by Jodie Larson
“Sounds amazing,” I say.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take you under our wing when the boys go on tour.” Lizzie smiles and pats my knee.
“Show you the ropes,” Tatum adds. “It’s not as scary as you think.”
I straighten my sundress and twiddle my fingers in my lap. “T-thank you.” They want to hang out with me after Pax leaves?
Adrienne waves a hand between us. “No thanks necessary. We need to stick together. When is Jayce done with school?”
“End of May.”
“Perfect,” Tatum exclaims. “Right around my due date. Then when the boys go on the road, we can all travel back to Kansas City together.”
Um, what?
Quinn reads my surprise. “I don’t think she knows about that plan.”
Leave California? What about Jenny and my mom? And Jayce? He’s never been anywhere else. Besides, I’m just the girlfriend. It’s not like we’re married or have been together for years. This is still brand new.
“Relax,” Adrienne says. “Nothing’s set in stone. It’s an idea. We’re from there, so we go back when the guys are on the road. This would be something completely different for you. Just something to talk about with Pax.”
I force a smile and nod. “Yeah, we’ll talk about it.”
Awkward silence fills the air until Quinn does a double-take as she looks at Lizzie’s finger. “Holy shit nuggets, you’re engaged?”
Lizzie turns a shade of bright red as she tries to cover up her left hand. Too little, too late. Quinn is on her feet and grabbing it, bringing it out to the light.
“Oh my gosh, when? Why didn’t you say anything?” Tatum asks.
“Well,” she starts, tucking and re-tucking her hair behind her ears. “We haven’t told our parents yet, so we weren’t going to say anything. I thought about not wearing it tonight, but I couldn’t bring myself to take it off.”
“I’d say not. Look at it.” Quinn gives a low whistle. “It’s gorgeous. Breck did good.”
Adrienne smiles. “That’s why you guys went on your trip.”
Lizzie nods. “It was so romantic. He proposed the first night and I don’t think we left the room after that.”
We laugh and admire her ring. Quinn is right. Not overly large, but big enough to draw attention with the ring of smaller diamonds surrounding the main solitaire. White gold or platinum—I can’t tell the difference between the two—completes the look.
“Have you set a date yet?” Adrienne asks.
“Not yet,” Lizzie says. “It’s only been a week.”
“My only request is that you wait until I’m not a beached whale.” Tatum rubs her belly again, pressing lightly against one side.
I remember those days. Pushing back a little foot as it sticks out. Jayce used to make a game of it. He’d kick in one spot until I responded, then move to another. The cycle would repeat until I finally got up and lulled him to sleep. Even in the womb that kid always wanted to move around.
“You’re not a beached whale,” Adrienne says.
Tatum scoffs. “Says the woman who barely looked pregnant during her last trimester. Seriously, you were tiny. Not like this.” She waves a hand over her body and laughs.
“Will there be a brother or sister soon for this adorable little girl?” Quinn picks Lyric up and bounces her on her knee. “Auntie Quinn needs a fix.”
“No babies for you?” I ask.
Quinn coos at Lyric and shakes her head. “Not anytime soon. I want to enjoy sex with my husband while my vagina is still the same shape and size.” She turns her attention to Lyric, who’s blowing little spit bubbles. “Yes, I do,” she says in baby talk.
“You’re a nurse. You know it goes back to normal,” Lizzie says.
Quinn eyes her skeptically. “Nothing ever goes back to normal when something that size comes down a tube that has to stretch to accommodate it.”
“It’s not a tube.”
“Canal. Whatever. Either way, muscles stretch that shouldn’t, things get saggy, then you have to go to a special doctor for a vaginal rejuvenation to make that shit tight again.”
The four of us stare blankly at her. She’s put way too much thought into this.
“We should join the guys,” Tatum says, grunting as she gets up from her chair.
Being a newcomer to the group, that conversation was going a direction I wasn’t prepared for. But I think I love Quinn. She’s hilarious.
The guys are all gathered around the fire pit, even though it’s not lit yet. I spy Jayce playing on the playground, taking full advantage of the swings and monkey bars.
I walk up to Pax, who wraps his arm around my waist. “Guys, this is Kylie. That’s Kade,” he says, pointing to the guy with the jet-black hair. Now I see where Lyric gets her hair from. “That’s Myles.” He salutes his beer to me and I nod. “Gabe.” The third guy—whom I’ve never heard of—nods. “And you know Brecken.”
“Nice to see you again,” Breck says.
I turn my attention to Kade as Adrienne slides into his side. “You both have a beautiful home.”
“You should see the one they have back in Kansas City. Kade designed it himself,” Myles says.
Kade shrugs. “It’s not as big, but it’s perfect for us.” He kisses his wife’s forehead.
Quinn walks up to Gabe, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss him. Ah, that’s where he comes in. Gabe looks down at Quinn, a gleam in his eyes as she talks to Lyric, who’s trying her best to get down to crawl. Poor man. Either he knows it’s going to be a while or he has no idea what’s about to hit him. Knowing a little more about Quinn, I’d say he knows exactly what he’s getting into.
“Let’s eat and open presents,” Myles says, wrapping an arm around Tatum.
She nods then winces. “First, I have to pee.”
The fire feels nice as we sit around and share stories, only reminding Quinn a handful of times to keep them PG with tiny ears around. Pax’s friends are great. I can see why they get along so well. He said they’re his brothers. I get it now. I never had close friends like this. After my dad died, things weren’t easy, and some friendships got pushed to the wayside. Then college hit and the friends I thought I had disappeared the minute I said I was pregnant.
Jayce sits on Pax’s lap while holding my hand, his little lids getting heavy. I’m about to suggest we go until Myles comes out with two guitars in hand.
“What is it with you and playing by the fire?” Breck asks.
Myles shrugs. “Don’t be pissy because you don’t have an instrument to play.”
Breck flips him off, which only garners a smile from Myles. Kade takes the other guitar and they tune them together, plucking the strings until they’re just right.
“A little GNR?” Kade asks.
Myles nods. “Let’s do it.”
The two of them strum their guitars, creating the most beautiful sound. I lean over to Pax.
“‘Patience,’” he says, answering my question without me asking.
To my surprise, Pax and Brecken join in for harmonies. I take Jayce from Pax’s lap, cradling him as we watch the four of them give us a private performance. It’s obvious they all share this passion and have been doing it for a long time. They’re so in tune with everything, it’s simply amazing. Now I get why Jenny loves them.
When the song ends, Myles starts strumming a different tune. Kade nods and joins in. Pax leans over, grabbing my hand and giving it a kiss. “This one is–”
“‘Wagon Wheel,’” I say, finishing his thought. “This one I know.” Though I doubt it’s the Darius Rucker version.
Once again, the four of them harmonize with grace and passion. I close my eyes and listen to the words, for once letting them sink deeper than the surface.
Jayce smiles at me. “I like their music.”
“Me too, buddy,” I say, tapping his nose.
The final note hangs in the air and we give a round of applause. Jayce yawns loudly, turning a few heads.
> “I think that’s our cue.” Pax stands and grabs him from my arms, letting Jayce’s head rest on his shoulders.
Kade and Adrienne stand and walk over. “Thanks for inviting us.”
I try to extend my hand, but it gets pushed aside for a hug. “Thanks for coming. I’m so glad we finally got to meet you. I’ll give you a call sometime and we can hang out. Okay?”
I nod and smile. “I’d like that.”
Waving to the rest of the group, we head back through the house and out the door. Pax buckles Jayce into his seat while I situate myself up front. Within minutes, we’re heading down the quiet street, back into normal territory.
“My place or yours?” he asks, rubbing his thumb in tiny circles on the bare skin of my thigh.
I really don’t want to kick him out of my bed anymore, but I’m not sure how Jayce would react if he spent the night.
“Mama, can Pax have a sleepover tonight? I want him to make me pancakes in the morning.”
I laugh and look to Pax, who feigns innocence. “I have no idea what he’s talking about. All I said is that I make a mean stack of pancakes. Then he told me about his favorites and asked if I could make them sometime.” He places a hand over his heart. “Swear to God.”
Guess this answers my question.
“If it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me.”
He doesn’t need to know what exactly a sleepover entails. We will have to lay down some ground rules between the three of us.
Not until the morning. An alarm will still need to be set, if only to get dressed. Otherwise we’ll traumatize the poor child. And I’m not ready to have that talk with him yet.
“You ready for the tour?” Breck asks, never once taking his focus off our game.
I’ve been dreading the tour, in all honesty. Ever since I was a kid, all I wanted was to go around the country and sing my songs. With Kylie and Jayce in the picture, my plans have changed. I want to spend more time with them, share this experience together.
Kylie and I have been avoiding the subject the last few weeks. We’re a little over a month away from going out and we have nothing finalized. She hasn’t seen the schedule and I haven’t talked to her about possibly going to Kansas City for the summer. But I don’t want to up-end her life. She’s always lived here. Her family is here. I’m not sure if it’s my place to ask her to leave the only comforts she knows to follow me and relocate to a strange, new city when I’ll only be there part of the time.
“Not even close.” I kill the guy attacking him, which earns me a shove.
“Loser. I almost had him,” he says. “You gonna see Kylie today?”
I shrug. “She told me not to come over. I guess the flu is going around the school something fierce, according to the letter she got yesterday. And today, Jayce sprung a fever and had an upset stomach.”
“She take off work?”
“I offered to watch him, so she didn’t have to, but she said she didn’t want me to get sick too.”
“It’s sweet,” he says. “She wants to protect you.”
“From the flu? That’s nothing. I want to help.” Like her saying not to come over while Jayce is sick will stop me. I’ve already got plans in the works, complete with balloons and soup—with a little help from her mom.
Breck hits pause. “How long you two been going out?”
Laying the controller in my lap, I look up to the ceiling. “Officially?” He nods. “Roughly three months?”
“So, it’s serious then, between you.”
Is this even a question? “Yeah, it is.”
“Then why haven’t you talked to her about the tour and summer plans? Don’t make my mistake by thinking you can solve everything without consulting her. She is a two-for package deal. Kylie’s going to do what’s best for Jayce and that may not be what’s best for you.”
“Think I don’t know that?” The fear has lived in the back of my head since the tour announcement. If Kylie didn’t think she could handle this lifestyle or want to keep Jayce away from the spotlight, I don’t know what I’d do. I’m not nearing the edge of a cliff. I’ve fully jumped over without a parachute, into the abyss of the unknown. Kylie and Jayce mean everything to me. More than music. More than this life.
Now I understand why Myles fought so hard for Tatum after she came back. This band, this lifestyle means nothing unless she’s in my life.
“Then what’s stopping you from actually telling her how you feel?”
The ten-million-dollar question of the day. “I don’t want her to think I’m rushing things because I’ll be on the road for six months. Now is not the time to word vomit all over our relationship.”
“Delusional.” Breck hits start and we fall back into killing the enemy, effectively ending our little heart-to-heart.
He doesn’t understand. When he was chasing Lizzie, they already had history. It was logical to express his feelings early in their relationship. Kylie and I…we’re new. And I don’t want to rush her into something she may or may not be ready for. It doesn’t diminish the fact I can’t see a future without her or Jayce. That little boy has brightened my world, letting me feel like a kid again, doing things I always wanted to with a father-figure growing up. He’s even becoming quite the little drummer, much to Kylie’s dismay.
And I think she feels the same way. Not all the walls around her heart have chipped away, so some of her defenses are still up. At least they’re low enough for me to step over.
Checking my watch, I note the time and toss my controller on the table. “Gotta go. Have plans to execute and see a sick little boy.”
Breck laughs and shuts down the Xbox. “Don’t you ever listen?”
I shrug and slide my sunglasses on. “Why start now.”
Thanks to Kylie’s mom, I picked out three dinosaur balloons and a to-go container of his favorite soup from the restaurant down the street.
Jenny answers the door, a smile gracing her face. “Oh, he’s going to love you.” She steps to the side and shuts the door behind me. “How’d you get them here on your bike?”
I laugh. “Borrowed Breck’s car.”
She nods. “You should just get your own car for as often as you need to use his. Can’t exactly take the three of you out on your bike.”
Valid point. It’s crossed my mind a time or two, but I can’t give up my bike. Maybe I’ll just pick up a car so Brecken can stop complaining. Though he’s still winning because he gets to use my bike.
I walk into the living room and find the two people who mean the world to me. Poor little Jayce is sleeping on Kylie’s lap, face pale and mouth gaping open. He looks miserable.
Kylie looks over and the concern on her face instantly melts away. “What are you doing here?”
Holding up the balloons and soup, I walk over and set them down on the table. “Figured he could use something to cheer him up.”
She softly strokes his hair and gives an appreciative smile. “Thank you. He’s going to love the balloons.” Her gaze darts to the container. “And I’m assuming it’s chicken dumpling?”
“Only the best.” I take a seat next to her and kiss her lips. “You knew I wouldn’t stay away.”
Kylie laughs quietly. “Yeah, I know. But I really don’t want to get you sick. Not before your busy schedule coming up.”
With the album dropping next week, the label has us lined up for a slew of interviews and TV appearances, keeping us busy most days and hours of the week.
“Let me worry about that. Besides, that’s what Tamiflu is for. I can always take a pill to mask the symptoms long enough to get me through.” I place my hand over hers, feeling Jayce’s fever. “This is more important.”
A tear treks down her cheek before she quickly wipes it away. “I’m sorry. I think I’m overly tired. I’ve been up all night with him and I get emotional when I don’t sleep.”
“Here,” I say, patting my shoulder. “Lean your head against me and close your eyes.”
“What about J
ayce?” she says through a yawn.
I kiss the top of her head as she gets comfortable. “Let me worry about the both of you. You’re no good to him if you wear yourself down. I’ve got you.”
Within minutes, her breathing regulates and slows. She wasn’t kidding. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her fall asleep that fast.
Tracy—Kylie’s mom—walks past the living room but pauses as she takes us in. “Are you comfortable? Should I take them?”
“No, I’m good.” I drape my arm around Kylie, sinking further into the corner so she can recline a little more. “We’re fine.”
Tracy nods with a smile. “Yes, you are.” She hands me the TV remote. “In case you want to stare at something other than the wall.”
“Thanks,” I say before she walks back to the kitchen.
After one episode of Scrubs, Jayce starts to stir, blinking awake and swiping at his eyes.
“Hey, bud. How you feeling?”
At the sound of my voice, he turns my way with a little more color in his face. “When’d you get here?”
“While you were sleeping. Your tummy hurt still?”
He shakes his head. “It feels better. But I’m hungry. Mama wouldn’t let me eat because I was throwing up all the time.”
In a deft maneuver, I slide Kylie onto a pillow while directing Jayce to the floor. Letting her take the entire length of the couch, I drape the thin blanket over her legs. She stirs slightly but stays asleep.
I join Jayce on the floor and open the lid on the container. Instantly, he beams. “My favorite. How’d you know?”
Tapping my head, I smile. “I’m a mind-reader.”
He takes the plastic spoon and starts slurping up the broth. I suggest slowing down a bit, and he complies.
“Want some?” he asks, holding out a spoon full of broth that drips over the edge.
I shake my head. “No, bud. You eat. You need your strength.”
He takes a few more bites and pushes it away. “I’m full.”
“Okay, don’t want to make your tummy upset again.” I look to the TV. “Want to watch a movie?”
