Meredith already knew how she felt. Love had made her stay away from Gray while Oscar was sick. And love had made it impossible to go without seeing him during that spell, so she’d resorted to FaceTiming him as much as she could. Love, she knew, had saved her from Jamie’s attack, and love had kept her from choosing any other place but his until she and Brooke could move in together.
Did his words mean he felt the same?
She heard the kitchen door open and close again, and a moment later, a soft rapping sounded against the bathroom door.
“Meredith? May I come in?”
She’d drawn the curtain, leaving a gap of several inches, so she could still peek out into the bathroom. If he came in, he’d be able to see her face and little else. Not that Gray seeing her would be such a bad thing…
“Yes, come in.”
The door opened, and his eyes found hers. “How are you feeling?” The blue of his irises glinted in the candlelight, and the way his gaze devoured her made Meredith tremble.
“A lot better. Thank you.”
Gray closed the door behind him and took two steps toward her before sinking to the floor and putting his back against the tub.
“I should leave you alone, but I can’t seem to help myself.”
Sitting in the tub behind him, she was able to admire the soft curling of his dark hair at his nape and the masculine sinews in his neck. She felt a sudden urge to run her tongue along its length. Other than the briefest of kisses and the comfort of his embrace, Gray hadn’t touched her since the attack, and Meredith was beginning to wonder if he ever would.
She picked up the soap and rubbed it against the washcloth to give her hands something to do. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He looked over his shoulder, meeting her eyes again. “I’m glad you’re here… I love having you here.”
There it was. That word again.
“I hope we’re not too much trouble,” she said honestly. “I feel like I’ve brought you nothing but drama.”
“What?” he eyed her with genuine surprise. “You’ve brought me nothing but happiness.”
Considering the last few days, it was almost impossible to believe, but the look he wore was bare and true. It was such a beautiful look that Meredith drew her left hand out of the water and brushed the back of her fingers to the side of his cheek. She watched him close his eyes as though her touch pained him, and he pressed his lips to the back of her hand before turning away.
“I’d better leave you alone,” he muttered. But before he could rise to his feet, Meredith hooked two fingers along the back of his collar.
“Or… you could stay.”
Gray glanced back at her, half-stunned. Then his eyes blazed. He got to his knees and faced her, and Meredith expected that he’d remove that chambray button-down, strip out of his jeans and whatever he wore underneath, and join her in the tub.
Instead, he pushed aside the curtain, leaned over her, and captured her lips with his. One hand dove behind her head, cupping her gently, and the other found hers that held the bar of soap. A moment later, he broke the kiss, leaving them both panting.
“If I get to stay,” he said, wearing a wolfish grin, “let me help with this.”
Meredith’s cheeks flamed as her sense of modesty walked in with a tardy slip. The soap had turned the bath water milky, and in the faint light of the candle, everything beneath the water’s surface lay in shadow. But she folded her arms across her breasts before she nodded.
Gray set the soap and washcloth on the edge of the tub and unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeves. “You have no idea how absolutely stunning you are,” he said, rolling up his sleeves with measured calm. “I’d write about your beauty, but I don’t want to share it. I want it all for myself.”
Meredith shut her eyes, his words overwhelming her. “Gray…” she pleaded.
“It’s dark in here, and I can still see you blushing,” he whispered gently. “Don’t be embarrassed.”
She heard a small splash and felt his hand close around her ankle, and she opened her eyes to see him lift her left foot from the water. With his other hand, he wrapped it in the sudsy washcloth and bathed her foot with the gentlest strokes.
A sigh left her lungs at the exquisite sensation. As he moved between each of her toes, her whole body went limp, and she whimpered in surrender. He squeezed her heel and massaged her calf, slipping the bar of soap behind her knee and around her thigh, causing her breath to go shallow before he moved back down and picked up her right foot.
The only thing that was better than his touch was the look on his face as he bathed her. It was the look of a man completely enraptured, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him down on top of her and show him how much she loved him.
Half expecting him to keep working up her body when he reached the top of her right thigh, Meredith was surprised when he slipped an arm behind her shoulders. “Sit forward, my love,” he said, so she bent her knees and folded over them. When he rubbed the soapy cloth over her back, Meredith whimpered again. She crossed her arms over her knees and rested her cheek against them, letting her breasts press into her thighs. The sensation as he massaged her back felt so amazing, Meredith was tempted to close her eyes, but then she wouldn’t be able to watch him, and watching him as he tended to her was the most erotic experience of her life.
His fingers came to her shoulders and the base of her neck, and she couldn’t help the little moan that escaped her. The muffled choking sound Gray made then and the way his Adam’s apple bobbed in this throat suggested that he, too, was drowning in desire.
As Gray gently scrubbed over her left shoulder and down her arm to where her chin rested, their eyes met. The wonder she saw in them mirrored her own, and neither looked away when he traced the bar of soap around her waist. They moved as one when his right hand cupped the back of her neck again, and she lay back until she rested in the crook of his arm. He skated the soap over her chest, and then she heard the square of soap splash into the water just as his hand closed over her right breast.
Her gasp tore through the room right before Gray caught it with his kiss.
She gripped the front of his shirt with one hand and snaked the other through his hair as he caressed her now swollen breasts. First one and then the other, his masculine touch driving her wild as his tongue drove deep with urgent kisses.
He kept kissing her even as he released her breast and cupped handfuls of water over her front, still bathing her and washing away the last of the slick soap. She trembled at each warm cascade, aware of nothing but water and Gray.
And then the flat of his palm rested against her belly, still, sure, and strong. He moved his kisses down her chin and jaw until he nuzzled her neck, and again the choppy sounds of her breath echoed in the bath.
Gray pulled back until he was looking into her eyes again, and he waited until her focus cleared and they were locked on each other before he let his hand move down an inch. She watched his eyes travel down her body before they came back to hers, a silent but unmistakable question.
Meredith realized then that Gray always asked permission. As passionate as he was, he was patient, too, and the combination of ardor and respect made her love him all the more. A smile that came from her soul overtook her face, and she watched its twin claim his, and in answer to his silent question, Meredith rolled her hips.
And all coherent thought fled when his fingers slipped under the water.
“Oh, Meredith…” he whispered, as he discovered her.
Meredith, herself, was speechless, her neck arching back under the sorcery of his touch, her eyes falling closed. He was gentle at first in exploration of her, but when she gripped the back of his hair in her fist, Gray brought his mouth to hers again with a ravenous growl, and they both lost control.
He planted first one, then two fingers inside her, his thumb commanding all of her pleasure, and, within seconds, ripples in the bath water around her became ripples within her body, within her soul,
and she cried out his name.
As though this were her own incantation, commanding him to move with brute force, Gray hauled her out of the tub and into his lap, soaking himself and the entire floor in the process. Still locked to her kiss, he yanked down a towel from the counter and threw it haphazardly around her body. Meredith’s legs were of no use to her; in fact, her limbs felt like lead — lead saturated in euphoria — so she just clung to him as he wrapped the towel around her, lifted her in his arm for two long strides, and fell with her into his bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
GRAY HADN’T PLANNED to seduce her. He’d wanted only to take care of her and give her a chance to rest. But once he knew she was naked in his bathroom, he found it impossible to leave her alone, and, like a brute, he’d barged in. Just to talk to her, he’d told himself.
What a liar he was.
But then she’d reached for him, inviting him to stay. And as it turned out, touching Meredith like that was better than any drug he’d ever tried — prescription or otherwise. He knew no pain as he bathed her silken body. And when she’d come apart under his touch, he felt like the greatest man alive.
As they collapsed onto his bed, Gray gave thanks that the afternoon sun still shone through his windows. He wouldn’t have traded the candlelit intimacy of his bathroom for anything, but now he could explore all of her radiance.
If he could stop kissing her…
Which, apparently, he could not. And nor, he noted with elation, could she.
She lay beneath him and traced her tongue down the side of his neck, maddening him. Wanting her to know this unparalleled pleasure, Gray followed suit and tasted the skin of her neck. He smiled as he kissed his way down to her shoulder and discovered the faintest dusting of freckles, just like the ones scattered across her nose.
“What are you smiling at?” she asked, her voice husky with pleasure.
“Thank God for sunlight,” he muttered, letting her in on his thoughts as his mouth paid special attention to her left shoulder. When she shivered beneath him, he knew she was enjoying it as much as he did.
“Hmm?” she asked, sounding half dazed. His smile grew.
“The sun that left me these delicious freckles is the very same that is helping me to find them.”
She giggled against his neck, and his toes curled. Meredith felt incredible. Her hands then moved from behind his neck to his collar as she began to attack the buttons of his soaked shirt.
“I’m glad I can see you,” she said, gazing up at him. “But I’m not such a fan of the sunlight.”
The work of her fingers at his chest had his breath going shallow, and he rolled on his side to give her room.
“Why not?” he said, taking the opportunity to kiss her right shoulder.
She reached for the towel and tugged it higher before coming back to his buttons. When she didn’t answer, he brought his eyes to her face and saw her telltale blush. Her eyes met his for a second before she conquered the last of his buttons and peeled back the shirt from his shoulders.
“I have stretch marks,” she whispered, almost inaudibly.
“What?” Gray freed himself from his shirt as fast as he could and wrapped her up in his arms.
“I’m a nineteen-year-old with stretch marks.”
“I heard that part,” Gray said, squeezing her tight. “I just can’t imagine that you don’t get how unbelievably beautiful you are.”
He said all this while looking into her river bed eyes, and she responded by biting her lip.
“Oh holy hell,” he swore. “You don’t get it.”
She hesitated a moment. “Jamie used to call me Spider Woman because they look like webs.”
Gray rolled back on top of her, capturing her hands in his. “I should horsewhip him for that alone.”
He watched her eyes, hoping she’d smile. When she didn’t, Gray pressed his palms against hers and interlaced their fingers.
“I will give back everything,” he vowed. How he managed to master the rage in his tone, Gray didn’t know. “Everything anyone’s ever taken from you, I want to restore.” Others had dared to take her shelter. Her security. Her body. Her beauty.
He’d see those all returned, and he’d throw his heart into the bargain.
“Gray,” she whispered, her eyes welling.
He shook his head and kissed her hard before pulling back. “But I can’t let you cry,” he said, raising a brow. “Not when I’m trying to make love to you.”
This time, he got the smile. And the laugh.
Making Meredith laugh on any given day had become one of his chief joys. Making her laugh in his bed while she wore only a towel was damn near electrifying.
“You are so beautiful.” The freedom to say those words drenched him in bliss, but he wanted her to believe them. “All over… Here…” He kissed her lips. “…here…” He kissed her neck. “…here…” He kissed the tempting valley at the top of her cleavage. Her chest quaked under his lips.
Then, moving onto his side so he wouldn’t crush her, Gray released one of her hands and reached for the top of her towel. He traced a finger lazily along its edge, staring into her eyes and waiting. And he could wait like this forever, skating the tip of his finger over the swell of her breasts.
But then, his patience was rewarded when Meredith lay her hand over his and, together, they pushed the towel aside.
He sucked her right nipple into his mouth.
“Oh, Gray…”
He didn’t know which was sweeter, the way she gasped his name or the delicate flesh against his tongue. He suckled, letting his hands run along her ribs, down the sides of her waist, and up under her back. She arched against him, clinging to his shoulders before moving her hands up his neck.
Her fingers curled in his hair, and Gray moaned around her breast as pleasure rolled through him. When his mouth claimed her left breast and Meredith’s hips bucked beneath him, Gray had to force himself to breathe in measured lungfuls or he’d spend himself like a boy of fourteen.
“Beautiful here.” He panted as he moved down her belly, smooth and soft, the feminine swell a place he’d never choose to leave. The silvery translucence that laced the skin just above her bikini line was like the mark of the stars, proof she’d given life.
“So beautiful,” Gray said, worshipping her. As his tongue gloried over such delicate marks, Gray found himself thinking that if he were very, very lucky, she might one day wear his own.
The thought had him praying for such a sweet future. But when he found the peach of her sex, all notions of future and past fled. He claimed the present in the taste of her desire.
“Oh, God! No one’s—” A cry shattered her words, but he’d heard enough. No one had given her the love she deserved. No one before him. Whether he lived another week or a hundred years, he’d give her everything. And in giving her everything, she’d be his.
Mine.
His savage growl followed another cry, and her thighs tightened under his hands. He marveled at how their intimacy revealed the heart of her. In the throes of love, she was completely herself. Honest. Real. And so rare. He loved Meredith like he’d never loved anyone. And he couldn’t help but love her because she held nothing back, sharing all she had. All she was. Even in this moment, she didn’t try to hide the depth of her desire.
Gray always knew where he stood with her, and yet she was full of surprises. The combination intoxicated him.
But the discovery of her passion was more than surprising, more than intoxicating. It was perilous because it rattled his control. He wanted to bring her over the edge again and again.
“Gray.” She pulled at his hair, tugging him up. “Please… You… I want you…”
He shot up like an arrow, and he found her hands fighting his own to open his fly. A moment later, Gray’s jeans and boxers hit the floor, and their bodies met skin to skin. Meredith’s legs latched around him, and Gray had to fight the urge to dive into her without another thought. But something
in his brain still worked, and he pushed up and reached for his bedside table drawer.
After frantic rummaging and cursing under his breath, Gray produced a condom, but the kisses Meredith now planted across his chest made it almost impossible for him to put it on. Her soft lips on his skin sent chills down his back and his blood rushing south, but he managed the task.
“You feel so good,” he murmured.
When he was as close as he could be without being inside her, Meredith reached up and took his face in her hands. Their eyes locked, and Gray found himself transfixed. She gazed up at him with a look that reached inside of his chest and blanketed his heart. It was a look that couldn’t be called anything but love, and it both thrilled and terrified him.
Could she love him?
In that moment, Gray understood that he wanted her love more than anything. But wouldn’t it be cosmically unfair to ask for it if he couldn’t even guarantee her a month of his life? And if the tables were turned, and he had to watch her skate so close to death…
The thought grabbed him by the throat, and the urgency to become one with her grew a hundredfold. At once, fairness or unfairness no longer factored. The words had been fighting to leave his mouth for days, and now he had to speak them.
“I love you.”
Her eyes flared, and for the briefest of moments, Gray wondered if he’d made a terrible mistake. He’d told her, and she lay trapped beneath him, their bodies on the very edge. What if it was a step too far? What if she wanted to—
“Gray, I love you, t—”
His relief-soaked joy was so great he couldn’t let her finish. Gray’s lips crushed against hers, and, with the tilt of her hips, she welcomed him. In a flash of something like déjà vu, he entered her like he was made for it. Like he was made for her.
Gray couldn’t really claim to be a man of faith, but his time at Loyola had taught him to seek the divine in all things. And as he moved deep inside her and thrilled at the rasp of her breath and the clench of her thighs, he thanked the holy design and grace six billion years in the making that led him to this moment. Whatever happened to him — live or die — she knew his heart belonged to her, and as far as Gray was concerned, there was no better place for it to be — in this world or any other.
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