At once tears swam in her large green eyes. “Dayan.” She whispered his name softly, hopelessly, lovingly. “Don’t you think I would promise you if I could? I want that more than anything — I do, but I’m only human, I can’t do the impossible.” Her fingers tangled in his thick, dark hair. “I had a strange dream that your healers came to me and tried to help me. I know the doctors said I was dying — I heard them talking to Lisa. I heard her crying. Yet I’m still alive, and so is my daughter. Tell me.”
“Gregori did his best to repair your heart, Corinne, but the improvement is temporary, to give the baby a chance to grow. Darius said the child is strong and wants to live. We have that in our favor. It is a delicate balance, waiting until she is big enough to survive without you. Gregori wants a few more weeks for her. He is working with your heart to give us that time.”
“Then it wasn’t all a dream.” Corinne caught his head and lifted it so that he was forced to look at her. “What are you, Dayan? Was part of it a dream, or were you there too, helping them in some way?”
For the first time ever, his black gaze slid away from hers. He sat up straight, fussing with her covers. “I love you, Corinne,” he said softly. “I love you more than anything or anyone on this earth. You need to know that.”
“Look at me.” Corinne took his hand and brought it to her mouth, her breath warm against his skin. “Dayan, look at me, please.”
He sighed, and she could hear his heart pounding strongly. His reaction was unusual, and she knew it was significant in some way. “What is it that you think I can’t love in you? Because that’s what I feel. You’re giving me a part of you, but you don’t want me to know all of you. I feel connected to you. Strongly connected. We’re two halves of the same whole. I’ve been married, Dayan. I knew what I was supposed to feel. I loved John, but not in the same way. With you I feel everything and more. I could listen to you talk forever. Or simply sit beside you quietly without words. It would be enough for me. I want to be with you, but I don’t know who you are. You say you can love me because you know me through my mind. I don’t have that advantage. In order for me to know you, really know you, you have to talk to me. There’s a part of you closed off to me. Don’t you trust me to care for you no matter what it is?”
“You do not trust yourself. I can see into your mind, Corinne. I see you wrestling with doubts. You think it all happened too fast. That it is simply chemistry. Purely sexual. Or that it is just because you are pregnant and you need someone. You give yourself many reasons, many excuses for your feelings toward me. You do not say to yourself that you love me.”
Her eyes searched his black gaze. There was pain there, in the dark depths. He was hurt, and it upset her. “Dayan, you have probably always had the ability to read minds, so it is second nature to you, but to someone who isn’t telepathic it is uncomfortable. I am used to censoring my thoughts, choosing how I want to present myself to the world. You can see into my mind, but for some strange reason, it doesn’t bother me. If it were anyone else, including John or Lisa, I would be horrified that someone could read my thoughts. That should tell you something right there.”
“You think it tells
you
something, Corinne. I already know why you feel that way. You are my lifemate, the one who holds the light and compassion, guards these treasures for me. You are my anchor in a world of darkness and violence, of bleak emptiness. You are the other half of my soul. The best half. I know I need you far more than you will ever need me. I know these things. You have not come to terms with what you feel because you do not trust it. You do not entirely trust me.”
“How can you say that, Dayan? I’m here with you instead of in a hospital. I just met you, and some fairly bizarre things have happened, but I’m still with you.”
He laughed softly. “As I recall, you had no real choice in the matter. I picked you up and carried you out of the hospital. You were not in any condition to argue with me.”
“That’s not the point.” She was trying hard to find the energy to sit up. “I’m not the type of person to just go off with someone — that’s the point. Obviously, I feel
strongly
for you.” She plucked at the quilt with idle fingers. “The healer believes my heart will give out eventually, doesn’t he?”
“You knew it would. I have looked closely at your memories. You have been to many doctors. There is little hope,” he answered cautiously.
“Then you know I cannot possibly survive, Dayan,” she said quietly. “I don’t want you to think I’m
choosing
to leave you. I don’t have a choice.”
“You have a choice,” he replied softly. But he knew he wasn’t telling her the truth and he looked away from her, unable to tell the lie and look into her eyes. She didn’t have a choice because he wouldn’t allow her to die.
“You aren’t looking at me, Dayan,” she said softly. “You can’t have it both ways. If you’re not going to tell me the truth, don’t expect me to trust you implicitly. You don’t have to hide anything from me. If the healers told you my heart was failing, that isn’t exactly news to me.”
Dayan touched her mind with warmth and reassurance. “Your heart is failing. But I intend for you to live at any cost.” He said it starkly, without embellishment.
Her palm framed his face, studying his expression carefully. “I see what’s in your mind. I don’t know how, but I can read your thought right now. You think that somehow, miraculously, you’ll save me, even if the baby isn’t ready to be born when my heart fails. I don’t know how you think you can perform such a miracle, but, Dayan, if there is a chance for the baby, that’s what I have to concentrate on. She has to be saved.”
“The healer is doing his best for her, Corinne, but do not ask me to choose the child’s life over yours, because I will not.” This time he did look her directly in the eye, wanting her to know he was serious.
“Dayan,” she reprimanded softly, “the baby comes first. If there is a choice to be made between my daughter’s life or mine, you will instruct the healers to save her. If you can’t make that promise to me then you’ll have to take me back to the hospital and Lisa, where they’ll follow my instructions.”
Dayan shook his head. “They cannot do anything for you at the hospital. Gregori believes there is a good chance to save both of you. We are awaiting Shea, as she is our expert with infants. I will not take you back to the hospital. It would be a death sentence.”
“Then you will promise to put the baby’s life before mine.” She spoke sternly, her eyes wide and steady on his.
His fingers tightened around hers.
“You
are my life, Corinne, my world. I intend for both of you to live. You and the baby.”
“So tell me what the healers did.” She was struggling slightly, having every intention of sitting up.
“What are you doing?” Dayan touched her mind gently, learning that she wanted to see if she could sit up on her own before attempting to walk to the bathroom.
“I’m sitting up,” she said, trying to sound casual when she was really breaking out in a sweat with the effort and feeling shaky with fear for the baby. “Don’t change the subject. What did the healers do? It’s important to me, Dayan, for a lot of reasons. I have to feel in control. I want to know what’s happening in my life so I can plan things out. I’m a planner. Very organized.”
His eyebrow shot up. “A planner? Organized? I did not realize that about you. That changes everything, of course.” He reached out and casually lifted her into a sitting position, holding her close to him while she clung to his broad shoulders. He grinned down at her, his wild scent enveloping her. “I take your breath away, admit it.”
Corinne tried to calm her beating heart. Strangely, when she consciously thought about it, it seemed as if her heart actually followed her directions. She became aware of everything then, the sound of their combined heartbeats, the ebb and flow of their blood in thei
r bodies. The baby’s heartbeat.
She was hearing the baby’s heartbeat!
Wide-eyed, she stared up at him, accusation in her gaze. “You can’t count this time as legitimate breath robbing. Something strange is going on. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it, would you?”
Dayan looked completely innocent. He bent his head to brush a kiss on the top of her silky head because he couldn’t resist. “What are you accusing me of now, honey?”
She gave him her haughtiest expression. “I’m getting up.” She made it an announcement.
He stared down at her, observing rather pointedly that she was securely trapped in his enormously strong arms.
Enormously strong. Enormously. Are you getting that?
Corinne burst out laughing. “Of course I’m getting that. Lucky for you I don’t perceive it as a threat. Enormously strong. You sound like a teenage boy.” She tried to ignore the way he could turn her heart over with one melting look from his black eyes. “And why am I wanting to speak back to you in my mind? Am I becoming telepathic? Has that ability mysteriously rubbed off on me?”
“Everything about me is rubbing off on you. You are crazy about me.”
“You’re attempting to brainwash me,” she accused, trying not to laugh. He got away with far too much because she found him far too attractive. “I really am getting up, Dayan. You have to let go of me.”
“You do not have the strength to walk to the bathroom.” Dayan could read the determination in her mind. He rose with a fluid motion, taking her with him, and crossed the room to the bathroom.
Corinne wrapped her arm around his neck. “Where exactly am I?” She was looking around herself carefully. It was no cave. The bedroom was very spacious with high ceilings and beautiful walls. The furniture was expensive and ornate. She stared at the room in awe. “Where am I, Dayan?” she asked again.
“In my lair. I am a big bad wolf and I have captured you.” Very gently he set her feet on the tiles of the bathroom floor, his arms around her, holding her carefully. “You are shaking, honey. Is it because I am all male and you cannot help yourself, or because you are too weak to stand?”
“Good exit line,” she observed. She pointed to the door. “Out!”
Dayan hesitated. He had been teasing her, but he knew her body was weak. “You had better call me
immediately
if you need help. You do not have to call aloud to me — thinking is enough.”
“Get out!” Corinne said emphatically. “And stay out of my mind. I want
privacy,
Dayan. It’s humiliating enough having to be carried to the bathroom like a baby. I’m an independent woman, totally self-reliant at all times.”
Grumbling, Dayan gave in to her demands, leaving her alone in the room and going so far as to close the door behind him. Outside he began pacing back and forth with restless energy.
The healer said you needed complete bed rest. Dayan!
She half wailed his name, half laughed.
You’re not getting it.’ ‘I am keeping vigil. Standing guard.
Corinne refused to laugh and she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of replying. She stared at her pale face in the mirror, mildly shocked by her reflection. She looked different. She felt different.
Doing my duty. Watching out for my lifemate.
Dayan managed to sound put upon and abused.
Corinne shook her head, laughter bubbling up despite her resolve to ignore him. There was every amenity in the immaculate bathroom, and she took full advantage. She took her time brushing her teeth, mainly because it was difficult to stand and she needed to lean against the sink. She was surprised at how weak she was. Her legs felt rubbery, but her breathing was much easier.
Okay, Corinne, that is as patient as I can be under the circumstances. I feel your weakness, and you are still being stubborn. I am coming in. I want to brush my hair.
As soon as Corinne sent the message back to him, she realized she had communicated with him telepathically. Easily. Naturally.
Dayan shoved open the door and picked her up, his black eyes moving over her anxiously as he inspected her. “Do not panic simply because you have done something totally natural. I am your lifemate — of course you can talk to me. It is not the first time.”
Corinne was grateful for his hard strength, resting her head on his shoulder. “There was a difference, Dayan. You read my thoughts. I directed them to you in answer maybe, but you were reading what was in my mind. This time I
sent
you my thoughts, my words. That’s a very big difference.”
“Why should that alarm you?” he asked curiously, placing her carefully back in the bed. His hand rested on her small stomach as the baby moved inside her. He smiled. “See? She is happy and healthy. And she recognizes my voice now. She likes to hear me sing to her.” His impossibly long lashes came down to conceal his expression. “I wrote a lullaby for her.”
His words were a hesitant offering of love, rendering a seemingly invincible man vulnerable, and her heart melted again. She stretched both arms up to capture him, to bring his head down to hers so she could find his sculpted mouth with hers. Corinne couldn’t help herself, she just relaxed and allowed the world with all its troubles to whirl away from her until there was only Dayan. Dayan with his broad shoulders and strong arms and perfect mouth. There was no thinking when Dayan kissed her, only feeling. Pure feeling. He swept her into another world where there were no limits, where time and space meant nothing at all.
Her body flared to life, melting and shaping itself perfectly into his. She paid no attention to her crazy heart, the way it raced just because he was close to her. Nothing frightened her when he was kissing her. She felt strong, his other half. She felt as if she belonged. Corinne never wanted to stop. It was the baby, kicking strongly, thumping Dayan right through Corinne’s skin, that had them breaking apart, laughing softly in wonder.
“She is strong, isn’t she?” Corinne said softly, not hiding the expression in her eyes from him. She was tired of attempting to be practical. Dayan was the most wonderful man she’d ever met, and she wanted to be with him. Now more than ever. He made her feel beautiful even in the middle of her pregnancy. He made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world when her hair was tumbling out of control and she was wearing a man’s shirt to bed.
“You know how beautiful you are, Corinne,” he said, bringing her hand to his mouth. “You can touch my mind; you see what I feel for you.”
She tilted her head to look at him. “I know I can, but I’m not certain I want to actually do it. What am I going to find in there?”
His black eyes shimmered with hunger. Blatant. Stark. Raw. A terrible need. Corinne blushed and shook her head. “When I woke up, you weren’t singing the baby a lullaby. You wrote a song for me too, didn’t you?”
“Every song I write is for you.” He leaned close to her. “I must call Gregori and Darius to us. They wanted to know the minute you opened your eyes.” His grin was unrepentant. “We do not have to tell them everything.”
“What time is it?” Corinne was looking around the beautiful room. “And where am I? I should at least know that in case someone asks.”
He was a shadow in her mind, and he burst out laughing at her outrageous thoughts. “Of course you are still on planet Earth. I am not an alien.”
She shrugged. “Just checking — you never know these days. And you are a bit bizarre. Is your entire band here?” She tried to sound casual.
He tucked her hair behind her ear. She sounded apprehensive. “You are a bit of a chicken, Corinne. I did not realize that.”
“I am not,” she denied indignantly and then glared at him. “You’re doing it again. Every time I ask you a question, you deflect.”
His eyebrow shot up. “Deflect? I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Dayan” — her fingers tightened around his — “where am I?”
“This hom
e belongs to Gregori and Savannah. They do not reside here year-round; in fact, it is vacant most of the time. They have offered it generously for your recovery.” He looked around the room. “I am on the road most of the time traveling. It is a unique experience for me to stay in a place like this.”
“Do you mean a home?”
He shook his head, watching her carefully. “Home is wherever you and I are. On the road, traveling, as long as you and I and the baby are together, it will be home.”
“So you have it all planned out.”
Dayan nodded, still watching closely for her reaction, monitoring her thoughts. “You will come to love the others and the life we have. It is a good life, and we see many interesting places.” It occurred to him he would see each place differently now. There would be color and laughter and beauty.
He
was different now. He would see the beauty as he traveled through each city, each country. She had given him that priceless gift. Never again would his world be one of shadows and darkness.
“It’s nice that you have such optimism, Dayan,” she replied cautiously. There was no point in arguing with him when he was so set on believing she could survive the birth of the baby. The last thing she wanted was to bring up the fact that she had no future. She wanted Dayan to promise her that his healers would save the baby if there was a choice to be made.
Dayan shook his head as he read her thoughts. She would live. He would move heaven and earth if he had to, but she would live. “I have summoned Darius and Gregori.” He wanted to prepare her for visitors, knowing she found it difficult to be with strangers. Corinne had led a solitary life in the midst of people. She was very private and reserved with those outside her family. “Darius is my family, Corinne — a man I know and would give my life for. I trust him and his judgment.”
Dark Melody (Dark Series - book 12) Page 21
