Jessie was so angry that her vision actually wavered. She pulled off to the side of the freeway and put the car in Park before turning in her seat to face her mother. She glanced at Amber, who was still asleep.
“I’m only going to say this once, Mother. Being gay is not an illness. It isn’t something you can catch simply by being around someone who is. It isn’t something you learn, which should be pretty evident since Karen is gay and that certainly isn’t how you and Dad raised her. It’s something that you either are or you aren’t. It’s that simple. Amber will not turn out gay because she’s surrounded by lesbians. That’ll just cause her to become a more loving and understanding woman, because she won’t be learning all the fear and hatred toward homosexuals that so many other people seem to teach their children.”
Jessie stopped her tirade and sat back in her seat waiting for her mother to say something, but she was still staring out the window, her lips pressed firmly together and her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap.
“Are you going to say anything?”
“Please stop at the grocery store. I want to fix you dinner tonight.”
“That’s it?” Jessie put the car in gear and eased back out into traffic. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“Fine. But you can’t fix me dinner, because Lynn’s waiting for us at the house. I’m going to have dinner with her tonight.”
“Then I’ll fix dinner for both of you.” Jessie looked over at her mother, who was now staring at her defiantly. “Is that a problem?”
“No.” Jessie shrugged. What the heck was going on?
*
Lynn stared at the tree she and Jessie had bought the day before and spent most of that morning decorating. She’d grinned when she saw the ornament she’d made for Jessie in the fourth grade. It was a silly little reindeer made out of old clothespins, and it surprised her to see it in Jessie’s many boxes of ornaments. She’d have thought Jessie had thrown it out years ago.
The front door opened and she jumped up when Donna Greenfield walked in behind Jessie. She suddenly felt as if she were sixteen again and had done something wrong.
“Auntie Lynn!” Amber came running to her, and Lynn knelt and picked her up. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, sweetie.” Lynn hugged her and glanced over Amber’s shoulder in Jessie’s direction. “Did you have fun with your grandma?”
“Yes. Put me down. I got you a present.”
“You did?” Amber tossed everything out of her suitcase looking for God only knew what. Finally she seized a bag with Mickey on it.
“Here.” She thrust the bag out to Lynn. “Grandma said you’d like it.”
Lynn was stunned. She’d always thought Jessie’s mother simply tolerated her presence and, had it been up to her, would have banished Lynn from Jessie’s life altogether.
“Open it. I want to see what it is.” Jessie glanced at her mother, but Donna was watching Lynn with a strange expression.
Lynn removed a vintage Mickey Mouse T-shirt from the bag and held it up. She laughed at Amber, who was staring up at her with big brown eyes so much like her mother’s.
“Do you like it?” she asked.
“I love it. Thank you, Amber.” Lynn hugged her again, but Amber quickly ran back to her mother.
“Why don’t you take her upstairs and get her unpacked,” Donna suggested as she headed for the kitchen. “I’ll start dinner.”
“I’ll help you with the suitcases,” Lynn said.
“Lynn, I need your help in here. I’m sure Jessie can handle them.”
Lynn took Jessie by the arm and led her over to the stairs, where she stopped and lowered her voice so no one could overhear her. “What the hell’s going on?” She glanced back toward the kitchen.
“I have no clue. She wanted to fix dinner for us.”
“Did you tell her about us?” Lynn really didn’t want to go into the battlefield without all the information available.
“I just said that you’re staying here with me. I swear, nothing came up about the two of us.” Jessie kissed Lynn quickly. “I don’t want to come back down here and find the two of you bonding over a beer or anything.”
“Yeah, like that would ever happen.” Lynn swallowed against a ball of tension and went back to the kitchen. “What can I do to help?”
Donna didn’t answer right away, and Lynn was about to ask again, thinking maybe she hadn’t heard her. Donna straightened and looked out into the living room before turning and facing Lynn. “I don’t really need your help. I only wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay.” Lynn shifted her weight, uncomfortable with the way Donna was looking at her. She tried to get the conversation off to a good start. “Thank you for the shirt. You didn’t have to do that.”
“You had one like it when you were younger, didn’t you?” She took a seat at the table, motioning for Lynn to do the same. “It must have been your favorite shirt, because it seemed like you wore it almost every day.”
“It was.” Lynn laughed in spite of her wariness. “I finally had to throw it away when it started to disintegrate.”
Donna laughed too, and Lynn began to relax. She sat back in her chair and studied Donna, who appeared to be struggling with what she wanted to say.
“What are your intentions toward my daughter?” she finally asked.
Lynn continued to stare at her and finally decided she must have heard wrong. “Pardon me?”
“I asked you what your intentions are concerning Jessica.”
Okay, so I did hear her right. Lynn looked away and glanced back toward the stairs, willing Jessie to come rescue her.
“If you can’t answer a simple—”
“I love her,” Lynn said, and met Donna’s eyes again. If she wanted a fight, Lynn was ready for it. She would never hide her feelings for Jessie again. “I love Jessie with all that I am. I always have. If she’ll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
Donna didn’t speak at first, but held Lynn’s gaze. After a moment, she nodded once, almost imperceptibly. “If I’d been stronger, I’d have left Arthur the first time he hit me. Also, I wouldn’t have discouraged Jessica from following her heart, and maybe she would have found happiness with you long ago. I knew that you loved her when you girls were in high school. I did everything I could to keep Arthur from noticing it too, but that day when he caught the two of you hugging in the backyard…”
Lynn wasn’t sure what to say. She sat still, aching to reach out to the woman who had always been an enigma. It had been painfully obvious that Arthur had run their household with the proverbial iron fist, and Donna really never had anything to say—about anything.
“I’m so sorry he hit you that day.” Donna looked away and wiped at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. “I should have said that long ago, but I was so scared of him. I hope to God you never have to know that kind of fear, Lynn. I hate myself for putting my girls through it, and for the fact that Jessica ended up marrying a man exactly like Arthur. I’ve often thought it would have been Jessie, not Karen, who grew up to be a lesbian. Jessie was always the tomboy, but you know that, don’t you?”
Lynn smiled nervously, but decided not to interrupt Jessie’s mother while she was in the mood to talk. Lynn couldn’t remember ever hearing her so vocal. Thank God Arthur Greenfield had died.
“I was shocked when she told us she was getting married. Arthur was as happy as a clam that one of his girls had turned out ‘normal.’ I’ll admit that I was delighted when we found out Jessica was pregnant.” Donna looked away again, her eyes darting everywhere in the room except at Lynn. “I always wanted a grandchild. Amber’s the most precious little girl in the world.”
“Yes, she is.” Lynn smiled at the memory of Amber running to her as soon as they’d walked in the door.
“She loves you, although I don’t know how that’s even possible when you’re only around a few
weeks a year. How does she even remember you from year to year, and at such a young age?”
“I guess I make an impression,” Lynn said, trying to lighten the mood. She almost pulled her hand off the table when Donna reached for it, but let it remain. Donna squeezed her fingers gently.
“Jessie loves you too, Lynn. I’ve known that for years, even if she didn’t realize it until now. And even if I don’t fully understand it, I want Jessie to be happy. Sometimes you have to travel the long road in front of you to get to the destination that was right around the corner the whole time.”
“Mrs. Greenfield—”
“Don’t you think after so many years it’s time to call me Donna? I’ve known you since you were Amber’s age.”
“Donna.” Lynn smiled as she said it and took a deep breath. “It means a lot to me that you’ve said these things. I’m not as sure as you are that Jessie loves me, but I love Jessie and Amber, and I’ll do everything in my power to make them happy, as long as they let me.”
“Good. I was worried that Amber would get even more attached to you and then you’d leave. I think Jessie misunderstood me when I mentioned it. But, no matter.” Donna stood, signaling that the conversation was finished. Lynn stood also, but she wasn’t sure what she should do. Donna turned to her, a stern look on her face. “Just know that if you ever hurt her, you’ll have me to answer to.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“One more thing. I know you’ll talk to Jessie about this, but I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until later—after I’ve gone home for the night.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“I’ve been dying to find out what you and my mother talked about while I was upstairs,” Jessie said after she’d taken Donna home and was sitting on the couch with Lynn. Amber was in bed for the night, and it was only the two of them, each holding a glass of wine.
“I’ll bet you have.” Lynn didn’t say any more, and Jessie let out an exasperated sigh.
“You won’t tell me?” Jessie took Lynn’s wineglass and placed it on the coffee table next to her own. Lynn shook her head in response as Jessie pushed her onto her back, covering Lynn’s body with her own. “I have ways of making you talk.”
“I’m sure you have ways of making me do a lot of things.”
It was obvious that Lynn was enjoying the game way too much. Jessie kissed the edge of her jaw before moving so she was sitting on the other end of the couch. She smiled when Lynn whimpered her protest. “She was warning you to stay away from me, wasn’t she? Because Lynn is the big, bad lesbian who’s going to pull me into her world.”
Lynn grabbed Jessie’s hand, pulling her back on top of her. “She wanted to know my intentions toward her daughter.”
Jessie stared at her in disbelief, more than a little disoriented to think that her mother would accept the situation. Jessie was hurt on some level. Why wouldn’t her mother have talked to her about it? She listened carefully as Lynn recounted the entire conversation.
“Seriously? She thought that I would be gay, and not Karen?” Jessie got to her feet and began to pace back and forth in front of the coffee table.
“That’s what she said.”
“You’re just messing with me, Lynn Patrick. My mother told you to keep your lesbian hands off me, didn’t she?”
“My lesbian hands—that’s funny.” Lynn laughed when Jessie sat next to her again. “I’m telling the truth. She wants you to be happy, Jess. She knows that I love you, and she knows you love me. She’s fine with this, as long as I don’t hurt you.”
Jessie looked at her skeptically, but finally shook her head. It would definitely take a while to get used to her mother’s new understanding side.
*
Jessie woke the next morning with a warm body against her back. She grinned lazily when Lynn’s hand moved underneath her T-shirt to skim along her side. She tried to turn over, but another warm body was pressed against her front so she looked down. Oh, shit. Amber had gotten into the bed with them at some point during the night. How in the world was she going to explain this? Lynn had wanted to sleep in the guest room the night before, but Jessie had insisted it would be okay, because Amber knew not to come into her room without knocking and waiting to be invited in.
She turned her head toward Lynn as she grabbed her hand to stop it from moving to her breast. “We aren’t alone,” she whispered.
“What?” Lynn propped herself up on an elbow and looked over Jessie’s body, her dismay evident. “I knew I shouldn’t have slept in here.”
“Stop.” Jessie held her wrist when Lynn tried to get out of the bed. “It’s too late now. She knows you’re here, and it’s pointless to move to the other room.”
“Maybe it was too dark when she came in, and she didn’t see me here.”
“Lynn, stop. She’ll find out sooner or later, so relax before you freak me out too.” Jessie watched her intently until Lynn nodded, then she let go of Lynn’s wrist and kissed Amber’s head while she ran her fingers through her silky hair. It wasn’t the way she’d wanted Amber to find out about them, and her heart was pounding. “Amber, honey. It’s time to wake up now.”
“Don’t wanna.” Amber stretched out but never opened her eyes.
“Honey, Mommy needs to get up. I need you to move so I can get out of the bed.”
“Where’s Daddy?”
Lynn stiffened behind her, but she reached back and placed a hand on her hip while searching for an appropriate answer. When she didn’t reply right away Amber turned onto her side again and sighed. “Grandma says he’s not coming home.”
“He’s not, sweetie.” Jessie kissed her temple, then rested her forehead against Amber’s shoulder. “Would it make you sad if he didn’t live with us anymore?”
Amber shook her head, but didn’t say anything. Jessie looked over at Lynn, who was listening to the conversation quietly.
“Do you miss him?” Jessie asked carefully.
“No. Daddy was mean. I’m glad he’s gone.”
“Honey, did Daddy ever hit you?” Jessie had asked her the same question before and Amber had said no, but that was when Wayne had still been living with them. If Amber had been afraid of him, she’d have said anything not to upset him. Jessie knew that, because she and Karen lived like that for most of their childhood.
“No. Daddy was mean to you. He made you cry. I don’t like it when you cry. And he yelled all the time. If he’s gone, then you don’t cry no more, right, Mommy?” She looked at Jessie again, and when Jessie nodded, Amber smiled and threw the covers off. She faced the bed and smiled at Lynn. “Hi, Auntie Lynn. Are you gonna live with us now?”
“Would you like that, honey?” Jessie asked when she sensed Lynn’s discomfort.
Amber nodded her head vigorously. “I love Auntie Lynn. She never makes you cry. And she plays with me.”
With that, Amber ran out of the room, presumably to use the bathroom or watch cartoons. Lynn let out a breath and fell onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Jessie propped herself up on an elbow and put her hand in the center of Lynn’s chest.
“It’s that simple?” Lynn asked.
“She’s six, Lynn. She has no idea why we’re in the same bed.” Jessie smiled at Lynn’s obvious distress over the situation. “I probably don’t need to explain it all to her right now.”
“I haven’t spent much time in the company of small children. It may take me some time to get used to this.” Lynn pulled Jessie closer. “But make no mistake—I definitely want to get used to this.”
“She adores you.” Jessie kissed the tip of Lynn’s nose. “Just like her mommy.”
“Your mother brought up a good point last night. She wanted to know how Amber even remembers who I am when I’m not really here too often.”
“I talk about you. A lot. And she absolutely loves to look at pictures. Believe it or not, she can pick you out of the crowd in your softball team picture in our senior yearbook.” Jessie laid her head on Lynn’s shoulder and began t
o play with the hem of Lynn’s T-shirt as she spoke. “She’s always asking me when you’re coming to visit—even more often after Wayne left. I know it’s crazy, but I think she instinctively knew not to talk about you when he was around.”
“It’s amazing the things that kids are in tune with, isn’t it?” Lynn relaxed and let Jessie’s hand work its way under her shirt.
“It is.” Jessie kissed Lynn’s neck, then pulled her hand away, even though she wanted to have her way with Lynn. “We have to go Christmas shopping, and Amber needs to sit on Santa’s lap at some point. I can’t believe Christmas is only a few days away.”
“I know. Time flies, doesn’t it?”
“It’s flown since Saturday night. I could spend the rest of my life right here in your arms.” Just as their lips touched, they heard Amber calling from downstairs.
“Mommy! I’m hungry!”
“A hungry kid would interrupt us every five minutes, though.” Lynn seemed to try to stop laughing, but Jessie’s scowl evidently made the situation even funnier. “I’m sorry. Let’s make a date. Ten minutes after she goes to bed tonight, I’ll meet you back here.”
“We can lock the door.” Jessie grinned as she got out of the bed. “I’ll also have a little talk with Amber to remind her that Mommy’s room is private, and she better knock.”
“Jess? When we meet back here later…lose the T-shirt and sweatpants, all right?”
The words, the tone of voice, and the smoldering look in Lynn’s eyes made her knees go weak. She hurried to the bathroom, trying to ignore her soaking panties.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lynn’s mother led Jessie and Amber around the living room on Christmas Eve, introducing them to various family members. It might have been a bit frigid outside, but unfamiliar warmth suffused Lynn. This undeniable feeling of happiness made her sigh with contentment.
“Thank you for inviting me to share Christmas Eve with you and your family,” Jessie’s mother said.
“You are part of the family.” Lynn kissed her cheek, which caused her to blush. If someone had told Lynn a week earlier she’d kiss Donna Greenfield, she’d have laughed.
True Confessions Page 13
