by Montana Ash
“You should have seen your face!”
Beyden mock-growled, “You little shit!”
His response only made Lark laugh harder, the curse word sounding strange from his placid friend’s lips. Beyden rarely swore and was only just now beginning to not cringe every time their foul-mouthed liege turned the air blue with her colourful vocabulary.
“Funny,” Bey grunted, crossing his arms over his chest, his mouth forming what could only be described as a pout.
“Serves you right for riling up your sister that way. I’ll be lucky to get laid again this century,” Lark grumbled.
Bey winced, “Can you stop reminding me you’re sleeping with my sister?”
“Hey man, you brought it up when you parked your arse on me,” Lark pointed out.
“Yeah, yeah,” Beyden rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, back on track. Why are you going to the Lodge? Nobody is scheduled to go in today.” In fact, Lark thought, normal operations at the training centre had pretty much ground to a halt over the last two weeks. With the arrival of so many Orders and speculation rampant that something big was going down, training of the new recruits had been suspended.
Ryker hadn’t made a formal announcement but after the third time a fight had broken out between new trainees and old ones, Ryker had declared a cooling off period. Technically, he couldn’t shut down the training lodge without the approval of the local council, if not the international one, but he had spoken with Lake and they had agreed a few days with no gruelling training schedule would give the paladins and Orders some time to settle. Little did they know – a few days was not going to cut it. But it was a start and it was giving them the time they all needed to work through some logistics – including the missing Death Warden and the secret super chade.
It had been two weeks since Mordecai had dropped his paternal bombshell and they had all been expecting to hear news of Garrett’s messy demise. They had assumed Mordecai had left so abruptly because he was seeking out the head of the International Domain Council in order to demand answers about his son. But they had heard nothing from Mordecai or Garrett and had certainly seen no other evidence of Emmanuel – Garrett and Autumn’s long-dead-but-maybe-not-dead son. Ryker had grumbled and growled about it being proof of the death warden’s duplicity – that he was somehow involved and plotting something against Max. But Lark didn’t buy it, and even though Max pointedly ignored all talk of her father, he knew she didn’t really believe he was corrupt either. For one, Lark knew Mordecai had spent countless years hunting down chades and creating a good relationship with the rangers. Ivy had vouched for the older Scotsman and that was good enough for Lark.
Speaking of the chades, more and more chades were popping up, seeking healing, hope, and shelter. Lark had been prepared to head back out with Ivy in order to find more chades with souls but Max had told them it wouldn’t be necessary. At the time, he’d had no idea what she was referring to. But two days later, three chades had popped up out of the ground like freaking daisies right behind Dave’s. Lark had been there with Ivy, Ryker, Diana, Darius, Dex, and Max, checking on the newly healed ones inside. Ivy had promptly raised her sickle, its lethal edge coming within an inch of one of the chades’ necks. Only Max’s power over the air had saved the chade’s life, as she had halted the blade and pushed it off its course. After grumbling at the wall of bodies surrounding her and pushing her way past an unmovable Ryker, Max had smiled and welcomed the newcomers. She had then healed them and instantly charmed them at the same time. And just like that, they had three new redeemed earth wardens-come-chades on their side.
After that, the stream of chades seeking healing had become steady. Redeemable chades were being drawn to the hotel. Whether it was because of their brethren within or something else, Lark couldn’t say with certainty. But he did know that those malevolent, cursed creatures with no souls were likely being drawn to the big evil – Emmanuel – just as those with the potential for good were being drawn to Max. With that in mind, he asked;
“You going to check out the chade numbers?”
Bey shook his head, “I know training is in a moratorium at the moment, but someone should really check on the unbound paladins. They are all still awfully young and on their own.”
Lark studied his best friend. Everything he’d just said was very true but he couldn’t shake the feeling Beyden was holding something back, “What aren’t you telling me?”
Beyden pursed his lips, not answering. Lark sighed. He knew his best friend would not lie to him, so Beyden’s way around that? Don’t say anything at all. “Are you in trouble?” Lark asked, feeling worried.
“No. No trouble, I promise.” Bey was quick to assure him. Beyden looked at Lark for a few seconds before obviously reaching a decision. “Cas called me this morning. He, Leo, and Lawson have been keeping an eye on the Lodge for us, reporting which Orders have been arriving. Trent is here.”
Lark paused, “Trent? The dickbag who betrayed you?” Lark felt his anger rise on behalf of his friend.
Beyden rolled his eyes, “This is why I didn’t want to tell any of you. You all overreact.”
“Overreact? He’s the reason why you were disqualified from the Paladin Trials and all but exiled!” Lark fumed.
“It was a long time ago, Lark. We were all so young – practically kids. Trent did what he had to do for himself,” Beyden defended.
Lark didn’t doubt that for a minute. The other paladin had only been thinking of himself and not the consequences to his best friend. Bey had told him the whole story a long time ago. Just as Lark had revealed his past and his miserable father and Order. Lark knew Beyden hadn’t heard anything from his ‘best friend’ since the incident.
“Are you going so you can punch him in the face?” Lark asked, before quickly shaking his head. “Of course not. You would never do that because you’re too nice. I’ll come with you so I can do it for you,” he informed Beyden.
Bey was already shaking his head, “I don’t want him punched in the face. I just want to talk to him.”
Lark chewed on his lower lip for a moment, “Does Ryker know?” he asked.
Beyden narrowed his eyes at him, the usual light amber darkening by a few shades. It was a sure sign that the ever-patient man was getting annoyed. “He knows I’m going to the Lodge alone. He’s not happy about it but I reminded him of the Order link. I’m not like Max, I’ll keep it open and call for help if I get into trouble – which I won’t,” he added firmly.
“But Ryker doesn’t know about Trent,” Lark persisted.
“No,” Beyden gritted. “He doesn’t know about Trent. Are you going to tell mummy on me?”
Lark sighed, “Of course I’m not. I’m just concerned for you. That’s what friends do – real friends, anyway.”
Beyden lost some of his stiffness, “I know. And I appreciate it.” He clapped Lark on the back, sending him forward half a step, and Lark mock-punched him on the arm.
Ryker, Darius, and Beyden were always doing that to him and Axel. They were slighter than the giants and he knew it amused them no end. Lark didn’t really mind, he knew it was a form of affection. It was what friends did – what brothers did. He only hoped Beyden remembered who his real family was during his little reunion.
SIX
Beyden lowered the window in the car, despite the coolness of the air. Winter was fast-approaching and the weather was beginning to have a decided bite to it. But the cold sting felt good on his cheeks as he drove the twenty-odd minutes to the training lodge. He smiled in appreciation when he thought of Lark’s concern. He knew his friend was only thinking of his welfare, but it was a little exasperating too. Beyden knew everyone believed he was a pacifist at heart. That fighting, protecting, and killing chades wasn’t in his nature, and therefore, not something he wanted to do. But they were wrong.
Well, not about the pacifist part exactly. He abhorred senseless violence. But he had always wanted to find a place within an Order. Ryker was ri
ght when he said duty and service was in their blood. The need to serve the wardens of their world, who gave so much of themselves in order to maintain the precarious balance of nature, was just as much a part of him as any other paladin. He also wasn’t as even-tempered as people thought. He felt anger just as much as the next person and had certainly been furious over the incident which had ruined his standing in society. He just didn’t believe that anger got you anywhere – other than in trouble – which he had quickly discovered.
Seeing the violent reactions of his brethren and also the most esteemed members of their society after the incident when he was younger, had left him with a sour taste in his mouth for a long time. A taste he hadn’t been able to wash clean until Ryker had offered him a job at the training centre here in Australia, Beyden thought, as he pulled into the carpark. He had even been turned off the whole bonded-knight thing for a long time. But then Max had come along and cured him of that. He cut the engine, feeling nervous and wondering if he shouldn’t just turn right back around. Maybe it was best to leave Trent where he had been for the last eight years – firmly in the past. But there was so much he wanted answers to and this was his opportunity to get them. Perhaps, he would also get the apology he felt owed.
Unfolding himself from the SUV, he decided to head straight to the back where he would be meeting Trent in fifteen minutes. His nerves had caused him to arrive a little early, and he was helpless to stop his mind wandering back to the time that had changed his world forever.
He’d been young, and although he didn’t like to admit it, naïve. He had been filled with excitement and happiness over finally being old enough to undertake the Paladin Trials. He had enrolled at his local Training Lodge in his home country of Spain as soon as he could. It had been much smaller than the one he currently worked at, Beyden mused, wandering aimlessly through the large obstacle course filled with ramps, balancing beams, pits, and tyres. But it had been a formally registered location for the Paladin Trials. And at the time, the best part of it was that his best friend would be going through the testing process at the same time.
Beyden had been friends with Trent for over fifteen years by the time they were thirty and therefore able to undertake the Trials. They had both been filled with nerves but Beyden had welcomed his because they had been the result of anticipation of things yet to come. The first few days were demanding both physically and emotionally but Beyden had thought he’d been doing well. The pleased looks on the faces of the trainers had filled him with pride. But then, on the third day of the Paladin Trials, everything turned to shit.
He had entered the showers, towel slung around his hips after an intense twenty-kilometre run. He’d been focused on his aching muscles and tired legs and feeling rather sorry for himself, but he had still noticed the strange look on his best friend’s face as he began drying off. He shook his head now, wondering how he could have been so naïve as to not recognise the look on Trent’s face. Beyden leaned back against the obstacle course and let his mind drift back to that fateful day.
‘Trent? What’s up? You look kind of constipated,’ Beyden joked, keeping the towel in front of him as he dried off from his shower. He wasn’t necessarily shy but not having grown up with any other men resulted in him retaining some modesty in the locker room.
‘Huh?’ Trent stopped staring at him, quickly shaking his head, cheeks flaming. ‘It’s nothing. Forget it,’ he mumbled.
The reaction surprised Beyden. Not once had they ever avoided talking to each other in all their years of friendship. ‘Seriously, Trent. What is it? Do you need help? Are you in trouble?’
Trent laughed, seemingly finding Bey’s comment inexplicably funny, ‘Oh, I need help alright.’
Beyden quickly sat down, absentmindedly placing the now-wet towel over his lap, ‘What is it? You can tell me anything,’ he promised.
Trent turned to him, watching him closely for a moment before asking, ‘Really?’
‘Of course,’ Beyden replied, concerned Trent even felt the need to ask. Then, before he could say anything else, Trent was leaning forward and capturing his lips with his own. Beyden felt himself go still in shock; his best bud was kissing him! He pulled back, Trent’s lips futilely trying to follow. ‘Trent … huh?’
‘I love you, Beyden,’ Trent revealed, looking into Bey’s eyes. ‘I’m in love with you.’
‘You’re … what? In love with me? Since when?’ Not very articulate, but he was in shock. Trent laughed softly, placing his palms against Bey’s cheeks – lovingly! Bey could hardly process it;
‘Since forever, it feels like,’ Trent admitted. ‘I’ve always liked you – always felt a connection to you. And then, as we got older, my like turned to something more. I became attracted to you.’ Trent licked his lips, eyes roving over Bey’s mostly-naked body, ‘Very attracted to you. There are times when I swear you feel the same. But I’ve been too scared to say anything. Do you? Feel the same, I mean.’
Trent’s hope-filled eyes looked up and Bey felt his stomach knot; he was going to have to hurt his friend. ‘I’m sorry, Trent. I just don’t feel the same way. I love you,’ he was quick to assure his best friend. ‘I just don’t love you like that.’
Tears swam in Trent’s hazel eyes for a moment before being furiously blinked away, ‘Is it because I’m a guy?’
‘Well, kind of. Not that I have a problem with same-sex relationships,’ he said quickly. And it was true. That wasn’t even something he had to think about. He knew homosexuality was strictly taboo in their society. Their laws and regulations stated that only productive relationships would be recognised and accepted. What made a relationship productive? The sharing of vitality and the procreation of more wardens. Those were the only two options. Beyden fervently disagreed.
‘So, it’s just me then.’
Trent’s words were so low, Bey had to strain to hear them. ‘What? No! That isn’t it at all. It’s just … you’re my best friend and I just don’t ...’
‘You just don’t feel the same way. Fuck! This is so embarrassing,’ Trent rubbed furiously at his face and Bey saw the evidence of tears being hastily wiped away.
‘I’m sorry,’ Beyden said. And he was – truly. He had no idea Trent had been feeling this way. Trent just shrugged, pointedly not looking in his direction and he knew he had to act fast to ensure there was no lasting damage between them. Trent had a rather short fuse and tended to hold onto grudges.
‘Hey, look at me please,’ Beyden grabbed Trent’s face and held it securely between his palms. ‘This doesn’t change anything between us, okay? I –’
‘What the fuck is going on in here?!’
With those screamed words, Beyden’s entire life had changed. He rubbed his chest, surprised to feel the ache of hurt there. He thought he was over the whole mess. But then if he was, he supposed he wouldn’t be waiting behind the Lodge at the obstacle course for a person who had lied about him and ruined his reputation. When Drake had walked in and seen Beyden’s naked form, hands pressed to Trent’s face, he had assumed they were making out. Before Beyden could say anything, Trent had jumped up and told the older paladin that Beyden had come onto him. And not just come onto him, but had been pressuring Trent – forcing himself on his best friend. Beyden had been too shocked to defend himself immediately and that had also helped seal his fate. More paladins had walked in, drawn by the angry, raised voices and Beyden had known true fear for the very first time. One of the other paladins had yelled;
‘You think it’s okay to come onto someone who isn’t interested in you? And a dude on top of that? You sick fuck!’
And that was when they had attacked like a rabid pack. Beyden’s pleas and fumbled attempts to explain himself had been smothered by fists and boots. And throughout it all, his best friend had stood back watching, looking pale and devastated but not lifting a finger to help or take back his damning lies. Beyden had been expelled from the warden community after that and had never seen or heard from Trent again.
Picking a fight with the meanest, scariest bastard in town had been ridiculously easy, Beyden recalled. At the time Ryker had been a hairbreadth away from murdering anyone who even looked at him sideways. As a result, he had been holding what amounted to cage fights at the back of the training centre. Bare-knuckled fighting for anyone who had a problem with him or the people working with him. Or for anyone who needed a good brawl as an outlet. After watching Ryker KO some random paladin, Beyden had stepped up. He hadn’t been expecting to feel so exposed under those deep, brown eyes, but that is exactly what happened. Like he was being weighed and measured – and found wanting. You’d have thought that would have pissed him off more, but when he stepped into the makeshift ring – nothing more than a circle of surly, mean paladins – he’d found himself suddenly reluctant to participate.
So, instead of actually fighting Ryker, Beyden had only defended himself – blocking punches and dodging kicks. He’d found himself even more annoyed with himself; even when faced with raw violence and rage, he couldn’t understand it – couldn’t embrace it. His moment of introspection cost him a sucker punch to his jaw and he’d been eating dirt in the next heartbeat. He’d been expecting swift follow-up considering the man had him on the ground and Beyden knew he wasn’t worried about a fair fight. But it hadn’t happened.
