“Jesus. Okay, let me grab a condom.”
Her hand pauses. “I don’t—I don’t want you to use one.”
My heart stammers, my stomach flipping. I’ve never fucked without one before, and the thought of feeling Goldi bare has my cock pulsing.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m on birth control and I’ve never… I’ve never done it without one. I don’t want there to be anything between us.” Pink rises on her cheeks.
Her words undo me. I slide her panties down her legs, her pussy bare and on display. Beautiful. I eat her up with my gaze. She’s naked from the waist down, her blouse splayed open and the cups of her bra bunched under her breasts. Her cheeks are rosy, her honey hair contrasting against the black of my bedspread, making her look like an angel. My angel.
Mine.
She leans on her elbows, watching me watch her. My hands glide up her arms, slipping underneath her blouse, sliding it down her shoulders. I trail kisses up her neck, nipping her earlobe as I undo her bra. It falls from her body and I’m drunk on the view. The outside is just as beautiful as her inside.
I push her up the bed, crawling over her. She pulls my boxers down and I rip my shirt over my head.
Now it’s Goldi who stares. She licks her lips, a possessive gleam filtering through her eyes. That’s right, baby. I’m yours just as much as you’re mine. She grabs my cock and pulls me against her until the length of me is pressed along the heat of her pussy. I glance down at where we’re touching. I thrust forward, dragging every inch through her pussy lips until my tip grazes her clit. She gasps, and I bite my lip.
I move my hips back, my cock pulling away from her warmth and line myself up at her entrance. I pause, my breath stuttering in my lungs. I want to remember this moment forever.
“Chase, please,” she begs again.
I hold her eyes with mine as I move forward, slipping inside her slowly. Inch by inch. She’s hot and tight and wet as fuck and goddamn, I can’t believe this is happening. Her pussy clenches and my body reacts, sinking into her. I’m deep. So. Fucking. Deep. The threads of our connection light me up, zinging through every nerve ending. I love her. I fucking love her. I’ve never felt anything like this.
Goldi closes her eyes, turning her head to moan into the sheets. My hand reaches up to grip her chin. “No, baby. Look at me.”
I pull my hips back until just my tip is inside her.
I wait.
She opens her eyes.
I plunge deep and hard, making sure she feels every inch of me. I work up a rhythm. Long, deep strokes. Her pussy hugs my shaft on every thrust. She moans, her muscles clenching again and the burn of my orgasm licks at my insides.
“Does that feel good?” I ask, grinding against her clit.
“Yes, oh my God. Chase… I didn’t know it could feel like this.”
I lean down to suck her neck, needing her taste in my mouth—wanting her to consume all of my senses. She pushes on my chest and I leave the warmth of her body as she tries to turn us. I go willingly, turned the fuck on that she wants to take control. Leaning back on my elbows, I watch as she positions herself over me, straddling my thighs. My eyes devour her. She’s so sexy.
My breath is heavy from exertion and my gaze is glued to where she’s sinking her pretty pussy down on me. Inch by agonizing inch, her tight cunt swallows my length. I fist my sheets to keep from thrusting up into her. I want to see what she does when she’s in control. The view of her on top drives me insane with her perfect tits and those parted lips that suck me so damn good.
She lowers all the way down until she’s sitting in my lap. Her hips rotate. A tingle races through me.
She grinds down. My hands shoot to her hips.
She rises up and I’m transfixed by her arousal coating the length of my cock.
Her hand traces along her stomach until she’s cupping her tit. Her other hand tangles in her hair, gripping it tight as she rides me. Holy fuck. I wish I could take a picture because this is by far the sexiest sight of my life.
My cock swells.
“Shit, Goldi. You need to stop.”
She shakes her head, riding me faster. Every muscle in my body tightens. I grab her hips, trying to slow her down. She doesn’t, instead she fucking squeezes around me and I let out a moan, my eyes rolling in the back of my head. Fuck.
She smirks and does it again. My grip becomes tighter as I flip her over, grabbing her wrists in my hand and pinning them above her head. She inhales sharply, surprised by the sudden change in position.
I grin down at her. “My turn.”
I thrust hard. The slight sheen of sweat makes our bodies slick against each other as we move in tandem. Our lips are so close we’re breathing the same air and it heightens fucking everything.
She breathes out, I breathe in.
I wonder if she can taste how much I need her.
My hips drive into her steadily and hers rise underneath to meet me thrust for thrust. My teeth graze her mouth, her chin, her neck, her breast. Anywhere I can reach. I’m fucking wild for her.
“Are you gonna give it to me, Goldi?” Our mouths brush. “I want to feel you come all over my cock.”
She arches into me, closing her eyes as her body convulses, her inner walls gripping me tight as hell, contracting around me. The sensation envelops me, and I have to fight to keep my eyes open as the pleasure threatens to take me under. I want to see every second of her coming apart for me. Because of me. With me.
My balls draw up as my orgasm prickles. “Fuck, baby. Goddamn.”
Goldi opens her eyes. “Come inside me.”
My orgasm scorches through me, frying every nerve ending and making my vision go white. I push as deep as I can go, my cock jerking as I coat the inside of her.
Holy shit.
I collapse on top of her, my hair sticking to my forehead and my chest heaving. Goldi traces her fingers up and down my back. Aftershocks run through me, making my body jump from her touch.
It could be seconds, or it could be minutes later, but I finally roll off her. She giggles.
I turn my head. “Something funny?”
“I just… that was the best sex I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t have wasted all those years if I had known I was missin’ out on that.”
I smirk at her. It’s about all I can do right now, my body still feels like Jell-O. But, yeah. Definitely the best sex of my life.
42
Alina
Being with Chase was more than I thought it ever could be. I always knew it would be explosive between us, but that was another level. I’ve never had someone take control of my body, and just know what I need.
Dang, I wanna do it again.
He’s girthy. Bigger than Logan, for sure. He stretched me in ways I didn’t know would feel good to be stretched. I’m sore and content lying in his bed, my fingers trailing his chest, my head resting in the nook of his arm. He sweeps a kiss across my hair and I hide my smile in his side.
“Do you have plans this weekend?” he asks.
“Nope. Why?” It’s semi-true. Technically, I have brunch plans with Becca and Jax, but I can cancel on them for one week.
“I want you to come with me to Nashville. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”
I look up at him. “You gonna show me where you’ve been all this time?”
He grins. “There’s this thing I go to on Sundays. I’d like you to come with me.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of ‘thing?’”
“A meeting.” His words carry a serious vibe that washes away my relaxation. “It’s helped me a lot, and I thought maybe it could help you too.”
The cozy warmth in my chest starts to chill. I push against him, sliding away. “Help me? Why do you think I need help?”
He’s quick to pull me back, his strong arms cocooning me as he drops kisses on my cheeks. The anger that was threatening under the surface melts away.
“I don’t mean it like that,” he reassures.
“It’s a group for people who have been affected by addiction.”
I scoff. “I’m not an addict, Chase. That’s Daddy. I don’t need a group to tell me that.”
“I know, baby. It’s a place for support.”
I feel the scowl transform my face and Chase frowns as he stares at me. “I know it’s the last thing you want to do. I mean, it was the last fucking thing I wanted to do, too. So I get it. Believe me. But this isn’t a group that will judge you. You don’t need to say anything. No one even has to know about your dad.”
I run his words through my head. “I don’t have to say anything?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d like you to come though. It’s an important part of me. And you’re also an important part. The most important part. I really want to share this with you.”
This is not what I had in mind when he asked if I was busy this weekend, but I can’t deny the curiosity that’s brimming, wondering what it was like for him in Nashville during our years apart.
“Okay. I’ll go.”
In the middle of the night, Chase slips inside me again. I don’t resist, even though I’m sore. And then again this morning, when he takes me up against the shower wall—I revel in the sting.
After breakfast, he drops me home so I can pack an overnight bag for Nashville. I text Becca and Jax, canceling brunch. I feel guilty because I haven’t told Becca about Chase yet, so I ask her to stop by. I’m nervous to tell her. Becca isn’t known for her soft-spoken words or her understanding. She was the one who was there from the beginning with Chase and me. From the first unrequited crush to the soul-crushing loss that swallowed me after he was gone. If anyone has a right to be upset about our relationship, it’s her.
I’m throwing clothes in my bag when she shows up. She walks in like she owns the place, sashaying through the doorway.
“I know you think you can just ditch me and Jax for brunch, but I’ve come to force you to go.”
I smirk as I fold my shirt and place it in my bag. “I can’t go, Becca. I’m goin’ out of town for the night.”
She plops down on my bed, frowning. “Oh. With who?”
I steal a glance at her, my nerves making eye contact impossible. Here we go. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. “Chase.”
Becca stares at me, her face blank. I continue flitting around my room, flinging clothes that I don’t need for a one-day trip into my bag. Anything to keep busy so I don’t feel the weight of her gaze.
After going through every possible wardrobe combination, I can’t take the silence anymore. “Are you gonna say somethin’? You’re makin’ me nervous.”
Becca tilts her head, blinking.
“Well.” I raise my hands. “You’ve got nothin’ to say about this?”
She sighs, breaking her stare and picking at her nails. “What would you like me to say, Lee? You’ve clearly made up your mind already. You’re a big girl, I don’t need to fight your battles for you.”
My eyes sting from how wide I open them. I press the back of my hand against her forehead. “You feelin’ okay? No snarky comeback? No witty retort?”
She bats my hand away. “Just so we’re clear, you want me to be a bitch about this?”
I sit down on the bed, my face scrunching at her question. “I don’t… I don’t know. I’m confused by your reaction. I was prepared to defend myself and here you are messin’ up my plans.”
She rolls her eyes. “I have other things to worry about, Lee. If you wanna go down a road that you already know I don’t approve of, that’s on you. I’ll be here to wipe your tears when he inevitably fucks it all up. Again.”
I chew on my lip. “You really think he’s gonna mess up again?”
She lifts her shoulders. “He’s a man. That’s what men do.” She falls back on my bed, crossing her hands over her stomach. “Hey, how come you gave out my number, Lee?”
My eyebrows draw in. “What on Earth are you talkin’ about?”
She levels me with a glare. “My number. You gave it to Eli’s… thing.” She waves her hand in the air. “Samantha or whatever her name is.”
“Sarah,” I correct.
“Whatever.”
“Uhm. Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“Well, it is,” she says, crossing her arms.
I narrow my eyes. “I gave it to her ‘cause I’m tired of tryin’ to figure out what the heck is goin’ on with you and my brother. It’s exhaustin’, Becca. And while we’re on the subject—just so you know… I’m not dumb.”
Her face pales and she pulls her hair into a ponytail, moving it to her other shoulder before releasing it. She’s always played with her hair when she’s nervous. The fact she’s doing it right now is a big tell.
“I don’t know why you keep sayin’ things like that. Your brother’s a jerk, and he always has been. I saw him around campus sometimes. He didn’t like things I had to say and I didn’t like the way he abandoned you. We didn’t exactly get along.”
“Okay. So what’s the big deal with Sarah then?”
“I don’t like her.” She shrugs.
“Mmhm. Well, I’m sorry. You’ve known Eli since you were in diapers. I really didn’t think a thing of it.”
She twirls the ends of her hair between her fingers, blowing out a breath. “That’s alright. I’m just pissed off because my old man’s thrilled to have somethin’ for me to do. He keeps tellin’ me ‘idle hands are the Devil’s playground.’”
“So he’s makin’ you help?”
She scoffs. “He’s puttin’ me in charge of the whole damn ceremony.”
My jaw drops. “Do you even wanna do somethin’ like that? Your daddy should realize you’re twenty-six and capable of makin’ your own decisions.”
“Yeah, well… that’s a fight for another day.”
She stares at her hands. I watch her, wondering what it is that’s making her so melancholy.
She looks at me, pasting a smile on her face. “You never told me where asshole of the century is takin’ you.”
I want to keep pressing her on Eli. She’s crazy if she thinks I’m stupid enough to buy her story, but I let her steer the conversation in a different direction. Since she’s in charge of his wedding ceremony, there will be plenty of opportunities for me to watch them together. Plus, I’m sure they’ll both be at Sam’s retirement party next weekend. Everyone in town is going. Even Daddy.
I’m not sure what to expect from this mini-trip with Chase. We’re only here for one night, and I’ve already seen almost everything there is to see of Nashville, so I don’t have any grandiose ideas. I’m anxious to experience a bit of what Chase’s life was like without me. I want to see this side of him, even if that means sitting in a room full of people whose scars remind me I’m still bleeding.
We debate whether to order room service. I figure it would be a shame to not experience the Nashville nightlife, so we end up going to a casual spot downtown. A band is playing on the patio, so I’m thankful we’re being led to a table inside where we can still talk. I slide into the booth, looking at our surroundings. It’s busy, but then again, it’s Saturday night so I shouldn’t be surprised. The walls are bright pops of color. Neon greens and purples clash against the dark concrete floors. This place is clearly not known for its aesthetics.
“Is this your favorite restaurant here in Nashville?” I tease.
He smiles. “I don’t really have a favorite. But this is where I would come sometimes to grab a beer. Their food’s decent. Plus, I can’t take you to a fancy place. Wouldn’t want to ruin my reputation and make you think I was trying to woo you.”
He winks and I giggle. “No, no chance of that.” I glance down at the menu, perusing the options.
“See anything you like?” he asks.
I grin at him from across the table. “This is perfect. They have fried green tomatoes, which is all I need to be happy.”
The waiter comes around bringing us drinks and taking our orders. We’
re left to relative silence, only the bass drum from the outside band thrumming in our ears. I see his mind working and I wonder what he’s thinking. Does he regret bringing me here? Is he thinking about his ex? Did he bring her here?
Stop it.
“So, tell me about this thing you’re takin’ me to tomorrow.”
He sips his beer, his eyes never leaving mine. “It’s a group meeting. We get together in the basement of a church and share stories. My therapist actually encouraged me to go a few years ago, and it’s helped me with… everything, really.”
I still can’t wrap my head around Chase seeing a therapist. I’ve tried to imagine it a million times, but I always come up short. “How often do you go?”
“Every weekend. I actually lead it, now.” Something that looks an awful lot like pride fills his eyes. Shock weaves its way through my system as I listen to him. “I don’t know how the fuck they decided I’d be the best for that. But here I am.”
The waiter interrupts, dropping off our fried green tomatoes. They smell delicious, but I don’t want to ruin the moment by indulging.
Instead, I urge him to continue. “How does it help?”
“Easy question.” He smirks, his fingers tightening around his beer. “I never processed all the emotion that came with being the son of an addict. Never let myself really feel it.” His head is angled down, but his eyes glance up at me. “The shame that surrounds it. The feelings of complete fucking failure. The anger I have toward my mom… toward Lily.”
My heart pangs with an ache so sharp it shoots to my toes. Even though he isn’t talking about me, I’m rubbed raw from his words. Each syllable pulls at the emotions I keep hidden away.
“I’ve lived with that shit all my life, Goldi. I let it infect every fucking part of me. And it wasn’t until I went to this group and heard other people’s stories—saw the pain, and the anger, and the misplaced embarrassment on other people’s faces…” He shakes his head, taking another sip of his beer. “That shit makes you put things in perspective. For the first time, I realized I wasn’t alone.”
Beneath the Stars Page 25
