by Shaw, Robin
“Things have been crazy this week. I am working overtime this week. I’ve got to be on top of my classes, work, and I haven’t taken Riley on a walk.”
Her mouth curved into a faint smile, but she couldn’t mask her discontentment. “I know what college was like. I just graduated this summer. Didn’t you say that you have a dog walker?”
I felt my face strain to not frown. We hadn’t done much talking when we’d hooked up last week. After I let her wash up in my bathroom, she’d come out of the door and hadn’t looked at Riley, who had been a few inches away from her. She’d tried to assure me that she was a dog lover, but it wasn’t so. Riley must’ve known it too and deemed that she wasn’t going to convince her she was a great pet and companion. I didn’t mind if a girl I was messing with didn’t care for animals, but I didn’t want her to try to be something she wasn’t. And Riley hadn’t hidden her dislike of her, because she’d stared me down after Jill had left.
“She needs to know that she can depend on me,” I simply said. I wanted to tell her that pussy took a backseat to Riley every day of the week, but that would be uncalled for.
Mariska came up to place empty plates on the kitchen worktop when Blanca signaled that my orders would be prepared in ten more minutes. I got up from my chair and gestured her to come outside. I wasn’t going to call her name or chase after her in the restaurant and I did appreciate that she came out to meet with me. She hadn’t wanted to talk to me two days ago after she and her friends had left Lasting Impressions. If she’d been alone, I think she would’ve flipped me the finger, but then she would’ve been announcing to everyone that she was angry with me. I wanted to think that she was nothing to me, but I’ve regretted my actions ever since I’d shamed her.
“You left Jill hanging in there.” She turned her head to the side, her expression darkened. “What is it, Hunter?”
“I wanna make sure we’re on the same page; I won’t talk to Beth or Chase about going down on you and I don’t want you to talk about it.” Mariska narrowed her gaze at me.
“Why would I talk about it?”
“If you get worked up or they say anything about me, you might say something. That’s—”
“You have an unbelievable amount of nerve coming to my job, making demands to speak to me during my lunch hour, and telling me what to do. Enough people are trying their hand at it. You don’t want to be one of those people, Hunter.” She stepped into my face, like she’d done when I’d first met her at the Anderson’s car dealership. Man, she was hot when she tried to control her voice and appear unruffled. “Since you have so many bright ideas, here’s a suggestion for you: make sure you don’t slip.” She threw me a pointed look. “And I don’t just mean with Jill and whomever else your fooling around with. Because the only reason I am affording you the time to talk to me is because you better never speak down to me again.” I watched as she almost lifted her arms up to push my chest, but, instead, she brought her fingers together. I actually would’ve liked it because I did like her hands on me. I wanted to promise that I’d do whatever I could to stay out of her life, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t even promise myself that I’d maintain my sobriety; a fact she was well aware of. “I don’t want half-ass apologies from you either. Don’t think about pulling the tricks you pulled on me with Jill.” Mariska moved away from me, the side of her mouth drawn down. “And don’t talk to me about this again. Unless you really do want me to feel pathetic about getting with a junkie.”
She marched back into La Caridad. I thought I’d talked to Mariska to fight for my friendship with Beth and with my brother Chase, but I’d really wanted to hear her say what she really thought about me. It’d make me think less about how beautiful she was and the sympathy she’d had for Ari and I. Nothing about craving just a taste of whiskey on the tip of my tongue and anticipating the glide down my throat made me invincible. Coke was another monster that I’d only feel the urge to mess with if I drank; it was my upper. And boy, did I feel down.
***
JILL HANDED ME THE bags, as Blanca helped the other waiters seat customers, when I came inside to get the food.
“Thanks,” I told Jill and glanced around the restaurant before I left. Mariska’s back faced me as she ate her lunch. I hadn’t checked to see if she’d gotten her nipples pierced, because I hadn’t wanted to stop looking at her face. I wanted her to hate me again. But why didn’t it make me feel good? Why did some part of me not want her to define me as an alcoholic and a junkie? If Annette didn’t drop by my apartment tonight, I’d be giving Jill a call.
“My offer still stands,” Jill said, undeterred that I’d left her mid-conversation a few minutes ago.
Mariska
I LIKED BLENDING IN among many of the customers here. After arguing with Hunter, I wanted to eat alone and go over my itinerary for the rest of the week in my head. Pete liked his cell phone a little too much, because I’d received three messages from him today. He knew that his phone was primarily for emergencies. He was allowed to talk to his friends on it when he didn’t have other things to do, like homework and chores, but receiving a photo of him smiling with his friends in one of the tie-dye shirts I’d given him sometime last year made me feel happy. I needed this pick me up after the hateful things I’d called Hunter. I just wished that I didn’t want to kiss him and pushed the daylights out of him too.
Jill set her plate of rice and beans on the table. She pulled the seat across from me and sat down. She didn’t say anything and the silence was bothering me. Normally, Jill told me about her upcoming student loan payment, or how she couldn’t wait to save up enough money and finally move out of her parent’s house. Sighing, I took the napkin from my lap and wiped my mouth, pondering if I’d get to finish my Cuban Avocado Salad or not.
“Jill.”
“Yeah?” She moved her rice and beans around the corners of the plate. Another thing she hadn’t done around me before.
“What’s wrong? You’re on a diet now?”
The corner of her lip twitched and she let out a shaky breath. “Me? On a diet?” She shook her head. “Not in this lifetime.” She drank some of her water and gazed at me. “I think Hunter showed up here for you.” Her tone was calm.
“I think he did too,” I acknowledged, guilt creeping up on me. I didn’t want to tell her that anything had happened between Hunter and I, but I couldn’t flat out lie to her either. In the beginning, I’d been truthful; Hunter and I hadn’t been friends and by no means were we friends now. “I really like working with you. We’ve been a team and I don’t want that to change. Something did happen between us—one time only. And it was a huge mistake. He assumed that I was going to tell my best friends.”
“You haven’t told them.” She raised her brow at me. “Would it bother you if I hooked up with Hunter again?”
I shook my head. “He means nothing to me,” I assured her.
“If you say so,” she remarked, “but if it does bother you—tell me, okay?”
“It wouldn’t—”
“Just do it.”
***
BETH CAME INTO OUR dorm room in a rush with her towel wrapped around her head and her robe on.
“Oh, poor Riley.” She disrobed right in front of me and started to put her jeans on.
I was starting to think that her course overload and work schedule coupled with her lack of sleep was draining her.
“Umm, Beth, who are you talking about? You mean poor Chase, because you haven’t seen him since Sunday morning?” I tried to clarify.
“I’ll see Chase tomorrow night before he leaves for his away game,” she replied and pushed her shirt down to her chest. “Riley is Hunter’s dog and her dog walker is sitting for a host of animals tonight and can’t take her for a walk.”
“Since when does Hunter have a dog?”
“He’s had Riley for a little over two months and she’s the kind of dog that won’t just relieve herself if she really has to go. She’ll wait and wait.”
/> I felt my chest constrict. I loved dogs and I was so sad when my grandparents had taken Pixie, my childhood Labrador Retriever back with them to Jacksonville, because Pete was horribly allergic to dogs. The only comfort my parents and I had had was that Pixie was loved until his final days.
“Yeah. Chase took her for a walk and fed her yesterday afternoon before practice, and I volunteered to go tonight.”
Beth was so sweet. She had so much to do for herself, but she was carving out some time for Riley.
“Do you have any photos of her?” I asked as Beth forced her feet into her sneakers.
She nodded. “Come with me. Riley loves female company.”
“I doubt that Hunter would want me setting one foot in his house. Especially if he’s not there.” I really did want to see Riley and I was also curious about how his house looked.
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if he wouldn’t like it.” She threw on her light sweater and her satchel.
As she opened the door, I followed her, without my own keys, or my tote, or my cell. My curiosity was too great.
***
“WAIT FOR RILEY TO come up to you first. She was in real bad shape when Hunter brought her home and, although she took to Annette and me instantly, she can be kinda skittish.”
I nodded, expelling a soft sigh, and my anxiousness tapered off to a manageable level. The argument with Hunter today and Jill’s request weighed heavy on me. I had no claim over him and she didn’t have to think about my feelings, but she did.
A beautiful dark brown lab laid on the couch when Beth turned the lights on to Hunter’s sparkling house. Did he pay for house cleaning? I didn’t even smell the scent of a dog in here. As many times as my mom and I had cleaned the house when we’d had Pixie, we hadn’t gotten rid of her scent.
“Hey, Riley!” Beth cooed as she bent her knees. Riley ran over to her, but I was a bit surprised that she hadn’t been faster. She wasn’t young, but she wasn’t old either. I watched as Beth ruffled her ears and Riley threw herself on her back, making whining noises.
“She’s gorgeous. How old is she?”
“The vets told Hunter that she’s four years old.”
Riley’s greenish-blue gaze darted over to me and minutes later she stood right in front of me. “Wanna go for a walk?” I asked her and looked at Beth, who had two small trash bags rolled up in one of her hands.
Beth had Riley’s leash in her pocket, but she told me that Riley didn’t need it.
When we were walking on either side of Riley down the long sidewalk of Hunter’s neighborhood, I began to see her relax more with my presence.
“When does he get out of work?”
Riley paused behind a big tree and I knew that it was her designated spot. “Probably one. Manny, his boss, has had the shop opened until two, for customers who can’t get out of work early in the evening. He started his shift at eight this morning.”
“Are his hours always like this?”
“It all depends,” Beth said and covered her hand with the two plastic bags. “He knew this week Manny needed him more, because he’s the best at doing sketches. And he doesn’t have the obligations like the other guys do. They have wives and children at home, so Manny accommodates them as much as he can. But there are just some tattoos that they do better than Hunter; they do have a shitload of experience.” She walked away for a second and cleaned up after Riley, who shyly dipped her head and sniffed my hand before she started licking it. I crouched down and rubbed the side of my face against hers, and she began vigorously licking my face.
Beth rubbed the top of Riley’d head and we started to walk again, in tandem with Riley’s gait. “Is Hunter better at drawing people than other things? What he did on your cake was really sweet, Beth.”
“Wasn’t that drawing literally the icing on that yummy ass cake? He’s actually very good at drawing and tattooing all kinds of stuff. Hunter wants to be able to do all the designs the other tattoo artists can do, using every machine, even the old school ones. He wants to open up his own shop by the time he’s thirty.”
I started to chuckle at the idea that Hunter had goals and dreams. I just thought he wanted to tattoo until he found something else to do, because it was the first trade he had gotten into while he was in drug treatment. It hadn’t occurred to me that he was really serious about not only tattooing for a career, but having his own tattoo shop.
“You don’t think he can do it?” Beth asked with a heavy sigh. Riley paused and opened her mouth. Beth took out a bottle of water from her satchel and poured water into her mouth.
“I do think he can do it,” I said as she stroked Riley’s ear and threw the empty bottle of water in her satchel. “Hunter doesn’t seem like the type of guy to think about his future to me. Did he tell you all of this, or did Chase tell you?”
“Hunter told me about his dreams. Hunter made no excuses for what he’d done. He could’ve just said that it was the alcohol and coke that made him threaten and cut Chase’s face. And that opened my eyes, Mariska. Once I felt like Hunter wasn’t trying to play games with me, I wanted him tell me about himself.”
“You have a big heart.”
“So do you, Mariska. I really can’t say I wouldn’t have been like Cindy without you and Jake growing up. You’ve stood by my side and lost friends, a bunch of invites to play dates, sleepovers, parties, and trips. You and Jake think that I didn’t know about it. I knew that you didn’t want me to feel guilty. And when I tried pushing you guys away, so that your lives could be easier in Franklin Parks—so that you and Jake would fit in like you would’ve if you weren’t my friends—you guys wouldn’t have it. You even vouched for me at Luigi’s and I had a job for three years. Francine and Steve are good people, but it’s because of you that they made the risk to lose some business because Cindy’s daughter was working there. Thank God it all turned out fine, but it could’ve went the other way.” She let out a huge breath, and we laughed as Riley shifted her gaze between us as we walked. “So Hunter made mistakes. Got addicted to alcohol and cocaine. It’s not about him being at fault for having an addiction, or any of that will power mantra bullshit. He’s taking his life back. Not the alcohol. Not the cocaine, or any other controlled substance. When he confessed that he was responsible for putting that scar on Chase’s face like that on the street, I was so furious, so…horrified—”
“And then you went and slapped him,” I interrupted and huffed. Jake and I had thought that Hunter was going to try to hit her back.
“Yeah, as you like to remind me.” She rolled her eyes. “But I found it within myself to look past that, because he hated himself for doing that. He still does. I am blessed to have you guys. Can you fathom how much perseverance Hunter has to have when it’s so easy to give into negative thinking? Well, I want Hunter to know that I am a positive in his life. He’s not just Chase’s older twin brother. He’s someone else who I’ve come to care about, also.”
We went back into Hunter’s house after Riley strode inside.
I walked around his living room and looked at a wide painting on the center of the wall. In a wide mass of blue waters, three curvy nude women were looking up at the sky with haloes on their heads. They looked like sirens, with their naughty smirks and provocative gestures. While it was a striking painting, the paper and paint looked aged and cheap. I wondered if Hunter had painted it. So, Hunter liked his girls like these women? Beth resembled their shapes, only she had a flat stomach and her hair was shorter and darker.
“Did Hunter paint this?” I asked when I sank down on the black leather sofa.
“Yeah. He said he painted it after he achieved first thirty days clean after detox. He prefers to sketch more than to paint, but he loves Greek mythology, and he said painting naked women made him forget where he was.”
“A little escape like that doesn’t hurt,” I said, flicking one last look at the painting.
I met Beth’s amused gaze after she handed me a cup of Ginger Ale, like I’d done
for Hunter two weeks ago. Clumsily, Riley jumped up to rest on my lap while Beth sat down, settling her hand on Riley’s tummy. “If there are times you can’t walk her for Hunter and I have time, tell me. She likes to be around people all the time, huh?”
Beth nodded. “He wants to be with her more, but he’s not done paying for her last vet’s bill. He’ll have the money after he gets his check in two weeks. He’d freak out if he didn’t have two or three month’s rent saved up.”
A smile lifted the corner of my mouth. “That reminds me of us.”
Slumping down on the sofa, Beth said, “He is more like us than not.”
Riley lifted her head up at me. “Pet her head, dummie. Can’t you see that she likes that?”
I grabbed the cushion in between us and hit her with it. Beth’s blush spread all over her face and she laughed heartily. I felt like we were kids.
Complying, I ran my nails over the top of her head and down Riley’s back repeatedly until she relaxed again.
“There you go,” Beth whispered to me and placed her hand on Riley’s tummy again.
Chapter 14
Hunter
“YOU DON’T WANNA GET up, do you?” I asked Riley after I found her lying down on Beth and Mariska’s laps. She blinked twice and her lids fell closed.
Beth and Mariska were sprawled out on my couch. They must’ve chilled out after they took Riley for a walk and lost track of time. I really liked that Beth came to my house with her. I had day-dreamed what it’d be like to taste Mariska again—only on my bed or on any other surface of my house. Mariska was in a cute little tank top and a jean skirt that rose on her upper thighs, so high that I could’ve seen what color underwear she had on. Beth and Mariska needed to have their space while they slept. Riley was beginning to add some real weight that could be felt after some hours of having her on my lap. If I’d known Beth was this tired, I wouldn’t have let her come here, despite the twenty minute drive from their residence hall. My last options had been to call one of my neighbors or an agency for a sitter, but I didn’t want Riley around strangers. She would definitely think that I was getting rid of her. The two times I’d taken her to the vet, or anywhere that was a little far from where we lived, she’d become visibly agitated and unresponsive to my reassurances that she’d be fine. It was two forty in the morning and they weren’t going back on campus unless I drove behind them, so they had to stay here.
