“Why wouldn’t I want that? We’ve wasted enough time. You’re more important to me than I can say, Lynn. You always have been, and if I’d been more in tune with my feelings, I’d have realized it years ago.”
“What about Wayne?”
“He’s definitely a problem.” Jessie closed her eyes and shook her head. “I honestly don’t know what to expect from him, but I don’t want to let him control me any longer. He and I both need to start out fresh.”
“Then I’d be more than happy to live with you.” Lynn squeezed her hand. “I can’t imagine not being with you.”
“Good. Then that’s settled.”
Lynn truly wanted to believe everything was in place, but she didn’t. Wayne would never let them be. From what little she knew about him, the man wasn’t likely to lose gracefully, especially to a woman.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lynn was happy they’d decided to go out. They’d just finished dancing to the fourth song in a row, and she sat down at their table, pulling Jessie into her lap with a laugh. Jessie’s arms went around Lynn’s neck, and Lynn pulled her closer for a kiss.
“Jesus, don’t you two ever stop?” Karen asked from her seat on the other side of the table. “Maybe you should get a room somewhere.”
“Oh, please—tell me you and Sarah weren’t like this when you first got together.” Jessie laughed as she extricated herself from Lynn’s grasp and took her own chair. Lynn grabbed the bottom of it and pulled her as close as the chairs would allow before putting her arm around Jessie’s shoulders.
“That’s beside the point.” Karen chuckled. “And who says we aren’t still like that?”
Unfortunately, Sarah had to work, but she kept stealing a minute or two when she could to sit with the three of them. It was almost midnight, and people were getting their glasses of champagne and preparing for the countdown. Lynn kissed Jessie again, but before it became steamy, a hand on her shoulder pulled her and Jessie apart.
“What the hell?” Lynn said when Sarah bent close so they could both hear her.
“Wayne’s here.” She tilted her head in the direction of the front doors before sitting next to Karen.
Jessie looked where Sarah had indicated and moved her chair away from Lynn’s quickly. When Jessie glanced at Lynn, the fear in Jessie’s eyes terrified her.
“We have to call the police,” Karen said, reaching for her cell phone.
Sarah grabbed her arm. “I already did. They’re on their way.”
Lynn was still close enough to Jessie that she could hear her quietly swearing. Wayne stood only a few feet away. Lynn tried to take Jessie’s hand under the table, but Jessie jerked it away.
“What the fuck are you doing in a place like this?” he bellowed loud enough that most of the people around them turned to see what was happening. “I went by the house and you weren’t there. I should have known you’d be here with your dyke friends.”
“Wayne, you can’t be here,” Jessie said calmly.
“I saw you kissing her.” He pointed at Lynn, then looked accusingly at Jessie again. “I knew this was why you kicked me out and want a divorce now. You’re a fucking dyke!”
Lynn stood impulsively, because if she’d taken the time to think about it, she’d have kept her butt in the chair. She got close enough to him that she was in his face, but was careful not to touch him. Karen and Jessie both were trying to get her to back down, but she refused to budge.
“She left you because you beat the shit out of her and put her in the hospital,” Lynn told him, not even trying to hide her hatred. She’d love to punch him but managed to restrain herself. “She left you because you’re an asshole.”
Lynn was dimly aware that the music had stopped playing and now everyone was watching them in shocked silence. Apparently a domestic dispute was more interesting than the New Year’s Eve celebration. The lights were being turned up as well, but Lynn was so focused on the man in front of her she barely noticed.
“I knew you were sleeping with her,” Wayne said with a sneer. His words were directed at Jessie, which only made Lynn angrier. He looked at Lynn again, and she smelled the whiskey on his breath. “Have you two been fucking around since high school? Is that what you do when you come to visit every year? This is all starting to make sense now.”
“The police are on their way,” Lynn informed him, choosing to ignore his asinine attempts to provoke her. “I’d suggest you get the hell out of here before they come haul your ass away.”
He took a step back and looked her up and down, shaking his head in disgust.
“What are you, her knight in shining armor?” he asked with a laugh. He suddenly turned serious as he confronted Lynn. She didn’t flinch or give ground. “Jessica is my wife, and I’m not going anywhere, bitch. You’re certainly welcome to try and make me, though.”
He shoved her hard with both hands, and Lynn fell over the chair she’d been sitting in earlier. Sarah went to her side to make sure she was all right, but Lynn shoved her hand away and tried to get back on her feet. Wayne started to walk toward her, but Jessie stuck her foot out into his path, and he fell face-first onto the ground a couple of feet away. He landed hard, but almost immediately pulled himself back up, glaring at Jessie with hatred in his eyes.
“Get off me!” Lynn yelled at Sarah when she tried again to help her. Lynn watched helplessly when Wayne stepped close to Jessie and obviously said something to her, because Jessie’s eyes flared in fear as she backed away from him.
“Come on, tough guy,” an authoritative voice said, and a uniformed arm reached for Wayne. The cop was looking at Jessie. “Are you all right, Jess?”
Jessie only nodded before going to stand next to Karen. Lynn finally allowed Sarah to help her to her feet, went to Jessie, and tried to put an arm around her waist, but Jessie pulled away. The rejection stung, but Lynn told herself it was simply because Wayne was still watching her.
“What happened here?” the officer asked. Lynn thought he looked familiar, but didn’t have time to think about where she might have seen him before. He glanced at the awkward way Lynn was holding her hand, then met her eyes. “Do you need medical attention?”
“No.”
“Look around, Officer,” Wayne said as the cop handcuffed him. “We’re in the middle of a den of iniquity, and I’m the one you’re going to arrest?”
“Well, sir,” the cop said with mock concern. “The last time I checked, it isn’t illegal to be gay—as much as some people would like it to be. However, it is illegal to violate a restraining order so, yes, you are the one that I’m arresting. You have the right to remain silent…”
Lynn tuned him out, vaguely aware of a sharp pain in her wrist but more concerned with Jessie’s well-being. She picked up the chair she had fallen over and helped Jessie sit down, then knelt in front of her.
“Jess, are you okay?” she asked, while Sarah began pushing people away from them. Lynn held her left arm close to her chest and put her right hand gently on Jessie’s thigh. A second officer had taken Wayne from the building, and the first one crouched next to Lynn.
“He’ll at least spend the night in jail, Jess,” he said, taking one of Jessie’s hands in his own.
Lynn looked at him and and finally recognized him. “Mike?” she asked in disbelief. He nodded in her direction, obviously pleased that she’d remembered. “My God, Mike, I haven’t seen you in years.”
Mike Williams had been her boyfriend in high school. Her gay boyfriend. The fake relationship had saved both of them from a lot of ridicule and questions. She remembered Jessie telling her he’d become a cop, but Lynn hadn’t seen or talked to him since graduation.
“Jess, do you have a ride home?” he asked, redirecting his attention to Jessie.
“She came with me,” Lynn answered. “I’ll take her home.”
Mike glanced at the wrist she was holding tight to her body and shook his head. He met her eyes. “You really should have that examined, Lynn. It lo
oks broken.”
“I’m fine.” She wasn’t in the mood to have people telling her what she should do. She turned her attention back to Jessie, and Mike stood to speak with Karen and Sarah before he finally left.
“I want to go home,” Jessie said after a moment. Lynn nodded and started to get to her feet, but Jessie looked pointedly at her sister. “Will you take me, please?”
Lynn glanced at Karen in confusion, but she appeared to be just as confused as Lynn.
Sarah was talking to one of the other bartenders, then made her way back over to Lynn.
“Come on,” she said, taking hold of Lynn’s uninjured arm. “I’m driving you to the hospital so you can have that wrist x-rayed. It really does look like it’s broken.”
“No, I’m taking Jessie home.”
“No,” Jessie said, tears in her eyes and a wounded expression on her face. Lynn wanted nothing more than to ease her pain. “I need to be alone right now. Go get your wrist taken care of and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Lynn stared in disbelief. Sarah brought her some ice to put on her wrist, and they watched Karen and Jessie walk out the door.
“What the hell just happened?” Lynn was in a daze as she walked beside Sarah out to her car. She reached into her pocket with her right hand and pulled out her keys. After pushing the button to unlock the doors, she tossed them to Sarah.
“Honestly—I’m not sure, honey.” Sarah got in and started the car. “She probably needs some time to sort things out.”
Lynn closed her eyes and rested her head back against the seat. She was suddenly aware of the sharp pain in her wrist and winced as she tried to convince herself Jessie’s reaction to the events was normal for a woman whose estranged and abusive husband had shown up out of the blue. Please, let that be what it is.
Chapter Twenty-Five
It was almost four in the morning when Sarah pulled into the driveway. Lynn opened her eyes slowly and took in her surroundings, realizing they were in front of Sarah’s house.
“Why didn’t you just take me home?” Lynn shook her head, trying to get the cobwebs out. She was a little loopy from the drugs they’d given her in the emergency room before setting her wrist, which was broken in two places. She was grateful she could at least still type with her right hand. It would be slow going, but doable.
“I wouldn’t have a way to get home, Lynn.” Sarah put the car in Park and shut off the lights. “Also, I didn’t see any reason to wake your parents up at this time of the morning.”
Lynn could hear the agitation in her voice, and she turned her head to look at her. The world around her began to swim, and she had to close her eyes. She felt as if she’d been drinking for three days straight. “What the hell did they give me?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but whatever it was, it’s really fucking with you. You keep asking the same questions, but that’s only when you haven’t fallen asleep in the middle of a word.” Lynn opened one eye and tried to focus on Sarah. “The doctor said you’d probably be out of it for a few hours. We need to get you inside so you can sleep this off.”
Lynn didn’t want to move. She was about to tell Sarah to leave her in the car when the passenger side door opened and Sarah was pulling her out, with Karen standing right outside the front door, obviously waiting for them. Lynn concentrated on walking the few steps from the car without falling.
“I guess it’s broken?” Karen asked. She took Lynn’s other arm and they both helped her into the living room.
“In two places.” Lynn held up two fingers to emphasize the fact and laughed shakily. “Have you ever broken anything? It hurts like hell. But, you know, they gave me some awesome painkillers. Makes it almost tolerable.”
“I’ll bet it does. Do you want anything to drink?”
“Beer.”
“One water, coming right up,” Sarah said as she went straight to the kitchen. She returned after a moment with a bottle of spring water and handed it to Lynn before sitting next to her.
“You should talk to your distributor,” Lynn said seriously, wrinkling her nose after she took a swig. “This beer is really watered down.”
Karen and Sarah laughed, and Lynn looked back and forth between them, wondering what was so funny about watered-down beer. She glanced over to the front hall and saw a duffel bag sitting near the front door.
“Is that mine?” she asked, and her heart dropped. It was the bag she’d left at Jessie’s when they went to stay at her parents’ house.
“Lynn—”
“Come on,” Sarah said as she tried to get her to her feet again. “Let’s get you to bed, and we can talk about it in the morning.”
“That is mine.” Lynn pulled her arm out of Sarah’s grip and looked at Karen, but she was still having trouble focusing. “Why’s it here?”
“Jessie’s had second thoughts,” Karen said, and glanced over Lynn’s shoulder at Sarah.
“About what?” Lynn was dazed, and it wasn’t just from the pills. She felt as though someone had reached into her chest and ripped her heart out. She shook her head slowly. “I don’t understand.”
“Lynn.” Karen hesitated again. “Things were moving too fast for her. She said to tell you she’s sorry. She loves you as a friend, but she said she can’t do this anymore. She has Amber to think about.”
“I need to talk to her.” Lynn stood on unsteady legs and dug in her pocket for her keys but finally realized that Sarah hadn’t given them back to her. Sarah gripped her good wrist and urged her to sit again.
“You’re not doing anything tonight. You’re doped up, and even if you weren’t, it’s four o’clock. Sleep a few hours, and maybe you can talk to her in the morning.”
“I thought she could love me,” Lynn said, more to herself than to anyone else. She wanted to cry, but hadn’t she expected it to happen? Had she really thought Jessie could be happy with her? “I believed that she wanted to give us a try. I should have known that this was all too good to be true. Lynn Patrick just isn’t meant to be happy. Jessie’s the only woman I’ve ever loved, did you know that?”
Karen sat next to her on the couch and put her arm around her, pulling her over so Lynn’s head rested on her shoulder. She stroked her hand through Lynn’s hair as she spoke to her. “I’m so sorry about all this, Lynn. I know you love her, and I know how hard this must be for you. It is what Jessie wants, though, and it might be for the best. She said she was worried you wanted more from her than she could give right now. Just let her have some space for a while and maybe she’ll change her mind.”
“How long does she expect me to wait?” Lynn asked irritably. She wished the pain meds they’d given her at the hospital would dull the ache in her chest. “I was going to move up here so that we could be together—so she wouldn’t have to uproot Amber and leave her family.”
“Three weeks ago she was straight,” Sarah pointed out quietly. “You were her first, Lynn. You know those relationships hardly ever work out.”
“This was different. She knew what she wanted.”
“How can you be so sure?” Sarah asked.
“People change their minds,” Karen added.
Lynn turned to look at her, trying to keep the room from spinning. “No, she told me just last night she wanted me to move in with her. That she’d never been more certain of anything. She came out to your mother, for God’s sake. Is that something that you do if you’re not sure? If you’re having second thoughts?”
Apparently neither of them had a response. Hot tears rolled down Lynn’s cheeks. Shit, maybe she is gay, and she’s decided it isn’t me she wants. She never actually said she loved me in that way. I’m such a fucking fool. Lynn wiped at the tears angrily, determined to get the thoughts out of her head.
“Babe, why don’t you go on to bed,” Sarah said to Karen. “I’ll get her situated in the spare room and be up in a minute.”
Karen nodded and stood up, but took Sarah into the kitchen to talk to her. They stood in the doorway, ob
viously to keep an eye on her, and Lynn chuckled humorlessly. It wasn’t as though she could go anywhere without her keys. She strained to hear their conversation.
“Jessie doesn’t want to talk to her,” Karen said. “I’ll explain it all to you after she leaves in the morning.”
Lynn felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart. She couldn’t deal with any more of it tonight. They were right—she needed to sleep for a few hours, and maybe she could convince Jessie to talk to her in the morning.
“You ready to go to bed?” Sarah asked after Karen had disappeared up the stairs.
Lynn nodded, not really caring if she slept in a bed or right there on the couch, or even on the floor. Sarah helped her stand and handed her a couple of pills. Lynn vaguely remembered the ER nurse giving them to Sarah in order to help her sleep. She took them without question and allowed Sarah to lead her upstairs.
“Will you stay here with me for a little bit?” Lynn was sitting on the bed, and Sarah had been about to walk out the door. Lynn held up her injured hand. “I don’t think I can undress myself with this cast on.”
Sarah nodded and then disappeared, but soon came back carrying Lynn’s duffel bag. Sarah untied and removed Lynn’s shoes, then began to unbutton her blouse.
“I’m sorry.” Lynn began to cry again, and Sarah sat next to her, resting one hand lightly on Lynn’s thigh. “I don’t know what the hell happened tonight, Sarah. My entire world just fell apart.”
“If you give her a little time, Jessie’ll come around.”
“I’ve spent so long hoping that someday she and I might get together. I’m thirty-three years old, Sarah. If she really wants this to be over, I have to try to make a new life, don’t I?”
Sarah sighed and nodded slowly. Sarah couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear, but Lynn had been wishing she’d have at least given her some kind of hope.
“Get some sleep,” Sarah told her. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
True Confessions Page 15
