by E. L. Todd
The surprise slowly left her face as she looked at me, understanding I was really there.
Without asking first, I walked inside and shut the door behind me. I didn’t want to have this conversation in the doorway.
She backed up, giving me room to stand in her small entryway.
That’s when I noticed the shirt underneath her kitchen table. It was gray and too many sizes too big. It was an odd place to put her clothes since she was usually neat all the time.
Then I realized it was my shirt.
She was wearing it when I came to the door. When she realized it was me, she quickly changed and tried to hide it so I wouldn’t notice.
But I did notice.
And that gave me some hope.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I was hoping we could talk…if you have time.” The last time I saw her, I insulted her before I stormed off. I was too angry to see reason. But now, I was unusually calm, wanting to make sure I didn’t scare her away.
“Uh, sure.” She crossed her arms over her chest, protecting her heart from my grasp.
“I think I know how this conversation is going to end. I want you to know that I’m prepared to walk out that door and never bother you again. I’m prepared to let you go—for good. But I want to say this first.”
Her eyes never left my face. “Okay.”
“I’ve been miserable without you. Even when I’m mad, I’m miserable. Being angry is an easier emotion for me to handle than sadness, and it allows me to push you away…but only for so long. Then I miss you even more than I did before.”
Her eyes coated with moisture, but it was only a thin layer. I wasn’t even sure if I really saw it.
“Derek told me you’re quitting your job and leaving…probably to get away from me. It makes sense. If we keep seeing each other, neither one of us is going to move on. I know I can’t.”
She didn’t nod but I knew she agreed with me.
“This isn’t easy for me to say… I’ve never told anyone this before. I’m not even sure why it haunts me so much. Maybe because I was so genuine and honest…and then I was backstabbed. I don’t know. But maybe it’ll mean something to you. Maybe it’ll piece everything together.”
She came closer to me so she could listen to every word.
“I was in a relationship a few years ago. She was a nice girl. Beautiful, smart, and funny. We met at a bar downtown, and we just clicked. At that time, I wasn’t the kind of guy who slept around. I usually had short-term relationships with women before they died out. But I’d always been looking for the right person to spend my life with. When I met her, I thought I found the right woman. We were together for about a year and everything was great. She met my parents, and they loved her. And I loved her…” Thinking about this was bringing back painful memories. I didn’t want to think about it anymore, but I had to keep moving forward. Taylor needed to know. Perhaps everything would make sense. “I decided to ask her to marry me. I didn’t need to be with her any longer to know she was the one. I bought the ring, told my parents, and then called up the guys. Everyone was really excited.”
Taylor didn’t blink as she stared at me, hanging on to every word. Her arms tightened over her chest like she didn’t want to hear what came next.
“I told the guys to meet me at a bar I was near. I walked inside to get a table while I waited for them and that’s when…” I still remembered that moment with detailed clarity. I remember the song that came over the speakers, the guys at the nearby table laughing at their friend when he fell out of his chair. I remembered the baseball game on the TV in the corner. The Yankees were playing the Dodgers, and they were up by four. I wore a gray t-shirt with dark blue jeans. The ring sat heavy in my pocket, in the black box it came in. “Her arms were wrapped around his neck and they were kissing. And not just kissing, but kissing hard. They made out for nearly a minute before I stopped staring. The guy she was with was her ex. They broke up shortly before she and I got together. I watched them together and felt like an idiot. I just spent ten thousand dollars on a woman who didn’t give a damn about me.”
Taylor’s eyes watered and she didn’t keep the emotions back. They came pouring out, cascading down her cheeks. Her chest heaved from her uneven breaths. “What did you do?”
“I wanted to walk over there and tell her off. I wanted to punch the guy in the face. I wanted to rip that bar apart. But then I realized none of it mattered. If she was hooking up with her ex, then she didn’t care about me. What would yelling at her accomplish? Why should I let her know how much she hurt me? It seemed pointless at the time. So I walked out.”
“And that’s it?” she whispered.
“I met her the next day and told her we were over. She kept asking why, and I told her I didn’t really have a reason, I just didn’t want her anymore. She cried and begged me to stay. I had to stop myself from laughing. I realized not telling her the truth was a much worse punishment than being honest with her. She was never honest with me, so I didn’t owe her anything.”
Taylor still breathed hard, feeling all the pain running through my body. She felt exactly what I felt, carrying the burden with me.
“I tell you this because…when I saw you with that guy in your classroom, everything came rushing back. I felt everything I felt that night but a million times worse. Somehow, I love you more than I ever loved her and seeing you betray me just…made me snap. I hadn’t been in a relationship in a long time because I didn’t trust anyone. Then I trusted you and it bit me in the ass. I know it’s not an excuse. I know it doesn’t justify what I did. But I hope it explains everything a little better. I hope it makes you understand that you weren’t the problem. The issue was with me. It had nothing to do with not trusting you.” I bowed my head when I finished speaking. I said everything I needed to say, and I just hoped it was enough. That was my most painful secret, and I didn’t tell anyone about it because I didn’t want their sympathy. And I didn’t want to be judged for being so goddamn blind. Who knew how long they were fooling around until I caught them? I immediately got a test done to make sure I didn’t have an STD. Thankfully, I didn’t.
“Volt, I’m so sorry…” She moved into my chest and pressed her cheek against me. Her arms wrapped around me and held me tightly. She hadn’t been this close to me in weeks, and it immediately felt nice.
I wasn’t offended by her pity, and I took advantage of the situation. My arms wrapped around her petite frame, and I held her tightly, feeling the pain course through my body at being reunited with her. I thought the connection would feel good, but it actually felt painful. It was like liquid nitrogen. It was so cold it was actually hot.
“She’s an idiot, Volt. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
It didn’t bother me anymore now that Taylor was in my arms. I wanted to take her into the bedroom and hold her all night long. I wanted to cherish this feeling forever and never let it slip away. If she slept with another guy, I’d be devastated, but I would let it go—because she was worth it.
She peered up at me, her eyes still full of tears. “I would never do that to you.”
“I know.” I always knew that even if I didn’t show it. “I’m sorry I let my insecurities get the best of me.”
“It’s okay.” She pressed her forehead to mine, just the way she used to.
Fuck, I missed this.
“I understand. I can’t even imagine going through something like that…”
“It killed me.” I didn’t sugarcoat it. “I didn’t think I’d ever get over it…until you walked into my life.”
She looked into my eyes, love throbbing deep in her irises.
“You made me believe in love again. You made me believe in trust again. I guess that’s why I snapped even harder—because it was so unexpected.”
“I’m glad you told me,” she whispered. “I wish you told me that sooner.”
Did that mean we were okay?
Did I fix this?
Was she mine aga
in?
“I do too. I guess I was embarrassed you would think less of me.”
“Why would I ever think less of you?”
“Because…I should have known. I should have figured it out before I bought the ring.”
“That doesn’t mean you were stupid, Volt. That just means you had a good heart, and she took advantage of that. All this looks terrible on her, not you.” She ran her fingers through my hair and played with the strands just like she used to. “I could never think less of you.”
My hands tightened around her waist as the ecstasy hit me hard. This was really happening. She was in my arms again, and I could breathe once more. Everything was okay. I was okay.
“There’s something I have to ask…but I don’t want to ask it.”
Just as quickly, all the feeling drained out of my body. I felt numb all over again. I had no idea what she was going to ask, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.
“How many women did you sleep with?”
How many?
So she assumed I slept with more than one.
That hurt.
“Baby, I didn’t sleep with anyone.” I held her gaze as I said it so she knew I was being truthful. I’d never lied to her before, and I wouldn’t start now. “I know I was angry and said a lot of mean things, but I never hooked up with anyone.”
“Even that first week?”
I shook my head. “There’s never been anyone but you. I promise.”
Her eyes softened again and she came back to me. Her arms tightened around my neck as she pulled me closer.
I wanted to know if she’d been with anyone else, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask. If her answer was yes, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. It would break my heart more than Sara ever did. It was better not knowing. If I didn’t know, I could just not think about it. That solved my problem.
Taylor could read my mind just the way she used to. She looked into my eyes and saw the unspoken question. She answered it for me. “No.” Her hand moved down my chest to the area over my heart. “When you saw me in the bar, I was telling him I wasn’t interested. All I’ve been doing is sitting around my apartment and missing you. There’s never been anyone else.”
That answer was music to my ears. When I woke up that morning, I was hollow and alone. I felt like an old tree that had lost most of its leaves and bark. There was no hope in me, no desire for a better tomorrow. I returned a year into the past, bitter and hateful.
But now I was myself again.
I was with the woman I loved more than anything in this world. I worshipped the ground she walked on and wanted her for all my life. Losing her was the most painful experience of my life. And getting her back was the greatest one. “I love you.” My lips moved to her forehead, and I placed a kiss there.
She took a sharp intake of breath, wincing at the contact of my lips. “I love you too.”
I grabbed her t-shirt and quickly pulled it off, wanting to get this foreign and meaningless item of clothing out from between us. She allowed me to pull it off even though she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Her tits were bare but I didn’t look. I pulled off my shirt and placed it over her body, covering her with the right piece of clothing. My old shirt still lay under the kitchen table, but it probably didn’t smell like me anymore. “You needed an upgrade.”
Instead of looking embarrassed that she’d been caught, she felt the fabric in her hands. “Thank you.”
Seeing her wear my clothes was instantly a turn-on. It was the most possessive way to claim her, to see my baggy clothes cover her down to her thighs. I wanted to be inside her, to feel our bodies move together, and not just because she was wearing my shirt.
I missed her.
When we made love, it brought me to a different plane of existence. Our minds intertwined together, and our hearts beat as one. There was no past and no future. There was just us—and that moment.
My hands guided her down the hallway, my face still pressed close to hers. I didn’t kiss her even though I wanted to. I was saving it until the right moment, when she was on her back and her legs were wrapped around my hips. I was waiting until I conquered her, until I claimed her as mine again.
I got her on the bed and moved on top of her, our clothes still on. Her hair sprawled across the pillow and her eyes lit up in desperate desire. She wanted me as much as I wanted her, and my cock hardened at the thought. This woman was special to me in a way I could never explain. She was my best friend, and she was the sexiest woman I’d ever laid eyes on—even when she wore her flamingo earrings. I was a man very much in love—and I didn’t care if that made me a pussy.
I got her clothes off until she was stripped down to her naked skin. My clothes were kicked off immediately afterward, and I wrapped her legs around my waist. Her hips were tilted slightly, and I could feel my cock rub against her slick pussy.
I leaned over her and gave her a soft kiss on the mouth, feeling the energy coil down my spine. It spread throughout my entire body, giving me a surge that nearly crippled me. It wasn’t just the physical attraction that I had for her. It was so much more than that, even though I couldn’t explain exactly what that was.
Her kiss started out soft, but quickly electrified into something harder. Her small tongue entered my mouth and found mine. Together, they danced, lightly touching each other until our lips brushed past one another. She breathed hard into my mouth, my name sitting on the tip of her tongue.
I got lost in our kiss, no longer thinking about the heartbreak I’d endured for the past few weeks. Losing her once made me realize I could never lose her again. My life would turn out quite differently, and for the worst. I would have died alone while she married some other guy and started a family. My life would be a sad story of heartbreak.
Thankfully, that didn’t happen.
I would never lose her again. I would hold on to her tightly and never let go. I would make her happy for the rest of my life just as she made me happy, and together, we would have something incredible.
And that started now.
Chapter Four
Taylor
When I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t sure if I was really awake. It must have been a dream because Volt was right beside me, gloriously naked. His defined abs made riverbeds in his body, and he looked like someone took a knife and carved him from stone. His chest rose and fell steadily, his mind still deep in his dreams.
No, this was real.
I snuggled closer into him and wrapped my arm around his waist. He kept the chill away with his natural heat, acting as a personal heater that only I could use. The weather outside was heavy with snow, but it felt like summer inside the bedroom.
He must have felt me stir because his eyes slowly opened. He looked at the ceiling before reality came back to him and he understood exactly where he was. His hand slowly moved to mine on his stomach and he rested it there. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I breathed into his neck, loving his naturally masculine scent. It was better than his old t-shirts because the scent faded away on those. But with his body, it never faded away.
He rolled over and moved on top of me, his sleepy eyes telling me exactly what he wanted. He separated my legs with his arms and immediately pressed his head to my entrance. With a gentle thrust, he was inside me.
We’d hardly spoken a word to each other but we were back at it. Last night, we made love so many times I wasn’t sure if my body could operate at full capacity the next day.
But it could.
He thrust into me gently, pushing through my slickness with his swollen cock. He stretched me like he always did, and it felt incredible. His was the largest size I’d ever taken. I was hesitant at first, but now I could never go back. My body loved every inch of his thickness.
His eyes locked to mine and the sleepiness slowly faded away. Desire replaced it, taking over until it had complete authority. He groaned as he felt the moisture between my legs pool for him. My body naturally obeyed his co
mmand, and my slickness grew thicker and wetter.
He groaned again, feeling the change as he slid in and out of me. Sweat collected on his back and his ass contracted as he rammed into me against the headboard.
My nails trailed down his back, feeling the muscle coil and shift. I felt power radiating underneath his skin. He was a behemoth of a stranger, a beast only I could tame.
“Baby…”
I felt the explosion deep inside me. It started as a slow burn, an impending fire that was just seconds from reaching me. Flames licked my limbs before they intensified into a deep inferno. Then Volt took me into the forest fire, making me burn from the inside out. I didn’t realize I was screaming because the sounds fell on deaf ears. All I could hear was the crackle of the flames as they danced.
My body felt so tender down below. As his cock slid in and out of me, it felt even better. My body was always down for multiples when it came to Volt. But I wanted him to be satisfied instead of prolonging his release until he was no longer able to control it.
“I want you to come inside me.” I missed it. I missed feeling his essence sitting inside me with its weight. I missed the burn in his eyes as he deposited his seed. It was something I never found sexy before, but with him, I loved it. “Volt.” I knew hearing his name was one of his triggers.
He released a quiet moan in the back of his throat as he rammed into me harder, prepared to give me everything he had.
I widened my legs and gave him ample room to shove himself inside me. I grabbed his ass and pulled him deeper into me, waiting for the grand finale.
His eyes locked to mine as he slid his entire length inside. He held his breath as the collision hit him right in his center. A moan he’d been suppressing burst from his lips as he emptied himself, giving me as much as my body could handle. “Fuck.” He pressed his face into my neck as he caught his breath, still finishing.
My nails dug hard into him, turned on by the action alone. I realized it was one of my fetishes, something I loved even though other people may think it’s strange. I’d never let another guy come inside me before so I’d never experienced it.
