you, Taylor.”
Without giving it a second thought, I replied, “I love you more.”
The rest of the weekend was pretty much perfect. Dexter and I stayed in the cottage for most of the next day, leaving only when it was time for the anniversary celebration. Cessy had outdone herself by decorating the area outside the cottages with white twinkling lights, including the canopy that covered the fountain.
Uncle Hugh and Aunt Penny looked happy and relaxed as they mingled with the crowd. Even more people had shown up for the party, many of which had known my father when he was a boy. I loved hearing their stories about him and the other James siblings. It had been a long time since I had been able to hear people talk about him without wanting to cry. Instead, I ended up laughing so hard that my stomach hurt.
At the end of the night, I made my way to the makeshift bar just in time to have Charles empty the last of the wine into my glass. “You have impeccable timing.”
“This has been a lovely evening,” I said, feeling nostalgic. Now that I had gotten the chance to spend some time with them, I was sad that this would be my last interaction with them for the foreseeable future.
“You wouldn’t feel that way if you were around us more often,” Charles said with a laugh. “But it has been wonderful to meet you, Taylor. You remind me so much of William.”
“I do?”
Most people saw me and decided that because I looked like my mother, I must also take after her in the personality department.
“You have his dry wit. His warm smile. He would be proud of the way you have grown up.”
“Thank you. That really means a lot.” I blinked several times to keep tears from my eyes. “I miss him every day.”
Charles smiled knowingly. “Me too.”
It was a small moment, but it meant everything to me. For so long I had felt guilty for moving on, and Charles had just given me permission to do that very thing. Knowing that my father would be proud of me meant that I could finally let go of the past and start planning for the future.
That future was still uncertain except for one thing- Dexter would be part of it. He was my gravity, keeping me solidly in place when everything around me was spinning. I had no intention of ever letting him go.
DECEMBER
November flew by faster than I imagined was possible. Between my classes, spending time with Cessy and her friends, nights and weekends with Dexter, and squeezing in time to enjoy London, I barely had a moment to breathe.
Just when London was beginning to feel like home, I had to prepare to leave. As November turned into December, the city began to prepare for the holiday season. But it was hard to get excited about Christmas knowing that I would be spending it in Chicago without Dexter and Cessy.
Even worse, December meant that I had to start studying for finals. I would’ve much preferred to spend my time hibernating in Dexter’s condo high above the city, enjoying breakfast in bed, not to mention other things in bed. But, alas, I needed to pass my classes.
Dexter had to spend part of the week in Paris for a business meeting. I was bummed, but he gave me a key before he left insisting that I make myself at home in his condo. It was much easier to get studying done there than it was at home with Cessy chatting the day away, so I gladly accepted.
It didn’t hurt that his place was amazing. Floor to ceiling windows that gave me a 360 degree view of the city. His place took up the entire top floor and I never got bored snooping around. Dexter said he didn’t mind, insisting he had nothing to hide. Other than his nerdy collection of video games, that seemed to be true.
One night, after a full day of studying, I poked around in his bedroom looking for a warm pair of socks for my ice cold feet. His dresser had ten different drawers, each one holding neatly folded clothes. I was beginning to suspect that he suffered from obsessive compulsive disorder. But it was better than picking up dirty underwear from the bathroom floor.
The first two drawers held boxers and undershirts. The third drawer didn’t have any clothes in it. Instead, a series of watches, tie pins, and cufflinks were laid out neatly. A few items were still in boxes.
I had been kicking around the idea of getting him a pair of engraved cufflinks for Christmas, but I wasn’t sure about his style. This seemed like as good of a place as any to figure it out. After carefully checking the ones that were displayed in the open, I started opening the boxes. Mostly, his style was classic with very little flair. I wasn’t surprised.
Then I opened a third box, one that was smaller than the others, and gasped.
It didn’t hold cufflinks.
“Holy crap,” I whispered, even though there was no one around to hear me.
Very carefully, I lifted the ring from the box. I had never seen a diamond that large in real life. It was pure and unblemished and must have cost Dexter an insane amount of money.
“Put it back, Taylor,” I said out loud. “You were not supposed to find this.”
I pushed the ring back inside, snapped the lid shut, and set it in the drawer. Once the drawer was shut, I started breathing again. That ring had frightened me more than a scary movie.
Dexter kept a bar fully stocked and I poured a hefty amount of whiskey into a glass. When half of it was gone, I started to pace in front of the windows as my internal dialogue began to rant.
I wasn’t old enough to get married. I still needed to finish school. Dexter and I had only known each other for a few months and we had spent even less time together. Dexter had a crazy work schedule and would be spending at least another few months in London. Even after the London office was settled, he would still be splitting his time between here and Chicago. I wasn’t interested in a long-term, part-time relationship. His lifestyle was very different from my own. I wasn’t ready to settle down.
Once the floodgates opened, I couldn’t keep them away. There was no logical reason in the world for me to accept his proposal, and yet… I loved him.
* * *
December 8
In just one week, we’ll all be back in Chicago. That doesn’t seem possible. I never even got around to visiting Scottie. We had a weekend all planned, but she had to cancel at the last minute. It was so unlike her that I’m worried about her. She seems different.
So much has changed since that dinner back in August. I feel like a different person. I have family now- a really big, crazy family. Aunts, uncles, and cousins bothering me daily on Scuttle and I love every second of it.
And oh yeah, I’m also in love with the founder and CEO of Scuttle. I spent the last three days camped out in his amazing home and right now I’m anxiously awaiting his return. Did I mention that he’s going to propose to me? I know, Cam, it’s crazy. But I saw the ring with my own two eyes and when he called this morning, he said he had something important to ask me when he gets home.
Love in London (Restless Hearts) Page 8
