I took a breath to settle myself before looking over at him leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed as he beamed.
“I love that,” he said before striding into the room to take a closer look.
“Really?” I asked as I turned in my chair to face him.
“You have to use it. The clients will love it,” he said with a nod.
“You’re the boss,” I answered. “You want to see the other ones I chose?”
“Of course!”
I clicked through the files.
“I like them. Go back to the one of you and the hot dude you’re in love with,” he ordered.
“I’m not in love with him,” I replied as I clicked back to it.
I’d tried to click past it quick enough that he wouldn’t notice. It obviously didn’t work.
“And he’s not in love with you either,” Jesse teased as he looked at me through heavily lidded eyes.
“As far as I know he’s not.”
Jesse shook his head and pointed to the photo.
“Can you revert this back to color, and then dim the color so it looks a bit vintage?”
I did as he instructed, and he straightened his back.
“Perfect, now send them to the printer so we can get the files for the grand opening.”
He began to head out the door but then turned.
“Oh, and by the way your new name plate will be coming in soon.”
I shook my head in question.
“Lead Brand Expert and Photographer,” he said.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
“Ten percent raise will be in your next pay check, Chao!”
He left me sitting there in shock. I turned back to the screen with my hand over my mouth as I stared at the picture Jesse loved so much.
Adam had his forehead pressed to mine and our eyes were closed as my hands entwined in his over his heart.
It screamed love, so why was it breaking my heart?
Chapter 13
I knew I had to be strong, but when Jesse sauntered into my office waving two tickets to the grand opening of Sincere, I wanted to launch myself out the window. I’d been there for the delivery of the marketing materials including three oversized prints of Adam and me, but I’d left just as the interior designer had began to rip the brown paper off of them.
I didn’t want to see them again…or ever.
“You going?” Tara asked, nodding to the tickets on my desk as she flopped in the chair.
I looked up at her and sighed. “I don’t really want to.”
“Come on! It’s going to be so cool—we never get to go to these things.”
I nudged them towards her and grabbed the keys to my desk.
“You go then,” I said as I locked up.
She shook her head. “I have class.”
“That’s a bitch,” I replied, scooping up the tickets and shoving them in my purse.
“Besides, Jesse would totally be pissed if I showed instead of you,” she said, cocking her head. “You deserve to go. There could be famous people there!”
I stood and grabbed my leather jacket off the coat rack. “This is Boston, not LA.”
“There’s still plenty of famous people here—doesn’t Martha Stewart live somewhere around here?”
I blinked at her a few times, one arm stuck in my jacket as I stared at her. “I think that’s Connecticut.”
Tara rolled her shoulders. “Whatevs.”
“Get out of my office!” I ordered as I slipped the remainder of the jacket on.
“You’re such a b-i-t-c-h,” Tara teased as she walked out in front of me.
“Watch it,” I said, nodding to the plaque on my door. “I’m big time now.”
“Make sure you wear something sexy to that thing, you could meet Adam Levine there.” Tara winked, and I looked at the ceiling.
The only Adam I wanted was the one holding me like he loved me in the photographs that would taunt me tonight.
Chapter 14
I looked in the mirror and heaved a sigh before slipping into my snakeskin pumps. I decided to go with a dash of mascara, red lipstick and a teal one-strap dress that flowed off of my hips. I took one last look; I might have looked pretty, but I felt like hell.
I closed the door to the apartment, clutch in hand, to hear a whistle behind me.
“Wowza!” Bobby said, and as I turned he was leaned against his door, arms crossed, eyes wide. “Where are you going looking like that?”
“I’ve got another ticket if you can stick a button-up and a tie on,” I said as I pulled the two tickets out.
“I’ll be out in five minutes,” he replied as I let my shoulders slump.
I wouldn’t have to endure this alone.
When he came back out he’d fluffed his hair, sprayed on some cologne and was wearing a white button-up ready to bust at the shoulder seams with a skinny blue tie that played off the color of his eyes.
“How do I look?” he asked, sauntering over to me and holding out his arm.
“Like good arm candy,” I said as I slipped my arm easily into his massive one.
“Diddo on that one, Madame. So what is this thing we got all dolled up for?”
I cringed as I said, “The grand opening of the salon.”
“The one I gave you a nice black eye for?” Bobby asked, his body tensing.
“You can still back out.”
“Nope, I screwed up enough on that one. I’ll support you for this portion of it.”
“Thanks,” I said, resting my head on his arm as we walked down the stairs.
“Of course,” he replied, his voice quiet. “You seem like you don’t want to go.”
I took a deep breath to compose myself, and he pulled away to open the door. His eyes searched mine as I walked by him.
“It’s not that,” I managed to say.
I looked up and Bobby cleared his throat, eyebrows drawn together.
“Fine, I’m not really looking forward to it,” I admitted.
“And why is that?” Bobby asked, taking his keys from his pocket and unlocking his over-sized truck.
I jumped up into my seat and waited for him to slide into the driver’s side.
“I’ve never seen my photography on display like that,” I said.
“It’s going to be great!”
“If you say so.” I looked down at my hands in my lap before changing the subject. “Tell me about this new girlfriend of yours?”
“Her name is Jackie—she’s a teacher at the high school,” Bobby answered, his eyes straight ahead and unenthusiastic.
“And?”
“And what?”
“It doesn’t seem like you’re thrilled,” I said.
His lips were pursed and he scrounged his nose up. “She’s a control freak.”
“Exact opposite of one teacher we know,” I joked.
Bobby’s face soured at the mention of Adam. “Yeah, Adam’s something else.”
“You guys fighting again?”
Bobby snorted. “Like we ever stopped?”
“Why are you all of a sudden at war with each other?” I asked.
Bobby didn’t answer; instead he continued to stare straight ahead with shoulders hunched and face hard.
“I guess I’m not going to get an answer?”
Bobby slowed as he hit the traffic for the event.
“Is that it up there?” he asked, nodding towards a brightly lit building with a red carpet visible.
“I’d say so,” I replied.
Bobby snuck into the last open space, which was actually two. He put the truck in park before hopping out and coming around to open my door.
He held his hand out for me, and I jumped down into his arms. The moment felt awkward as his hands slipped up my sides and to my bare back. It felt wrong, especially when he was looking down at me as if I was everything. I smiled and pulled away as naturally as I could, but he let his fingers slide through mine. It was like he was reminding m
e about his feelings, and it left me feeling empty.
“You couldn’t get a normal sized vehicle?” I decided to ignore it and playfully nudged him in the ribs.
“I’m not normal sized,” he answered, and his lips pursed out in a suggestive way.
I closed my eyes, shaking my head before I straightened the dress.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said.
“It won’t be that bad,” Bobby assured me, his hand guiding me on the small of my back.
As soon as we entered the dimly lit room we were greeted by servers with food, which Bobby was happy to devour. I shook my head no as I glanced around the room, taking in the plush red leather barber chairs lining the black and white walls. People were lounging in them like sofa chairs as they laughed with their faces painted in the lights from the DJ. The room reverberated with the bass from the pop music he was playing. I scrounged my nose, never a fan of main stream music, and let my eyes wander further into the room to the back wall.
There they were—the three enormous canvas photographs I’d taken. They looked amazing backlit against the black wall.
I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away.
“River!” Jesse called out, coming towards me out of the crowd. “They look amazing don’t they?”
I nodded, feeling lightheaded as my gaze wandered back to them and to the biggest photo in the middle—Adam and I.
“It’s more than just a display of your photography,” Bobby growled in my ear.
He pulled away from me and crossed his arms, eyebrow twitching as he looked at the photograph of me laughing at something Adam had said as he snapped the picture. I watched as his jaw clenched at the one of Adam standing with his shirt unbuttoned, hands in his pockets as he looked off into the distance. It was my favorite picture of him, and I could see Bobby hated everything about it.
“Who’s this?” Jesse asked as he came closer to us.
“Cool it,” I hissed under my breath to Bobby, who looked like his head was about to pop off.
“This is my friend Bobby—Bobby, meet my boss, Jesse.”
“Ah! You were supposed to be the original model for the shoot, right?” Jesse asked, shaking Bobby’s hand.
“Yeah, regretting that a lot right now,” Bobby managed to say, his voice rough.
Jesse looked at me, and I mouthed the words sorry. Jesse shrugged before turning back to Bobby.
“Amazing photographs, though, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s my kid brother there,” Bobby said and a light came to Jesse’s face.
“Who would know; you don’t look anything alike,” Jesse observed.
“I guess it’s a matter of taste,” Bobby commented, and I reached behind his back and pinched him.
“That’s more Riv’s speed,” he continued.
Jesse gave a fake smile, his eyes saying ‘save me’, before he nodded towards the crowd. “I should mingle, you two enjoy yourselves!”
“Thanks,” I hissed at Bobby before I made my way towards the pictures.
As I stood looking up at them the feeling in my stomach worsened. It was obvious I loved Adam.
God, it so obvious, especially in those photographs.
“Now I get it,” Bobby said, his tone even as he stood behind me.
“What?”
“It wasn’t about your photographs being on display. It was about your feelings being on display.”
I turned on my heel to face him. “Why are you suddenly hell bent on destroying Adam?”
Bobby’s eyes darted across my face, then up to the pictures and finally down to his hands.
“Listen Riv, the Beckerson boys share one common flaw—you.”
“You’re fighting over me?” I said in shock.
Bobby’s eyes rose to mine. “It’s not much of a fight is it?”
“Adam doesn’t have feelings for me,” I said, my chest rising as I became frantic at the thought.
Maybe if Bobby was acting this way, Adam did have feelings for me.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Bobby answered, shaking his head. “That’s what he keeps telling himself…but I see the way he looks at you—the way he’s always looked at you. It’s the same way you look at him, and it kills me, Riv, it really does.”
“Our whole lives and you tell me this now?” I snapped at him, suddenly overcome by the emotion.
The room felt as if it was getting smaller around me, and all I could do was focus on Bobby as his chest heaved with the same anger.
“I’m not going to lie to you.” Bobby’s eyes met mine with venom. “I don’t want him to admit it. I want him to never see the way you love him.”
“What?” I said as I stepped closer to him.
“I want you to myself. You’ve known it our whole lives, too—so don’t act so innocent.”
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. I had known our whole lives, but I’d never kept anything away from him. He knew I loved Adam, yet he lied to keep me to himself.
“You know I don’t feel that way,” I whispered back, and I knew there were hot tears building in my eyes.
“I could make you, though,” Bobby’s voice cracked as he reached for my face. His large hand cupped my chin—soft, warm, and loving but no feelings beside fond friendship rose inside me.
“No,” I said. “You can’t change it.”
He leaned his head down towards me, his lips hovering over mine. “Let me try.”
I turned my head just as his lips would have met mine, and he cursed.
My stomach rolled as the emotions washed over me. Anger, sadness and embarrassment weren’t a good mix.
“Damn it, River!”
“Take me home.”
“Whatever,” he said, turning and heading towards the door.
I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I looked around the room. Luckily, it was so busy and crowded that no one seemed to have noticed our little spat. I followed Bobby out and looked over my shoulder one more time at the photographs.
Did Adam love me?
When I got to the truck Bobby already had it in gear, and before I had even shut the door he was pulling out into the traffic. He drove erratically in his irritation, and I closed my head as it began to pound.
Somehow we managed to make it to the apartment in one piece. Bobby didn’t utter a word to me as he stormed away.
I used the elevator for the first time in years. I just didn’t have the strength to walk anymore. When I got into my apartment I kicked off my shoes and flopped onto the couch to look up at the ceiling.
I couldn’t let myself believe the kiss Adam and I shared meant as much to him as it had me. If I did there would be no turning back, and Bobby saw that in those pictures.
I was losing grip on everything, and worst of all, I was hurting everyone I loved.
Chapter 15
Bobby’s revelation about Adam only made it harder to talk to him. It was easier to avoid Adam completely, but I couldn’t help but glance at him as I got into my car, or as I closed the door of my apartment before he could speak. His eyes were always sad, begging me to stop and talk to him, but I never did. Two weeks had passed like this, and Bobby had become suddenly busy with the reappearance of his girlfriend after our argument. Instead of mopping around alone I finally broke down and invited Tara over. Tara was one of my only girlfriends, but between work and hanging out with the boys I never really found too much time for her.
I had been avoiding her for the mere fact I knew she would try to fix me up with someone as a solution to the Adam problem. She had a caring nature which always inspired her to hook me up with one of her current boyfriend’s friends. It also didn’t help she had a major crush on Bobby, and telling her he had a girlfriend would motivate her even more to create a ridiculous double date. It was just a matter of when more than if.
We stood out on the balcony with wine coolers chatting about work when I heard giggling below. We stopped talking, and I watched as Adam came to the entrance with a girl
piggybacked on him. I knew my body had frozen with drink half-way up to my mouth as I watched.
It confirmed the kiss had meant nothing, but sent nausea rolling in my stomach.
Adam’s eyes drifted from the path in front of him up to the balcony, and the smile plastered on his face disappeared as we stared at one another.
I looked back up at Tara as I tried to keep the anger and hurt down.
Her chin tucked into her neck as she looked at me.
She’d seen the glance Adam and I exchanged, and her expression said she was suspicious.
“Wait a second; did something happen between you two?” she asked.
“Why would you say that?” I replied much too quick.
She narrowed her eyes at me as she loosened her pointer finger from her bottle and pointed between me and the space where Adam had been. “That was awkward, and you look like someone took a hockey stick to your stomach more than the usual amount when you see him with someone else.”
“Well, Bobby has a new girlfriend!” I managed to say.
She looked up at the sky and blew her hair from her eyes. “So, I have a crush on Bobby…it’s not like you and Adam.”
I rubbed my face with my free hand. “Nothing happened.”
Tara broke out into one of those smiles I hated—one that let me know she had an evil plan.
“Great! I have a new boy toy, and he has a friend who is dying to meet you,” she said, and her eyes begged me to deny her the pleasure.
“Wonderful, when did you set it up?”
I knew she had done it without asking.
“Tonight?” she asked, tilting her head and fluttering her lashes.
“Great,” I answered, dragging out the word.
Tara knew I wasn’t very amused as she layered on my eye makeup with a pout in an attempt to change the way I felt. She pulled a lipstick from her purse, slowly pushing the stick out and revealing its bright red color.
“Pucker,” she ordered. “Could you act a little more enthusiastic?”
I looked down at the little black dress she chose from my closet. It was ruched on one side and just above my chest the material turned to lace.
Flawed Perfection Page 7
