“Hey!” Andy shouted.
My head snapped around to see him naked on top of Monica.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” I yelled, grabbing at the nearest pillow on the ground. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
I started beating him with it, yelling expletives.
Then before I could comprehend what I was doing, Adam’s arms were around me, holding me from pounding the living daylights out of my cheating boyfriend.
“What’s going on in here?” Adam shouted over my screeches. Then he saw Monica grabbing at sheets.
“Kiki over here decided Andy was more her taste,” I spat. I had no idea where the name had come from, but it seemed to fit her well.
“Is that supposed to be racist?” Monica hissed, her eyes slits.
“No, it means you’re a fucking whore,” I said as Adam continued to hold me back.
Andy held the pillow he’d grabbed from my hands over his crotch saying, “Who could blame her? I mean I have at least three inches on this dude.”
The reference he was making was not to height, because he was at good eight inches taller than Adam. I could feel the bile rising in my throat at the thought.
Adam’s muscles tighten around me. “You’d be surprised, dude.”
“What about the fact you cheated on me?” I yelled, lunging at him again, only to be held back by Adam.
“He’s not worth it. They’re both pieces of shit,” Adam said, breath warm on my shoulder, but his tone lacked the venom.
I wasn’t sure he really cared. I wasn’t sure why I did, or if I did, or if I was just loaded on Southern Comfort and pink stuff.
“Hey!” Monica said.
“Really?” I mocked her, eyebrows arched.
“Get the hell out of my apartment, and never come back, got it?” Adam ordered, and before anyone could respond he was turning me away from them and guiding me out of the room.
Adam’s hand stayed entwined in mine as he led me to his bedroom to escape the overcrowded room. I closed the door behind me and leaned my head back against it.
“I should’ve known,” I said as Adam reached over and locked his door.
There was nothing like a cheating boyfriend to sober someone up.
Adam put his hands on either side of my head and lowered his face to mine.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I sighed, looking up at him with a smile. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Mhmm,” he said as his eyes searched my face. “The thing is I don’t really give a shit.”
I nodded and moved around him to drop onto the bed.
Adam crawled in beside me and pulled me into his arms. I closed my eyes as I leaned my head into his shoulder and let the feeling of his body heat wick into mine before taking a deep breath. His sweet scent swept over me, intoxicating me more than the liquor I’d consumed; despite the alcohol, he still smelled like Axe cologne and my fabric softener.
“You know something?” Adam said as his fingers traced imaginary lines over my bare arms and caused my skin to dance in pleasure.
I shook my head as I looked up at him. I wasn’t sure if I was breathing anymore, or if I even cared if I was.
His free hand cupped my chin, thumb stroking my cheek as his lips hovered so close I could taste them against mine.
“You’re the first girl I fantasized about, the first girl that made every part of me feel like it was on fire…and every time I see you I still feel it. It’s like you’re the only thing I ever really needed. You’re my best friend, but every part of me wants you more and more every time I see you—hell, it’s every time I think about you. That kiss…you can’t tell me it didn’t mean anything to you?”
“You were upset,” I whispered, watching as he slowly shook his head.
“That kiss meant everything to me,” he said.
“You are everything to me,” I answered, and his lips crashed into mine.
I didn’t need to breathe anymore. All I needed was him as my body filled with half panic and half intense yearning kept in too long. His lips raced across mine, then to the skin of my neck, and I knew he felt the same. I let out a soft moan, and Adam rolled his body over mine, his hands pressing mine into the pillows. His tongue swept over my collarbone before he paused for a breath, letting it wash over my skin in a way that made me want to scream.
I freed my hands from his and pulled the weight of his body onto mine, biting at his neck as my hands dug into the firm muscles of his shoulders.
“God, River, you’re trying to kill me,” he gasped in response.
I let my lips trail up to his ear before whispering, “Are you enjoying it?”
He chuckled before turning his lips back to mine, taking my breath away again as his fingers unbuttoned my shirt. His eyes watched mine as he pulled away, kisses trailing further and further down my abdomen as he worked each button free. I sat up as he pulled me into his arms, lips grazing my neck and bare shoulders as the material fell away.
I ran my hands up his shirt, pulling the soft cotton over his head and throwing it aside so I could kiss his chest and shoulders. Adam groaned as my hands worked their way down to his pants.
“Wait,” he said as I began to slide them off his hips.
Everything stopped for me; my breathing, my thoughts and my heart.
I swallowed. “What?”
His chest heaved as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine.
“Are you sure you really want this?”
I answered him with one slow kiss, letting his lip ring slide through my teeth.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he gasped as he pulled my body to his own, his hands freeing my bra and tossing it aside.
He swallowed as he looked down at me.
“You’re amazing,” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss me softer than before.
Everything slowed from there into a fuzzy ecstasy I wasn’t sure was a dream or not. His body fit perfectly into mine, and the heat of the pleasure was almost too much to take. It took minutes for my chest to stop heaving, and soon I drifted off into a sweet sleep with the rise of fall of his breathing beneath my head.
Chapter 23
When I woke the next morning I was groggy, and my head had a dull thud in it. I shot up, taking in my surroundings. I knew where I was, and judging by my lack of clothes, I hadn’t been dreaming.
Adam came out of the bathroom, followed by a plume of steam with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“You might want one of these,” he said with a light smile on his face as he handed me a glass of water and a Motrin ™.
I sat up to take the glass without thinking, and the sheet covering me fell around my waist.
I watched as Adam took a deep breath. His eyes drifted over my naked upper body as our hands clasped over one another on the glass.
“Thanks,” I said as I took the glass from him and tossed the pill in my mouth.
I set the glass down after chugging it, and grabbed the nearest shirt to pull over my head. Adam stood watching as I yanked my jeans over my bare legs.
“Leaving already?” he finally spoke.
I looked up and smiled at him. “I don’t think this would be the easiest thing to explain to Bobby.”
He looked down at the floor where the rest of his sheets lay tangled, biting the lip ring into his mouth.
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”
I leaned up and kissed his neck. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
His arm wrapped around me, pulling me to his skin.
I took a deep breath of his clean, comforting scent as he whispered in my ear, “I like the way you look in my t-shirt.”
“Good, I’m keeping it,” I said as I pulled away and looked up at him. Every part of my body tingled and ignited as we stared back at one another—I didn’t want to leave, especially now that I knew the feeling was mutual.
“We’ll talk later?” he repeated as his eyes studied my face.
I nodded my hea
d before turning and sticking it out to check the coast was clear before scooting out. As I closed the door to Adam’s room his eye’s met mine, begging me not to leave.
We had so much to talk about, but I was already running away. I shut the door anyways, and when I turned a light yelp I covered with my hand echoed from my mouth.
“Tara!” I said as quietly as I could in my surprise as I looked at my best girl friend sneaking out of Bobby’s room.
“River!” she said, just as shocked as happy smirk covered her face.
We both rushed for the front door trying to withhold the fit of laughter.
She looked hilarious in Bobby’s extra large shirt, literally now a dress on her, and I was quite sure my hair was sticking straight up in several places.
When we got into my apartment we fell on the couch in a fit of loud, happy giggles.
“Holy crap!” Tara said. “What happened last night?”
“Freaking heaven, that’s what!” I replied through tears.
“You’re telling me!” she answered, and we started laughing again.
After several seconds of trying to catch our breath we turned to face one another, suddenly serious.
“Really, what happened?” I asked finally.
Tara shrugged. “After you and Adam ushered Kiki out,” she dragged out the word, teasing my nastiness. “Jackie threw a temper tantrum, at which point Bobby went ballistic on her. So then that was over, and Bobby and I were talking on the balcony…I was pretty loaded, and for some reason I just happened to admit I’d had a crush on him since I met him…one thing led to another, and here we are—very satisfied, I might add.”
I scrounged my nose at the last comment. “That good, huh?”
Tara took a deep breath, flopping back on the couch. “You have no idea.”
“Eww, he’s like a brother to me!” I said, grabbing a pillow from behind me and swinging it at her.
She sat up, grabbing the pillow, and eyed me. “Speaking of brothers, what happened with you and his?”
I looked down at Adam’s t-shirt covering my body and the butterflies rose up again, along with an unhealthy dose of doubt.
“We went into his bedroom to escape the madness the party had become, and then he admitted how long he’d had a crush on me…one thing led to another,” I said, playing with the hem of his shirt.
“What’s wrong?” Tara asked, leaning forward and taking my hands in hers. “You were so happy a second ago?”
I closed my eyes and took several breathes before opening them to see Tara’s soft eyes pondering mine.
“I know Adam.”
“No!” Tara stuck her index finger in my face. “Don’t you dare start thinking like that! You do know Adam, and he wouldn’t do that to you!”
I swallowed, trying to reassure myself, but my response came out weak, “I know.”
Tara frowned at me. “Go take a shower, you smell like good sex and unnecessary regret.”
“I need coffee,” I groaned as I stood up.
Just then a hammer made itself known as my brain rattled in my skull.
“After we both shower, so hurry up so I can clean up, too!” Tara ordered, her sheet of thick brown hair falling in a tangled mess in her eyes.
When I came out of the shower covered in a towel Bobby and Tara were wrapped tightly around one another on my couch.
“Hello,” I coughed and for the first time ever, when Bobby looked up at me he didn’t look like he wanted me.
Relief washed over me. Maybe Adam and I could be together.
“Hey,” Bobby said, smiling at me. “Sorry, I just couldn’t wait to see her again.”
“Eww,” I said, making a mock sick face as I went to the bedroom.
When I came out dressed Bobby and Tara were nowhere in sight, but the shower was running. Great, now my two best friends were doing it in my bathroom.
I rolled my eyes, it was much better than Andy being in there, that was for sure. I stood in my empty kitchen and wished Adam was there making me breakfast like he had a few weeks before. I leaned against the counter as I looked around the empty space, taking a shaky breath.
Everything felt different all of a sudden. I felt like I was being torn in two—I yearned to walk across the hall and fall into Adam’s arms again, but the other half of me doubted it was real. The worst part was the internal battle raging that said everything could be destroyed now. This could result in the ultimate demise of a relationship I’d had for my whole life. Adam wasn’t just the man I loved, he was my best friend, the person who knew me better than I knew myself—but now, what were we?
“I feel much better!” Bobby called as he walked out of the bathroom into my living room, toweling his hair.
I rolled my eyes at him, leaning over my kitchen island. “Usually that’s what happens when you finally get some.”
Bobby chucked the towel at me. “Why didn’t you ever tell me Tara was interested in me?”
I grabbed the towel out of the air and stared at him for a moment with my mouth open. “You never asked!”
“Well,” Bobby replied, leaning forward as well. “You should’ve told me.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “This better not be another booty call, got it?”
Bobby lowered his head to mine, his lips in a stern line as he answered, “I really like her, River. It’s the first time…I’ve been able to forget about you.”
Our gazes searched one another before Tara walked into the room.
“Why so serious?” she interrupted.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Bobby said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her lightly on the forehead.
I’d never seen him or Tara so happy, so why were my insides bubbling?
Chapter 24
I tried to slow my breathing as I closed the door to my apartment Monday morning. I’d only left the apartment with Bobby and Tara for coffee to save my head, but the rest of the time I sat looking through photo albums and questioning my actions on Friday night. The worst part was Adam hadn’t made any attempt at talking to me at all.
I felt eyes on me, but when I turned Adam was already half way down the stairs. I watched his back fade and then listened for the sound of the door opening and closing. The tears were already coming heavily down my face, and although I wanted to turn back into my apartment and bury my head in my pillow, I didn’t. I marched down the stairs and out to my car and went to work. I acted like nothing was wrong. When, in fact, everything was wrong.
“Hey,” Jesse said from behind me as I stared at my computer screen without seeing.
He came around my desk and sat in one of the chairs, crossing his legs and propping his arms up.
“What’s up?” I asked, my voice trembling.
Jesse frowned at me. “You okay there?”
“Yeah, why?”
Jesse shook his head at me. “I just wanted to check on the branding for the Marquee?”
“I’m running with this idea,” I replied, opening a folder and spreading a few images out. “I like the abstract feel. It’s nice and modern, and here are the models I’ve called in for the shoot.”
Jesse ran his eyes over the pictures. “Looks great—I’d like to see some bold colors surrounded by black and whites.”
“Will do,” I replied as I shuffled the papers and placed them back in their project folder. I couldn’t help the flat tone in my voice. Normally, I would be excited for a photo shoot and another branding project, but now everything felt so wrong. Even my job felt wrong, after all, Adam had helped me get it.
“You sure you’re okay?” Jesse asked, cocking his head at me.
“Positive.”
“Does this have something to do with the brothers that are both head over heels for you?”
I found myself scoffing, and I had a feeling the look on my face wasn’t all that attractive.
I couldn’t help it. I’d never been able to control my facial expressions when I was upset.
“So it does.”
I shook my head, and he pursed his lips at me in disbelief.
“Bobby and Tara are dating,” I finally replied.
“The big one, right?” Jesse acknowledged.
I nodded.
“You’re in love with the other one anyways, so…?”
“I told you, I don’t think he’s in love with me!” I said before putting my head in my hands in shame. “Sorry, Jesse. It’s just a bad topic right now.”
I closed my eyes ad pressed my hands against the desk, and when I opened them Jesse leaned forward to place his hands over mine.
He never touched anyone, and I was usually very fond of my personal space, but instead of pulling away I looked up and waited for his explanation.
I need some sort of explanation for Adam’s actions.
“Listen, River, guys are weird creatures. You’ve known Adam your whole life, right?” he asked, and I nodded. “Things change in a moment’s time, and we can’t control it. If he’s been in denial as long as you’ve been head over heels for him, this is not going to be easy for him. He’s a player—when you already are one, it’s hard to think you can stop being one even for that perfect person.”
I looked down at his wedding band. “You speak from experience?”
He stood, winking at me. “You know it!”
“Jesse?” I asked as I turned in my chair, facing him as he stood at the door.
He nodded, and I asked, “Should I trust him?”
Jesse smiled down at me, light eyes shining against the dark suit he was wearing. “I think you already know the answer to that question.”
“Then why hasn’t he spoken to me since…”
“He’s still stuck on the fact that it even happened,” Jesse answered.
“So am I,” I said to myself.
“He’ll come around,” Jesse assured me as he turned out and walked away.
“Don’t forget bold colors and black and whites!” he called over his shoulder.
Chapter 25
Three more days and there was still no sign of Adam. I was frustrated, hurt and annoyed. I’d been blown off by guys before, but they had never really mattered. Adam did though, and now I feared Tara had been right when she had originally said it could ruin our friendship.
Flawed Perfection Page 10
