by Amy Sparling
“No problem,” I say, taking her hand. “There’s a bench up ahead.”
She takes a step forward, hobbling on her right foot. “Oh fuck it,” she says with a groan. She bends down and removes her black high heel shoe. “I’ll just go barefoot.”
On instinct, I bend and pick her up, tucking my arm under her knees and the other one under her head. She squeals as I lift her off the ground. “Jace!” she says as red fills her cheeks. “You don’t have to do this.”
I kiss her and walk toward the bench. “I don’t want your foot to hurt and I really don’t want you getting some weird foot disease on this filthy boardwalk.”
She beats my chest with her hand. “Put me down, I’m too heavy.”
I roll my eyes. “You are so not heavy.”
“Oh my god, yes I am. Jace!”
“Too late!” I stick out my tongue at her.
We’ve already arrived at the bench so all of her begging to put her down is now moot. I lean forward and set her on the bench and then slide over next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She smells like coconut shampoo and I want to bury my face into her hair, pull her close to me and live there forever.
She crosses her legs, letting the bare foot hover off the ground. The blister-causing shoe sits next to us on the bench.
“I don’t know why you wear those things when they hurt your feet.”
She grabs my hand and peers up at me. “I wear them because they’re sexy.”
“Uhhhh, so sexy is more important than being able to walk without pain?”
“Yes.”
I lift an eyebrow. “Honey, you’re sexy no matter what sort of shoes are on your feet.”
She shakes her head. “No, you’re wrong. Heels make my calves tighter, which makes them look thinner, which makes me look sexier. Flats are comfortable but make me a fat cow.”
“You cannot be serious.” I shake my head and cover my mouth so she doesn’t see that I’m trying really hard not to laugh. The way she’s glaring at me right now lets me know that she’s serious and doesn’t think any of this is a joke.
“Jace, I don’t need you to make jokes right now.”
“I’m not, baby. I just…come on…you’re nowhere near being fat. High heels or otherwise.”
Bay draws in a deep breath, then lets it out slowly while her gaze focuses on the rippling in the water. She pulls a hair tie off her wrist and puts her hair into a ponytail. “Let’s go home now.”
A strand of hair that’s too short for her ponytail falls in front of her eyes and I tuck it behind her ear. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I frown. Her stony gaze says otherwise.
“I know you’re lying to me,” I say. “I just wish I knew why you’d rather lie than tell me what’s really going on.”
A few moments of silence pass and then her head slowly turns my way. I offer her an encouraging smile and then words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop myself. “I wish you’d tell me what’s been bothering you lately. Why you keep flipping out for seemingly no reason.”
Shit. I probably shouldn’t have brought that up. I mean, we were having such a great time tonight—date night—no drama whatsoever. So of course, my dumbass has gone and ruined it.
She bites her bottom lip and peers into my eyes. God, she is so beautiful. And yet she’ll sit there, looking insecure and worried, having absolutely no damn idea that she is the greatest thing in the world. She’s the best part of my life, inside and out.
I shake my head, hating that she’ll never know exactly how much I love her. And then I cup her face in my hands and pull her close to me, kissing her, running my tongue across her lips, willing my body to show her exactly what she means to me.
We make out on the bench for a long while and if people are passing by us, gawking or turning away embarrassed, I have no idea. All I can focus on is her. My Bayleigh. My girl. My wife. The girl with my heart.
“Fine,” she says, pulling away from a kiss. “I’ll tell you. But not here.”
“Then where?” I ask lightly, trailing my finger down her collar bone.
“In the truck.” She gnaws on her lip for the millionth time tonight. “I’ll tell you in the truck but only because you won’t be looking at me. You have to look at the road, okay?”
I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. “Okay, weirdo. I’ll only look at the road.”
Chapter 11
It feels like I can’t get to the parking lot fast enough. Bay refuses to let me carry her all the way, saying it would be embarrassing, so we’re forced to hobble our way to the truck while she wears the blister-causing heels.
“I think you’re just taking a long time on purpose,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “You think I like having my heel in constant pain?”
“If I carried you, we’d be there by now.”
She shakes her head. “You’re not carrying me. I’m too heavy.”
“Girl, I can bench press five of you.”
She snorts. We reach my truck and I walk over to her side, opening the door for her. “I’m serious,” I say, smacking her on the ass as she climbs inside. “You’re never too heavy.”
She sticks her tongue out at me and I lean forward, grabbing it with my lips. She giggles and I deepen the kiss until she shoves me away. “I don’t want you getting all turned on before we drive.”
I shrug my shoulders. “Too late!”
When we’re driving out of the parking lot, I turn and give her my cheesiest grin. “So…wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?”
“No, but I guess I have to, huh?”
“Promises are promises,” I say. I’m smiling and playing around with her but the truth is a painful knot in the pit of my stomach. Whatever’s been bothering her lately, she takes it out on me and that has me worried to death that I’ve done something unintentionally bad in this relationship. Whatever she says might change us forever. But I have to know.
We can’t get past this if we don’t talk about it.
Bayleigh draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She twists her wedding ring around her finger and I hope to God that it’s just a nervous movement and not her way of subliminally wanting to be done with me, done with her ring and done with her marriage.
The knots in my stomach hurt like hell. I can barely drive the fucking truck in between the lines on the road. “How bad is this?” I ask, just as she’s about to speak.
She looks sideways at me, her features darkening when she sees my expression. “Oh, Jace, it’s not you. I’m not mad at you.”
Somehow her words do nothing to quell the mass of anxiety that bubbles up inside of me, threating to explode and take my heart with it. She even reaches over and takes my hand and I still don’t feel any better. “Then what is it?”
She lets go of my hand and returns to playing with her ring. Her lips form a thin line and she stares at the road ahead. “I don’t know how to say this so…I guess I’ll just say it.”
“Please. I’m dying here.”
She sighs. “Okay, so it’s no secret that you’re the golden one in this relationship.”
“Golden?” I grip the steering wheel nervously. “Babe that doesn’t do anything to clear up this situation.”
She throws her hands in the air. “Golden—meaning perfect. I’m the poor hick town loser who managed to tie you down only because I got pregnant.”
“What the hell?” She startles at my outburst. I laugh. “You did not tie me down, Bay. I was going to marry you with or without an unplanned pregnancy. Where is this coming from?”
She shakes her head. “Okay fine. You can say what you want…you can pretend that you would have married me anyway, but the truth is that we both know—hell, the whole world knows—that you are so much better than me, in every possible way.”
My brows pull together. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at. I know you’ll roll your eyes if I tell you that everyt
hing you just said is wrong…so…what’s the point?”
She gnaws on her bottom lip and watches the streetlights zoom past. “My point is that I’ve always known these things about us and I’ve always hated it, but somehow I managed to just shove it out of my mind and try to pretend it wasn’t real.”
“Are you unhappy with us?” My voice cracks. Please say no. Please say no.
“I’m not—ugh, that’s not it.”
“It sure as hell sounds like that’s it. You’re telling me you think I’m too good for you and that is so completely not true.”
She swallows. “Jace, you’ve always been too good for me. That was a problem that I managed to somehow get over, but now…now it’s like you’ve surpassed being too good for me. Now you’re on a whole other level and it’s just ridiculous.”
I open my mouth but have no words to say.
She looks over at me with tears in her eyes. “I love you with all of my heart but I feel like a terrible person. How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that you should be with someone better?”
“We’re married and we have a child together and your name is on all the same accounts that my name is on. We’re not two separate people anymore…we’re together. So exactly what do you think has changed, Bay?”
“Me, okay?” she snaps. “It’s me. I’ve changed.”
Oh my god. I let out a breath and my heart tightens in my chest. “Do you not love me anymore?” I can barely get the words out.
She’s quiet for a few seconds but it feels like hours. Finally, she says, “That’s not it.”
“How have you changed?”
“Do I really have to spell it out for you?”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, trying to focus on the road and keep my heart from exploding all at the same time. “You seem like the exact same Bayleigh I’ve always known. So, what’s changed?”
“I’m a huge fat cow and a mother.”
The way she says it, like it’s so fucking obvious, makes me think she’s joking. She has to be joking.
“You’re joking, right?”
Her lips form a flat line and her jaw tightens. “Don’t patronize me. I’m not joking.”
“Honey…” My voice softens. If this is really her problem then my world just got a whole lot better—she’s not pissed at me, she doesn’t hate me—I can fix this. “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I promise you it’s not true. Yeah, you’re a mother now but that’s not anything to feel bad about. You’re a mom and I’m a dad and we’re closer for it. As for the fat thing…yeah…” I laugh and reach over, grabbing her hand. “You are not fat. You’re not even close to being fat.”
She shakes her head. “I’m covered in stretch marks.”
“No…” I say.
“Yes, I am. You just don’t know because I keep the lights off. I make sure it’s always dark so you can’t see how gross I am.”
“You are so not gross. You are sexy as hell.”
She looks at her lap and is still twisting that ring as if her life depended on it. “I can’t fit into my old jeans, Jace. I’m fat.”
I sigh. “I wish you’d believe me. I’m not some prick liar here…if you were fat then I’d agree with you. But you’re hot as hell and I can’t believe you’re so upset about this.” I reach over and run my hand down her face, and this gets me the slightest smile from her. “I am dead serious babe. When I look at you all I see is perfection.”
Chapter 12
Bayleigh gets a call from her mom just as we’re arriving at home. I hang up my truck keys on the hook by the door and then slip behind her while she’s talking on the phone. I slide my fingers under her hair and pull it over one shoulder, leaning in to kiss the soft skin on her neck.
She keeps talking to her mom, ignoring me, so I kiss her again, sliding my hands down her arms. Goose bumps prickle across her skin and I run my tongue down the side of her neck, stopping at her collarbone.
She draws in a sharp breath of air and tries to keep her voice steady. “Yeah, Mom. Sounds good. Okay…”
With my lips still on her neck, I slide my hands around her waist, gripping her hips as I pull her back against my chest.
“Okay Mom, I gotta go!” Bayleigh ends the call and spins around, glaring at me. “You are so bad, Jace Adams.”
I give her an evil grin. “I couldn’t help myself. So,” I say, touching her chin and lifting her head so I can kiss her. “What’d she say?”
“She’s leaving her house now so she’ll be here in 45 minutes.”
“That’s music to my ears,” I say, unable to hide my grin. “Care to join me in the bedroom?”
She grins and looks down at her feet. “Yeah, I suppose.”
“What do you mean, you suppose?” My brows furrow. “It’s fine if you don’t want to, babe.”
“No, I want to I just—ugh.” She throws her arms in the air and turns around, heading down the hallway.
“Ugh what?” I follow her into our bedroom and close the door. She twists her arms behind her back, unzipping the back of her dress. “Ugh what?” I say again. My heart has had enough weird confusion to last for decades.
“Ugh, because yeah, we can do it and yeah, I want to, but now it’s going to be weird because I told you how nervous I am about my body.”
“Ba-abe,” I say with a groan. “We should be over this by now. There isn’t a single thing wrong with your body.” I reach my arms around her back and slide the dress over her shoulders, then push it down her body and let it fall to the floor.
She cocks a foot out, one hand on her hip. She’s wearing a strapless bra and black panties and I can’t help but smile when she makes this sarcastic face at me. “See?” I say, holding out my hands. “You’re perfect.”
She rolls her eyes. And then she grins, taking a step closer to me. “I guess I can accept that you feel the way you do,” she says slowly, sliding her fingers up the bottom of my shirt. “It just sucks that I don’t understand what you see in me. There are so many other woman who are much prettier than I am.”
I let her pull my shirt up and over my head and then I slide my arms around her back, unfastening her bra. “Okay even if that was true, and it’s not, trust me—who fucking cares? I want you and I’m in love with you and I don’t really give a damn if any other woman on the planet is attractive.”
She runs her hands down my chest, her fingers bobbing over the abs I spend an hour in the gym each day to perfect. Okay, now I might get what she’s saying. “Does it bother you that I’m—uh…in shape?”
“Yeah,” she says quickly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “If you were fat and frumpy like me then I’d feel a hell of a lot better.”
I can’t help but bust out laughing. “Oh my god, babe. I work out every day for you. I just want to be hot for you.”
“That’s sweet of you baby but don’t you see how it makes me feel like shit? I don’t work out. I guess I should start.”
I toss her bra away and cup her breasts in my hands. “Nuh-uh,” I say, my lips pressing against her soft skin as I bend down, kissing the space between her cleavage. “I fell in love with you the way you are…so don’t change.” I place a trail of kisses across her breasts, then pull her backwards two steps so I can sit on the edge of the bed, holding her body in front of me while I caress her abdomen with soft kisses.
She lets out a faint moan and tilts her head to the side, running her fingers through my hair. I squeeze her hips and take her nipple in my mouth, gently caressing it with my tongue. She grips my head harder and I slip my fingers under the top of her panties, sliding them down. She kicks them off and gives me a devilish grin.
That’s it. I rise to my feet and pull off my jeans in a flash. Then I wrap my arms around her and fall back onto the bed, pulling her on top of me.
“I love you,” she whispers with her lips brushing against mine. I slide my hands down her back, over her amazing ass and back up again.
“I love you more.”
It’s hard to focus on the road as I drive to work the next day. My thoughts are filled with Bayleigh, and trying to come up with ways to let her know that I love her so unconditionally that it hurts. Actually, no, not that. I need to find a way to show her that she’s truly beautiful, that she’s so not fat and that however many wavy lines are on her thighs—I don’t pay attention to that. I don’t notice them and I don’t care. It doesn’t change her beauty in any way at all.
If only she’d just believe me.
I pull into the long gravel roadway that leads into Mixon Motocross Park, mentally going over each client I have scheduled today. There’s only four, so half of my day will be free. That’s not good for business, but it’s good for getting some practice time in on my dirt bike.
My truck radio morphs into the call screen, connecting to the Bluetooth on my phone that’s stashed in the backpack on the seat next to me. “Hey man,” I say, answering the phone with a push of a button my steering wheel. I freaking love this new truck.
“What would you think about me moving there to Mixon?” Park says in what is surprisingly a serious tone of voice.
“You serious?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh,” I muse, pulling into my parking spot and cutting the engine. I stay seated so I can keep talking. “Why on earth would you leave the beautiful beaches of Cali to come down to po-dunk Texas?”
Park is one of the wildest guys I know. At least he used to be, before he started dating Bayleigh’s best friend Becca.
He sighs into the phone and I can’t tell if he’s frustrated or excited or what. “Why do you think?”
“Becca?” I sound like a squawking bird, but I can’t believe my ears right now. “Are you fucking serious?”
