“What the hell are you talking about?” He channeled every one of his raging emotions into his tone.
She shook her head, touching her fingers to the place he’d just touched. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
“Hank Dalton is my father.” He said the words like a pledge.
“He loves you,” Jenny repeated, which only enraged him more.
“He’s my father.”
Her eyes went gentle. “In every way that counts.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Tell me what you think you know.”
She pressed her lips together, then reached out a hand, which he dodged. “I don’t think anything,” she said quietly. “I spoke to your mother, Owen. She confirmed my suspicions.”
“Which were?”
“Hank isn’t your biological father. He married your mother when she was pregnant with you. He raised you as his own. He loves you.”
“It’s a lie.” He turned away, unable to face the sympathy in her gaze. It couldn’t be possible. Someone would have told him. Surely his mother wouldn’t have kept this kind of news from him for his entire life. “It’s an excuse for what I just caught you doing.”
“No.” Jenny wiped at the corner of one eye. “I’m sorry, Owen. I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to—”
“What, Jenny? You didn’t mean to turn my fucking life upside down? It was an accident that you went through my private e-mails to collect information to give to your . . .” He laughed again as he turned back to her. “Shall we cut to the chase and call him your baby daddy?”
“Trent came to me last night. He made threats about Cooper and he wanted information by today. I promise I wasn’t really going to give it to him, but I need time to figure out what to do. You don’t get how messed up it is.”
“That could be the understatement of the century,” he confirmed.
“I have to protect my son. Trent’s trying to use him, Owen. It would kill you to hear him talk about Cooper like his only value is as a pawn in this stupid game.”
Owen arched a brow. “Sounds vaguely familiar.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
He was sick of hearing those words from this woman and struggled to process what she was telling him when anger clouded every breath he took.
“You could have come to me. I would have helped you, Jenny. I would have done anything . . .”
Another bright flame of pain flared in her eyes. “I wanted to handle it myself. I need to be able to manage things on my own.”
“But you aren’t alone.” He took a step closer and even now, with the bitter taste of betrayal thick in his throat, he wanted to reach for her. To comfort her. “You weren’t alone,” he amended. “I loved you, Jenny. You must have known that. Hell, I thought you came here for me.”
“I did,” she said miserably. “That’s how it started. But I sat there and thought I don’t want to be a burden to you. What we had in West Virginia can’t survive. This proves it. You don’t trust me, and I will destroy both of us, even if I love y—”
“Don’t say it.” He dragged a hand through his hair, looked around wildly for something to make sense of this fresh hell he was once again living through her hands. His gaze caught on the small stack of papers sitting on top of the printer.
This time he welcomed the fiery anger that shot through him. It burned away the weak and tender places inside him until rage was the only thing left.
“Get out of here,” he told her. “I don’t want to see you again.”
She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. When she opened them again, her gaze was as empty as his heart felt. She stared at him a moment longer, as if she would argue, then turned for the door.
It slammed behind her and the ensuing silence almost drowned him.
He wished it would swallow him whole. Anything to put him out of his misery.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Here’s a glass of water and a cool washcloth for your eyes.” Chloe held out both items, but Jenny shook her head.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled as Chloe sat down next to her on the couch.
“It looks like your face was on the losing end of a battle with a hive of bees,” Sam said from where she stood on the edge of the family room, arms crossed over her chest. “I’ve heard of ugly criers, but you take it—”
“Not helping,” Kendall snapped. She leaned forward to pat Jenny’s arm at the same time Chloe wrapped her in a tight side hug.
Chloe had some sort of friend-in-crisis spidey sense and had called Jenny minutes after she’d left Owen’s office. At the time, Jenny had been parked on the shoulder of the highway about a half mile from Owen’s building. She’d tried to keep it together but had finally given in to the heartache swelling through her and pulled over for a good cry.
She’d almost let Chloe’s call go to voice mail, but had answered at the last minute and burst into racking sobs as soon as she’d heard her friend’s gentle voice. Chloe had talked to her until she was calm enough to drive home. By the time she pulled up her gravel driveway, Kendall and Chloe were already waiting. Sam had arrived minutes later.
“You’re going to get through this,” Chloe told her.
Kendall nodded. “Owen has forgiven you before for much worse.”
“What a horrible thought,” Jenny whispered miserably.
Sam stepped forward. “Now who’s not helping?”
“I’m trying to stay positive,” Kendall said gently. “We all know he cares about you. He’ll come around.”
“Of course he will,” Chloe agreed.
There was a significant pause in the conversation as they waited for Sam to chime in, but for once the willowy blond kept her mouth shut.
“You think I’ve screwed up beyond measure?” she asked.
Sam shook her head. “There’s always hope, Red. I know a lot about self-sabotage. You and I are two of a kind that way. And Trevor and I are proof you can make anything right. But you need to believe it can be different—that you can be different—if you really want another shot with Owen.”
“Of course it will be different,” Chloe said, pulling Jenny closer. “She loves him. Love trumps everything.”
“At the movies,” Sam acknowledged with a faint smile. “This isn’t a rom com at the matinee. It’s life. Jenny and Owen both deserve a happy ending, but that’s not always how it works in the real world. Are you ready to risk everything to win him back?”
Jenny’s throat was raw from crying, and she swallowed against the burn. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m strong enough at this point.” She extricated herself from Chloe’s embrace and stood.
Kendall rose out of her chair at the same time. “Are you going to give up?”
“I’m going upstairs to try and make myself look human again. Cooper comes home from science club in a few hours. He can’t see me like this.”
She saw both Kendall and Chloe shoot death glares at Sam.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, hugging each of her friends. “I’m grateful for each of you. It means a lot that you came running when I needed my friends.”
“We love you,” Chloe said.
“Even when you screw things up royally,” Sam added, earning an eye roll from Kendall.
“Get some rest,” Kendall told her. “This isn’t over, Jenny. I promise.”
She nodded and headed for the stairs. As much as she wanted to share Kendall’s faith in the future, right now it felt like she’d lost her one chance at happiness.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can stay if you need me.”
Dina lowered herself onto the edge of the bed the following afternoon, and Jenny instinctively pulled away. “I’m fine. Alone is what I do best.”
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Dina shake her head. “You’re not alone, Jen.”
It was the same thing Owen had told her. The memory of that agonizing confrontation made Jenny clasp a hand over her mouth as a sob
rose in her throat.
“Go away.” She pointed to the door. “Go back to your cookie-cutter Stepford-wife life with the husband who is bound to break your heart again.”
“Maybe you and John should spend some time together.” Dina’s mouth curved into a sad half smile. “Birds of a feather and all that.”
The gentle rebuke slammed into Jenny like a sledgehammer to the side of the head. “I’m sorry.”
How many times was she going to have to repeat those words before she changed her behavior and didn’t need to use them?
“I’m horrible right now.” Jenny shifted on the bed, placed a hand on Dina’s arm. “I didn’t mean that about John. I know he loves you. He seems committed to making a new start and earning another chance with his family.”
Dina and the kids had moved back to their house after her husband had agreed to marriage counseling. It had been strangely bittersweet to see them go, and she was secretly glad Dina had stopped by to pick up a few last things. The house seemed too quiet.
“But there are no guarantees,” Dina said. “I understand that I might be naive and stupid to trust him again.”
“Like Owen was stupid to trust me?”
Dina shook her head. “Like you were stupid not to trust him.”
“I couldn’t let him bail me out,” she answered. “I’m so sick of owing people.”
“That isn’t how love works,” Dina said with so much patience that Jenny wanted to punch her in the—
Nope. She was done with that expression along with believing she could make smart decisions when her heart was leading the charge.
“It wasn’t supposed to be about love with Owen.” She’d finally admitted to Dina the whole embarrassing story of her pretend engagement, beginning with that first moment on the sidewalk. “The whole thing was a big fat fake.”
“No,” Dina said, taking Jenny’s hand and squeezing. “Your feelings for him are not pretend, and neither are his for you. He loves you with every fiber of his being.”
“Not true,” Jenny protested even as her heart perked up at the thought of it. Seriously, sometimes it would be easier to just rip that stupid thing right out of her body. “At least not anymore.”
Dina sighed. “Love doesn’t just end, even when we want it to. It would be a lot easier if it did.”
“Preaching to the choir, sister.”
“You’re in pain and he’s in pain. It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“I took the e-mails,” Jenny said, glancing at her dresser. She’d folded up the sheets of paper and shoved them into her sock drawer, right next to the velvet-lined box that held the engagement ring.
“Don’t use them,” Dina told her. “Shred them . . . burn them . . . whatever. Put the ring back on your finger and go talk to Owen.”
Jenny gave a small laugh. “He won’t see me.”
“Don’t give him a choice.”
“I can’t do that. What about Trent? How can I let him have access to Cooper?”
“Your fiancé is one of the most powerful men in the country—probably the world. Don’t you think he’ll be able to figure out a way to get rid of Trent?”
Jenny snatched her hand away from Dina’s. “He’s not my real fiancé, and this isn’t The Sopranos. Owen can’t pick up the phone and arrange to have Trent whacked.”
Dina rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t talking about killing him. Although it’s not a bad idea and would give me a lot of personal satisfaction.”
“Dina.”
“There are other ways.”
“What other ways? If I could think of one, I would have.”
“That’s why you need Owen’s help.”
“It won’t work,” Jenny insisted, shaking her head. “My original plan was to ask him for help. I sat in his office waiting, looking around at everything he’d built on his own. It embarrassed me. I can’t even manage my tiny life, and he runs a multinational company and foundation, and he keeps making things happen. All I make are messes. I wanted to fix one of them on my own.”
“But you created more trouble in the process.”
Jenny had sat behind Owen’s desk for over an hour before snapping that photo. She’d read the Labyrinth Web report and knew it contained exactly the sort of details Trent’s company could have leveraged to make itself part of the project. It would have been so easy to have slipped the report into her purse and left before Owen returned. But she hadn’t intended to truly betray him. As she’d tried to explain, she needed to buy herself time to figure out how to deal with Trent’s threats.
But Owen had no reason to trust her, and she’d lost him for good.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She’d wanted to believe she could actually have a future with Owen, so she had let herself be vulnerable. Allowed herself to fall in love with him.
Then she’d ruined them both.
“You know,” Dina said slowly, “Cooper is a pretty smart kid.”
“The smartest,” Jenny agreed with a loud sniff.
“Seems to me you could tell him the truth and allow him to make his own decision about Trent.”
“No way. I won’t hurt him like that. Who knows how much Trent’s rejection has already scarred him?” Jenny pointed to herself. “Look at me. I’m a train wreck, and most of it stems back to daddy issues.”
The thought niggled at the back of her mind that a lot of her issues involved thinking her father had abandoned her before she was even born. But Jenny’s mother also hadn’t shared the whole truth. Pretty much Jenny was screwed no matter what course she took.
“Do you really think it’s better to protect Cooper’s deadbeat father, who has never shown one second of authentic interest in that amazing boy, at the price of hurting Owen?” Dina spoke slowly, as if Jenny was a recalcitrant child who needed coaxing. “Owen, who not only loves you but adores your son and has seemed more than willing to step in and become a father for Cooper. How is that a win for any of you?”
Jenny closed her eyes and tipped her head back against the headboard. “I don’t know. I’m stupid, Dina. I’m scared.” She sucked in a breath as soon as the words were out of her mouth. The realization hit fast and hard, like a bullet tearing through flesh.
She wasn’t leading with her heart. Fear was in the driver’s seat and it was steering her recklessly through hairpin turns at a hundred miles an hour.
“Oh. My. God.” She scrambled to the edge of the bed. “I’m going to be sick.”
Dina put a hand on the back of Jenny’s head and pressed it down. “Can I get you a bucket?” she asked softly.
“I need to pull my head out of my ass,” Jenny replied, gaze on the floor. Her head was throbbing, both from the blood rushing to it and the knowledge of what she’d done. “All this time I thought I was protecting Cooper by keeping myself closed off from people. I thought I had to devote myself to only him because I’d been so angry at my mom for dividing her attention between me and the Bishop kids growing up. I felt compelled to try to be both mother and father to him.”
“You’re a great mom.” Dina rubbed Jenny’s back. “I’ve seen you with Cooper, and that boy knows how much you love him.”
“I knew how much my mom loved me. It didn’t change the fact that I was seriously messed up in the head.”
“The way we treated you at school didn’t help.”
Jenny lifted her head, pressing her hands to her temples. “Now look at us.”
“We’re besties,” Dina said, and put her arm around Jenny’s shoulder. “Do you ever wish you got a do-over in high school? A chance to avoid the mistakes you made?”
“No,” Jenny answered immediately. “Because the decisions I made—even if they were colossally dumb—resulted in Cooper. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” She paused, then added, “But I’d take a do-over for the last couple of days, even though I have no idea how to make it better.”
Dina patted her leg. “You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”
“Why?” Jenny c
ouldn’t help but ask.
“Your heart is solid. You helped me realize I was worth more than John was giving me.”
“Everything you liked about my life was based on a lie.”
Dina raised a brow. “Are your feelings for Owen a lie?”
Jenny shook her head.
Just then a door slammed from downstairs. “Mom,” Cooper called, “I’m home.”
“I’ll be down in a minute,” Jenny answered, standing and walking to the mirror that hung above the dresser. She swiped under her eyes and pinched her cheeks to get a little color in them.
“You can do this,” Dina said.
Jenny turned. “You know, I never gave much stock to cheerleaders in high school, but now I see the benefit. Thank you.”
“Hurrah for you,” Dina said, waving imaginary pom-poms. “Let’s go fix your mess of a life.”
“Amen to that,” Jenny murmured.
Three days after Jenny dropped the emotional bomb about his father, Owen walked up the cobblestone path toward the front door of his childhood home, feeling as if he was watching the scene from outside his body.
Sweat rolled down his back and his limbs felt heavy, like he had cement blocks attached to his feet. He would have liked to blame the heat and humidity but knew the blistering weight he carried came from nerves. His tension had gone from a small hum at the back of his neck when he’d boarded his private plane in Denver to a full orchestra hitting an epic crescendo by the time he stepped onto the tarmac in West Virginia.
His mother opened the door, and her eyes widened in surprise before softening. “Owen. What a lovely surprise.”
She reached for him but he shrugged off her touch, ignoring the flash of pain in her gaze. “I need to talk to you and . . .” He swallowed down the emotion rising in his throat. “And Dad. Is he here?”
He heard her small intake of breath and knew everything Jenny had told him was true. Not that he’d really doubted her, but he’d hoped she’d gotten the story wrong.
The alternative was that everything he knew about his life was a lie.
Meant for You Page 23
