by Megg Jensen
Rell looked to him again, this time trapped by the look in his eyes. His lids were half-closed, his eyes immensely sad.
"Don't do this," Torsten said. "If you hate us, fine. But don't do it because you think your gods want you to."
"You don't know what the gods want," Rell spat back at him. "You don't even believe in them."
Torsten stepped closer to the fire, a hand out toward Rell. "I don't believe in the gods, you're right."
"Torsten!" Mellok bellowed. "Don't make it worse!"
Rell heard Mellok, but she didn't see him. She focused solely on Torsten as he walked closer. If he walked into the fire, he'd be burnt just like Mellok. She swallowed hard, waiting for him to back away.
"Rell, I know you believe in the gods. I can't believe they would make someone as kind as you do their dirty work. If they wanted us dead, wouldn't they strike us down where we stand?" Torsten raised his arms to the ceiling of the cavern. "Come on, gods! Kill me! Do it now!"
Rell heard sobs in the background. Probably Leila. Or Andessa. Not Mellok. She could hear him grumbling about Torsten's stupidity.
Torsten waited. Rell wondered if the gods would indeed act for her.
Nothing happened.
Sweat dripped down her forehead. Rell tried rubbing her face on her sleeve while still holding up her arms, but she couldn't quite reach without dousing the fire.
Torsten dropped his arms to his sides, his shoulders hunched. "Rell, they don't want us to die. If your mission is simply to stop us from finding the Key, we'll leave. We'll go aboveground and never return. You can live down here in peace."
It was what she wanted. Finally, they were listening. All they had to do was agree to leave.
"Please, Rell." Leila's voice wavered. "Let us go. I don't want to die like this." Tears streamed down her cheeks, falling onto the rocky ground.
"Do you believe in the gods?" Rell asked her, truly curious. She'd only discussed it with Torsten. Maybe some of the others had faith.
"I want to say yes so much," Leila said. "But I honestly don't know. I've never been exposed to your gods. To me, they were mythology. I never stopped to think about whether or not they're real. I swear, though, if you let us live, I will learn more about your gods. I'll be open to believing." Leila scooted closer to Andessa. The two held on to each other with trembling hands.
Rell wanted to believe Leila. Torsten's sister had been kind since the moment they met. True, she'd picked on her brother, but Rell could see the love between them. Leila didn't seem to be a liar. Perhaps she could be taught, even if Torsten couldn't.
"I'll let you go if you leave Leila here with me," Rell said. "Let me teach her."
Torsten swung around, his back to Rell. She strained, but couldn't see if he was talking to his sister. Leila nodded, her eyes wide. She stood and backed away from Andessa.
"No," Andessa and Mellok both said at the same time.
Torsten turned back to Rell. "Okay. Now let us go. Take away the fire." He reached out toward the flames. "Please, Rell."
Rell lowered her hands to her sides, cutting off the flow of power. She and Torsten watched each other. She had so much regret. She had done everything wrong since they met. And she did like him, despite knowing it went against her faith. He was a good man. Honest. Kind.
A blur to the side caught her eye. Rell turned as Torsten yelled, "Mellok, no!"
The large blond barreled toward her. Fear leapt into Rell's throat. Before she could think, she brought up one hand and thrust it toward him.
Flames swallowed Mellok. His feet scrambled for purchase.
Torsten jumped for Mellok, but it was too late.
With arms flailing, Mellok fell toward the edge. It seemed as if the lava burst forward, grabbing him and pulling him backward into the mouth of the volcano, his screams echoing in the dark cavern. Leila scrambled to the edge after him.
Rell gasped as Leila slipped, her feet dancing with death. Torsten reached out, grabbing his sister's arm before she, too, fell into the volcano.
"No!" Leila screeched. "No!"
She wouldn't stop screaming. Rell threw her hands over her ears and backed toward the wall. When the crags nipped at her back, she sank to her feet. She hadn't meant to kill him. Mellok was going to attack her and do gods knew what. She'd set them free with the promise they'd leave. She was only defending herself.
Torsten and Andessa dragged Leila away from the edge of the volcano. They skirted the side of the cavern, avoiding Rell as they left. And she let them leave. She'd lost Torsten on the ship. Now she'd lost Leila and Andessa. And Mellok... Rell hadn't liked him, but it was a horrible way to die. She never would have wished it on him.
The lava would eat his limbs as it flowed into his throat, choking him. She'd seen it too many times. She knew how the victim would try to scream, but instead of getting out a sound, they would only swallow more of the scorching lava. Then they would burn from both inside and outside.
Rell drew in a shuddering breath, even though it felt as if her ribs were breaking. She had never intended to kill any of them. She'd only meant to threaten them. To make them see how powerful she was. To trick them into leaving. And it had almost worked.
Mellok had caught her by surprise. She'd lost control, just like the other night. The one she'd tried so hard to forget.
Rell's body shook, wracked with the soul-crushing weight of guilt.
She'd killed once before. It, too, was an accident. One she'd never forget. She knew she deserved punishment. Instead it was hidden from the others, and the next day she began serving the Menelewen Dored, following their orders with the other acolytes.
She'd been given her own pod, leaving her mother. In one night the woman had lost her husband and her daughter. All because Rell couldn't control the power lurking inside.
After her father had taken her outside to see the stars, someone had caught them in the tunnels. They shouldn't have been out of their chamber. They should have been asleep long ago. No one was allowed to wander at night. No one was allowed aboveground unless they were sent on a mission.
Her father had violated the rules for her. Because she had begged him to. She wanted to see the stars, just once. He could never say no to her.
The guard grabbed her father's arm, dragging them down the tunnel. Rell cowered in his arms, crying, scared of what would happen to them.
The man told them her father would be banished. Rell wailed louder. Living life without her father would be torture. Her mother was unfeeling at the best times. At the worst, she showed no emotion. Rell needed her father. She needed his love.
Rell had lifted her head from her father's tear-soaked shoulder. Her glare settled on the guard.
"Leave us alone," she ordered him.
The guard stopped, his gaze focused on Rell. "What did you say?"
“I said, leave us alone!" Though she didn't know why, Rell had lifted a hand toward him. All of her emotion focused into a spear of flame. And she wanted to throw it at this guard.
"Rell, no!" Her father swung her around at same moment her invisible spear flew.
Instead of hitting the guard, it struck her father. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it as her fire cut through his skin, slipped between his ribs, and struck his heart.
Her father staggered backward, hitting the wall. He slid down, Rell still cradled in his arms. He smiled the same sweet smile he reserved only for her. "I love you, my sweet. Never forget." His lips fell on her cheek.
Then they slipped off as he died.
The guard dragged her away from her father's dead body, threatening to kill her if she tried to use her powers on him.
It was the last she saw of her father. Someone must have collected his body and buried him. She'd tried asking her mother, but Rell had quickly been quieted. Those were questions she was not allowed to ask.
From that day on, Rell had only been able to use small magic, such as the ball of flame she'd shown Torsten. No one knew.
But
Rell knew. She wasn't a regular acolyte. She was different from all the others.
She was a killer.
Rell's shoulders rose and fell with each ragged inhalation. It didn't take long before she had calmed down. She looked up, surprised to see Torsten, Leila, and Andessa staring at her. "Why are you still here?"
Torsten squeezed Leila's arm and crept over to Rell, his hands outstretched with his palms up. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know." And she did know it. Despite everything, she knew Torsten wouldn't harm her. He was too good. He was the opposite of her.
"Let us take you home," he said. "Please."
"I killed your friend. You should go before I kill you, too." She tried to look angry, but all she could manage was resignation.
"I know you won't do that. I knew you weren't planning on killing anyone. If Mellok would have kept his head about him—"
"Don't," Rell said. "Never make excuses for what I've done. Your friend didn't deserve to die."
"You didn't deserve him coming after you," Torsten said. "You defended yourself. Just the way you did when I..."
When he kissed her. Rell swallowed a lump in her throat. "I am truly sorry for what happened here. I didn't want it to end like this. I only thought if I could scare you, you'd leave and never come back."
Andessa’s arms were entwined around Leila. Her whole body shook as tears fell from her eyes.
Rell had wanted them to fear her. Now they did.
"Go away," Rell ordered Torsten.
"Not unless you come with us." He stood firm, his hand held out to her. "I know you won't take my hand. It's just a gesture. I won't force you into doing anything that goes against your faith. I don't have to believe to respect it and you."
Rell didn't respond. If she ignored him long enough, he would go away.
Torsten squatted, now eye-level with her. "Come with us," he said again.
"I can't." Rell tried backing farther away, but the jagged wall was already cutting into the leather and nicking her skin.
"I'm getting Leila out of here," Andessa said. "We're going back to the church. We'll wait for you there, Torsten."
The two girls limped out of the cavern. Leila looked over her shoulder one more time at Rell, with a look Rell couldn't decipher. Was it anger? Pity? Regret?
After they were alone, Torsten sat next to Rell. Close, but not touching her. "I'll stay until you're ready."
Rell knew she would never be ready. They two of them would die down here, their decomposing bodies discovered the next time the Menelewen Dored made a sacrifice.
"Is this because I wouldn't kiss you?" Torsten asked softly. "I didn't think it was the right time. I wanted to make sure we were ready to be open with each other. You had been talking about your religion, and I knew we sat on opposing sides. It's not that I didn't want to kiss you..."
"Damn it, Torsten!" Rell sprang up, angry. "Not everything is about kissing!"
He stood, stretching out his legs. "And not everything is about your faith. If I can respect you and what you believe, why can't you respect me, too?"
Rell opened her mouth, then closed it. He wouldn't ever understand. Without her faith, she was nothing. Just a murderer. There would be no atonement.
"I thought the gods had thrust us together. I thought they had something planned for us," Rell said weakly.
"I don't want you if you only want me because you think the gods are telling you to." Torsten held up a hand. He looked down at her hand and nodded.
Slowly, Rell lifted hers up, her palm facing his. Not touching.
"If you ever decide you want to get to know me, in that way, tell me. But only if it's because you want it, Rell. Just the way I said I wouldn't try to kiss you unless you wanted me to. Not because of the gods. You. Just you." Torsten touched his fingertips to hers, then dropped his hand to his side. "I'll be up in the church. We'll wait until morning. I hope you'll come."
Torsten turned and left the cavern.
Rell wanted to follow him, but she couldn't. Instead she went to the edge of the volcano. Peering down, she saw nothing but churning lava. "I'm sorry, Mellok. I am truly sorry. It was an accident."
Tears slid down her cheeks and fell into the hot liquid. It swallowed her forgiveness, delivering it to Mellok in the afterlife. With her eyes closed, she could almost see him standing with her father.
Both angry and unforgiving. Both waiting for her to fail again.
The lava bubbled, bursting forth briefly and falling back again. Just as it had right before Mellok had plunged into its fiery depths. Almost as if something inside the volcano had assisted in his murder.
Chapter Twenty-One
Weary, Torsten emerged in the dark church. The heavy, even rhythm of breathing during sleep caught his ear. Good. At least Leila had been able to fall asleep.
It gave Torsten more time to decide what to tell her, if anything. Their mother was alive but obviously wanted nothing to do with him. It was possible Andessa and Mellok’s parents had been up on the spaceship, too. He hadn’t even had the chance to tell Mellok before he died. Rell was dead inside, unable to let herself love anyone without permission from her gods. After all they'd seen, Torsten didn't even know how she could still believe in them. The gods hadn't saved them from being killed in the tunnels. Dragzhi portal tech had.
Torsten would never understand how Rell was able to twist reality and find religious meaning in it. If only she could see what was in front of her. The control the Menelewen Dored had over her life. The dragzhi ship. Torsten's faith in her.
As long as she blinded herself, he couldn't get through to her. Giving up wasn't in his nature, but Torsten knew when a battle was over. He’d walked away, leaving Rell by the volcano. He'd told her where he would be... but he didn't expect her to come.
In the morning, he, Leila, and Andessa would venture out to Hadar to look for survivors. If they couldn't hide underground, they would face whatever waited for them outside.
Torsten had one final hope. If they were captured by the dragzhi, perhaps his mother could free them. If she had been freely living on one of their ships, maybe she would help her children.
Torsten's emptiness consumed him as he staggered to the closest pew. He lay down, his arm cradling his head on the wooden bench, weariness blanketing him.
***
Torsten sat up with a start, rubbing his eyes with the back of his fist. He glanced toward the stairs, as if he expected to see Rell there. She wasn't.
Sighing, Torsten stood and looked around the church. Leila and Andessa each slept on a pew, their cloaks draped over their prone bodies.
He ambled over to the double doors in the back of the church. With a gentle tug, he opened one just a crack. Torsten peered outside. The sand whirled close to the ground. The wind had died down enough he could see Hadar in the distance.
Smoke continued to rise from the ruins. Buildings that had stood five or six stories high were now in rubble. Torsten squinted, trying to see across the city to the tower, but the clouds were too low. He didn't know if his military home still stood. The defenders were the only hope against the dragzhi. If they had been defeated, too, Torsten feared the dragzhi would find them eventually and kill them. If they weren't already dead from starvation.
They were marooned in the church, with no hope for rescue.
Torsten closed the door, pushing hard to ensure it latched. At least they had shelter from the sand and the sun within the church walls.
"Tor?" a groggy Leila said.
Torsten strode over to his sister and crouched down. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"I had nightmares about Mellok all night." Leila sat up, rubbing her forehead. "What are we going to do now?"
"We have to see if the tower is still standing. It looks like the city was demolished. The tower is our only hope of survival. The military has weapons. Barricades. Access to the ships." Torsten sank down to the floor, his head resting in his hands. "The ships. They've probably alrea
dy left. That would explain the exploding dragzhi ship."
"What are you talking about?" Andessa sat up fluffing out her short, dark curls. "We've either been underground or holed up in this church. How would you know if a ship exploded?"
"It was before Rell and I came back to the church. When we found you here. Before she promised..." He didn't finish. There was no need to. They knew what came next. Torsten's blind trust in her which lead to Mellok's death.
None of it should have happened that way. If only they could have put aside their differences and worked together. Then maybe the five of them would still be together, and closer to a solution.
Instead, Torsten, Andessa, and Leila were on their own. Perhaps permanently. If the dragzhi had wiped out Hadar, maybe they were all that was left of humanity. Except the buried. They were still underground, hiding.
"We can't do this alone," Torsten said, turning back to his sister and Andessa.
"No!" Andessa leapt to her feet, pointing at the floor with an angry finger. "If you think for one moment I am going back down there, you're crazy. The tunnels almost collapsed once. Then Rell tried to kill us."
"I think she was just trying to scare us,” Torsten said with a drawn-out sigh.
"You have a soft spot for lost causes.” Andessa shot him an angry look. “At some point, you need to realize not everyone can be rehabilitated. Rell is crazy. Maybe she thought she wanted to scare us, but we saw what happened. She used her fire to force Mellok into the volcano. She killed him." Andessa stalked away.
Torsten sat on a bench, his fingers tangled in his hair. "I don't know what to do. If we go out there, we'll probably be killed. Underground doesn't seem much safer. We can't stay here, either. There's no food or water." He looked up at his little sister. Torsten had fought to protect her since the day their parents died—or left them—and he didn't know how to save her now. He also didn’t want to tell her he’d seen their mother on the dragzhi ship. Until he knew more, he wouldn’t upset Leila.
