by Nikki Wild
“He’s the one who gave you the car and sent all the flowers?” she asked. “And Snowflake, too?”
“Yes, baby,” I said.
“I heard him say he was my father,” she said, her little voice quivering. “Is that true?”
My heart was breaking as the reality of all the mistakes I’d made came crashing over me. I looked at her, my sweet trusting daughter, and I felt like the worst person in the world.
“Yes, baby,” I said. “It’s true.” I couldn’t lie anymore. I couldn’t go on with this facade that I didn’t need anyone else, that I could do this all on my own. I’d left Jesse in the living room with Eddie, and I wished so badly that he was here by my side right now.
“Why didn’t he come to see me sooner?” Maddy asked. I could hear the pain in her voice and it broke my heart in two. “Why did he leave us alone for so long?”
“It’s my fault, baby,” I said, trying to figure out how to explain it all to her. “I never told him about you. He didn’t know to come see you.”
She blinked, my words sinking in slowly.
“But, why?” she finally asked.
“I was wrong, Maddy, I —,” I began, trying not to stutter over my words, trying to frantically search my brain for the right words.
“He didn’t even know I existed?” she asked, her voice rising.
“No, baby,” I replied, shame filling my heart. “I”m so sorry.” I’d betrayed her. I’d betrayed Jesse. Tears fell down my face and I hung my head in my hands.
I didn’t see her stand up. I didn’t see her walk towards the sliding glass door.
I was too busy feeling sorry for myself like a fool.
I finally raised my head, and saw I was alone in the room with Snowflake, the light from the television flickering over the two of us.
“Maddy!” I called, springing to my feet. I ran out into the backyard, and saw a glimpse of her hair as she jumped the fence. “Maddy! No! Wait!!”
41
JESSE
Eddie and I heard Maisey’s scream and we ran down the hall together.
“She’s gone,” Maisey cried. “She ran away again!”
“Oh, dear!” Eddie exclaimed. “It’s already dark out, she shouldn’t be out there alone! What did you say to her, Maisey?”
“I told her the truth,” Maisey shook her head.
“I’ll find her,” I said, turning and running back through the house towards the front door.
“Wait! Jesse!” I turned around as Maisey called my name. “I’ll go, you can’t run with your knee..”
“Fuck my knee, I’m fine,” I growled. She shoved the inhaler in my hand and when I saw the look in her eyes, it wrecked me completely. I kissed her quickly and then ran out the door as fast as I could. I spotted Maddy down the block and broke into a full run.
My knee throbbed in pain, but I ignored it, willing my body to perform to its full capacity. I’d always been able to flip the switch between man and athlete, to turn into the elite running machine that had served me so well time and time again. The pain fell away, the limp disappeared, and within seconds, I was flying down the middle of the street like it was the turf, ignoring every obstacle in my way and keeping my eye focused on my goal. I knew I was doing damage to my own body. I’d felt this way before, like when I played three games last season with a torn rotator cuff. The team doctor fought me tooth and nail, but I wasn’t about to let him stop me.
Even if it hurt…
People talked about Jesse ‘Colorado’ being untouchable. They talked about how I’d shrug off linebackers and never miss a damn game. They didn’t see me later that night when I nursed the bruises and sprains. I never let them see the pain…
Maddy was fast, and my heart soared with pride at that fact. Maybe she was more like me than Maisey thought. At this pace, she had to be feeling the burn in her legs and the fire in her chest, but she kept going. Before I could take a minute to smile, Nina’s face flashed in my head, and the severity of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to get to Maddy before her body gave out.
I could save her… I could offer her a happy life in a strong, healthy body. I couldn’t bear to lose her before I’d even had a chance to get to know her. I couldn’t bear to lose her like I’d lost Nina.
She disappeared around a corner at the end of the street and I picked up my pace, my feet flying beneath my legs, pounding the pavement as fast as I could. I rounded the corner, and she was nowhere in sight.
“Shit!” I cursed, my eyes frantically searching for her. I kept running, peeking in every yard and around every car that I passed. I couldn’t lose her. Maisey would never forgive me. I had to find her, I had no other choice.
“Maddy!” I called, my voice echoing in the darkness. I’d lost sight of her, but my instincts told me she was close. She couldn’t have gotten far, so I kept running, hoping like hell I’d catch sight of her.
And then I did.
A flash of her blonde curls caught my eye up ahead, and I bounded up the street like the fucking Bionic Man, determined not to let her get away again, but she rounded another corner and I lost sight of her once more. My knee throbbed hotly as it took most of the impact, but it held up, and I kept running.
My heart jumped into my throat when I saw Maddy up ahead - she was on her knees, slumped over and gasping for breath. I reached her within seconds and pushed her inhaler towards her. She grabbed it, inhaled deeply, then broke out into a ragged cough. Tears streamed down her face, and she gasped for air.
“Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay,” I said, holding the inhaler to her mouth. We sank to the sidewalk together and I pulled her into my body. “Just breathe, just breathe. Nice and slow, there you go, that’s it, shhh…”
She sobbed, her body trembling in fear as she regained her breath slowly. Her breathing slowed and she slumped against me.
“It’s okay, Maddy, it’s all going to be okay…”
The tires of my Jaguar screeched to a stop behind us and Grady, Eddie and Maisey jumped out. Maisey’s face was white with terror as she raced to Maddy’s side.
“She’s alright, she’s alright,” I assured her. “Let’s get her to the hospital.”
They clung to each other as Eddie and I helped them into the back of the car. Grady sped to the hospital with the skill of a race car driver. Maisey held Maddy in her arms, and Eddie and I squeezed together in the back seat with them.
I looked over at him, the gold sequins of his dress sparkling under the street lights. His face was drawn with worry, his blood red lips pursed together tightly.
“She’s going to be okay,” I said to him.
He reached over and grabbed my hand, his huge hand engulfing mine.
“I hope you’re right, Colorado,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion. “These girls are my family.”
“Well,” I replied, my heart swelling in my chest as I looked back at Maisey and Maddy, “they’re my family now, too, so I guess that makes us all family.”
“It sure does,” he nodded, as Grady pulled up to the Emergency Room. “Now - go! Take care of our girls!”
“I got this,” I said, as I realized I’d never been more sure of anything in my life.
42
MAISEY
“He’s the best pediatric heart specialist in the world,” Jesse reassured me, as we left Dr. Anderson’s office.
“And the most confident, apparently,” I replied.
“He’s earned the right to be confident. He’s saved thousands of kids lives with his bare hands.”
Jesse turned, pulling me into his arms and wrapping himself around me. He’d taken to holding me like this the last few days, his body feeling like a protective shield that had been sent to guard us. “He’s going to save Maddy, too. You’ll see, babe. Have a little faith.”
“That’s all I’ve got,” I said, my voice muffled against his chest.
He pulled away, peering deeply into my eyes.
“Hey, that’s not true. Yo
u’ve got Maddy. You’ve got Eddie. And, if you want… You’ve got me.”
“Of course I want you,” I said. We’d spent the last twenty four hours hashing out the last ten years, and somehow we’d come to a sort of truce. He agreed not to hate me and I agreed to never cut him out of Maddy’s life again. “How could I not?”
“I’m not perfect, Maisey. Not yet. But I will be. You’ll see. I’m going to be the best dad to Maddy,” he insisted. His eyes were so gentle, so earnest, so hopeful. I don’t know how he’d forgiven me, and I wasn’t sure I’d have done the same thing so easily if I were in his shoes, but I was so grateful that he had.
Most of all, he was absolutely convinced that his doctors could cure Maddy’s illness. And to be honest, if that happened, then I’d have given him my life… If he wanted me to keep the faith, then I’d do it.
I could only wish Maddy had forgiven me as easily as he had. She was still a little angry, and once we’d gotten to the hospital and her breathing had stabilized completely, she’d withdrawn even more. I couldn’t blame her. I deserved her anger. But she knew I loved her with all of my soul, and I knew she loved me. We’d be able to work things out. Maybe it would take a little time, but I was prepared for that.
What I wasn’t prepared for was how easily she and Jesse took to each other. After he’d chased her down and we’d taken her to the hospital, they’d given her a sedative to help her body relax.
She’d taken a quick nap, and when she woke up, the first person she asked for was Jesse.
I watched their meeting from the hallway, saw their awkward laughter turn to affectionate banter and I knew everything was going to be okay. He explained his sister’s illness to her, told her about his charity and all the work he’d been doing when he wasn’t on a football field. Her eyes lit up when she realized what it all meant for her. It was as if the whole world opened up to her.
If Jesse was right, Maddy’s potential to lead a full, healthy, normal life just increased immensely.
But I knew the truth… She’d never lead a normal life. Her life was going to be extraordinary. I’d make sure of that…
And so would Jesse.
After her conversation with Jesse, Maddy had drifted off to sleep… But I wasn’t going to find rest quite as easily. I spent the entire night talking with Jesse, discussing the past, and figuring out what all of this meant for our future.
“Maisey, I get it,” he’d said, his voice a low whisper as we sat by the window in Maddy’s hospital room. “I don’t hold it against you. We’ve all made choices we regretted later.”
“Did you?” I asked. “What do you regret?”
“Me? Well, for starters, I regret not coming after you on prom night. I saw your note to your dad. I knew where you went. I could have drove down to the bus station and found you… But I didn’t. I let myself get angry. I let you go, and I’ve regretted it ever since. Now I know why.”
“I should have told you the truth,” I said. “I was scared, so I ran.”
“I guess all three of us are good at running,” he winked.
“I can’t believe you’re joking about all of this,” I said. He reached over and grabbed my hand, his warmth comforting me like a blanket.
“What else can I do? All we’ve got is now, Maisey. We can’t change the past, so why spend time being angry about it? And, I don’t know if you noticed, but it needs to be said - you’ve given me the greatest gift of my life, the most important gift I could ever receive. I’m proud to be Maddy’s father, she’s a wonderful kid. You’ve done a great job of raising her, Maisey,” he said, my heart melting in my chest at his words. “You should be proud of that. And you did it all alone, Maise. That’s amazing.”
“You’re amazing,” I said, smiling up at him. “I’m so lucky to have you in our lives, Jesse.”
“I’m the lucky one,” he said, leaning over to kiss me. His lips were so gentle, so warm, so loving, so fucking perfect that tears began streaming down my face.
“Why are you crying? You aren’t going to run away again, are you?”
Laughter bubbled up from under my tears, and I shook my head.
“No, Jesse, never again.”
“Good. Cause if you try it again, I’m gonna have to tackle you.”
Epilogue
MAISEY - SEVEN MONTHS LATER
“Oh, my God, I’m so excited, I’m gonna piss my pants!” Eddie cried, throwing his Broncos scarf over his shoulders.
“Eddie!” I tried to scold him, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Maddy jumped up and down at my side, and the three of us stood huddled on the sidelines in what was easily the most exciting moment of all of our lives.
The Broncos had made it to the Superbowl and for the last several hours we’d been cheering them on as they played against the Arizona Cardinals in the Superdome in New Orleans. Jesse chartered a jet for the three of us and we’d been living it up in the Big Easy all weekend. The only sad part is that I didn’t get to spend much time with him over the last few days. He had to travel with the team and they were practicing and training every minute leading up to the game!
We’d all spent the last two weeks counting the days till we stepped on that plane, and we’d had the time of our lives. I couldn’t remember ever being this happy, and it amazed me that my crazy life could lead to this even crazier moment.
Jesse had been right about Maddy’s illness. The doctors had performed a bonafide miracle. Once she was properly diagnosed, they were able to schedule a surgery almost immediately. A month in the hospital and one little pill to take every day and her symptoms had disappeared completely. As she recovered, Maddy spent more and more time walking the hospital floors and getting to know the other girls who had come here for treatment under Jesse’s charitable program. She had a gentle grace about her, and it wasn’t long before she was friends with every patient and nurse in the building.
Maybe she would go into medicine someday… Just like me… The world was her oyster and it was all thanks to Jesse.
I’d spent years imagining what would happen if the truth came out, and I’d never imagined it turning out this wonderful. I counted my blessings every day of my life, and I did everything I could to make it up to both of them. Maddy had finally come around after a week or so, and once she realized that Jesse was here to stay, she saw it for the blessing that it was. We’d finally bonded together like a real family.
And here we were as if we’d always been like this.
I held my breath as the last play of the game unfolded before our eyes.
The Broncos were down by three points but well out of field goal range, and there were just seconds left in the game. The Broncos had just called their last time out with time for one final play.
As Jesse ran over and conferred with the coach, Maddy reached up and squeezed my hand.
“Make a wish, baby,” I whispered in her ear.
“I already did!” she said. I laughed and pulled her and Eddie close as we all held hands and watched Jesse run back to the huddle for a few seconds before the teams went into formation.
Jesse took the ball from the center and rolled out right. I could feel the energy coming off his body. I knew his arm would find its target, that was where his true talent lay. He found his wide receiver and the pass was the most perfect spiral I’d ever seen. The crowd fell silent as the ball danced through the air, pirouetting gracefully until it landed square in the wide receiver’s chest. He secured it with his huge hands and turned and ran for the end zone.
The defenders launched their bodies at him in complete desperation, but he eluded their attempts like a skilled escape artist. He slid through the human barricades like a snake, sidestepping and dancing around them, leaving them fumbling through the air in his wake.
“Oh lord! Oh lord! Oh oh oh!” Eddie cried, jumping up and down beside me.
“Go go go!” Maddy yelled. My eyes traveled over to Jesse and my heart swelled when I saw the complete joy on his face as he watched the wide rec
eiver travel safely into the end zone, throwing the ball down as the crowd erupted in joy and confetti and balloons began raining down around us. Jesse pumped his arms in the air in victory and tears sprang to my eyes. I reached down and pulled Maddy up into my arms, spinning her around as we laughed together.
“Let’s go!” I said, setting her on her feet and running onto the field. Eddie followed us and we pushed our way through the ecstatic crowd and colorful streamers. Hundreds of people surrounded the raised platform that Jesse and his teammates now stood on. We ran up on it and he threw his arms around us, kissing me hard on the lips and then turned to Maddy, picking her up and spinning her in the air. Laughter peeled from them as they beamed at each other.
“Look at that trophy!” Maddy said. He handed it to her and she held it up with both hands.
A reporter stepped forward and put a microphone in his face.
“Congratulations on your win! What are you going to do now, Colorado?” the reporter asked.
“I’m going to marry the woman of my dreams,” he said, catching my eye and winking. I gasped as he pulled me close and grabbed my hand. I heard Eddie squeal beside me as he pulled a small black box from his pants and handed it to Jesse.
My eyes widened as I watched Jesse kneel on one knee in front of me.
He opened the box and my mouth dropped open when I saw the sparkling ring that lay inside. The diamond was the size of a small mountain.
“Maisey, will you make me the happiest man in the world? Will you please marry me?” Jesse asked, his voice booming through the loud speakers, echoing through the arena, love beaming from his eyes. Love for me.
“Oh my God,” I said, the forty thousand people in the arena with us disappearing, the roar of the crowd turning to a whisper as I looked into the eyes of the love of my life. My heart swelled in my chest as my body began buzzing from the sweetest joy I’d ever known.
