by Cameron Dane
Shifting his legs to a military stance, Graham crossed his arms against his barrel chest. “That’s not your choice.”
“But this is my land,” Maddie pointed out hotly. “And you are trespassing. I want you gone.” She felt around her deep coverall pockets for her cell phone, ready to call the police on Graham if necessary—as Wyn had threatened to do. “Wyn already told you to get out of Redemption; I heard him with my own ears. It’s time for you to listen and do what’s best for your sons once in your life.”
Red mottled Graham’s face, and his mouth twisted to a thin line. “Who the hell do you think you are, talking to me like that?”
Before Maddie could open her mouth to tell this man exactly who she was to Wyn, a car screeched to a stop at the foot of the drive and Wyn leaped out of the vehicle.
Leaving the driver’s side door open, Wyn sprinted across the lawn, up the stairs, and threw himself between Maddie and Graham. “What the fuck is going on here?” Maddie heard the scratch under the thunder in Wyn’s tone.
Oh no. When Maddie had seen Graham, instinct had kicked in and all she’d wanted to do was get him out of here and protect Wyn. Now all she could do was watch Wyn get his heart broken all over again, powerless to stop it. She’d failed, and her heart split down the middle for him. All she could do was take his hand and pray.
*
Maddie closed her smaller hand around Wyn’s, and he spun to face her, scrutinizing her features. “Are you all right?” He cupped her cheek with his rough hand and noted the heat burning through her skin.
Smiling softly up at him, Maddie covered the back of his hand with hers. “I’m fine.” She shifted her focus over his shoulder and glared. “I just wish you hadn’t gotten back so fast. I was hoping to take care of…this…before you returned.”
Wyn’s heart clenched with love for this woman, but right on top of that sweet need, Graham said, “Son, I just wanted to talk to you. This young woman was blocking my attempt,” and dumped another barrel of cold water over Wyn’s system.
Turning, Wyn looked at his father, and his gut twisted at the sight of the person looking back at him, so closely aligned in appearance, a likeness no amount of wishing or denying would ever make anyone believe Wyn wasn’t this man’s son.
His entire body taut as a drum, Wyn slid his arm around Maddie’s waist and tucked her at his side. “This young woman has every right to speak for me. And she did so correctly. You need to go.”
Graham slid his dark gaze to Maddie, swallowing visibly before coming back to look at Wyn. “If you would just give me five minutes to plead my case; if I can’t convince you to let me back into your life then I will leave it forever. That’s all I ask.” Graham clasped his hands in front of him, and for the first time the slight hunch of his shoulders and paleness around his mouth stood out in contrast to his muscular shape. “Please.”
Wyn parted his lips to spit, “No” out at this person who was never in his life yet constantly lived in his head, an absent parent, yet metaphorically always attached to his back. But, in addition to the slope of Graham’s shoulders and paleness, Wyn couldn’t help noting liver spots on the man’s hands and that his shoes while meant to look rugged were clearly orthopedic, and the sight nicked a little cut at Wyn’s heart and began trickling blood. A bone-deep tug to guide Graham to one of the chairs on the porch battled against years of working so damned hard to harden himself to any lures of this person.
The shell around Wyn’s soul was still so weak in places, so the knife pierced a corner of the foundation, and he finally bit off, “You have a minute.” The words scratched up his throat on the way out, but still he finished, “After sixty seconds I’ll decide if you get more.” With a squeeze to Maddie’s waist, Wyn avoided looking in her eyes as he told her, “I need to do this alone.”
She growled, kind of like him, lifting his heart a bit, and dragged his head down until they were nose to nose. “Yell if you need me,” she told him and then flashed the fire in her gaze Graham’s way. “I won’t be far.” With that, she kissed Wyn’s cheek, holding gently for a moment, the connection sinking into his flesh, and then went inside the house.
Left alone with his father, Wyn studied the man, and he couldn’t help but wonder if things had been a little bit different, if his mother hadn’t gotten sick and his dad hadn’t run away, how much different a man Wyn would have been, versus the man he was today. Once upon a time, Wyn had worshipped his father. The sun had risen and set with Graham Ashworth; unwittingly today, old wishes for their family tugged at Wyn’s heart.
Clearing his throat, Graham leaned his hip against the railing, and offered a tight smile. “Should I get us started?”
A little trill of excitement ran through Wyn, even as the pit in his stomach remained. “Knock yourself out. Wait.” He reached into his back pocket for his phone. “Should I call Ethan and have him come over to listen to this? That way you only have to say whatever you want to say once.”
Graham put his hand on Wyn’s, stopping him from entering the password on his cell. “That’s not necessary.”
Some of the fizziness in Wyn evaporated, and he narrowed his stare. “Why not?”
Pressing against the back of Wyn’s hand, Graham said, “Right now I would just like to focus on my relationship with you.”
A chill went through Wyn and he yanked his hand away from his father’s. “What do you mean? Do you think I’m going to do this…forgive you…whatever you’re gonna ask for…without Ethan?”
Sighing, Graham took a step toward Wyn. “Son, I don’t think I can help Ethan and reestablish a bond with him the way I can with you.”
Just as fast as Graham stepped closer to Wyn, Wyn moved back, the opening in his gut widening into a sucking spiral. “First, don’t call me son. And second, why the hell not?”
A tick started next to Graham’s left eye; he gripped the railing hard but finally said, “I cannot get in line with his lifestyle, but I would never ask him to change, therefore it is for the best that I don’t begin a communication with him again.”
Erupting in a flash, Wyn spit fire. “Ethan doesn’t have a lifestyle, asshole. He’s gay. That’s simply who he is, and he’s living honestly. That’s all. Nothing more and nothing less.”
“That is fine,” Graham charged, “but it is not something I can support.”
“Then you can’t support me, and I sure as hell won’t have anything to do with you.”
“Wyn—”
Whipping his hand up like a shield, Wyn shut Graham down. “For years I’ve kept this kernel of hope alive for you, always at the edge of my mind, thinking that if I could just let go of a little bit of my anger, if I could embrace you again, that it would be amazing. I hurt for that. I dreamed about it.” Wyn sucked in a gulp of air, volatile emotions cycloning through him. “Today you’ve cured me of those last specks of secret wishes. So thank you for coming. Sincerely,” not an ounce of sarcasm dripped from Wyn’s voice, “because if I hadn’t heard from your own mouth just now the dismissal of one of your sons, while at the same time having the audacity to think your other would be okay with it—and you seem to have done enough research about me to know how close Ethan and I are,” everything poured out of Wyn in a fast, emotion-filled jumble, “I would still be clinging to this pathetic little morsel of hope that Ethan and I might somehow, miraculously, find a way to forgive what you did to our mother in order to get our dad back. But no more. That’s gone now forever. You can leave now.” Wyn swept his hand toward the steps. “Goodbye.”
Backing down the stairs, Graham sputtered, “You said I could have five minutes.”
“I gave you one.” Christ. Wyn could barely speak without a snarl. “With that, you erased any desire in me to hear a second.”
“But—”
“No more. We’re done.” Rage on Ethan’s behalf coursed through Wyn, coarsening his voice to sandpaper. “Don’t ever contact me again. You won’t like what happens if you do.”
Graham
Ashworth stumbled backward down the steps quickly. Wyn could only assume that the death knell in Wyn’s voice, hell, vibrating through his entire being, finally penetrated Graham’s stubborn skull. The man strode across the front lawn to his car, calling, “You’ll regret this one day! You could have had a hefty inheritance!” and drove away without looking back at his son.
Shaking on the inside, Wyn, only when he could no longer see the car, exhaled. His legs went to jelly, and he dropped to sit on the top porch step.
It’s over. It’s finally done for good.
He expelled another shaky breath and looked down at the tremors in his hands. Fuck.
The door clicked behind Wyn, and a moment later Maddie plopped down at his side. She nudged her shoulder to his and curled her hand around his knee. “Are you all right?”
Wyn chuckled; the sound coughing through the rust inside him felt good. “Should we even bother to pretend that you didn’t listen in on every word of that exchange?”
Head tilted to look at him, her hair in a fall over her shoulder, Maddie beamed from within, highlighting the silver in her eyes. “We could try, but we both know I was right behind that door. I had your back,” she rubbed his leg, “but you did good all on your own.”
“Did I?” Wyn scrubbed his face, knowing the hardness he’d laid on his father must still be visible, while at the same time bubbles of new anxiety popped in him left and right. “I don’t know if I feel like I did.”
“Yeah, you do. But you’re still mourning a loss. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Too many threads of uncertainty dangled loose inside him, made him feel like he was on display, under a magnifying glass. “Anyway, how did it go with our resident ghost?” He needed to focus on something he knew he’d actually done right.
“It went well,” Maddie confirmed. “I was able to communicate with her for long enough to learn that everything you figured out was exactly what she wanted us to know.”
“Good. Maybe she’ll have some peace now.”
“That’s what I said to her too. What about over at Jayden’s house?” Maddie asked. “How did that go?”
Wyn sighed again, his heart too heavy today for too many different reasons. “Janet Carson let Nico into her home. She was willing to talk to him. I didn’t get into any of the theft stuff; it didn’t feel like the right time.”
Maddie moved from squeezing Wyn’s leg to petting his upper arm. “I agree. How was Jayden?”
“His mom had his hand in a tight hold.” A twist of pain for Jayden’s impending loss, something Wyn could understand all too well, swelled in him for the boy, no matter the wrong he’d done to Maddie. “I imagine she’ll hold onto him and keep him steady as the three of them talk and begin to work out their future.”
“I don’t know her well, but from what I do, she seems to be a levelheaded and loving woman.” Maddie’s gaze went cloudy, and Wyn had to wonder if she was thinking of her own late mother. Unlike Janet Carson, the late Mrs. Morgan had not been calm nor had she felt unconditional love for all of her children. “I’ll call Jayden tomorrow to remind him he still has a shift to work, and I expect him to be there.”
“That’s good. He’ll need the stability you provide right now.”
“I hope I’ll be able to help.”
Wyn brushed Maddie’s hair behind her ear, struck once again by how lovely she was, both inside and out. “You always do.” He studied her, the light in her eyes, and a rusty old nail started poking at his core. “So we solved the mystery,” he said, a tightness he couldn’t control edging into his voice.
“You solved it.” Maddie linked her arm in his, and her adoring smile cut a deeper jagged line into Wyn’s core. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you for giving me the credit.” He dipped down to kiss her hand, all the while silently ordering himself to calm the fuck down. “But I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you hadn’t opened me up to Mrs. Corsini and Nico, and if you hadn’t given me permission to live in your house.”
Lying back on the porch, Maddie muttered, “I’m just happy it’s all resolved,” and stretched her arms high over her head. “I can finally stop worrying about it every day. That will be nice.”
Not closed at all, the pit in Wyn’s belly turned into a chasm. “Our new deal stated that I stay until we figured out the mystery.” Words spilled out of his mouth unchecked, ones he wanted to swallow back down, but he couldn’t stop. “Are you saying you’re ready for me to go?”
Maddie bumped her leg with his. “Why would you say that?”
“That was our deal,” he reminded her, his tone ragged yet soft, without looking back at her. “I don’t want to disrespect it or you. If you want me to leave, I will.”
“Hey.” Springing up faster than a grasshopper, Maddie yanked Wyn around to face her. “Why do you keep doing this?”
Wyn plastered his back against the railing. “Doing what?”
“Asking me if your time here is up, when things have actually started to go really well for us.” Open bewilderment muddied the silver in Maddie’s eyes, turning the color to clay. “It’s like you want to leave, but you want me to be the one to do it. It’s like you’re trying to break us up.” Maddie’s face suddenly fell, and it was as if she was seeing a ghost again, only this time a menacing one. “It’s like what you did on my birthday four years ago.”
Wyn reared, although he was already fused to the porch beam. “What?”
“You wanted to break us up that night,” Maddie said quickly. “I always knew it, even though you’ve tried to tell me over and over again that I was wrong and that it was just a horrible mistake. And now you’re doing the same thing again, but in a different way. The question is,” with one look Maddie penetrated straight into his soul, “why?”
All the blood drained from Wyn’s body, leaving him numb and cold.
Chapter 15
Wyn sat two feet away from Maddie, but for her, it felt like a mile loomed between them. He looked like a zombie, yet Maddie’s heart ached to put life back in him and bridge the divide between them. Personal madness lived and thrived inside his head. In hers too; she could own that now. But if neither of them could let the demons go, they would hurt each other again, and this time maybe destroy each other in a way from which they could not recover.
Go back to where your friendship began. Maddie’s heart threaded fast and her stomach clenched, much as they had on that dark snowy night by the creek so many years ago. Give him the most vulnerable pieces of your heart first and pray he can find a way to do the same for you.
Exhaling some of the nerves out of her, Maddie notched her chin and managed a small, she hoped, encouraging, smile. “Back when you finally started listening to me about the ghost, and you opened yourself to the thought that I might know what I was talking about, that was when I was able to start letting go with you again. That was when I opened myself up to listening to you and believing in you again. I fought doing it. I fought it because I knew that once I let go of my anger with you, once I let myself start experiencing the absolute joy I feel whenever I’m in your company, it would be a quick slide to being madly in love with you all over again. And I was right.” She chuckled, but her chest banded tightly too. “I fell right away, but God did I resist telling you I loved you or letting you know. Holding back wasn’t to punish you, or so I could maintain some power over you, although if that’s what you thought, I wouldn’t blame you.”
His focus like a laser, Wyn quickly shook his head. “No.”
Her mouth dry, and her hands clammy, Maddie admitted, “The reason I didn’t tell you I loved you is because I was afraid. Afraid to even admit to myself how I felt, and definitely terrified to let you know anything. At first I told myself I didn’t dare say anything because I didn’t want you to have that power over me again, but that’s not the truth. At least not the complete truth. I was lying to myself. The truth is I was afraid to tell you because, for all that we are getting close again in so many
ways, for all the history and intimacy we’ve shared in the two weeks in this house, I still don’t know why you cheated and hurt me all those years ago.” The tightness in Maddie’s chest squeezed harder, but she ignored the inner signals to run and hide, and poured her most secret self out on the porch between them. “If I don’t know why you did what you did, then I feel so vulnerable to it happening again.”
His voice gruff, Wyn whispered, “Maddie…” and grabbed her hand.
The warmth in his touch so incredible, Maddie forced herself to untwine their fingers and put her hand against his lips. “Just let me get this out, because it’s hard to own, and if I stop I might not get going again.” Once he nodded, she pulled her fingers from his mouth and clutched her hands in her lap. “We are so close to perfect now, and if you want the truth, I could probably push down or ignore when I get that little poke of uncertainty about you, and we would be fine. I love you so much, and to have you in my life, there’s a big piece of me that would live with those little bubbles of fear and pray for the best. But that poke of uncertainty would always be there. And I don’t want it to be. I don’t think you want it there for me either.”
“Never.” The truth in Wyn’s utterance reached into Maddie’s chest and grabbed onto her heart.
So she told him, “Then the only way this panicky fear is going to go away is if you tell me the truth about why you had a woman at your house on my birthday. That’s the only way I am going to feel completely safe in the knowledge that you’ve moved past what drove you to bring that woman to your house on my birthday and do what you did with her, knowing I would see it. I think you need to get whatever is so clearly eating at you off your chest too.” Studying Wyn, the hard edge of his jaw and the unblinking returning stare, Maddie’s soul ached. Feeling that pain though, and watching him, she suddenly realized she no longer hurt for herself; the pain inside her was for him.
