by Otto Penzler
“But what of the drivers? They wear the ends of the reins wrapped around their bodies—wouldn’t such crack-ups be dangerous?”
“Of course,” he replied indifferently. “If they were quick, they might cut themselves free with their daggers—or they might be killed. That’s the chance you take in Rome.”
The odds had been twenty-to-one. I won almost fifty silver shekels, even after the bookmaker had taken his commission.
I soon discovered that, even at Herod’s court, a girl can have many friends after she’s won fifty shekels. It was astonishing how many of the court ladies were short on spending money. They came to me for little loans—which they never paid back; and by way of compensation, they included me in their conversation, most of which was catty—if not positively evil. They seldom came right out and said anything vicious. But they were full of hints and innuendos. According to them, the King was in love with Salome.
“And, my dear, his interest isn’t entirely fatherly,” one of them giggled.
I didn’t like to hear this, even though I felt it might be true. The King’s attitude toward Salome was anything but decorous. Still, the thing they hinted at was perfectly monstrous—and I doubted if even Herod, who had defied the Law by taking his brother’s wife, would pile incest on incest by now making love to his stepdaughter.
“Whatever the King may lack,” I said, “He is still our King—and the only protection we have from the Romans. And as long as we are members of his household, we owe him our loyalty and our patriotism.”
“Listen to her silly preaching!” laughed an Athenian girl named Enid. “Of all people! If Herod wasn’t in love with Salome, little Miriam wouldn’t be here!”
I didn’t like this Enid. She had a long jaw that kept her from being pretty, so she tried to attract attention to her figure. To make sure of this, she walked with her hips thrust out in a most preposterous and vulgar way. She had borrowed more from me than the others. Maybe that was why she was always giving me digs.
“What do you mean?” I flared.
“Oh, please, Miriam!” She glanced over her shoulder at her hips with an air of exaggerated patience and languor. “You of all people shouldn’t be naive! Don’t you realize that the King brought you here to keep Jason away from Salome?”
“You are absolutely insane!” I retorted. “I never heard of anything so stupid! The King is the King! If he doesn’t like Jason, he can send him away!”
“What a dull little thing you are! Herod isn’t rude to one who’s been favored by Pontius Pilate!”
“But how do I fit into his plans?”
“Darling, are you actually asking me to tell you? I was hoping we could be more delicate. Why do you think the King gave you this lovely room with a window—so accessible from the gardens?”
“Get out!” My face was flaming, “Get out! I won’t answer your filthy accusations! I never want to see any of you again!”
Enid strutted toward the door, followed by the others. Their steps were insolent and leisurely.
“All right, we’ll go, my dear! There’s no need to be shrill. After all it isn’t our fault that the King’s plan miscarried—and that the Greek prefers Salome. He never goes near you except when he is commanded, and even then he scarcely dares speak—he’s so afraid of Salome. No wonder you’re jealous!”
When they were gone I threw myself on the couch and cried. I wished I could go back home to Jerusalem. I longed for a life that was clean and decent. The court and everyone in it was hateful. I wanted you, father. I wanted to crawl in your lap, like a little girl, and to forget everything.
But that afternoon we were ordered to accompany the King to the famous mineral hot baths, south of the city.
I sent word that I was too ill to go to the baths. But they refused to accept my excuses. Queen Herodias herself came to persuade me. Her attitude was almost motherly, and she was so serene and dignified that it was hard to argue with her. She said the baths were good for all sorts of ailments and were bound to make me feel better. Furthermore, she said that the King had sent her to tell me that Jason was waiting. I wondered if she knew that she and I were both pawns in his love game. But I didn’t dare ask. I was too discouraged to do anything but submit. I let her take my hand and lead me out to Jason’s chariot.
He was driving the Arabians and he looked very handsome. At once he began his amiable chatter.
“Please,” I said. “There is no need to be charming. I know that you are with me only because of the King’s orders.”
His look was pained. “Miriam, you don’t understand—”
“I think I do. Your father was a slave and you are a slave—a slave to your ambitions.”
I wanted to hurt him. The anger flushed up behind his sunburn. He lashed the horses and the chariot spun forward ahead of the rest of the procession. He didn’t draw rein until we had reached the baths.
“Miriam,” he said. “You have to believe me!”
“Why should I? I know that you have lied to me. You even told me that these horses weren’t yours!”
“In a way, they aren’t,” he said. “These horses were the property of the White Syndicate. I took them from Rome with me when I retired from racing.”
“You stole those horses?” I made my voice scornful. “You are dishonest—and more foolhardy than your reckless nature seems capable of being.”
“Well, why not!” he exclaimed. “They’re my luck! Longinus apprenticed me to a charioteer after my father died, and I won two hundred and thirty-nine victories with these horses in the Circus Maximus. They made me a millionaire!”
“But you are not satisfied with being a millionaire! You must have the love of a princess, even though you have to share that love with her stepfather! You are as evil as they are!”
He restrained me as I started to leave the chariot.
“Please, Miriam!” he begged. “I know you have good reason to be angry. But doesn’t the fact that I let my horses win for you mean anything? I had planned to keep that trick up my sleeve.”
“I don’t doubt it! And I still don’t know why you became so generous—I don’t want your pity! And I don’t want your favors!” I flung myself out of the chariot.
The rest of the royal procession was driving up just then. Salome looked hatefully at me and even the Queen seemed irritated. But Herod was smiling and bland. We went into the baths.
I was relieved to see that the men’s and women’s quarters were separate. I hadn’t known what to expect. As soon as we were in the women’s section, Salome and the others threw their clothes off. I found a dark spot in a corner of the steam room and tried to be inconspicuous. The Queen had a pitcher of wine brought to her. It was the first time I had seen her drink. She explained that she did this to increase her perspiration. After a while she and her favorites played ball with a sphere stuffed with feathers. They caught it with their right hands and threw it with their left. Soon the Queen and an Abyssinian girl grabbed for the ball at the same time, and began to wrestle for it.
I clutched a towel around myself and tried to stay out of their way, as they grunted and strained in their efforts to throw each other. But they kept bumping into me and I had the feeling that these accidents were deliberate.
Finally I got away—only to face new tormenters. Salome and her girls were rushing around the room, rolling light metal hoops. I did my best to avoid them. But inevitably, Salome ran her hoop across my feet.
“Excuse me!” she would cry mockingly—then hit me with the stick she used to guide the hoop. “Oh, I’m sorry!” she would laugh.
The other girls were quick to take up the game. No matter where I went, they came toward me screeching, “You clumsy slattern! Get out of our way!”
I was so angry I forgot I didn’t have any clothes on. I wanted to hit Salome and pull her hair and throw her on the pavement—even if the other girls all fought on her side. I knew I would be punished, but I didn’t care. You can endure just so much. I wrested the stic
k from her hand and aimed a blow at her.
But before it could land, the other girls surrounded me and with shrieks and shouts, bore me through the great bronze doors to the plunge. They threw me in and leaped in after me. The water was hot. It smelled of sulphur and had a bitter, salty taste. I was ducked several times, then suddenly they let me alone and I crawled out and got dressed. The others, by now, were splashing in the showers or being massaged by the serving women. I slipped out of the building, without waiting for this.
A peasant woman with some donkeys was passing. I asked her to take me back to Tiberias. The road was dusty and the donkeys slow.
It wasn’t long before my skin started itching and my eyes watering. From my sandals to my headband, I was feverish. I felt so ill I hardly noticed that a chariot was overtaking us. Jason swung the horses across the path of the donkeys.
“Get down!” he shouted, “Get down, you little fool!”
He was out of the chariot, reaching strong hands up to me.
“You poor little thing, I know what they did to you at the baths—”
“Don’t touch me!” One of his arms was beneath my knees, the other around my shoulders. He carried me toward a thicket at the side of the road. The bewildered peasant woman made no effort to stop him. Beneath the shadows of gnarled olive trees the air was close and heavy with the fragrance of blossoming almonds. I could hardly breathe.
“Take off your clothes.” He put me down beside a little stream. “You must bathe in fresh water.”
“No—!” I backed away from him.
“You little idiot, don’t you see their treacherous scheme? If you don’t bathe in fresh water after the sulphur plunge, your skin will become blotched and hideous.” He gripped my shoulders and shook me roughly. “I’ll not have your beauty marred—you are the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen! Do as I tell you or I’ll strip you and throw you in!”
As though reading my thoughts, he suddenly relaxed. His smile was gentle, and his voice tender.
“Don’t be afraid. I’ll go back down the path and wait.”
He kissed my forehead and turned back into the bushes beneath the dark trees.
The brook was cool and refreshing. I lay back on the soft sand and let the waters rush over me. The ripples moved caressingly. All the discomfort and the fever was washed away. A sweet and dreamy lassitude overcame me. I wondered if he was watching from the depths of the thicket. But I didn’t think so.
And then I wondered why he didn’t come. Perhaps he only protected me as a child is protected. Was this another of his pitying favors? If a man really loved a woman, he could not stay away from her.
There was a stir in the undergrowth. Enid and the simpering Greek, Philo, stood looking at me.
“Oh, excuse us!” tittered Enid. “We saw Jason’s chariot, so we sneaked in to see what he was up to. Of course, we didn’t dream—!”
She turned as she saw Jason coming toward her.
“Thorry to dithturb your little idyl,” lisped Philo.
Jason threw a stone and the intruders ran laughing into the thicket. We both knew they’d make a malicious scandal of what they had seen as soon as they got back to Tiberias.
While Jason turned his back, I put my clothes on and we drove home in worried silence.
That night I didn’t go to the dining hall for supper. And no one came to persuade me. As soon as it was dark, I took a dark cloak and what money I had left and slipped out through a side gate. Staying close to the walls in the dark streets, I headed for the fishing quarter at the shores of the Sea of Galilee.
The fishermen’s nets, on drying racks, looked like acres of delicate lace in the moonlight. Shadowy figures were removing them. The sky was threatening and we were close to the season of spring rains.
I approached a slight, aristocratic-looking young man who was struggling rather clumsily to fold up some of the nets. He listened sympathetically as I told him that I was the daughter of Caiphas, the High Priest, and that I had to get home to Jerusalem.
“It is a dangerous journey,” he said with a kindly smile. “A desperate journey for a young girl. After the waters of the Galilee enter into the Jordan, the course is swift and tortuous. And the eastern shore is peopled with savage Bedouins—”
“I know! But anything is better than Tiberias! If I stay here I’ll surely die! I’ll pay you anything!”
“It isn’t the pay.” There was a deprecating smile on his fine Jewish features. “It is just that I am not a boatman. My name is Matthew—I used to be a tax gatherer. So you see, I have not been trained to do anything very useful.”
He turned and pointed to a camp fire farther up the beach, where a number of men sat around the flames.
“But some of my friends are fishermen, very good fishermen—Peter and Andrew and James. Our Master teaches us that we must love our neighbors as ourselves—so I am sure that they will help you.”
“Oh, if they only would!”
He hurried away toward the camp fire. Something about the man had given me reassurance and a certain feeling of hope.
And then from among the shadows and the foamy nets, I saw Jason’s tall figure before me. I turned toward the boats drawn up on the sand. I didn’t want to talk to him.
“Don’t go, Miriam!”
“I have to—you shouldn’t have followed me—”
“If you go, I must go with you. I will be your boatman.” He took my hand. “Whither thou goest, I shall go—thy people shall be my people, and thy god, my god.”
“Please, don’t mock me! Leave me alone!”
“I can never do that, dearest! God knows I have tried not to love you. I was a slave to ambition as you said—but now, I have forgotten everything—but you.”
“If I could only believe you!”
The silvery moonlight, through the thick, scudding clouds, cast an uneven causeway across the waters. The far shores of Galilee, the savage shores, were wrapped in beckoning mystery.
“Come!” Jason lifted me into a boat and pushed it into the water. With a hasty movement he picked up the sweep and poled us out of the shallows.
I lay back against the rough wood and looked up toward the dappled heavens. Why did I always surrender? I seemed to have no will when Jason was near me. Still, if he was telling the truth, if he really loved me—
“Was Salome angry?” I asked.
“Furious! She made a terrible scene!”
“Are you sure that you want to leave her? That you don’t love her?”
“Love! That woman doesn’t know what it is to love! For months she just kept me dangling—simply playing with me.”
“It is hard to believe that any woman could do that to you, Jason. You seem so sure of yourself.”
“She is a princess,” he said bitterly. “And the stakes were high. I learned to gamble when I was a charioteer. Herod is a worthless puppet. Everyone in Rome despises him and Salome is of royal blood. Her husband would be in a position to guarantee the Eastern empire. He might become emperor himself when Tiberius dies—”
“You dreamed of that!”
“Why not! I have a fortune and so has Salome. The throne will be sold by the Praetorian Guard—the palace troops control the empire. But all that is forgotten. Let’s not talk about it any more.”
I didn’t want to talk. I was too happy. Jason raised the sail and little gusts of wind propelled us southward. He came forward and lay beside me. We looked up at the changing sky.
Then, without warning, the squall broke upon us. The sail was split with a roar like a bull. Shredded canvas whipped in the wind as the boat was lashed by the fury of the spring rains.
Jason scrambled to the sweep, struggling awkwardly to keep us from the trough of the waves. I was drenched as I fought to take in the whipping fragments of the tattered sail. Then the whole keel shivered as the craggy nose of a concealed rock forced its way through the splintering wood. The waves closed over us and I felt Jason’s arm around me. I sank into a swirl of thunder an
d darkness.
How long it lasted I will never know exactly. After a time my mind struggled toward consciousness—only to slip back to oblivion again. In these rare, half-lucid moments it seemed that I was again in my room in Herod’s palace. Once I seemed to see Jason’s face bending over me and feel his hand behind my head. A cup was pressed to my lips and I heard him say, “Drink, Miriam, dearest, you must get strong and well for my sake.”
Finally the fever left me and I returned to the consciousness of a bright, sunshiny day. It hadn’t been a hallucination. Outside the windows of my room in the palace the trees were in full blossom. But my chamber had the untidiness of a sick room. I crawled from beneath the covers and looked at myself in the steel mirror. It was a thin, drawn face that looked back at me. I rang for the serving maid, but she did not come.
Finally, trembling and pausing to rest at frequent intervals, I managed to wash myself and dress in clean clothes. Then, supporting myself with a hand against the wall, I faltered out into the corridors. There was a littered, deserted look to the halls. The serving women, in untidy dress, gossiped in slatternly clusters. When I talked to them their looks were bold and insolent and their words just barely courteous. They told me that Herod and the entire court had returned to Jerusalem to celebrate the holidays.
I returned to my room to find one of the lesser servants—a girl about as old as I am—putting my gold hairpins in her hair. When she saw me, she made a guilty movement and knocked over the alabaster lamp—the one that Jason had given me. It smashed upon the floor.
I was so angry I snatched a girdle from the wardrobe and began to whip her with it. She dropped to her knees and whined for mercy.
“Stop sniveling!” I said. “And tell me what has happened. Take me to Jason!”
“He has gone—on the day after the Princess and the women’s caravan left for Jerusalem. Enid came back here with a message for Jason.”
“And?”
“It seemed to disturb him. He had not left your side since the night of the great storm. He put on his traveling cloak. Then he threw it aside. He walked in the gardens, hour after hour. He called for his chariot, then he returned it to the stables. It was not the first message the Princess had sent to him, but he had rejected all the others with curses. Now after many black looks he called for the chariot again and drove away toward Jerusalem.”
