by Nikki Wild
“Maybe. We’ll see,” I said, hugging her close, and wishing for the millionth time that I could make her better myself.
But I couldn’t.
We were in this together, and so far, there was no end in sight.
The doctor walked in and I knew by the look on his face, he had no new answers for us.
“How are you feeling now, Maddy?” he asked.
“I’m okay, now. The oxygen machine always helps,” she said.
“That’s good,” he nodded, turning to me. “So, Ms. Jayne, all the tests came back the same as they always do. Unfortunately, we still don’t know anything new. Did you notice any new factors that contributed to this latest attack?”
“No, not at all,” I replied. I was beyond frustrated, I was exasperated. I felt helpless, and that was the worst feeling in the world when it came to your child.
“Well, let’s just keep at what we’re doing,” he said. I resisted the urge to yell at him, to tell him he didn’t understand because it wasn’t his daughter that was sick.
“Yeah, right,” I replied. “So, basically, do nothing until it happens again.”
“Unfortunately, until something new happens, yes,” he replied. “I know it’s frustrating, Ms. Jayne. I know this isn’t easy. Unfortunately, it is reality, though. You’re doing great. So are you, Maddy.”
“Thanks, Dr. Taylor,” she said, with a smile. I was amazed at her strength, her ability to smile even in the midst of such frustration. She accepted things so much better than I did. I wanted change. I wanted a cure. And I wanted it right fucking now.
“Of course. Hopefully, I won’t be seeing you anytime soon, okay?” he said, patting Maddy’s arm.
“Let’s hope not!” she exclaimed, hoping off the table. “Can I go get cake now?”
“You sure can,” he said. “Take care of yourself, Maddy.”
“Bye, Dr. Taylor,” I murmured, gathering our things and walking out of the room, holding back tears of frustration and anger.
Maddy slid her tiny hand in mine and we walked through the large hallways of the hospital together. I sighed and smiled down at her.
“I love you, baby,” I said.
“I love you too, Mama,” she smiled up at me, the events of the past few hours seeming to fall away into the past so easily for her.
I had a lot to learn from Maddy.
But most of all - I needed to take care of her.
I’d rushed out of Jesse’s penthouse as if I didn’t have a job I needed to keep. I’d let him get under my skin. I’d weakened and let him too close.
For Maddy’s sake, I had to keep my job… Even if it meant I had to endure him rattling my cage from the inside out.
For Maddy’s sake, I’d do whatever it took to keep our foundation from crumbling beneath our feet, because without that, we had nothing.
But there was more than just motherly duty building inside me. That stupid kiss had woken up a piece of me that I thought was gone forever. For the first time in a long time, it felt like I might not have to face everything alone. Maybe I could tell Jesse my secret… Maybe I could make him understand.
17
JESSE
She was thirty minutes late. For a moment there, I was beginning to think she wasn’t going to show… But she did.
She knocked on the door and shuffled into the room like it was the last place on Earth she wanted to be.
Instead of taking offense to it, I let it motivate me.
That kiss had spoken volumes, and I wasn’t about to let her deny that, to pretend it wasn’t real.
“Sorry I’m late,” she muttered, avoiding my eye. “My car broke down. I had to call a cab.”
“That’s okay, no big deal,” I said, giving her plenty of mental space. I was determined to wear her down, but I was going to do it slowly. Obviously, my quick moves yesterday had backfired. I’d gotten a little ahead of myself.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied, sitting on the couch next to me. “It might be time for a new car. It’s on its last leg. Shall we get started?”
She was acting like nothing had happened yesterday. I played along, for now at least.
“Sure, sure,” I replied.
“Let’s start on the floor,” she said, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from making a joke.
“Okay, sure,” I replied, attempting to stand up. She saw me struggling and rushed to my side, putting my arm around her shoulders and helping me to my feet.
“Here we go,” she said, as she helped me over to the mat she’d placed on the floor. I laid down on it, and she began moving my leg in circles.
“How’s it feel today?” she asked, her voice soft in my empty apartment.
“A little better every day,” I said.
“Good, good,” she replied. “I’m going to do some gentle stretching now.”
She stood over me, my left leg in her hands as she pushed my thigh up towards my body. She rolled my knee in small circles, then moving to bigger ones in a few moments. Silently, I stared up at her, making a mental note of how happy I was that she’d left her hair down again today. I remembered the feel of her curls in my hands yesterday and my cock instantly sprang to life. I reached down, covering it with my hands, hoping to hide it before she noticed.
If she saw it, she pretended she didn’t, which was just as well because I knew if her eyes fell on it, it would just grow more. Never had a woman had this effect on me.
“So you’ve made it this far in your career without any other serious injuries,” she said. “How did you do that?”
“I’ve never been injured on the field. Nobody can touch me, that’s why.”
“So you’re just that good, huh?” she asked.
“Don’t you know? Have you ever watched me play?”
“Nope,” she smiled, and I felt a twinge of disappointment. I wanted her to know how good I was. Football was the one thing I was the very best at. “But I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks, right?”
“Well, I definitely earn every dollar,” I said, laughing. “I’m out there week after week with a dozen of the biggest baddest men on the planet trying to kill me. And every single one of them is fucking good at what they do.”
“And I guess that makes you some kind of hero?” She laughed, stretching my leg into my torso again. She was so close I could smell her, and I inhaled deeply, drinking in the sweet scent of her.
“So, I guess you’re not impressed,” I replied teasingly.
She looked down at me pensively for a moment before replying.
“I’m not here to be impressed, Jesse. You can save that effort for your fans. I’m here to help you heal.”
“Right,” I replied, contemplating my next move. After a few moments, I couldn’t help myself. “So tell me what it takes to get you to go out with me again.”
“What it takes? Well, nothing, because it’s not going to happen.”
“Even for an old friend?”
“You’re not my friend. You’re my client, my patient.”
“I don’t have to be your patient,” I said, shrugging.
Her face fell instantly and she looked down at me in a panic.
“Please don’t,” she said, her voice suddenly high and frantic. “I’m so sorry about yesterday, Jesse. I shouldn’t have slapped you. You caught me off guard.”
“Relax, Maisey, I’m not going anywhere.” The panicked look in her eyes unnerved me. But then I remembered her car had broken down, she probably had lots of other everyday problems and expenses that she was dealing with. Losing me as a patient might have far reaching consequences that I hadn’t even considered.
“Sorry, Maisey,” I said, reaching out and putting my hand on her arm. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, looking away from me.
“And about yesterday,” I began, as she stretched my leg again, bringing her face inches from mine. She looked into my eyes, h
er lips so close to mine I could feel the heat of her sweet breath. “That kiss…”
“Yes?” she murmured softly, as she pulsed my leg towards my body again.
“You can’t just deny what we have together Maisey,” I said, her gaze glued to mine. “I don’t want to be your damn friend or your patient. You didn’t come walking back into my life by accident. You’re here, and this is supposed to happen…”
“You think getting hit by a car was fate?” She said, letting out a little laugh.
“I think I’d step in front of another one if it meant I could spend more time with you…” I replied. She didn’t blink. She stopped breathing. She was just looking at me, her mouth slightly open, begging me to take it again.
I know I said I was going to go slow. But there she was. So fucking close to me. How could I not reach out for her? How could I not touch her? I was human.
I was a fucking man.
I certainly was no idiot, and I knew exactly what that look in her eye meant.
She felt it too. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was drunk on testosterone and adrenaline.
But maybe, just maybe, I was right this time. There was only one way to find out, and if it ended up with me being slapped again, so be it.
I reached up and caressed her cheek gently, cupping my palm and pulling her towards me.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Maisey. Tell me you don’t feel anything. Tell me to stop and I’ll never touch you again,” I whispered, staring into her big beautiful eyes.
She lifted her chin slightly as our lips crashed into each other. She let go of my leg and it drifted to the floor. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me, and to my surprise, she didn’t resist. She didn’t tense up. She melted against me, her body falling on top of mine as our kiss deepened and the world melted away.
18
MAISEY
I gave up. Or, maybe I gave in. Maybe I knew all along I was going to. Maybe the fighting in my head was just so I could say that I tried. That I tried to resist him. That I tried to do the right thing. That I tried to keep my feelings in check, to not let my feelings for him ruin everything.
And I did try.
But it was useless. With one look and just a few words, he obliterated every brick I’d laid between us. With one touch of his lips, all my resistance faded away, all my good intentions succumbed to his charm, to my irresistible desire for him.
His kisses were like a warm, burning light that I couldn’t look away from. He kissed me like he’d done it forever, as if my lips belonged to him, not me. He touched me with such confidence, as if he knew everything my body wanted before I even knew it myself.
Sure, all the while he was kissing me, while his arms wrapped around me, and I let my body rest on his while we moved together like starving lovers, I wrestled with myself. I wrestled with right and wrong, but I’d already done it so much, the arguments were old, outdated, and totally weak in the face of his sweet, sweet assault.
They were no match for his confidence, his dominance, his cockiness that I somehow found so attractive, I wanted to drink it in. If only I had that same strength, maybe I could resist him. But I didn’t. I submitted.
Because there was nothing else for me to do. He knew I was his before I did.
But once I finally gave in? Once I convinced myself it would be alright, that it was just this one time, and then we could move on? We just had to do it once, get it over with, and then that intense attraction would become something we could deny again, become something manageable.
But the force I felt in that moment, pulling me towards him, pushing my body against his? There was no denying it, no turning away from it, no running out on it this time.
He was right… I felt something…
It was otherworldly.
Uncontrollable.
And it hit me with the force of a freight train running right through my body.
His hands were everywhere. The ropey muscles that covered his body pressed against me. His was hard, firm, a perfect mix of rough and tender that tore me apart.
What harm would one time do?
What would just a few moments of untamed lust change?
What damage could be done that hadn’t already done? It was just one time.
One more delicious time.
One time to allow myself to see that it wasn’t so magical. That I’d been remembering him with naive and inexperienced adolescent eyes. This one time would let all those questions go away. I’d finally have the answers I’d been looking for the last ten years.
These are the things I told myself until there wasn’t any more left to say.
He pulled off my top and bra and I was only half aware of them leaving my body. But when his hot hands enveloped my bare breasts, it was the only thing I was conscious of.
“Jesse,” I cried, my lips tearing away from his, my voice thick with lust. I was on fire, my body writhing against his touch. My hands fell over his, pushing his warmth against my heaving breasts. I arched my back towards him, and he leaned forward, pulling himself to sit up as I straddled his waist. We were still on the floor and I pushed my hips forward, grinding into him.
His hands fell away from my body, finding my wrists and pulling them behind my back. I gasped in surprise, my eyes falling open, landing on his.
Nothing prepared me for the look I saw there - hunger, pure, animalistic savage hunger that threatened to rip me to my very core. A low growl escaped from his mouth, and he shook his head slowly.
“Maisey,” he said, his voice a low warning and a demand, all at the same time. “Tell me.”
“Tell you what?” I said, my voice breathy and low as he pulled my hands behind my back tighter, causing my breasts to push forward into his face.
“Say you want this too,” he growled.
“Jesse,” I whispered. “Don’t make me…”
“You left me, Maisey,” he said, his eyes flashing with such emotion it left me breathless. “I was the dumb jock, and you were the smart girl that was too good for me. You ran away. You walked out on me.”
“What? That’s not true, that’s not it, that’s not why…” I protested, shaking my head. What was he talking about? I was so confused. I didn’t want to think about the past, I wanted nothing more than to think about right here, right now, this moment, and this moment only. “Stop, please…”
“I’ve thought about you for years,” he murmured, his eyes searching mine before he captured my mouth in his again. He kissed me hard, deliciously hard, before tearing his mouth away again. “You’re the only woman that ever left me like that, Maise. All these years, I’ve wondered what it was I did to you that was so wrong.”
“Jesse, it wasn’t you…”
“I’ve wondered where you were, who you were with, what you were doing,” he shook his head, peering deeply into my eyes. “Why you didn’t want me…” I tried to look away, I didn’t want to see that I may have caused him pain. I didn’t want to see that in his eyes. But I couldn’t look away. “Whether you were thinking about me…”
He held every ounce of my attention. My body was wound so tightly I was about to explode. My ears were buzzing, my stomach was churning, and I felt like I was going to faint from the blood rushing in my veins. I needed him. Now.
“Jesse, I’m sorry, I —,” I began, but his lips crashed into mine again, eating my words.
His kiss was even quicker this time, before breaking away and staring down at me again.
“I need to hear you say it now, Maisey. Tell me you want me. Tell me you’ve thought about me all these years…” his eyes searched mine frantically. I couldn’t lie. Not now.
“Yes, Jesse,” I whispered, tears springing to my eyes. “Yes, I want you. I’ve always wanted you.” I would have said anything he wanted at that point. Anything to make him happy. To make him do what I so desperately needed from him right now.
But my words didn’t make him smile. His face turned even more serious, and his eyes flashed with determi
nation. He grabbed my wrists again and gently pushed me onto my back and hovered over me, putting all his weight on his good knee. I should have protested. I should have insisted that he let me back on top of him so he didn’t hurt himself.
But I couldn’t protest, and I knew he wouldn’t let me even if I tried.
He pinned my arms over my head, pressing his entire body into mine, his cock pushing against my center, its hardness throbbing against me. I whimpered, pressing back towards him. His lips found mine again, and his tongue explored my mouth hotly, wantonly, with such intense sensuality, that my body was buzzing from his kiss alone.
His fingers reached down, untying the drawstring on the waist of my scrubs. He pushed them over my hips, a low moan escaping from his perfect mouth. His eyes flashed back to mine as he pulled my panties over my hips. I lay naked in front of him, sprawled out on his floor like a hungry harlot, and I’d never felt more alive in my life.
He looked at me like I’d never seen anyone look at me before.
Raw, lustful, aching desire - that’s what I saw there. All directed towards me. I shuddered as he reached down and pushed his shorts off, his cock springing forward. I gasped at the sheer beauty of it. Long, thick and so hard it was throbbing heavily between his legs, I couldn’t help but reach down and grasp him fully in my palm, holding him in my fingers like a prize.
“Now,” I said, pulling him towards me.
But he had other ideas. He grinned crookedly and then shook his head. Slowly, he lowered his body down mine, trailing kisses along my breasts, sucking first one nipple, then the other, into his hot mouth, before planting feathery kisses along my stomach. My hips writhed in anticipation as his hot breath caressed my clit. I opened my thighs, welcoming him, yearning for his touch. His mouth engulfed me, his tongue darting forward, and sliding along my flesh deliciously, so incredibly fucking deliciously that I cried out in ecstasy, my body coming to life beneath his touch.
“Oh, Jesse,” I whimpered, my thighs wrapping around his head, begging for more.
