John had been in my father’s employ since before I was born. From the outside, he was the consummate professional, heading the royal household with poise and discretion. To me, he was like a funny uncle. He was the only member of staff that never referred to me as ma’am, and when we were children, he always had a lollypop ready for Anthony and me whenever we saw him.
He also had a mouth like a sailor and wasn’t afraid to use it behind closed doors. Not that anyone on the outside would know such a thing.
“I’m so sorry darling. Come here, take a seat.”
His office was originally decorated similar to my father’s, only much smaller. Dark wood paneling covered the walls, and four leather seats surrounded the heavy wooden desk. At the window, thick purple velvet curtains hung all the way to the floor. John had added a few touches of his own. Colorful abstract artworks filled the walls and complemented the bright cushions and flowering pot plants on his desk. I’d always felt much more at home in John’s office than my father’s study, which was regal and stuffy. On the desk, was a bowl filled with candy which John lifted up for me.
I shook my head, trying to keep the tears back.
“Is he going to be alright, John?”
John gave me a sad smile. “I don’t know, princess, but I’ve given the hospital my private number so we’ll be the first to hear any news.”
He used the term princess as a pet name rather than my title. I’d heard him call some of the staff princess too. That’s what I liked about him. He treated everyone the same unless you were from outside the palace in which case he was a gentleman of strength and loyalty to the king and a brick wall if you were a journalist.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. All the months of lessons had completely left my mind and replaced with fear.
John leaned forward in his seat and offered me a comforting hand on my arm. “Nobody expects you to do anything, so please don’t worry about that. I’m ignoring the press for now, but I’ll draft a press release as soon as we know more. For now, the official line is “no comment.” Anthony thinks it would be a good idea to get all the staff together. I’ve left him to deal with that, but I think it might be a good idea for you to be there when they congregate. You don’t have to say anything. I can do the talking, but they will want to see someone in charge. Anthony mentioned the great hall at two o’clock. You might want to change before then.”
I looked up at the clock on the wall. It was a quarter to two. It surprised me that Anthony had the forethought to do anything. All I’d managed to do since my parents left was walk around in a daze and whine to John. I took a deep breath and thought everything through. John was right. The staff needed strong leadership now, not a sappy princess in a mermaid dress.
“Thank you for all your help, John.” I stood up from the chair. “I’m going to get changed, and I’ll meet you in the hall in fifteen minutes. I think I should be the one to speak, but thank you for your offer.”
“As you wish,” He stood up too and rounded the desk. As he wrapped his arms around me, I felt the first trickle of a tear fall down my cheek.
Ten minutes later, I was dressed in casual trousers and a smart blouse. I probably should have worn something more formal, but I had no idea of the protocol in such situations. Besides, it was better than the bridesmaid dress.
The hall was packed solid as I entered from the back. It looked like Anthony had done a good job of rounding everyone up as most of the staff were there. At the back, I saw Astrid, and beside her, holding her hand, was Hayden. He gave me a small nod as I passed. Astrid must have called him as soon as she heard the news.
A hush descended as I walked through the crowd to the front of the hall. Anthony was already there as was John. John took a step back as I stepped up onto the raised platform where my parents’ thrones stood.
As I gazed out over the hundreds of people I saw every day, it occurred to me that this was my first formal speech. Without having time to prepare anything, I had to speak off the top of my head, which was still in shock at what was happening.
I held my hands behind my back in what I hoped was a suitable pose, but really I was clasping my hands together to stop them from shaking. Fear flooded through me, and my heart beat in double-time as I tried to find the right words to say to the expectant crowd.
“Thank you all for coming up here with so little notice. I’m sure some of you will already know why you are here, but for those who don’t, I want to assure you that everything is going to be alright. My father, the king, collapsed just under an hour ago and was taken to the hospital.”
I heard the collective gasp rise up through the crowd as they took in the news.
“We don’t know what happened, and we don’t have any news yet from the hospital, but I want you all to know that you will be the first to hear any updates.”
Looking out at each of them, knowing that they were looking up to me as a leader made me realize how wholly unprepared I was for this. I’d had so many lessons on how to be a good queen. I could name all the royal families of all the nine kingdoms, I knew how to address people, I knew the economic status of our own kingdom in relation to the others around us, but I didn’t know how to stand tall and lead a kingdom. I didn’t know how to make it better for these people, and the staff was only the start. There would be the press to deal with. John putting out a press release was one thing, but they would want to see someone from the palace on the television. I couldn’t let John do that. I had a whole nation looking up to me, and I didn’t know how to handle it at all. What I actually wanted was to go back to bed, or to escape it all out under the waves with Ari. I took a deep breath and continued my speech.
“You are my father’s loyal staff members. Without you, we would not be able to run this house, run the kingdom. I am asking one more thing of you today. John here is in charge of any press in relation to my father’s condition. Only he should speak to them. If any reporters try to speak to you when you leave the palace, I ask that you tell them “no comment at this time.” You can refer them to John if you wish. The last thing we need right now is the kingdom awash with rumors. I also want to thank you all for your help at this distressing time.”
I glanced toward John, and he nodded at me almost imperceptibly. I’d done it. My first-ever speech as head of the household. It made me feel sick.
As the staff shuffled out, I was left not knowing what to do with myself. I sat on my mother’s throne and watched the last of the staff leave the great hall, shepherded by Anthony and John. Anthony was turning out to be quite the help in the time of need. Soon, there were only three of us left in the hall. Hayden and Astrid ran over to me. I’d kept strong for the last hour, but as Hayden put his arms around me, I dissolved into a flood of tears. He was my rock, he always had been and feeling him strong by my side, it almost felt like everything was going to be ok. He had a knack for knowing how to cheer me up or make me feel better. We had been best friends for so long that we were in complete simpatico with each other. As the tears flowed, I felt another pair of hands join us, and the three of us ended up in a wet messy three-way hug.
“We’ve decided to postpone the wedding,” Astrid said after pulling back from me. Her eyes were glassy with tears too, although she’d barely spent any time in my father’s company.
“Not a chance!” Both Hayden and Astrid looked at me with pity in my eyes. It was nice that they cared, but I didn’t want them to change their wedding plans. I didn’t want anything to change at all.
“We discussed it,” Hayden responded. “It’s not a big deal. We can put it back a couple of months, there’s really no rush.”
“Discussed it?” I looked at the pair of them incredulously. “You only got here ten minutes ago, and I was giving my speech for most of that time. You can’t decide to put off the biggest day of your lives over this.”
A look passed between them. I didn’t like it. I could tell that whatever they were about to say was not something I would want to
hear.
Hayden took my hand. “We are due to be married in three weeks. What if the king is still ill? What if he...”
And then, I realized what it was they were really trying to tell me.
They were worried his funeral would coincide with their wedding. They thought he was going to die.
The New Queen
“What if he dies? The funeral will mess up your plans.” I could feel my chest tightening and pain biting at me. It hadn’t occurred to me before now that my father might not pull through. He was still relatively young and up until the last couple of weeks, had always been as fit as a fiddle.
“I’m sorry, Erica,” Astrid began, but I cut her off.
“He’s not going to die. He’s just has a bit of flu or something. He’ll be dancing at your wedding, just wait and see.”
I didn’t wait for a response. My heart felt like lead, and there was only one person I needed, one person that was guaranteed to lift my heart. I took off through the double doors to the balcony and raced down the outside stairs to the promenade. None of the guards tried to stop me. They’d all seen me make this journey enough times in the past few weeks.
I’d only left Ari a few hours previously, but it felt like a lifetime ago. The sun was low in the sky, casting a pink glow over the rippling water. I dashed across the rocks, pulled my clothes off and dived head first into the ocean in only my underwear. When I’d first met Ari, I’d not been able to swim, but after weeks of being in the water for hours every day, I’d become quite proficient at it.
I dived down, holding my breath as I searched the depths for Ari.
Ari, I need you. I spoke to him with my mind, the way we always communicated under water. He would only hear me if he was within a certain distance, but I kept on calling him. When my breath ran out, and it felt like my lungs would burst, I resurfaced, taking in great lungfuls of air.
“Ari!” I shouted out loud, my voice barely audible over the noise of the waves. I took another breath and swam in the direction of Havfrue, the merpeople city that my grandfather ruled over. I found it so much easier to swim under the water where it was calm and serene rather than battle the waves on the surface. Without Ari to hold my hand, I couldn’t see nearly as well as I would have liked, and the salt water stung my eyes. I also had to keep going up to the surface to breathe which slowed me down.
Havfrue always seemed so close when Ari took me there or when my grandfather picked me up and took me back to his palace, but swimming there by myself without the aid of a fishtail was wearing. My muscles began to ache with the effort of pulling through the water, and what had seemed so easy with someone by my side was now an arduous task. Still, I persevered, for what was the alternative? Looking back, I could see that I was already halfway there, so swimming in either direction would be equally tiring.
Ari, I cried out, feeling utterly wretched and beyond exhausted. What are you doing so far out by yourself? Ari took my hand, and at once, the water appeared warmer. My vision cleared and I could finally see well through the salty water.
I wish I could see better in the ocean when I’m by myself, I began then stopped. The pain in my heart had lifted slightly, thanks to Ari’s presence, but the feeling of being overwhelmed persisted. Ari held me close to him as my body shook. He didn’t need to ask me anything else to know I was upset. It was pretty obvious. He began to swim with me still wrapped in his arms. I closed my eyes as the warm water cascaded over me, and let him take me wherever he wanted to go. I didn’t care. I only cared that I was with him, the location was irrelevant. As it was, when I opened my eyes I found us in the cave of lights. Dark most of the time, it lit up like the water was filled with fairy lights every time anyone swished it around, thanks to the phosphorescence. Ari and I came here often. Occasionally we’d go to his little room in Havfrue, but there was no privacy there as there was no glass in any of the windows and therefore no blinds or curtains. People constantly swam past his room making it feel like we were on display in a goldfish bowl. All the Havfrue people lived the same way, and it didn’t bother Ari in the slightest. But I much preferred it here where I could kiss him without worrying about anyone catching us.
As Ari had pointed out, it was hardly a secret that we kissed, but that didn’t mean I wanted half the town watching us. I much preferred it here where I could breathe, thanks to the small holes in the ceiling that in the daytime let in light and let in clean air all of the time. I lay back on the beach and let the beads of water drip off into the pale sand. Ari pulled himself up beside me, and I rested my head on his chest
“What is it? What happened?”
Since the sea witch died, Ari was able to talk to me on land. It was only his tail that was still affected by her magic, so he kept it in the water, swishing it every now and again to fill the cave with light.
“My father fell ill. He’s in the hospital. Everyone is looking up to me as though I know what to do, and I don’t know what to do at all. My mother is with him, so everyone is looking to me to lead them.”
My breathing was so rapid that I feared I might begin to hyperventilate. Ari took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly, calming me a little.
“How is he? What happened to him?”
I looked into his eyes, emerald in the low light, and told him what had happened leaving nothing out except the thoughts of Hayden and Astrid. I couldn’t bear to tell him that my father might die. Even saying it out loud made it feel like a possibility, a possibility I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.
After I’d finished speaking, I lay back on the sand, his arm under my head. He shifted slightly, turning on his side so he could still look at me as he spoke. He rested his free hand on my belly where I grabbed it and held on like it was an anchor, afraid if I let go he’d somehow disappear.
“Stay here with me tonight. I’ll keep you warm.” He spoke so softly, and yet, I could still hear the slight reverberation of his voice around the cave.
I was still shivering, but it wasn’t from the cold, I never felt the cold when I was with him. I was shivering out of fear, out of sadness.
“I can’t. I need to be at the palace when my mother calls. I probably shouldn’t have come out here, but I needed you.”
He pulled me toward him, smothering me in a hug so tight it almost pulled my breaking heart back together.
“If you must go back, I’ll take you, but I’m coming too,” he replied calmly. “There is no way I’m leaving you alone tonight.”
I shook my head sadly. “You know you can’t do that.” I wanted him to. Oh, how I wanted him to spend the night with me, but we both knew that going on land caused him such agony akin to walking on knives. I couldn’t let him do that for me. “Your pain isn’t a swap for my pain.”
Ari pulled me up so that I was sitting facing him. His tail was still in the water, but I’d pulled my legs up so that just the edge tickled my toes.
“I’m not swapping anything. I hate that we can’t be together all the time. Most days, I try not to think about it and enjoy the limited time I have with you. But I can’t do that knowing that you need me. I can’t change the way things are, but there is no way I’m going to swim around here knowing that you are suffering by yourself in the palace.”
“I won’t be alone,” I shrugged. “Anthony is there. John is there. I have people around me.”
“People that will kiss away your tears?” he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. When he pulled back, his lips were wet. I’d not even noticed I’d been crying. He moved forward again and kissed the other side before kissing me on the lips. I don’t know if the salty taste of his lips upon mine was from the sea water or from my own tears.
“I’m coming,” he insisted.
I closed my eyes and nodded my head. Whatever happened, it would be easier to handle with Ari by my side. He pulled me into the water, and we swam side by side to the shore.
When we surfaced, the sun had gone down entirely, and the only light was coming through the windows of
the palace. Not even the moon was shining tonight, and it was too cloudy to see the stars. The clothes I’d left behind were way too small for him, so when his tail dried and turned into legs, he had to hobble across the rocks naked. I thought because of the lack of light we might manage to make into the palace unseen, but I’d not factored in my father’s illness. There were a hundred or more photographers at the gate that separated the public promenade from our private one, and every single one of them got a shot of us running into the palace, me soaking wet and Ari with not a stitch of clothes on. What a way to end my day in charge of the whole kingdom.
The palace seemed to be running as it always did. The guards stood sentry, the maids cleaned. A member of staff handed us both a towel. I wrapped mine around my hair; Ari wrapped his around his waist.
“Has my mother phoned?” I asked the young servant I recognized as being one of the office staff under John.
He bowed. “Not yet, ma’am. Do you require a guest suite to be made up?”
He looked Ari up and down as he spoke. I glanced over too, wondering how it might look to everyone. He was a striking man, well over six feet with straight black hair that fell almost to his waist. His chest and arms were pure muscle, but below the line of the towel, his legs were a mess. They looked so much worse than they had the last time I saw them.
Blue Water (A Little Mermaid Reverse Fairytale Book 2) Page 2
