Mike narrowed his eyes. “Well, sure, I knew the kids would stress you out. Little ones have never been your thing. But that’s not it. You’re stressed, but the Gabe I know gets all hard and sharp when he’s stressed. You’re...” Mike grinned. “Well, to be honest, you got a bit of warm and fuzzy comin’ up around the edges.”
Gabe was suddenly thunderstruck by the ludicrous thought: Did it show? Could people actually see the way he felt like he was walking around with his chest cracked open? “It’s nothing.” He knew the minute he said it that Mike wasn’t convinced. Maybe that was the real reason his friend had made the trip out here “on his way to Austin.”
“Come on, Gabe. You know me better than to think I’ll fall for that. What aren’t you telling me?”
Gabe felt embarrassed that he actually checked the booths on either side of them to ensure they were empty. Haven had big ears and even bigger mouths some days. “It’s...well, it’s her.” He followed the words with a pleading look, hoping Mike wouldn’t laugh out loud.
“The mom? Avery Culpepper?”
Rather than confirm, Gabe offered Mike a helpless look. Gabe had, in fact, watched Mike gain the same helpless look over his current wife.
“I’m, um, she...” He couldn’t even bring himself to admit it.
Mike leaned in. “Wait a minute—are you telling me you’re falling for Avery Culpepper?” He leaned back with an examining eye as Gabe was powerless to deny it. The crack in his chest opened so wide it practically hurt. Every wailing country song about heartache made far too much sense to him these days.
“It’s such a bad idea,” he finally spit out. “We’ve dragged her and the girls into a calamity. She’ll never stay, and I couldn’t blame her a bit. I mean, come on—the timing, the circumstances, the little girls...”
Mike was stifling a chuckle under an entirely too-fake cough. “Well, what do you know? I wasn’t sure it would ever happen, to tell you the truth.”
“I’m miserable. You know me. I don’t do kids and family. I definitely don’t do little girls. This can’t possibly work out—everybody will end up hurt.”
The sharp tone knocked the amusement from Mike’s face. “Hey, I get it. You, me? We didn’t get role models. Nobody in your family or mine would ever be up for Father of the Year. It’s easy to think it’s in the blood, I know. Only I never could quite understand why you looked at my happiness like some prize you could never win. We don’t have to be the men our fathers were. With the right woman, we could be anything. I know I feel that way about Terri. Why not Avery?”
Gabe waited for the world to tilt. For some horrible thing to happen now that he’d admitted his attraction to Avery Culpepper to another living soul. Nothing. The world seemed to accept it far easier than he had.
“I can’t make sense of it, Mike. I can’t be anything close to what she needs. I can’t make the pieces fit.”
“You think this stuff ever goes by sense?” Mike fiddled with the gold band on his left hand. Gabe had been his best man when Mike acquired that ring. “I could give you twenty reasons why Terri and I shouldn’t be together. I expect she could give you thirty. You’re looking for order that won’t ever come, buddy. But it’s the best kind of miserable there is. Does Avery feel the same way?”
Gabe wished Mike hadn’t asked that. The answer seemed to make it all so much more unsettling. “Maybe. There are moments, you know? The way she looks at me. She put her hand on my shoulder the other night and I thought I’d keel over right off the porch.” He hadn’t planned on sharing that, but it seemed to rush out of him through the ever-widening crack in his chest. No matter how he tried, this whole situation wouldn’t stay within the neat lines he’d drawn around it, and that had to mean it was wrong.
“You do have it bad.” Mike sighed. “Always figured that when you fell, you’d fall hard.”
“She’s leaving next week, Mike. And she should leave. She keeps saying she’s got a job and a life back in Tennessee. Why ever would she stay in Haven after the whole Cyrus mess on the twentieth—and it will be one huge mess if we don’t find Theo.”
“You act like there’s no convincing her to stay. You said it yourself—she seems to like it here. She’d need the girls’ father’s permission, yes, but I’ve seen it happen. It’s not an impossible situation.”
Gabe slumped back against the booth. “Even if I could convince her—and I’m not saying I could—would it really matter without Theo? She’s told me she hates the idea of living under Cyrus’s shadow. Could I really ask her to stay here with the awful stuff that will happen? Would you want to raise Mikey in that kind of family baggage? I can’t deny her the chance to walk away from this craziness and go back to the life the girls know.”
“What about a life the girls want? What Avery wants? What you finally figured out you want? So you’ll let the memory of Cyrus Culpepper and the disappearance of your slippery old grandpappy cheat you out of your happiness? Now who’s choosing to live under a shadow?” Mike checked his watch. “You’re better than this, Gabe. You’re stronger than this, and I, of all people, know that. I’ve got to head to my meeting in Austin, but that doesn’t mean I’m slacking up on this with you. She could be the best thing to happen to you. But you’ll never know if you let her slip through your fingers, crazy bequest or no crazy bequest.” He stood up, gathering his coat. “As a matter of fact—”
“Mr. Boots!” Dinah’s voice clamored from behind Gabe in the restaurant. Mike smiled broadly while Gabe gulped. He turned to see Dinah, Debbie and Avery walking toward him.
“We got your note,” Dinah said.
Gabe stood and made the quickest introduction possible. Mike’s grin was making him so squirrelly he nearly forgot to ask what she meant. “What note?”
“The one you left telling us to meet you here after Debbie’s cast was on.”
Debbie held up her neon pink, casted arm, wiggling her fingers out of one end. “Doc Delgado was right—it’s all kinds of pretty colors now. But just a little broke.”
“Broken,” Avery amended. “And you left a note on our car in front of Dr. Delgado’s asking us to meet you here.”
Mike’s grin took on epic proportions. “Wasn’t me,” Gabe offered.
“Well, you’re here now,” Mike said cheerfully. He motioned toward the side of the booth he’d just vacated. “And I was just leaving before Gabe here had any chance at dessert. Have you had the pie here yet, girls?”
“Twice,” Debbie announced as she slid into the seat without hesitation. Gabe watched his planned trip to the bank and supply store dissolve right before his eyes. He was already behind on five projects—would it really matter if he was behind in six?
Mike looked down at Debbie. “Excellent! I hear pie is very good for broken arms.”
“Pie is very good for anything,” Dinah declared as she slid in next to Gabe.
“You didn’t ask us here?” Avery questioned, holding up a note. “You didn’t put this on my windshield?”
Gabe peered at the note. Whoever had been “matchmaking” all over Haven had now set their sights on him and Avery. Just when he was thinking March couldn’t get any worse.
Chapter Thirteen
Gabe had feared this moment since the day he had brought the box of swing parts onto the Five Rocks. He’d done everything he could think of to avoid it. He’d dodged several requests and had become an expert at creating urgent tasks whenever it looked as if the situation would arise.
And yet here he was, pushing Dinah on the swings Thursday morning.
Well, what did you expect when you put up a swing set? he lectured himself as Dinah settled herself gleefully onto the seat.
“Really high,” Dinah requested.
“Medium high,” Gabe responded, thinking Avery didn’t need more reasons to visit Dr. Delgado. She and Debbie were t
here now, getting a checkup on Debbie’s cast since her fingers were still looking puffy. As both girls were barred from the swing set until Debbie healed—a tactic even he could see as necessary since having one swing and one not would result in a torrent of tears—this was perhaps Dinah’s last chance to play on the swings.
He’d agreed to the idea when it was Marlene and Jethro doing the pushing. Then Marlene’s sister had one of her “emergencies”—that sister seemed to have dozens of crises, and always at the worst possible times—and the task had fallen to him.
At first he tried just watching. Supervising from the porch while Dinah pumped her tiny legs to no avail. He’d finally succumbed to the endless pleas of “Push me!” and found himself in his current predicament.
“Higher!” Dinah called.
“This is fine.”
“Pleeeeaaaaasssseeee?” Surely, the world had no more irritating sound than a little girl’s whine.
“Noooooooo,” he responded as firmly as he dared without making his voice reflect the annoyance he felt.
This went on for twenty minutes. Any adult would be dizzy by now, Gabe thought, which gave him an idea. He slowed the swing to a stop, bringing a king-size moan from Dinah.
“Have you ever spun a swing?” He tried to make it sound exciting.
“Spun?”
He appealed to Dinah’s sense of adventure. “You’ll have to hold on real tight.”
Her eyes lit up. “I can do that.”
“You’re sure now? I wouldn’t want you to fall off.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not Debbie.”
Gabe was glad her mother wasn’t here to hear that pint-size put-down. “Well, okay, if you’re sure you can hold on.”
Dinah replied by gripping the swing ropes with fierce determination.
Gabe spun Dinah around slowly, winding up the swing once or twice. “Ready?”
“Yup.”
He let go, allowing the swing to spin at a slow speed, unwinding the twist he’d just made. The maneuver was decidedly tame, but it made her giggle just a bit.
“Phew!” he teased. “You made it.”
“You’re silly,” she replied. “Do it again. Do it more.”
That came as no surprise. “You’re sure?”
“Spin it more!”
Gabe wound the swing six or seven times. “Hang on really tight now.”
The swing unwound longer and slightly faster. Nothing even remotely dangerous, but he could see Dinah’s eyes register a fair amount of dizziness when the swing finally stilled. She waited a moment—presumably for the world to stop swirling around her—before she looked up at him and said, “Again!”
“Okay, but this is the last time.”
“Noooooo.”
“Yes.” He repeated the winding, mildly enjoying her squeals and giggles as the swing twisted itself free. She was definitely wobbly by the end.
“Again!”
“Stand up first.” He got down on one knee in front of her, extending his arms for the inevitable. She stood up, and then promptly toppled over right into his arms. “And that’s why we’re stopping.”
He’d expected her to refuse and squirm out of his arms, but instead she clung to him, laughing and settling into his embrace. The simple, open nature of her action bowled him over, and he found his arms going around her before he could stop them, hugging her tight.
When was the last time he’d hugged someone? Or someone hugged him? Sure, there had been social hugs or the standard cowboy clasps on the back, but to be hugged, clung to like this? There had been one woman in his life, years back, who always draped herself on him in a way that felt suffocating. That woman had accused him—rightly so—of being cold and distant. Nothing about Dinah’s arms around his neck made him feel cold or distant. In fact, he wasn’t rightly sure who was hugging who more tightly.
When had he become so walled off from people that touch had left his life? It made sense now why Avery’s hand on his shoulder had bolted through him like a power surge.
“You’re fun,” Dinah said into the crook of his neck, snuggling closer. He told himself it was the dizziness that made her clutch him, but even he could see that for the lie that it was. She looked up at him. “Can you come home with us?”
The question smacked him in the chest. He sat back on the ground, bringing Dinah onto his lap.
“The swings can go home with you if you like. It’s not like I’m going to use them.”
“Yeah,” she said, settling herself as if sitting on Gabe’s lap was a perfectly natural thing to do. “Mom says we can bring them home. But can we bring you?”
Avery had said she would leave after the celebration, and he had no right to expect anything different from her.
Except that he did.
He’d somehow persuaded himself that they could stay, that they should stay. He didn’t like the idea of Debbie and Dinah leaving Haven, leaving his life. He certainly didn’t like the idea of Avery leaving his life. When he was honest, he didn’t even take to the idea of their leaving Five Rocks. For all his annoyance at shoes in the hall, crayon on his papers and five juice spills a day, the house would seem empty without them.
Lonely.
Gabe was not a man who got lonesome. His houseguests were messing with his insides, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“Can you?” Dinah persisted.
Clearly, she had no idea of the size or implications of her question. He had to give her an answer, but was stumped for what to say. He opted for a standard evasive tactic—ask another question. “Do you miss home?”
“I miss my bed.”
Gabe could commiserate. He’d never been much for traveling, preferring the comfort of his own familiar home. “I have a mighty fine bed. I’d miss it, too.”
“I know. Debbie and I jumped on it when...” Her eyes went wide. “Oops. I wasn’t supposed to tell.”
The thought of those two jumping on the high, wide four-poster king-size bed in his room both amused and irritated him. Those girls had gotten just about everywhere in his house. “What else do you miss?” he asked, not wanting to venture a comment on his bed’s use as a trampoline.
“I miss Dad.”
Another big answer. It was the first time either of the girls had mentioned their father in front of him.
“He left.” She said it with a heartbreaking sigh that made Gabe want to shake the clod of a man who had walked away from this family. The man who had Avery and gave her up was nothing short of a fool.
“I’m sorry for that,” he said.
“Mama says he’s still our dad.”
“That’s true,” Gabe replied. “He’ll always be your dad.”
“We don’t ever see him.” The sad tone of her voice sunk a hole in Gabe’s chest right in the spot where her little head lay resting.
“I’m sorry for that, too. I didn’t see my daddy growing up, either.” He found his arms tightening around the girl. “Shame something like that has to happen.”
She looked up at him. “Do you think he’ll come push me on the swings when we set ’em up back home?”
Those sweet little eyes could tear him to bits. Based on what Avery had told him, the answer was most likely no, which made that hole in his chest sink a mile deeper.
“I sure hope so” was all Gabe could manage to say. A fresh wave of resentment at the man fool enough to walk away from this family surged in his chest.
“Will you push me again?” Dinah asked.
Gabe said, “Absolutely,” with no hesitation at all. He stood up and set Dinah on the ground in front of him. “But only until we hear Debbie and your mom coming up the drive. Then we’ll have to stop.”
“I know, ’cuz it’s not fair.” Dinah’s bottom lip stuck out ju
st the tiniest bit. “She can’t swing.”
“It won’t be much longer,” Gabe replied, consoling her as he began pushing. All the irritation had deflated right out of him thinking how Dinah had no dad who cared enough to push her on the swings. It won’t be much longer until they leave. This house will never feel the same, Gabe thought as Dinah’s giggles sailed across the spring breeze. He could never hope to be the kind of father Debbie and Dinah deserved, but today, now, he could be the kind of man who pushed a swing.
* * *
Avery and the girls were sorting flowerpots for celebration table decorations later that afternoon when Gabe walked by.
“How’s the arm?” he asked Debbie.
She held up the bright pink cast. “Patching up.”
“Good for you.”
“The cast won’t feel so tight once her swelling goes down some more. Doctor Delgado gave us the X-rays to take back to Tennessee. Six weeks in the cast,” Avery added, “but she’ll be fine by the time it’s warm enough to swim.” He resumed his walking until Avery stood up. “Gabe?”
“Yes?”
She’d thought hard about how to ask this, given the many implications. “I’d like to go look at the cabin again. Take a good look inside this time, and see what kind of shape it’s in.” It was a perfectly reasonable request, but given how many people seemed to think she ought to fix it up and move right in, she’d hesitated.
“You can do that anytime you like. Haverman gave you the keys, didn’t he?”
“I...well, I’d like you to come with me.” She started to add all the reasons why, but ended up silent.
He looked at her for a moment, rightly puzzled at her request.
She had to say something. “I know you’re busy and everything, but... I just don’t want to do it alone.”
A warm understanding washed over his eyes. “I can take you up there.” He paused for a moment, and she could see him deciding whether to say more. There was a whole delicate conversation hanging in the air, but with the way things were, and with the girls right there, it would have to remain unspoken.
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