But I’ll write about Goldi. I miss her. And that makes me feel a little pathetic because I saw her earlier today. I keep reminding myself to take things slow. I mean… not physically obviously. Now that my cock has felt the heaven that is her pussy, I don’t think I can ever go without it again. But if I thought she would say yes, I‘d move her into my place tomorrow. I want to be near her. Always. Is it too soon to have her here all the time? Is it normal to feel like this? The first time around things were intense, but I don’t remember it being this fucking overwhelming. All I see is her. I taste the memory of her on my tongue. I fucking smell vanilla even when she isn’t around. I’m going fucking crazy.
But I don’t care. I’ll live the rest of my life crazy, as long as I get to be crazy for her.
46
Alina
“Your brother is an asshole!” Becca screeches, throwing the front door closed behind her.
I smirk, holding out the glass of wine I had, poured and waiting. Chase and I were on our way to his place when she called in a tizzy. Her first official “meeting” with Eli and Sarah was today, and she threatened bodily harm if I dared to not be home when she showed up. So here I am, a bottle of wine and a listening ear.
“I take it things didn’t go well?” I try to hide my grin.
She glares at me. “No. Things did not go well. Your brother is literally the worst person I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowin’.”
My brow arches.
“I mean, how did you survive growin’ up with someone who’s so… so...”
“Particular?” I guess.
“Insane!” she shouts. “Ugh!”
I grimace as I watch her gulp down her glass of wine. Yuck. Red wine is meant to be savored, not chugged like a frat boy.
I try hard not to laugh, but it spills out anyway. It’s nice to know that even if Eli and I aren’t on good terms, he’s still him. As picky as the day is long, and as controlling as the moon with the tides.
“You shouldn’t let him get to you, Becca. He’s doin’ it on purpose. He loves gettin’ a rise outta people.”
“He’ll get a rise out of my foot when I shove it up his ass,” she mumbles, grabbing the wine bottle to refill her glass.
“Y’all have always been like oil and water. Remember how ticked he used to make you as a kid?” I smile at the memories. My heart squeezes, beating out a melancholy song that has me aching for my big brother.
“Well, I don’t know how Sarah puts up with him. I could never. Really, there’s no way I could ever marry that man, let alone live with him. It woulda been a terrible decision.”
My stomach jumps in my throat, the wine that just passed my lips shooting back into my glass. “Come again?”
She yawns, running a hand over her face. “Huh?”
“You said it would have been a terrible decision. What exactly are you referrin’ to in that statement? The marriage part, or the livin’ together part?”
Her spine straightens. “I didn’t say that. You misheard me.”
“What’d you say, then?”
“Hmmm?” She’s gulping down her wine. Again. “Hey, how was your trip with Chase?”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “Nope. No way. You don’t get to change the subject like that, Becca.”
She groans, throwing her head back. “I don’t wanna talk about Eli anymore.”
“That’s the whole reason you came over!” I throw my hands up.
“Well, I just needed to vent. I did and now I’m done.” She shrugs, tossing her curly hair over her shoulder.
Playin’ with her hair again. “You know, you and Eli are really startin’ to tick me off. I don’t appreciate bein’ the in-between for you two when neither of you will tell me what’s goin’ on.”
Becca doesn’t say anything, just picks at her split ends.
I grab her hand. “You can tell me, you know? You’re my best friend, Becca. Nothin’ will ever change that. Just please, tell me what’s goin’ on.”
“Nothin’ is goin’ on, Lee.” Her voice is a whisper. She sounds exhausted by my line of questioning.
She should try bein’ the one who has all the questions.
My intuition is an annoying gnat, flying around and nipping at my brain. But Becca’s the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. Continuing to try to get her to talk would be like beating a dead horse.
I narrow my eyes. “If you say so.”
Becca ends up staying the night, passing out on my couch shortly after she decided to avoid all conversation regarding Eli. I know what I heard. But it’s just too crazy to believe. She’s way too opinionated for someone like him, and he’d need to give up some of that precious control of his to have her. Yeah, right. Plus, there’s no way on God’s green earth Becca would hook up with my brother and not tell me about it.
I’m still thinking about it the next day while I’m sitting in the office and typing up a blog post for the Tiny Dancers website. Chase waltzes in, interrupting my thoughts, and my entire body fills up with my smile.
I love him.
My heart grows wings, flapping around my chest at the thought.
“Hey, baby.” He leans down, kissing me. “Fuck, I missed you. Please tell me I get to see you tonight.”
“You get to see me tonight,” I speak against his lips.
“Do you want to go grab something to eat? I’m about to head out for some wings with the guys, thought I’d see if you wanted to come along.”
I scrunch up my nose. I don’t like wings. “Bleh. Pass. Thanks, though.”
His face droops with disappointment, but I’d rather work through lunch and have time to stop for tulips on the way to Mama’s grave.
“Okay. But I’ll see you tonight? Want to go to the lake? Supposed to be a nice night.”
I beam at the thought. “I’d love that.”
He grins. “Alright, I’ll pick you up at your place.”
“I won’t be home until a little later. I’m gonna go visit Mama.”
His eyes gain a sadness to their hazel hue. We haven’t really delved into the “Mama” conversation yet, and that’s okay. I don’t particularly care for the weight that comes along with the topic.
“Okay, baby. Call me if you need me.” He presses a kiss to my temple, then reaches down and slips his hand under my skirt, grabbing a fistful of skin.
“Hey! Watch your hand, mister.” I laugh, smacking him away.
“Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He winks.
Just like that, he lifts the heaviness.
A few hours later, my feet slip over the freshly watered grass surrounding the path that leads to Mama.
My heart palpitates as I stand in front of her tombstone. I expected it to be in disarray—wilting flowers, some leaves that need to be cleaned. But it’s pristine. Cleaner than I’ve ever seen it, like someone took the time to meticulously scrub away all the dirt and grime. Fresh tulips sit in a vase with an envelope placed underneath. I step closer and peer down at the writing.
Dear, Ma.
My heart squeezes tight, forcing tears to trickle from my eyes. Eli came to see her. I wondered if he would. All the anger I felt toward him washes away, and I cry for my big brother.
“Hey, Mama.” I lay the flowers I brought along the bottom of her tombstone. “I see you had another visitor. I bet you’ve been missin’ him somethin’ fierce, huh?” I sit cross-legged, resting my elbows on my knees. “I’ve been askin’ for you to bring Eli home for years, and you finally did it. So thanks, I suppose. Although, this isn’t the way I expected it to happen.” I chuckle.
“Did you know he was gettin’ hitched?” I rest my chin in my hand. “I bet you were spyin’ on every second of him fallin’ in love, just couldn’t help yourself.”
Memories slide behind my eyes of Mama fussing over Eli and his “lonely heart.”
“Did you send Chase back to me, too?” A leaf blows onto my knee, and I pick it up, fingering the delicate greenery.
“Yo
u’re just movin’ down the list, huh?” I chew on my lip, frowning. “When ya gonna get to Daddy? Can you go be his guardian angel for a bit? I miss him almost as much as I miss you. For almost as long too.”
The breeze picks up, leaving a chill on my skin that’s unusual for this time of year. I close my eyes and meditate on the feeling—try to reach out and grasp a connection to Mama’s spirit. Eventually, a car door slams bringing me out of my reverie.
With a kiss to her name, I leave.
There’s a text waiting for me when I get to my car. I smile, seeing Jax’s name on my phone. He’s finally reaching out. I’ve wanted to smother him with my presence, but I know things are still raw. He says he needs space, so I’ve been trying to give that to him.
Jax: Hey sweetheart. What ya up to? Can we get together tonight? I’ve got some news.
Me: I’m busy tonight, but I’m all yours tomorrow evening! Wanna go out or stay in?
Jax: Shit, can’t do tomorrow.
Me: You going to Sam’s party on Saturday?
He’s leaving town soon to go back to California, but I hope I get at least one more weekend with him before he does.
Jax: Yep. I’ll be there to steal the show.
I grin.
It’s a beautiful night at the lake. But it always is when I’m there with Chase. Once again, we’re lying on the afghan in the back of his black pickup truck. Only this time, I’m not having to fight my feelings. No need to hesitate before reaching over and grabbing his hand, or rolling over and putting my head on his chest.
He tells me about the private investigator coming, and I vent my fears about Daddy. Mainly, that he won’t be able to string together a “congrats” for Sam at his retirement party. Once we’ve lightened the weight of what’s bringing us down, we’re able to relax, and just enjoy the peace that comes along with being together beneath the stars.
He trails kisses down the column of my neck, and my body trembles under his touch. My stomach tightens as his hand dips below my summer dress.
“Have I ever told you how much I fucking love the fact you always wear skirts and dresses?” He slips under the fabric and slides through my folds, spreading the wetness that’s leaking out of me from his touch and his words.
“Wh–why’s that?” I stutter.
“Easy access.” His breaths puff against my neck as he talks, and it sends shivers up and down my spine.
“Chase,” I breathe. “We’re in public.”
“There’s nobody here but us, baby.”
He bites my collarbone, a sting setting in from the marks his teeth leave behind. He pushes a thick finger inside me, my eyes fluttering closed as I gasp into his touch. He starts to slowly pump his finger in and out, frissons of lust sparking through my body.
“Besides,” he continues. “I think you’d like it if people were all around us, oblivious to the fact I’m about to make you come all over my hand.” He grinds his palm against me as he speaks.
My mouth parts, my eyes rolling back. I love that he knows what turns me on without me having to voice it. Is that why he keeps doing things where anyone can see? Heat spirals through my veins at the thought. He slips another finger in and moves faster, making me writhe underneath him. Tingles bloom between my legs.
He leans in, swiping his tongue along the length of my bottom lip before he moves his way down my body. He pushes my dress up further, his head disappearing underneath. I rise up on my elbows, scanning the shoreline to see if we’re still alone. Before I can make sure, my vision goes hazy from the sensation of his mouth closing around me. Right on that bundle of nerves begging to be touched. Licked. Caressed.
He twirls his tongue in tandem with his fingers, my heart beating to the pulse of my arousal. I drop back down, unable to hold myself up, tremors radiating through me. My legs wrap around him, his face fitting perfectly between them.
I lift my dress higher so I can watch him bobbing between my thighs. Reaching down, I grab fistfuls of his hair, pushing his face against me. He growls in response, his fingers twisting. Electricity lances through me.
My eyes have been closed but I force them open, wanting to watch as he makes me come apart. “Chase... I’m about to…”
His tongue moves faster. Circling. Flicking. Then he sucks hard, and I feel like I’m about to erupt. The pace of his fingers is audible from my arousal dripping on his hand.
I grip the strands of his hair tighter, twisting them as my back arches, pushing myself farther into his face. He groans like I’m the best meal he’s ever had.
I’m so close and I just need a little…
More…
Distant voices fill the air, and the panic that seizes my heart is all I need to push me over the edge.
I feel the moan building and Chase’s hand shoots up to muffle the noise. I bite down on his palm to keep from screaming. My inner walls clench around his fingers, sucking him in deeper as fireworks of pleasure explode and sizzle through my body.
He continues to lap at me as I catch my breath and float back to my body.
“Holy crap,” I say on an exhale.
He pops up and smiles, his mouth glistening. “Guess there was someone here after all.”
“You’re the worst.” I laugh, rearranging my clothes.
“You love me.”
I suck in a breath, and the carefree grin drops off his face. His words hang in the space between us.
I want to tell him that I do. I do love him. I don’t think I ever stopped. But my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth and I can’t get the words out.
“Hey, y’all got a light?” a voice interrupts our stare down, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Naw man, sorry,” Chase responds before turning back to look at me. “You ready to get out of here?”
“Sure.”
He grabs my hand, kissing the back of it, and the tension leaves my body with his gesture. “Okay, let’s go.”
We’re quiet on the drive to my place. It’s one of my favorite things about Chase. He doesn’t fill the air with empty thoughts. I find more comfort in his silence than I do in anyone else’s words.
We pull up to the front of my building and say our goodbyes. Just as I’m opening the truck door I hear his phone ding. I look back to see him frowning at the screen. I lean in to give him a kiss, and his arm jerks, angling the phone away from me.
Alarm bells sound in my head.
I don’t ask. Instead, I kiss him goodbye and run inside, thoughts of what he was hiding on his phone running through my head the rest of the night.
47
Chase
It was a knee-jerk reaction. One that I’m kicking myself over having. I saw the look on Goldi’s face when my hand jerked, but damn, I did not want her to see what was on my screen. Fucking Marissa. I thought everything was under control—that when I told her to cut it the fuck out with the naked pictures, she had listened. It’s only natural that when she decides to start up with her bullshit again, I’m with Goldi.
My insides feel jumbled. They aren’t going to calm down until I explain things to Goldi, but I need to do it in person. I want to look in her eyes and know she understands that when I pulled my phone away—it was to spare her the sight. Not for any other reason. Unfortunately, my explanation will have to wait because I won’t see her today. I’m stuck at the main office, and I’m tied up tonight and tomorrow setting up for Sam’s retirement party.
Still, I need to make sure we’re okay. I pull out my phone and text her.
Me: Good morning, baby. I hope your night was filled with dreams of the lake. And us. Preferably the latter. Have a good day today. Anything planned tonight?
Goddamn, that was cheesy.
I look up as Sam walks in, and shoot him a grin. “Hey, old man, didn’t expect to see you. I thought you’d be getting an early start on that retired life.”
“I can’t seem to stay away.” He plops down in front of my desk, making himself comfortable. “I just came to check in on yo
u, have a chat.”
I glance at my phone one last time, pushing it to the side and giving Sam my full attention. “How are you feeling about everything? You ready for your new slow and boring life?”
He runs his fingers through his graying hair, chuckling. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I never thought about what life would be like after, you know? I spent my whole life working toward a goal. Owning my own company. And then, building that company into something that would last.”
“You’ve got it made now.” I smile.
“Yeah.” He sighs, lifting his arms to the side. “What do you do when your dreams have come true?”
“Fuck if I know. Make a new dream, I guess. You ready for your party?”
He lifts a shoulder as he brushes his hands down the front of his shirt. “I guess. It’s more for Anna’s benefit than mine.”
“I think we all know that.” I relax into my chair.
“The party’s actually the reason I came to talk to you. Everyone from our company will be there. I’m going to make the announcement officially that you’re taking over as CEO.”
My heart beats faster. CEO. I knew it was coming, but it’s still a shock to the system. Back when I was a teen, I dreamed of this happening. When I became a man, I thought that dream was washed away in the stream of my mistakes.
I grit my teeth and nod, overwhelmed with gratitude for my second chance. Sam’s eyes soften and I know he gets it. This is a big moment. I glance at my phone again, wondering if there’s a text from the woman I want to share all my moments with.
My phone finally chimes three hours later.
Goldi: Sorry! I just saw this. Regina’s in today and is being EXTRA special. I hope your day’s good. Do you want to go to Sam’s party together? Or should I plan to show up with Jax?
Beneath the Stars Page 28
