Taking Sides (Locked Out)

by Patrick Jones

  Todd handed the driver his remaining cash. As the taxi left, Todd knocked on the door of the house. He stared at the old Buick in the driveway. The door opened.

  “Todd,” his grandmother Pearl said. That was it, just his name. No surprise, no warmth, but no anger either. “Come in.” She didn’t hug or kiss him. There was no gushing about how he’d grown or anything else Todd might’ve assumed she’d say. Todd felt like a stranger in this house, just like he had at Sorensen’s and Parker’s places. Todd wanted to ask why they hadn’t gotten in touch with him. But as he looked around the small living room and saw no photos of his father, he understood. They were on the other side. They were standing with Tina, against his dad, against their own flesh and blood.

  “Is Tina here?” Todd asked.

  His grandmother nodded. “I’ll get her. Wait here for a minute.” She motioned for him to take a seat in the small living room. When she left the room, Todd looked again at the photos all around him. There were school pictures of him and Tina taken throughout their childhood, but none of their parents. As if his grandparents had expected them to become orphans.

  “Hi, Todd,” Tina said from the end of the hallway. She kept her distance. Behind her, Grandpa Jim emerged, looking a lot older than the last time Todd saw him.

  “We need to talk,” Todd said to Tina.

  “We’ve already talked,” replied Tina. “And I told you. I’m not lying for Dad. Or for you.”

  “It was self-defense. You saw it!”

  “You don’t really believe that’s what happened, do you, Todd?” Grandpa Jim asked quietly.

  Todd stood up. “You weren’t there! How would you know? How would—”

  “I know my son,” Jim said. “He uses people. Always has. And when they won’t follow along with him anymore, he destroys them.” Pearl nodded in agreement.

  “He asked you not to call the police, remember?” Tina said. “And you agreed. You always said ‘Yes, sir’ and did what he wanted. Now he wants you lie for him, so he gets—”

  “I know what I saw,” Todd said, but as the words left his mouth, he felt doubt surface.

  “No, I think you saw what he wanted you to see,” Tina said.

  Todd shook his head with all the force he had left. “He was trying to protect us!”

  “No,” said Tina again, her voice strangely steady. It was as if she’d finally run out of tears.

  Todd was suddenly exhausted. He sank back down onto the couch. Tina came over and sat down next to him. Met his eyes. Was this the first time since that night that someone had looked him in the eye?

  “He took the knife out of the drawer, Todd,” said Tina. Quiet. Firm.

  “Mom had the knife—”

  “Mom grabbed it from him to keep it away from us, but then he grabbed it back. And he pushed her against the counter, and he hit her, like he always did, and then he stabbed her. He did it on purpose. Not in self-defense. He murdered her. He wasn’t trying to protect us. And you don’t have to protect him. You don’t owe him anything.”

  “He’s my father and I love him!” Todd shouted.

  “Fear isn’t love,” Tina whispered. “You were afraid of him. So was I, so was Mom. He’d hurt us before. He was in control of all of us—until Mom tried to break away. That’s why—”

  “No!” Todd shouted, but his voice wouldn’t hold steady.

  Tina put a hand on his arm. “That’s why he murdered our mother. You don’t need to be afraid of him anymore. I’m not. You can say what you know is true.”

  Todd shut his eyes and replayed the scene again.

  You won’t take my kids from me, his dad had said.

  The kitchen drawer opened, the knife removed and in his father’s hand.

  Todd tried to talk through his tears, but no questions came. Only answers.

  20

  Eight weeks later

  Todd stood in line at the Hennepin County Jail for the last time. Tomorrow, his dad would be sentenced and sent to state prison. Mr. Zukowski had convinced him to plead guilty to third-degree murder, which meant a sentence of at least ten years.

  Peters stood next to Todd. As Todd understood it, he was still a cog in The System. But at least he’d been allowed to stay in Iowa to live with his grandparents. They’d offered to drive him back to Minneapolis, but instead he’d taken the bus by himself again. Then he’d headed straight to the jail, deciding not to stop at Sorensen’s for his belongings. There was nothing in his old life he needed, not even the photo of him and his father.

  His new life was working out OK so far. He hadn’t made the wrestling team—Iowa had serious wrestlers—but was doing OK in track. The school was nice, his grandparents nice enough, but most important, he and Tina were mending the hurt.

  As he and Peters waited in line, Todd looked around. He recognized some of the faces, including the older man with the cane—late yet again, and being turned away, yet again. “I’m sorry this is such a mess,” Peters said. “Your father isn’t helping, with his custody request.”

  Todd nodded. “I guess he doesn’t want to lose us … ”

  Peters stared at him. “I’m sorry no one told you,” she said softly. “He’s only fighting for custody of Tina.”

  Todd felt his knees buckle, but managed to maintain his wrestling balance. “What?”

  “Your dad’s willing to surrender his parental rights to you,” Peters said. “Just not to Tina.”

  “Why would he do that?” Todd asked. His voice sounded far away, flat.

  “He’s not going to win,” Peters said. “I think he just filed the claim for your sister as a symbolic gesture.”

  “To punish me for failing him,” Todd heard himself say in that same dull voice. “For taking sides against him.”

  “You told the truth,” Peters said. “You did the right thing.”

  “I took my mother’s side,” Todd murmured, more to himself than to Peters. “My family’s side.” For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to think about his mom—who she was, how much she meant to him.

  “Todd?” Peters called out. She was still standing in line, but Todd was walking away, past the back of the line, and then out the door.

  Outside, Todd caught up with the old man with the cane. “Excuse me, sir. You want my place in line?”

  A toothless smile filled the old man’s face. “That’s nice of you, son, but don’t you have—”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Todd put his hand on the man’s back as they walked inside together. “I don’t have any family in there.”

  AFTERWORD

  As of 2014, it’s estimated that more than 2.7 million children in the United States have a parent behind bars. About one in five of those kids are teenagers. While having parents in prison presents challenges at any age, it may be particularly hard for teenagers, as they try to find their way in the world.

  The Locked Out series explores the realities of parental incarceration through the eyes of teens dealing with it. These stories are fictional, but the experiences that Patrick Jones writes about are daily life for many youths.

  The characters deal with racism, stigma, shame, sadness, confusion, and isolation—common struggles for children with parents in prison. Many teens are forced to move from their homes, schools, or communities as their families cope with their parents’ incarcerations.

  These extra challenges can affect teens with incarcerated parents in different ways. Kids often struggle in school—they are at increased risk for skipping school, feeling disconnected from classmates, and failing classes. They act out and test boundaries. And they’re prone to taking risks, like using substances or engaging in other illegal activities.

  In addition, studies have shown that youth who are involved in the juvenile justice system are far more likely than their peers to have a parent in the criminal justice system. In Minnesota, for example, boys in juvenile correctional facilities are ten times more likely than boys in public schools to have a parent currently inca
rcerated. This cycle of incarceration is likely caused by many factors. These include systemic differences in the distribution of wealth and resources, as well as bias within policies and practices.

  The Locked Out series offers a glimpse into this complex world. While the books don’t sugarcoat reality, each story offers a window of hope. The teen characters have a chance to thrive despite difficult circumstances. These books highlight the positive forces that make a difference in teens’ lives: a loving, consistent caregiver; other supportive, trustworthy adults; meaningful connections at school; and participation in sports or other community programs. Indeed, these are the factors in teens’ lives that mentoring programs around the country aim to strengthen, along with federal initiatives such as My Brother’s Keeper, launched by President Obama.

  This series serves as a reminder that just because a parent is locked up, it doesn’t mean kids need to be locked out.

  —Dr. Rebecca Shlafer

  Department of Pediatrics,

  University of Minnesota

  AUTHOR ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thanks to Dr. Rebecca J. Shlafer and members of her research team for reading and commenting on this manuscript. Thanks to South St. Paul Community Learning Center, in particular John Egelkrout, Mindy Haukedahl, Kathleen Johnson, and Lisa Seppelt, for their continued support and collaboration.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Patrick Jones is the author of more than twenty-five novels for teens. He has also written two nonfiction books about combat sports: The Main Event, on professional wrestling, and Ultimate Fighting, on mixed martial arts. He has spoken to students at more than one hundred alternative schools and has worked with incarcerated teens and adults for more than a decade. Find him on the web at www.connectingya.com and on Twitter: @PatrickJonesYA.