by Nina Levine
The resigned look he gives me makes me even madder at the situation. Jett’s the kind of man who knows his next step at all times, the kind of man who decides what he wants and goes after it; I hate watching him struggle with this. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” he asks.
He’s been asking me this for two days now, and I’m not going to change my mind. “I’m sure. You’re going to be so busy with work and the last thing you need is me getting in the way. I just want you to focus completely on what you’ve gotta do without any distractions.”
His beautiful blue eyes don’t let me go. “You’re amazing, you know that, right?”
Frowning, I ask, “Why?”
“Because I only just promised you last week I’d put you first and make time for our relationship, and here I am taking off overseas for God knows how long and you’re supporting me.”
“Of course I’m supporting you. This is an awful situation, and not one you could ever predict would happen when you made me those promises. I don’t ever expect you to turn your back on your band or your band mates.”
He gives me a smile and kisses me. “Thank you.”
I return his smile and smack his ass lightly. The driver waiting outside for him has sounded the horn for the second time. “You should go now, otherwise I may never let you go.”
His smile turns into a grin and he drops his lips to mine again for one last kiss. It’s deep and it’s possessive; just the way I love his kisses to be. “You’re gonna lock yourself away, right?”
He’s confused me now. “What do you mean?”
Pulling me tight against him, he growls, “I mean I’m not gonna come home to find the men lining up outside your door, am I?”
“You seriously want me to stay home the whole time you’re away?” I can’t work out if he’s serious or not here.
He groans and rests his forehead against mine for a moment. “No, I don’t expect that, sweetheart, but honestly, all you have to do is run down to the supermarket in old tatty clothes looking like you just got out of bed, and the men are falling all over you. I hate having to deal with that here so I’m sure as hell not looking forward to having to think about it from a country away.”
I take hold of his face with both hands. “Jett Vaughn, you have nothing to worry about. My heart is yours and that’s all that counts. I don’t even notice those men supposedly looking at me.”
“Oh, I can assure you there’s no supposedly looking at you going on, they are fucking looking at you.” He pauses for a moment and gives me the softest look I’ve ever seen from him. It causes butterflies in my tummy. “I’m falling in love with you, baby,” he says softly, and my heart beats faster in my chest.
“I’m falling in love with you, too,” I tell him honestly. It wasn’t something I was looking for or something I wanted, but it’s the truth.
Jett Vaughn owns me, body and soul.
Jett leaves and I spend the rest of the day catching up on the things I’ve let slide since I met him. My accountant has been bugging me for weeks to give him the rest of my paperwork so he can file my return so I get that done amongst other things. When six o’clock comes around, I decide I’m done for the day and wander aimlessly around my apartment trying to decide what to do next. I’m at a loss. I’m so used to always working that to have all the time in the world to myself leaves me unsure of how to spend it
Finally, I give in and call Erin. “What are you doing tonight?” I ask when she answers her phone.
“I’m taking you out to a club, obviously.”
“Thank God.”
She laughs. “Be ready by nine. I’ll swing by in a cab and pick you up. And get ready to get your drink on, girl, it’s been too long between drinks for us.”
Three hours later, she picks me up and we head to our favourite club. She leads us to the bar, orders us a cocktail each and then asks, “How the fuck are you?”
“I’m an idiot.”
Raising her brows, she says, “Not what I was expecting to hear, but go on, because I want to know what you’re basing that on.”
I settle myself on the barstool. “I didn’t want a boyfriend so soon after ending my marriage, and yet here I am with one, and he’s gone away, and I’m left not knowing how the hell to pass my time without him. I’ve turned into one of those women whose life revolves around their men. So yeah, I’m a fucking idiot.” The bartender brings our drinks and I drink way more than one sip.
“You are so far from an idiot it isn’t even funny, babe. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend your time with Jett and there’s nothing wrong with having a boyfriend after walking away from Lennon. Jett’s brought something into your life that you never had with Lennon so I vote you embrace the shit outta that and see where it takes you.”
“I say it again, how the hell did you get so smart about relationships?”
Laughing, she says, “It’s easy to watch everyone else around you do relationships, a lot harder to be in them and work at them. I’m not a fool, though. I doubt I’d have anywhere near this sort of insight into my own relationship if I were in one. Now, as for you not knowing what to do with yourself while Jett’s away, I think it’s a perfect time to explore your career options.”
I sigh. “I know you’re right, but every time I start to think about that, I get blocked. It’s like my mind is sabotaging me.”
She drinks some more of her cocktail. “It probably is. This is a huge change for you so no wonder you’re struggling with it. I think you should actually stop thinking about it and just do.”
I pull a face at her. “What does that mean? Do what?” I take another long sip of my drink; I definitely need alcohol for this conversation.
“Get out there and take photos. It’s what you love to do so go do it. You never know, inspiration might hit while you’re doing it.”
I drink more and contemplate her suggestion. “Shit, maybe you’re right,” I mutter.
“I’m always right.” She grins at me, full of herself, and I have to laugh.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Oh God, help me, I’m surrounded by cocky people who - ”
She cuts me off. “Who only want the best for you. Honestly, you’re one lucky bitch to have us.” She raises her glass and adds, “Cheers to that!”
Shaking my head and laughing at her, I agree, “I hate to say it, but you’re right, and I will stop moaning about it.” I stop laughing for a moment. “But babe, you’re probably gonna have to put up with me whinging about missing Jett while he’s away. And the sex . . . oh God, the sex! I’m gonna miss that.”
She bangs her head on the bar and then looks at me with feigned dislike. “I don’t want to hear a word out of you about missing that sex. You should try living my life and getting irregular and not that good sex. Then you’d have something to whinge about.”
I laugh again; I can’t help it, she looks so wronged. “This is why I keep telling you to find a man to settle down with, even if just for awhile.”
She raises a finger in the air to halt me. “I’ve looked and there’s no one out there that interests me.”
An idea comes to me and I get momentarily excited. “I could help you look! While Jett’s away. There’s gotta be someone out there for you.”
A pained expression covers her face and she downs the rest of her drink. “God give me strength. No fucking way am I letting you shop around for a man for me.”
I ignore her and begin scouting the club for a man.
This could be fun.
A little over four hours later, we’re both drunk and are sitting at a table with two guys of which I am trying my best to get Erin interested in one of them. He would be perfect for her. Tall, dark and wearing a suit, I’ve gotten out of him that he’s a lawyer and comes from a family of lawyers and has a judge for a father. He’s never been married, has no kids and is thirty-two. That’s a perfect match for Erin’s tastes, but she’s resisting him. Probably because I’m pushing so hard for it.
“I propose these two go out on a date at least, and see if they have anything in common,” his friend says.
I turn to him. “Yesh! Great idea.” I’m slurring my words all over the place. Directing my attention to Erin, I say, “I am sooo drunk . . . you jush need to say yes and then we can all go home and shleep.”
Erin throws her hands in the air. “Okay, yes, I will go on a date with you,” she says to the lawyer, “but you better be good in the sack ‘cause I’m sick of bad sex.”
I high five his friend. We’ve been working on them for hours. “Thank fuck,” I mutter and he laughs. I’m just about to say something else when my phone rings. Checking caller ID, my heart jumps when I see it’s Jett. “Hello, baby,” I answer the phone trying hard to get my slurring words under control and act sober for him.
He’s not fooled, though. “Are you drunk, sweetheart?”
I giggle like a bloody schoolgirl. I try not to but I can’t stop myself. Damn alcohol. “Jush a little, but it’s all good, ‘cause we finally got Erin to say yes, so it was all worth it.”
“Where are you?”
He sounds concerned so I do my best to put his mind at ease. “I’m at the club but I’m okay. We’re with two lawyers so they are safe.”
“What do you mean you’re with two lawyers? Fuck, Presley, you’re worrying me.” I can hear the worry in his voice but I can also hear his exhaustion and I feel bad that I’m causing more worry for him.
“I’m shorry, Jett, but you don’t have to worry about me. Erin and I are jush having a girl’s night out and I found a man for her. We’re going home soon. How was your flight?”
“Long.” His tone seems a little off to me but I figure it’s because my brain isn’t at full speed after drinking all that alcohol.
“You should go to bed and shleep,” I suggest.
“Baby, it’s the morning here, and we’ve got a day of interviews scheduled.” His voice still sounds off to me but I ignore it. “How are you getting home? Please don’t tell me the two lawyers are taking you home.”
My brain kicks into gear and I finally figure out what the off sounding tone of his voice is. “Jett, I’m not going home with them if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Fuck, Presley, I’m not worried about that. I’m just concerned for your safety. You’re off your fucking face, out with strangers, and I think I have every right to be worried about you. And on top of all that, I’m so fucking far away and feel helpless, so please do me a favour and go outside and find a taxi while I’m on the phone to you. I need to be focused today for these interviews and I know I won’t be if I don’t know you are home safe.”
Oh.
Shit.
I click my fingers in the air to get Erin’s attention. “We have to go. Now.” I stand and wait for her to follow. She must sense the urgency in my voice because she stands straight away and says goodbye to the lawyers, of which I have forgotten their names so I just wave and say, “Bye,” before stumbling towards the front door of the club.
“Presley, are you still there?” Jett says into the phone.
“Sorry, yes I’m still here and we’re leaving now so I’ll let you go. I’m shorry I made you worry.”
“Wait, no, don’t go yet. I want you to stay on the phone until you get home.”
My mind is an alcoholic mess and all I can think is that I have already held him up when he’s got much more important things to do than worry about me getting home so I say, “Jett, you should go so you can get ready for your insherviews. I’ll call you later.” And then I hang up so he can go and do his work. When he calls my phone back a second later, I silence it and slip it into my bag. I don’t want to waste anymore of his time. Better to let him go and deal with his interviews.
Erin slips her arm into mine as we walk out to the taxi. “Did you just hang up on Jett?”
“Yeah.”
She tsks me and says, “You do realise he’ll be in a mad panic right about now, don’t you?”
I frown. “No, he’s busy with interviews so he’ll be focusing on that now.”
“Good God, woman, you are fucking clueless when it comes to that man. He fucking worships you, and I bet you, he’ll be over there in LA running around like a madman trying to get in contact with you.”
I wave her away. “No, he won’t. He’ll be grateshful I did what he said and caught a taxi home, and he’ll be busy with his band, you’ll shee.” A sudden wave of tiredness hits me and I yawn. I’m so glad to be going home. It’s been a great night but I need my bed now.
Erin’s voice sounds distant to me when she says, “You’re gonna wake up to hell tomorrow.”
I vaguely understand she’s saying something about hell, but all I can think about is how my pillow is going to feel like heaven very soon.
19
Jett
“For fuck’s sake, where is your head today?” Tom rants at me as we leave our third interview for the day. “You’re moody and coming off like an asshole. I know you’ve just had a long flight but that has never stopped you from getting the job done before.”
Fuck.
My head is with Presley today, and Tom’s right, it’s affecting my work. She hung up on me this morning and I haven’t been able to get back in touch with her. Rationally, I know she would have gotten home safe, but my irrational side has kicked in and I’m all over the place because of it.
And what the fuck was she doing out with two lawyers?
Fuck.
I shove my fingers through my hair. “Sorry, man, I’m worried about Presley, and I can’t think straight because of it.” I look at him in hope. “Tell me this shit gets easier the further into a relationship you get, ‘cause I’m not enjoying this a helluva lot at the moment.”
He shakes his head at me. “Jesus, this is because of her? I never thought I’d see the day where Jett Vaughn was this hung up on a woman. And no, I don’t think it gets easier so you need to get your shit together and find a way to cope with being so far away from her.”
“Shit,” I mutter as I check the time on my phone again. It’s just after four am in Brisbane so she’ll still be asleep. I’m desperate to talk to her but I don’t want to wake her up so I put my phone away. Thankfully, we’ve got another interview straight away so that should help take my mind off her.
Fuck, who the hell am I kidding? The only thing that will take my mind off her is her.
Tom leaves me to talk to Van, and West slaps his hand on my back. “Sorry to do this to you,” he murmurs, and I have no idea what he’s talking about.
Frowning, I ask, “Do what to me?”
“Dragging you away from Presley when you two are just getting started. I fucking hope we won’t have to be here for too long.”
“Shit, West, we’ve discussed this. This is not your fault, so you’ve got nothing to apologise for. And speaking of whose fault it is, do you know if Tom has found anything on that woman?”
“Nothing yet.” He sounds so down and it pisses me off, yet again, that she’s done this to him. West is usually the most upbeat one of our band, but at the moment, he’s so far down I don’t know what will bring him back up, short of her recanting her accusation. And I’m guessing that’s highly unlikely to happen. The woman contacted Tom just before we flew out of Brisbane to ask for money. If we pay her, she’ll do another interview and say it wasn’t true, but West is adamant he doesn’t want to pay her off.
“Okay, boys,” Tom rounds us up, “you’ve got fifteen minutes before the next interview. I’ll see you back here then.”
We’re holding the interviews in a hotel room in the same hotel we’re staying in so I head back to my room. I’m craving some quiet so I can try to work out everything running through my mind. I make it to my room and am closing the door behind me when my phone rings.
Goddamnit, I just want ten minutes to myself. Is that too much to ask?
I’m sure it’s Tom or one of the guys but when I check caller ID, I’m happy to see it’s C
laudia. She suffers from insomnia and often calls me at weird times when I’m overseas.
“Hey, sis,” I greet her with a smile on my face.
“Hey, big brother, are you kicking some ass over there or what?”
“More like I’m getting the band’s ass kicked,” I mutter as I sit down.
“That doesn’t sound good. Wanna talk about it?”
“I’m in a mood over Presley today and it’s interfering with our interviews. Tom’s just told me to sort myself out so that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Why are you in a mood over Presley? Did you have another fight with her?”
“No, I’m just worried about her because when I rang her earlier she was so drunk and I’m concerned she mightn’t have made it home. And of course she wouldn’t answer her phone when I tried to call her back and now she’s sleeping . . . fuck, I hate being overseas and away from her.”
“Okay, settle down because you’re working yourself up and that’s not going to help. Do you want me to drop by her place today and make sure she’s okay for you?” Claudia offers.
I sit up straight. “Yeah, I’d love you to do that if you’ve got time.”
“I’ve always got time to help you out, and besides, I want to meet this woman who has got you all messed up.”
She’s so right, Presley does have me messed up. Groaning, I thank her and throw my phone down on the bed in frustration. I drop my head into my hands and scrub my face. How the hell am I going to make it through however long we stay in the States when I’ve barely made it through the first day?
My irritation with the reporter climbs another notch at her latest question. She’s been goading us with her uncalled for comments about West and the rape accusation, and we’ve been holding it together like Tom has coached us to, but this woman is testing my patience.
“So you guys don’t think your female fans deserve more from you and from other men in public positions? Especially the younger fans who are still learning about sexuality and their rights to be respected when they say no?” she throws at us. She’s been banging on about well-known men thinking they have the right to take whatever they want from women, and I can’t hold my tongue any longer.
