“Relaxed?”
He cocked his head. “C’mon, man. I know about Diana.”
Scott froze. “How do you know about that?”
“So it’s true. I didn’t know for sure.”
“Shit, Wallace. What the hell?” Couldn’t he have anything private in his life that was his? Just his? Couldn’t his loving family stay off his ass for a second and let him figure things out on his own?
“It’s Gen. She said that you and Diana look at each other like you’re doing it.”
Scott felt a scowl coming on. “And I guess she’s an authority on the subject.”
“Actually, yeah.” Wallace grinned. “But please don’t tell me you’re having booty calls with Mrs. Paulsen’s granddaughter.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you.”
Wallace winced. “Ah, crap.”
“It’s not like that. This is what she wants. Friends with benefits. That’s it.” He gulped down half of another water bottle, and crunched the plastic in his hand.
Wallace laughed. “Yeah, right. You believe that?”
“Hell, I don’t know what to believe anymore. All I know is she doesn’t trust me.”
“Or maybe she doesn’t trust herself with you.” Wallace downed the contents of a water bottle, then studied Scott. “When’s the last time you let yourself have fun?”
Yesterday, he almost said, when he’d been lost and buried deep in Diana. When she’d wrapped her long legs around his back and urged him to go faster. Deeper. Before that, he couldn’t say. Fun was a four letter word when there was so much to be done.
“I had most of my fun before I turned eighteen. You of all people know that.” Fast cars. Underage drinking. Trouble personified. More than anyone, Wallace understood.
“And ever since then you’ve been in payback mode. But you were a stupid kid, not a criminal. You’ve already helped more people than you ever hurt.”
Except for Jake. And Scott couldn’t help it, but that one failure seemed to outshine everything else he’d done. Which made him angry, truth be told, and that’s where the sledgehammer came in.
“I say you go for it,” Wallace said. “Don’t worry about what any of us say or think. Let yourself be happy. If she makes you happy, then go for it. Booty call and all. Just don’t tell Gen I said that.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is. Look, I know what it’s like to be all up in your head about something. It took me years to admit I was in love with Gen.”
“And now look at you. You’re both disgusting.”
He gave him a wide grin. “You’d love to be me, admit it.”
Regular sex? Yeah, he could handle that. Never had that much in his life between his tours in the Army. And Diana? Yeah, she made him crazy. But this also felt wrong. As much as he wanted to keep them private, he didn’t want to hide. Hiding made it feel like a dirty little secret and she wasn’t that to him. Not even close.
But then again, she’d already made it clear what she wanted from him.
“If you want to give it a go with this girl, you’re going to have to be honest and real with her.”
“You don’t mean Jake.”
“Yeah, I mean Jake. What happened there changed who you are a little bit. It’s still raw, painful.”
Exactly, and all the more reason he wouldn’t tell her. Knowing Diana, she’d only feel sorry for him. He wanted her to feel a lot of things for him, but sorry wasn’t one of them.
Scott leaned against what was left of the counter. “That I can’t do.”
“And why not?”
“She has enough on her plate.”
“And you don’t? I’m telling you, the longer you keep it inside, the more it’s going to fester until it changes even more of who you are. And she might not understand when you pull away without even realizing that’s what you’re doing. She’ll think it’s because of her and take it personally.”
Scott stared. “Where the hell are you getting this crap?”
“Gen makes me watch Dr. Phil with her sometimes.” Now it was Wallace’s turn to wield the sledgehammer with a loud whack. The tile made a satisfying crack, and he turned to Scott. “The things I do for love.”
Chapter 17
At the end of the day, Scott wanted nothing but a shower, a beer and a bed. He should have headed to The Tavern where he’d likely run into some of his ex-Army buds, if not the pussy ex-Air Force guys that hung out with Joe from time to time. Sometimes being with the brotherhood was the only thing that made his stupid life make any sense at all. Despite all that, he found himself at Diana’s door instead.
He was no different from a junkie, looking for his next fix.
She didn’t look surprised to see him as she opened the door. “I just got back from Gran’s. You should see the place now. It’s a big improvement.”
Today he’d been wrecking and she’d been building. Interesting metaphor for their lives. “While you were doing that, I wrecked a kitchen. Tomorrow we put it back together.”
“Do you want a beer?” she reached inside her refrigerator and pulled a cold one out.
Interesting, since the last time he’d looked in her fridge he’d seen nothing but water bottles and milk.
He untwisted the cap and took only a sip of it, letting his gaze slowly slide down her body. Recently she’d stopped wearing the unimaginative jeans and peasant tops, and had reverted back to her tight jeans and tank tops. He didn’t know why but wasn’t about to complain.
“What are you looking at?” she said.
“You.”
She blushed. “I had to stop wearing the mom jeans. Mandy made me.”
“Yeah?”
“She considers them a blight on the planet.”
He hoped he’d at least been some influence on her decision to stop covering it all up. If he hadn’t already shown her how much he loved what she had under there, he didn’t know what else he could do.
He set the bottle down. “We haven’t been jogging for a while.”
“Yes, and thank you for that.”
“It was your idea.”
“I would have given up on it after day one if not for my partner.”
Partner. Why did he like the sound of that word coming out of her lips? But he had to call bullshit. Partners shared the worst with each other, and he hadn’t done anything even close to that with her. He wondered which one of them had the bigger trust issues.
“Got any plans today?” He had an idea brewing, though he wasn’t sure how she’d like it.
“I was going to have some dinner, and then … and then…” She chewed her lower lip, hesitating.
“And…?”
“I was going to call you, but you showed up.”
“That was pretty awesome of me.”
She nudged his shoulder. “Okay, buddy.”
He grabbed her and pulled her close, about to show her how much of a buddy he wasn’t. Her hands immediately slid up his back and settled around his neck. The move had begun to feel familiar and comfortable. Like her.
“Would you go somewhere with me? Tonight?”
Her eyes locked with his and unless he was fooling himself, and there was every possibility of that, he thought he caught a nugget of trust in them. He’d take it.
“Where to?”
“It’s a surprise.”
***
Diana didn’t much care for surprises, but one glance in Scott’s dark green eyes and she couldn’t say no. A few minutes later, they were on their way in Scott’s truck. He drove to the outskirts of town on county land, and she found that she wondered with every mile where in the hell he was taking her. It wasn’t until he turned on to the dirt road that she realized exactly where they were headed.
The lake. “This isn’t funny. Why here of all places?”
He didn’t answer, only took her hand and squeezed it once. He pulled further in on the dirt road and parked. “We’re finally here together.”
“Yeah. Twelve y
ears too late.”
He hopped out of the truck and then came around to her passenger side door. “Maybe I wanted a re-do.”
She didn’t move. This pretty little piece of Starlight Hill, the clean and pristine lake, was nothing but an unpleasant memory. A little grove where teenagers congregated to have fun and drink. And a place that reminded her of a time when she didn’t belong.
He braced one arm on the frame of the door and the other on the hood. “Come with me.”
She wasn’t sure why he wanted her to face an unpleasant memory or remind her of his own untrustworthiness. He’d more than showed her that he’d changed, so why now? A re-do? They weren’t sixteen anymore.
“Why now?” This, now, coming back to a place that held more importance than it probably should didn’t make much sense.
He put out his hand to her. “I want a second chance.”
Those words made her heart turn over. Because she found that she had a difficult time refusing him much of anything lately, she took his outstretched hand. “All right. You get your re-do.”
She walked hand in hand with him along the edge of the lake. Even though it was a small lake, it too had suffered from the drought, tree roots exposed along the edge where once water had covered them. The old pier looked ancient now, weathered from the years. Dusk had fallen and the air seemed unnaturally quiet.
“No longer a teen hangout like it used to be?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t been here in years.”
“Do you still have trouble finding your way here?” It was a dig to the fact that he’d never shown up, and dammit she wasn’t sorry to remind him of it.
“Yeah. I was having a little trouble getting arrested that night.”
“What?”
“I wanted to see how fast that Mustang could go and as it turned out, pretty damned fast. My first ticket, exhibition of speed.”
She stopped walking. “It was that night?”
“You don’t think anything else would have kept me away, do you?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I should have. Honestly, it wasn’t my proudest moment, and it became easier to let you believe I’d blown you off. Even though it wasn’t intentional, that’s exactly what I wound up doing anyway. Because I was into fast cars, and that Mustang was pretty sweet.”
“But…arrested for exhibition of speed?”
Scott avoided her eyes. “It was a little more complicated than that. My friend and I sort of borrowed the car without permission. So…we were arrested for that. But later the owner refused to press charges. After Wallace talked to him, of course.”
She covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. Scott looked mortified to tell her, and she felt a sudden rush of affection for him. “I didn’t realize I was dating a criminal.”
“You think you’re funny?” He pulled her closer.
The thought that if not for a stupid teenage indiscretion, he might have met her here twelve years ago did something to her. Something a little wild. “What would you have done if you’d met me here back then?”
He chuckled. “I didn’t have much experience when I was sixteen, but I think I would have held your hand like this.”
His fingers threaded through hers.
“Nice move.”
“Really. How far would that have taken me with your sixteen-year-old self?”
“Not far, but don’t blame the move. Mandy was the bad girl. I was a good girl.”
He squeezed her hand. “You still are a good girl. Very good.”
He stopped beside a tree at the edge, its gnarled roots reaching out of the ground on a desperate quest for water. Poor tree. Scott pulled her in close and one hand on her chin, he raised her face to his. “And I would have kissed you like this.”
His lips brushed softly against hers, a chaste kiss. So incredibly sweet and touching, and she got caught up in the moment and in him. She’d never had the boy all those years ago, but in front of her now stood the man. He was a good man, too, whether he realized it yet or not. Living a little bit on the edge sometimes, rescuing too many people who might not even need rescuing, but now she saw a little bit of the boy who felt like he had some making up to do. Some debts to settle.
Just not with her. “I’m not looking for an apology. It was a long time ago, and we were kids.”
His thumb swept across her jawline. “True. Only I can’t help but think you might trust me more if not for that one day.”
A tingle went up her spine. It wasn’t him, but relationships in general that she didn’t fully trust. All the expectations. She trusted him as a friend, but didn’t want to burden him with her family’s troubles. He already had plenty of his own to worry over. “I trust you now. Isn’t that all that matters?”
“Do you?”
“I trust you’re always going to try and do the right thing.” I’m just not sure if I know what that is either.
“I hope you trust I’m not playing with you.” This time when he kissed her, he deepened the kiss, taking it slow and tender, making her feel and long for every inch of his tongue.
She ached for more of every part of him. Her hands came up to his t-shirt and she clutched at the soft cotton, falling deeper under his spell. Her legs turned to liquid underneath her and could hardly hold her up by the time they both pulled away, breathless. How had this happened, exactly? They’d moved seamlessly from friends to something entirely different. Lovers. Not friends with benefits, which was a joke. Maybe some people could do it successfully but not her.
Even with Scott’s words ringing in her ears she didn’t know if she could trust this—him—all of it. He might be hers for now, but no one could count on forever. Least of all her. But she could enjoy this, and him, for as long as it lasted. No holds barred. She needed to live big and wide like he already had, and do it without holding back.
“Wanna get wet?” He nudged his chin toward the lake.
“We didn’t bring anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I have some towels and a blanket in my truck.”
“You didn’t by chance bring a swimsuit for me, size te—I mean, eight?”
“Swimsuits are a luxury we don’t need.” He pulled off his shirt and next went his boots.
Diana stood mesmerized, watching the man undress down to his boxers. She checked to make sure she wasn’t drooling and pressed her lips together, shutting her slackened jaw. He was so beautiful, so perfect and comfortable in his own skin. “Skinny dipping?”
“I’ll let you keep your underwear on.” He waded out to the middle of the lake where the water came up to his neck.
She’d never done anything so crazy in her entire life. Back in high school, a few of the kids had gone skinny dipping at an end of the year senior party for the yearbook club. Diana had not taken off a stitch of clothes because that year she’d gained a lot of weight. At a size sixteen, she’d decided to spare everyone else from the sight of her fat ass. Instead she’d watched as the kids with good bodies swam with the other kids who had rocking bods.
But she didn’t have a fat ass anymore. Not for a long while. Despite the mean spirited comments on the Internet videos, she hadn’t been fat since her second year at college, after the freshman fifteen had become the freshman twenty-five and she’d taken up swimming. With a one piece swimsuit, of course.
More than anyone else, Scott had helped her see herself for the first time in a long time. She saw herself in his eyes. Beautiful. Curvy. Desirable. His.
“Don’t make me come out and get you.”
She hesitated only a moment longer, but it was only when he waded towards her that she pulled off her top first, kicked off her sandals and pants and stepped in the lake wearing her (thankfully) matching red satin demi bra and panties. She allowed herself a moment to enjoy Scott’s lusty expression before her body was covered by the cold water.
She gasped. “It’s cold.”
They met in the middle. “Remind me to take you swimming in
your underwear again sometime.”
She wrapped her legs around his waist and held tight onto his shoulders. “Fire engine red. For you.”
“Yeah?” He nuzzled her neck.
She trembled in his arms and not just from the frigid water.
“You cold? Let me warm you up.”
He proceeded to do just that, his warm tongue trailing down the column of her neck to her shoulder where he used his teeth to tease the bra strap down. It was the perfect combination of heat mixed with the icy water and rapidly descending temperatures as night fell. He pulled the bra cup down, exposing her wet nipple to the cold night air. It had peaked before he’d even touched her. He grinned and caught her gaze.
“I’m cold!” she protested.
He laughed and covered her hard nipple with his mouth and talented tongue. She moaned and tightened her legs around him, rocking and gyrating against his erection. He, apparently, didn’t seem to be physically shrinking from the cold. To keep it that way, her hand dove under the water, inside his boxers, and stroked him the way he liked.
He groaned. “Oh, fuck.”
“Okay, yes. What a great idea.”
Only Scott managed to make her feel like a desirable woman, and he’d done it again in this little lake under nothing else but the moonlight and a smattering of stars. Not to be outdone by her, his fingers were already sliding into her panties and inside her, causing her to feel erotic sensations she didn’t think were possible in the water. She opened her legs wider for him, knowing exactly what she wanted and that only he would be the one to give it to her.
Suddenly Scott pulled back. “Wait.”
So not what she wanted to hear.
“Wait, what?” She doggie paddled when he let her go and swam away from her, back towards their clothes. She closed her eyes and pictured one single positive thought. Please have a condom. Please have a condom. Diana squeaked and nearly went into cardiac arrest when she felt some…thing lightly touch her foot.
But a second later, Scott emerged from the water right behind her, grinning.
“How— how did you do that?” Yes, her eyes were closed but she hadn’t even heard him get back in the water.
Unforgettable You (Starlight Hill Series Book 4) Page 21
