by K. C. Lynn
“Don’t cry, Cupcake,” he whispers, his voice sounding as sad as I feel.
It only makes me cry harder. “I’m so sorry I’m hurtin’ y’all.”
“You’re not hurting us. The whole situation fucking sucks, for you and Lucy, but it’s not on you, Grace. It’s not your fault.”
I turn over to face him, his hand now moving to my back as I stare up at him. I cup his strong jaw; his green eyes that I love so much are dark with pain. “Sawyer,” I whisper through my tears. “If something happens, I want you to—”
His hand slams down over my mouth. “Don’t!” he grinds out, his jaw locked down. “Don’t fucking say that. Nothing’s going to happen to you.” His breaths come out short and fast, each one sounding painful. “It can’t because I can’t fucking survive without you. You hear me?”
The desperation in his voice has me nodding. I swallow back my emotion, seeing how much he needs me. Removing his hand, he replaces it with his mouth, his kiss exploding through me and warming every cold, fearful place inside of me.
My hands move to his shirt, pulling it up his body. “I need you,” I plead against his lips. As he sits up to remove his shirt, I lose mine, and soon the rest of our clothes follow.
I suck in a sharp breath the moment he moves over me, his skin meeting mine, sending electricity through every nerve ending of my body.
Always. It’s always like this.
After pressing a long kiss to my forehead, his intense eyes hold mine as he enters me in one smooth motion, completing me—body and soul.
“I love you so much,” I cry, unable to stop myself.
“I love you too, baby,” he says, his voice sounding as rough as sandpaper. He drops his forehead on mine. “Promise you’ll come back to me.”
“I promise,” I whisper, unable to deny him, and pray that I can keep that promise.
Reaching for my hand, his fingers link with mine before moving it above my head, holding on tight as his body moves inside of me with absolute perfection.
A single tear escapes him, spilling onto my face and mixing with my own as he stares down at me. Wrapping my arms around him, I hide my face in his neck and cling to him with everything I am.
Every touch, every breath, and every kiss is achingly beautiful as he makes love to me like never before.
He makes love to me as if it will be the last time.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sawyer
I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life. I’ve voluntarily walked into a war zone. Slept in some of the worst places imaginable. I’ve been chained up like an animal, whipped and beaten within an inch of my life.
I’ve kissed death a thousand times.
But as I sit here in the hospital waiting room, knowing someone is slicing into my wife, I’ve never felt more fucking terrified in all my life.
There’s a silent terror locked inside of my chest, making it impossible to breathe. It claws its way through my insides and tries working up my throat.
I feel like I’m going to be sick.
I swore to my kids this morning that everything was going to be okay. I swore to Grace that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and I have yet to ever break a promise. I went as far as threatening serious harm if my wife didn’t come back to me.
Unfortunately, the rest is out of my control, and I’ve never felt more fucking helpless.
I sit with my head down, elbows resting on my knees. My hands shake and palms sweat. Piper, Barbara, and dickhead sit across from me. Other than a simple hi to the mom and Piper, I’ve ignored them. Mainly because I’m worried I’ll unleash all of this pent-up rage on the asshole next to them.
I’m so caught up in my head that I don’t register the sound of several footsteps until they’re standing in the same room as me.
“Want some company?”
My head snaps up at the sound of Kayla’s voice, and I get to my feet when I see the waiting room filled with my closest friends—family. Everyone from Kayla and Cooper, Julia and Jaxson, Cade and Faith, Nick and Katelyn…even Sarge and Mac are here.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask, hating how gruff my voice sounds.
Jaxson walks over, clapping me on the shoulder. “We’ve lived through hell together once already, we weren’t about to make you live through it again alone.”
The fucker makes me want to cry like a pussy.
Cade clasps my hand, clapping me on the back. No words needed.
Cooper follows after him.
“How are you holding up?” Julia asks, hugging me around the waist.
“Other than wanting to beat the shit out of something, not bad,” I lie.
“Well, I could go find Dr. Sissy for you,” Kayla offers. “You could beat the shit out of him and I could kick his wife’s ass. That would be fun, and a good way to release all this aggression.”
The girls snicker while Cooper looks over at her, unimpressed.
She shrugs. “It was just a suggestion.”
Probably more for her benefit than mine. She’s been dying to lay into Jenny for years. It still shocks the hell out of me that those two married, and they’re both as pathetic as their marriage.
Glancing over, I see Barbara and Piper staring at everyone and decide to introduce them, knowing Grace would want me to. “Guys, this is Barbara Weston and her daughter Piper.” I don’t need to state more than that since they know who they are.
Jaxson and Julia introduce themselves first then everyone else follows suit. Even though I didn’t introduce them to Weston, the girls say hi to him anyway.
“And I’m Mac, Grace’s father,” he says, chest puffed out as he glares at Weston.
After introductions, everyone finds a seat while we settle in for a long ass wait.
“Did they say how long?” Cade asks.
“Too fucking long,” I mutter.
Faith wraps her arms around my one, offering comfort. “Everything will be okay.”
I nod, even though I don’t have much faith at the moment. The whole situation sucks and it’s not just my wife I’m concerned about. I want Lucy coming out in better shape than how she went in, too.
Minutes turn into hours and hours turn into excruciating pain. Fear eats at me from the inside out as I get the feeling something is wrong.
I begin pacing again for the millionth time. “What the fuck is taking so long? I swear to god, if both of them don’t come out of this I’m…” I trail off at the sound of footsteps and turn around to see Dr. Schaefer walking toward us, decked out in scrubs, sweat dotting her forehead beneath her sky blue cap.
The Westons jump to their feet as she approaches. My heart thunders in my ears, icy terror rushing through my veins as I wait to hear what she’s about to tell me.
She looks between both of us, a small smile—that better be a fucking good one—forming across her mouth. “Everything went very well with both surgeries.”
All of the air leaves my lungs in one breath, my legs threatening to buckle beneath me with relief.
“Thank God.” The girls wrap their arms around my waist while the Westons share in their own celebratory hug.
“Now we wait and hope Lucy’s body does not reject the transplant. We have already started doing everything in our power to prevent that from happening.”
“Where’s Grace? I want to see her,” I demand. I can’t be away from her for another second. I need to see for myself that she’s all right.
Dr. Schaefer nods. “She’s slowly coming to in the recovery room now. I’ll bring you to her,” she says before looking at the Westons. “Give Lucy a few more minutes. I’ll come and get you as soon as we get her settled.”
“Thank you,” Barbara says.
As I look to the group, Julia waves me away. “Go on, let us know once she’s settled in a room and we can pop in quick to see her.”
With a nod I begin to follow Dr. Schaefer when Piper calls out to me. I turn around to see her walking up to me.
She surpr
ises me by wrapping her arms around my waist. “Thank you again,” she whispers. “Please tell Grace I’ll be in to see her as soon as she can have visitors.”
I hug her back. “I will, you tell Lucy the same for me.”
She nods against my chest then steps back, leaving tear marks on my shirt.
I follow Dr. Schaefer, my legs not moving fast enough.
“She may be a little disoriented still since she’s just coming to, so be prepared for that. Usually, we would have no visitors until we move her into a room. However, I have a feeling had I said that to you my day wouldn’t have ended on a good note,” she adds with a small smile.
I grunt. “Smart move, Doc.”
She chuckles, not offended in the least, and leads me through a set of double doors marked ‘hospital staff only’ before taking me down the hall to a room on the right. She stands outside the open door and gestures for me to walk in first.
As soon as I enter, I come to an abrupt halt at the sight before me. My Cupcake, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines with tubes coming out of her. A nurse is beside her, monitoring her vitals.
The surgery may have gone well but she looks…sick—weak—and I don’t fucking like it.
Dr. Schaefer puts a hand on my back. “Go on. She’s fine. Like I said, she’s just coming around.”
At the sound of her voice Grace slowly looks over at me, her beautiful, warm eyes tired as the softest smile curves her lips. “Sawyer,” she whispers, so low I barely hear her. She turns her palm up where it lays on her lap.
With a painful breath I walk over and sit down next to her bed. Taking her cold hand with the IV in it, I clasp it between my own and bring it to my mouth.
“Hey, Cupcake,” I finally manage to say, the words thick as they work their way past the burn in my throat.
“Lucy?” she croaks, her eyes falling closed before forcing them back open.
“Lucy’s good. Dr. Schaefer says everything went well. Piper said to say hi and everyone is out in the waiting room, the whole group. They came and waited with me.”
“Hmmm, that’s so nice,” she muses softly. Her fingers move against my lips, her eyes never leaving mine. “Thank you.”
Another excruciating breath leaves me, my eyes starting to burn as much as my throat. “I didn’t do shit, baby, but you’re welcome.”
Her weak smile spreads, yet she’s too tired to say more.
Standing, I lean over and kiss her lips, resting my forehead on hers. “You did so good, Grace. Everything’s going to be okay, and it’s all because of you.”
I feel like shit when a sudden wetness leaks from my eyes onto her face.
“Love you,” she whispers, her lips barely brushing mine.
“Love you, too, Cupcake. Always.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Grace
A week later I’m being discharged and I’ve never been so happy to be going home. I hate that I’ll be leavin’ Lucy here, since her road to recovery is a lot longer than mine, but so far it’s looking hopeful for her and that’s what’s most important.
Sawyer hasn’t left my side once. He’s even slept here, and I know he must be missin’ the kids as much as I am. Even though they have come to see us every day, it’s not the same.
I’ve been so blessed with all my friends and family over the past few days. Not only have they been so supportive in coming to see me, but also with helpin’ out with all of the things I can’t do at the moment, especially the bakery. Something I miss desperately. I can’t wait for the day to get the all clear to work again. However, Sawyer has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want me to pull as many shifts anymore and wants me to hire more help. He doesn’t want me risking my health and getting run down. I know he’s still worried but hopefully, as time goes on and once I’m fully healed, he’ll see that everything will be okay.
As if my thoughts conjured him, Sawyer walks into my room, pushing a wheelchair. Closing the door he holds up a hand, clutching an unopened bag of the crackers I’ve enjoyed eating this last week whenever I felt nauseous.
A sexy grin curves his lips. “Look what I snagged when I walked by the snack room.”
“Sawyer, you can’t take those. That’s stealin’.”
“No, it’s not. It’s open to the public.”
“It’s open for patients. I’m not a patient any longer. You’re not allowed to take them home.”
“Fuck that. This hospital has gotten a shit-ton of my money. I’ve more than paid for these crackers. So if I want to swipe my Cupcake’s favorite crackers I’m fucking going to.”
I gape at him before a painful laugh explodes past my lips. Clutching my side, I moan. “Stop, don’t make me laugh.”
All of his amusement vanishes. “Shit, sorry.” He rushes over and kneels down in front of me where I sit on the edge of the bed. His hands slip under my sundress, stroking the tops of my thighs. “When’s the last time you had something for pain?”
“Not since early this mornin’. I’ve been trying to hold off, because I don’t want to be sleepy when we get home so I can spend time with the kids. But I think it may be inevitable.”
“Baby, you’ll have all the time in the world with the kids. Worry about yourself. I don’t want you in pain,” he says, dropping a kiss on my bare thigh.
Reaching out, I stroke his cheek with my hand. “Know what would make it feel better?”
“What?”
“If you kissed me.”
With a growl he stands and does exactly that. He seals his mouth over mine, sending heat to explode through every part of my body, especially my heart.
“I can’t wait until I can do more than kiss you,” he groans, pulling back reluctantly.
“Me, too.”
He presses his lips to my forehead. “Come on, Cupcake. Let’s go home.”
Home.
The most beautiful place on earth because of the people it’s filled with.
“I wanna stop and see Lucy before we go,” I say, slipping off the bed and into the wheelchair.
“Yeah, I’ll take you there, but first this.” He hands me a pain pill with a glass of water, which I accept since I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable. Just as he takes the glass from me, someone knocks on the door.
I frown, wondering who it could be since all of the discharge papers have been signed. “Come in,” I call out.
When the knob turns, the last person I expected to see walks through the door—my father. I haven’t seen him other than when I was first moved to my room and he came with Barbara.
“Hi, Grace.” He nods, looking uncomfortable.
“What do you want?” Sawyer asks tightly, the room seeming to drop in temperature with the icy disdain in his voice.
My father clears his throat. “I was hoping I could speak with Grace for a moment.”
My heart kicks up nervously, having an idea of what he wants to talk about.
“No.”
I put my hand on Sawyer’s arm. “It’s okay. Give us a minute, will you?”
He shakes his head. “No way, I’m not leaving you.”
I sigh, understanding he’s worried, but this is a conversation that’s long overdue and needs to happen, whether I want it to or not. “Just right outside the door. I promise I’ll call you if I need you.” He stares down at me, not budgin’. “Please, Sawyer.”
“Fine,” he relents with a growl. “Right outside the door.” He points.
I nod, biting back a smile. “Right outside the door.”
He drops a swift kiss to my forehead then moves for the door, his hard eyes trained on my father. “You make her shed one fucking tear and I’ll rip you apart.”
“Sawyer,” I hiss in warning.
He spins around, flashing that charming smile on me, his arms spread out. “Just making sure he understands, Cupcake.” With a wink the sexy bugger heads out the door.
My father expels a shaky breath. “That man of yours. He’s…” He pauses, trying to find the ri
ght word.
“Intense? Protective?” I offer.
“Yes, those are good words to describe him.”
“Those are qualities I love most about him. I was alone for a long time and had nobody to protect me when I needed it most, so it’s nice to have that now.”
Something that looks a lot like guilt flashes in his eyes before they drop to the floor. He nods, and I hear him swallow before bringing his eyes to mine. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”
That’s a major understatement.
“Unfortunately, back when I met your mother I was not strong enough to stand up to my family and their expectations of who they thought my wife should be.”
That comment has my blood heating. “Well, the only one who lost out was you. Because my mother was too good for the likes of you and your family.”
He nods. “Yes, she was, and I’m the first to admit it.”
My eyes narrow as I try to figure out what his deal is.
“I really want a chance to try and fix the mistakes I’ve made, because I know I’ve made a lot. Especially with you.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “Mistakes? Do you have any idea who I had to live with and what I endured because I had no one. Because of your mistakes.”
The pain from my past begins surfacing, setting my chest on fire, and it spreads like wildfire.
“I’m sorry. I know it means nothing now, and if I could change what I’ve done, I would.”
He’s right. It doesn’t mean anything. However, as horrible as what I went through was, I can’t regret how things turned out.
“I wouldn’t change it,” I whisper, surprising him. “My mother and I had a beautiful life. Even though we didn’t have much, we always had each other. Not only that, but if you had stayed there would be no Lucy or Piper, and for that I can’t be sorry. They’ve come to mean an awful lot to me.”
He watches me, something weighing in his eyes that I can’t decipher. I duck my head, feeling uncomfortable now. A long moment of silence stretches between us, and I expect him to walk out the door since that’s what he does best, but he doesn’t.
“I loved her.” My head snaps up and I see his throat bob as he struggles to hold in his emotion. “I know it might be hard for you to believe, but nothing has ever been more true. When she smiled it would make everything in my world that was wrong, right. Her warm, innocent eyes led me to see right down to her beautiful soul. She had the kind of voice that was so soft and genuine it would make me believe in things I didn’t think existed.”
