“Princess, I love seeing your body twist around like that.”
I had reached my limit of foreplay about twenty minutes ago, and said without any hesitation, “Fuck me, Shay, just fuck me!”
“My, princess, don’t you have a naughty little mouth.” He looked delighted. I had never used that kind of language in bed before.
Without hesitation or coaxing, he slid that iron Shay-rod inside of my life. The sex was so intense that when I climaxed, I cried out so loud Shay put his hand over my mouth. He climaxed right at that moment, looking into my eyes. I lay there panting. Shay slid over on his back, panting right along side of me.
“Shay, do you remember that time I told you I’d love to bottle my climax, keep it forever, and never let it go?” I whispered, between heavy breaths. “You said if I did keep it forever it would probably kill me?” I took a few gulps of air and sighed. “Well, I swear, that climax I just had was so long and thrillingly agonizing that it near killed me. I would just love to bottle that feeling, no matter what the consequence.”
Shay had a contented smile on his face as he reached down and grabbed a couple of pillows and put them behind his back. I lay against him, my head on his chest. I needed time for a lot of afterglow after that.
We lay there for quite awhile, Shay with his arms wrapped around me. Suddenly I noticed he had both of my arms crossed over each other just below my breasts and was holding them there firmly.
“Shay, don’t hold my arms so tight.”
He didn’t loosen them. I always got a panicky feeling if I felt pinned. I tried to wiggle free.
“Sssshhhhh,” Shay said, “just calm down, I just want to hold you. So stay real calm. Just take some deep breaths.”
“No, Shay, let loose.” I squirmed.
“Callie, calm down. Everything is going to be fine. I’m sure it’s nothing, but darlin’ I need to tell you something.” His voice was soft.
I lay still. “What?”
“Darlin’, please stay calm. Callie, you have a lump in your left breast.”
I think all the blood drained from my head. I felt faint. “Shay, no!” I cried. “Where? Where is it? Show me!”
Shay let go of my arms and lay me flat on my back. He took my fingers and placed them on the lump on my left breast. There it was, distinct. I began crying hysterically.
“That’s why I was holding you, princess. I wanted you close to my heart and in my arms when I told you.”
I cried hysterically, sobbing into my hands.
“Callie, it’s not a hard lump,” Shay soothed. “It’s soft and I can move it a bit. I found it while I was lotioning you. Then I checked it when you lay on your back. It may just be a cyst. Cows get benign lumps all the time...”
“Shay, I’m not an animal. I’m a human woman. I don’t care what cows get!” I sobbed. “I’ve always heard if you get breast cancer in your thirties the survival rate is very bad.”
At this time there wasn’t much hope for breast cancer victims.
“Callie, we don’t know if it’s cancer, please don’t get ahead of yourself.”
I knew Shay and he was concerned. But I also knew he would do whatever it took to keep me calm.
“Shay, please go get my mom,” I said through tears.
Shay got up, put his jeans and shirt on, and went to get Mom.
When I told her, she looked scared at first; then I saw her get control. “Kathrine, we’ll have it checked out. I’m sure it’s going to be okay. You’ll just go in and have it checked,” she said matter-of-factly.
Mom was like Shay; they both stayed strong and calm for my sake. I couldn’t sleep until about 3:30 in the morning. I fell asleep in Shay’s arms, close to his warm body. When I got up, it was 8:30 a.m. I showered and went to the breakfast room. Mom and Shay both wanted me to eat something, but there was no way I could eat. Shay told me he had called Doc Sam and made an appointment for me for 11:00 that morning.
I was so nervous, I asked Shay if we could leave right then and just ride around together somewhere until our appointment. I needed some fresh air and a little distraction.
***
We arrived at the doctor’s office at ten ‘til eleven and got right in. I told my doctor I didn’t want him to tell me I had a lump, I already knew that. I wanted him to tell me what it was and what we were going to do about it.
“Kathrine, we won’t know what it is, or how to treat it until we know what we’re dealing with. We need to perform a biopsy on the lump. I’m going to schedule it for tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. at the hospital. In the meantime I don’t want you touching it or pushing on it. I want you to wear a bra at all times, even sleep in it tonight. I’m going to have the nurse do a blood draw so we have the blood work by morning.”
I hadn’t slept in clothes since I’d married Shay (except for my brief stint as a trucker woman,) but one night wouldn’t hurt me.
***
I don’t know if it was Shay or Mom who told the kids, but they both came in that evening and lay on the bed with me.
“Mommy,” Kelly said, “I don’t want anything to happen to you. If it’s cancer, will it be like Grandpa?”
Wes just lay there holding my hand—my fifteen-year-old son, with tears in his eyes. He lay there, silently. It was right then that I decided to draw on Shay’s strength. If it was bad, then I’d go down doing all I could to stop the situation, knowing I had fought with a cool head. I could feel myself getting stronger. I told the kids not to be worried, that I wasn’t scared. Whatever it was, we’d deal with it like we’d dealt with everything else.
After the kids left, Shay showered and came to bed. He was lying there holding me. I could tell he sensed I was much stronger, I wasn’t crying anymore. I was actually laughing and joking with the kids when they left.
“What?” I said after a while of just cuddling. “No lovemaking tonight? You’re not getting off that easy, big boy! I want you to make love to me.”
It didn’t take much to make Shay a willing participant. It seemed as though nothing had changed. Shay and I had a great lovemaking session, but as soon as we were lying there in the afterglow, Shay said, “Callie, put your bra on.”
“That sounds so cute coming from you,” I laughed. “Imagine, Shay Westover telling me to put my bra on!”
***
We checked into the hospital at 6:30 a.m. as requested. They needed to prep me for surgery at 8:00 a.m. It felt strange being here and not the maternity ward.
But I did have some lovely little nurses working with me. There was a little Gray Angel there in the room. She seemed timid, but nice.
“Kathrine,” my head nurse said, “This is Marilyn. She’ll be your Gray Angel helper until 1:00 this afternoon. Then, at shift change, you’ll have Patty. She’s fifteen and quite new, but she’s good help and a real sweet girl. Patty leaves at 10:00 p.m. and then Violet will be your Gray Angel until Marilyn is back on at 6:00.”
The head nurse looked fondly at Marilyn. “These fine young ladies work here in our Gray Angel program to see if they want to become nurses and attend our nursing school.”
They wore gray uniform dresses with a nametag and got 75 cents per hour.
“Kathrine, your Gray Angel will get you anything you need to be comfortable—books, magazines, sandwiches—or if you just want them to sit and hold your hand, they’ll do that too.”
I got an IV in my arm and I was out.
The News
It was all over. Now: several days of waiting for the results. Every hour felt like ten. Doc Sam came into my room and told me I was anemic again. He wanted to keep me at the hospital for a few days to build up my iron.
“I want to see the numbers rise before you go,” he said.
Well, granted, I was always tired, but I certainly thought I had an explanation for that. Shay had been there most of the day and my new little Gray Angel, Patty, had come on duty. I knew I was in good hands, and even though I didn’t like being without Shay, I wanted him to go home and
rest. He had a big farm operation plus a trucking business to take care of, and he’d been at the hospital for hours and hours.
“See,” I said to Shay, nodding toward Patty, “this little angel’s going to take good care of me. When I need to hold your hand, darlin’, I’ll just hold hers.”
After Shay left, it gave me a chance to get to know Patty. I asked her a little about herself. She told me she lived with her grandma, Bertha, and that she had always thought it would be wonderful to be a nurse.
“A nurse helps people,” said Patty simply as she sat by the window, “and that’s what I want to do.”
She told me she went to school mornings, but got out at noon for the Gray Angel program, which began at the hospital at one. She got school credit for the program, so that helped. I told her I had a son who was fifteen, like her, but that he wasn’t near as mature as she was.
“He would never be able to make a decision about his future at this age,” I said.
I told her I had a seventeen-year-old daughter, and at fifteen she probably could have made a decision like that. So Patty and I laughed at the fact that we had settled it, girls were just more mature than boys.
“Let’s face it,” I said. “Boys can be silly at any age!”
“Your husband is a very good looking man,” Patty told me.
It was amazing how Shay could still turn women’s heads, even fifteen-year-olds’.
“Yeah,” I told her, “he is as handsome on the inside as he is on the outside.”
Normally I panicked when I wasn’t with my family, but here was this darling little Gray Angel who truly put my mind as ease. I knew God had sent her to watch over me.
If Patty was shy, well she had met the right person: Miss Chatterbox. I talked this poor child’s leg off, but it was keeping me from being lonely for Shay and the kids. I told her all about Kelly and Wes, how they had their sibling fights, but just adored each other. I told her how handsome my fifteen-year-old son was and how he was a head-turner like his dad. I told her they should meet; I thought they’d really hit it off. Boy, I don’t know if it was the anesthesia or what, but I poured my heart out to this child.
She had fixed my pillows several times, rubbed my arms and legs and back with lotion, and now she wanted to know if I wanted any magazines or maybe a book to read. Probably wants me to shut up and give her some peace! I thought amusedly. I told her I didn’t feel like reading, but I was a little hungry. Patty left the room and came back shortly with a ham salad sandwich and a glass of tea. I must have really told this poor child everything, because she even brought a small glass of orange juice with the tea.
I knew two things at this point for certain: one, I liked Patty, and two, she was going to make a fantastic nurse. Her supper hour was 5-6 p.m., but to my joy she came to my room and sat with me. She asked if I cared if she spent her supper break with me. Did I care? I was elated.
I asked her more about herself and learned that Patty and her grandmother lived in a mobile home park. I learned she rode the school bus to school and the city bus to the hospital.
“Well, Patty, my mother lived in Hudson until this past year, so I know the buses stop running at 9:45 p.m. How do you get home from the hospital?”
“I walk home,” she said matter-of-factly.
“How many blocks is it?”
“I think it’s a couple of miles. It’s way down east on the other side of the tracks.”
“Girl, are you telling me you walk home in the dark two miles every night?” I was shocked.
“Yes, Ma’am,” she answered shyly.
I thought I was going to cry. I knew one thing right then and there: I was taking this child under my wing. Shay always said I brought home every stray I found. Of course Patty wasn’t that kind of a stray, but she was my new project. I’d found a child that needed my help.
***
At 10:00 p.m. Patty came in and hugged me and told me she was off and she’d see me tomorrow. What a gracious child. Violet, who replaced her, was sixteen and kind of an airhead. I had to ask her several times to adjust my pillows before she got to it; she kept forgetting. When Violet was out of the room and my nurse was in with me, I told her how much I had enjoyed Patty being my Gray Angel.
“She is a sweet girl isn’t she, Kathrine? I think she would make a great nurse. She has a good heart and she’s sensitive, attentive…. What’s concerning is,” the nurse lowered her voice a little, even though we were the only ones in the room, “if she does this program for the next three years and we accept her to the nursing school, I don’t think her family is going to have the funds. She keeps saying she’ll work it out, but honestly, Kathrine, I don’t see how.”
“Don’t they have scholarships or anything like that?”
“Not this program, unfortunately. I suggested she save her 75-cent hourly wages for three years and that would at least help, but she told me she was using the money to buy groceries for her and her grandmother.”
The nurse sighed. “She’s a hard worker, Kathrine. She never complains.” Then she smiled. “I noticed she spent her supper break in here with you. That’s sweet. You know, she usually goes to the library and reads medical books. The Gray Angel meals are 25 cents, but Patty doesn’t have it, so she goes without and reads. I’d like to help her out, she’s so sweet; but if I bent the rules for her, I’d have to bend the rules for everybody.”
I was sick, just sick. I sat there and ate my sandwich and drank my tea and juice, while this child had nothing to eat. Well, it wasn’t happening again. I’d see to it that Shay fixed that.
My night was lonely when I was awake. I wanted Patty there, not Violet. In just one day I was becoming attached to this child. I couldn’t sleep, thinking about Patty walking home in the bitter cold, through blizzards, not having any supper, working this hard without any promise that her hard work would even get her where she wanted to go. Finally, I think my nurse noticed my restlessness and brought me a sleeping pill.
***
It was 6:00 a.m. when the nurse woke me to do vitals, and there was no way I could go back to sleep. My little Gray Angel helped me to shower and dress in my red silk pajamas. I didn’t eat much for breakfast, but I noticed my diet was filled with iron-rich foods. I was amazed at how little conversation I got from Marilyn, my morning shift Gray Angel. I was anxious to get Patty back. I’d have someone to talk to then, someone who took her time with me and seemed to care.
Right at 8:30, there he was, my beautiful Shay Man. He came in with fabulous flowers from the hot house and just laid the bouquet on the bed as soon as he saw me, engulfing me with hugs and kisses.
“Callie, I love you. I missed you so much.”
“Darlin’ you’re crying…do you know something I don’t, did you get the results?”
“Oh, no, babe, I just missed you so damn much last night. I can’t sleep in our room without you, so I went up and slept in a guest room.”
I touched his cheek fondly, then I said, “Shay darlin’, I need you to do something for me, please.” I fixed him with my begging eyes. “I have a real big favor to ask and if you do this for me, I promise it will be my Christmas, birthday and anniversary present all in one; you won’t have to get me anything else for the whole year!”
“Gee, Callie, it must be pretty important if you’re willing to give up gifts for the whole year!” Shay chuckled.
“Shay, I want you to go to the cafeteria and buy a Gray Angel meal ticket, five meals a week for a year. Each meal is 25 cents. Then I want you to call the taxi-cab company and see if you can get a taxi pass to go from the hospital to down on the east side of town, one way, five days a week, for a year. Please, Shay, do it for me.”
Shay wrapped me in one of his hugs. “Callie, I don’t know why you want the ticket and taxi pass but I’ll get them if that’s what you want. I’ve never said no to you, babe, have I?” He held me outward looking at my face. “I’m going to guess my baby doll has found a stray kitten she wants to help,” he said w
ith a smile. Then he kissed me tenderly, saying, “I’ll be right back, Miss Callie,” and walked out the door.
When Shay returned he had the ticket in his hand. He said the user just needed to present it and it would be punched at the register. I’m sure the taxi ticket was pricey, but my Shay wouldn’t let me down. I heard him haggle for a good price; then he bought it with his credit card and told them to have someone bring the pass over within the next few hours and leave it at the front desk of the hospital for Mrs. Kathrine Westover.
“Well,” Shay sat down next to me on the edge of the bed, “there you have your ticket and cab pass, princess. Now the good news is, you don’t have to forfeit your future presents,” he laughed, putting his arms around me.
Samson and Sunset Page 34
