“And you know I don’t want to be away from you,” he said softly. He was smiling uncertainly, like he didn’t believe what I was saying.
“Then let’s not be apart,” I whispered and he slowly reached up and brushed my hair back. As his fingers grazed over my neck, goosebumps followed and my entire body filled with warmth.
“Let’s not be apart,” he repeated softly in his low, husky voice and then we leaned in towards each other. He paused just inches from my lips. “I really do love you, Riley.”
“I know. I love you too,” I said quietly and then I closed my eyes and our lips met. He gently wrapped his arms around me and he kissed me until I thought my head was spinning.
“Are you okay?” he whispered breathlessly when we’d finally pulled away from each other.
I nodded, but I felt myself becoming teary again.
“Then why are you about to cry?” he asked, gently caressing my cheek.
“I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared of this feeling,” I said as I thought to myself how Alex had said he loved me too. I couldn’t believe I was comparing the two. They were nothing alike and I knew that, but part of me, the part Alex had stolen from me, was doubtful of ever trusting again. I couldn’t tell Jesse what I was thinking, but I didn’t need to. He already knew.
“I’m not Alex,” he said, tilting my chin up until our eyes met. He was looking at me seriously and he never wavered. “I promise you, I will never treat you the way he treated you,” he said firmly. “I swear that to you, Riley. I will never hurt you the way he hurt you.” He reached up and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I’m not saying I’m perfect or that we’re perfect or that this will even work, but I know how I feel about you and I want to make you happy as long as you’ll let me.”
I looked up into those gray eyes and I knew he meant every word. I knew he would never hurt me like Alex because he was so different than Alex. He’d loved me even when I was giving him nothing in return.
I carefully took his hand and linked my fingers with his. We both stared down as if they’d been made for each other, like two pieces of a puzzle. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the top of it sweetly. Then he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his warm chest.
We leaned into the back of the couch and I rested my head on his chest. He reached up and stroked my hair and I could hear his heart beating and then he breathed in deeply.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hold you like this,” he whispered softly into my ear.
“I’m sorry it took so long,” I whispered back and then he kissed the top of my head. We sat silently just listening to the sounds of each other and the soft country song playing in the background. It was a song I didn’t know, but I knew it was one I’d never forget.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jesse and I pulled into the parking lot of Carver High. He’d come over and picked me up in his rumbling Wagoneer for my first day back. Because that’s what boyfriends do, I thought to myself with a smile. We hadn’t made anything official, but it really didn’t need to be said. It was just implied.
He pulled into a stall and turned off the engine. The silence was almost deafening after listening to the roar of the Jeep for the past fifteen minutes and when we stopped, I found myself staring at the old brick building with a mix of terror and excitement. I took in a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. I felt Jesse’s calming touch on my leg and I looked over to him. His brow was furrowed in concern, but he was also smiling supportively.
“Are you gonna be okay?” he asked.
I mulled the question over and over in my head. Would I be okay? Today was not going to be easy. Facing Alex and Adrienne was not going to be easy. Hearing the venomous words I was certain awaited me was not going to be easy, but the answer to his question was, of course, I would be okay. I might not be totally okay right now and I might not totally be okay in a month or even a year, but I would be okay eventually and everyday it would get better. It was already getting better. My mom and I were okay. My dad and I were okay. Heck, even Robin and I were okay. And best of all, Jesse was beside me and he’d already shown me a million times over what lengths he would go to make sure I was okay.
“Yes. I think I’ll be okay,” I said nervously, trying to muster up all my inner strength to get through the day.
“Everything will be fine,” he said reassuringly and I wanted so badly to believe him because I knew he was right. Then he gently touched my chin and turned my face towards his. I closed my eyes and our lips met and for that moment everything was alright.
We pulled back slowly and I found myself breathless again, but not from nerves this time.
After regaining my composure, I scooped up my backpack and got out. I met Jesse in front of the Jeep and then my eyes focused on a small group that was heading our way. Even from the distance, they were unmistakable. Mandy’s curly hair bobbed as she walked from the usual giddiness in her step. Laura seemed as serious and business like as usual, but she was smiling at us. Brandon strode next to them, cocky as always with a mischievous look on his face, as if he were planning the next way he would annoy the girls. And then there was Holly. She ran her hands through her light brown bob, pushing the wispy bangs out of her eyes, revealing the same face I’d encountered on my first day. Hers had been the first friendly face I’d met and it only seemed appropriate that she would be here with me today as I started over.
“Riley!” Mandy’s voice exploded as they drew closer and she ran over mobbing me in a giant hug.
“Hey,” I said as she squeezed.
“I thought you’d totally left forever.”
“Well, I’m back,” I said and I looked knowingly over to Jesse.
“I can’t believe he actually convinced you to come back,” Laura chimed in.
“It may have taken a while, but he was pretty hard to resist.”
Jesse and I smiled at each other and then I noticed they were all staring at us curiously as if they were trying to figure out a mystery and then Brandon started laughing.
“So that’s why you came back,” he grinned.
Jesse and I smiled at each other and I felt myself blush as it clicked with our friends that things were different with us now. Jesse and I weren’t just friends anymore. We were more than that and always had been, it’d just taken us...well me, a little while to figure that out.
“Well, it’s not the only reason,” I said, shrugging my shoulders innocently. “But, it made my decision a little easier.”
“What? You and Jesse?” Mandy seemed to shriek as the light bulb finally went off in her head. She was so dense it was comical.
“Seriously, Mandy? You’re surprised?” Laura asked in her usual voice when dealing with Mandy, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Well, kinda. I guess,” she said, seeming confused on whether she should actually be surprised or not. No one else seemed to be, but Mandy, as much as I loved her, was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
“I say it’s about time,” Holly piped in. “I was wondering when you’d wake up, Riley. Jesse has only been in love with you since your first day here.”
My gaze turned to him and he was smiling shyly, but then he shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “Guilty,” and I reached over and took his hand in mine, in our first open display of affection. I thought it would be awkward in front of our friends, but it didn’t feel that way at all. It seemed natural and they seemed to all feel that way too.
“This is how it should be, not the way it was,” Laura added and smiled warmly at us.
“And to think you almost missed that train, Riley,” Brandon laughed and then I gently squeezed Jesse’s hand before he put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.
I looked at my friends and knew at that moment I had definitely made the right choice in coming back. It didn’t matter that out of the corner of my eye I c
ould see the familiar black Altima. That part of my life was over and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little nervous about what would happen when I saw Alex for the first time. I knew I didn’t care what he said to me though because I had so much more in my life…my family, my friends and Jesse and that was all that mattered.
The parking lot started to fill. I’d been so focused on reuniting with my friends, I’d hardly noticed. But as engines turned off and doors slammed, I looked around and I did see a few heads turn and look at our group. I didn’t blame them though. The last time they’d seen me, I’d been running from a hallway brawl after being humiliated by one of the most popular guys in school. I wondered for a second what they were thinking, but then I pushed that from my mind. It didn’t matter what they were thinking.
The onlookers turned away quickly. I was obviously not as interesting to them as I thought I was. I was not the center of the universe as I’d once considered myself to be. But, then I saw a familiar face. David and Stephanie were climbing out of his old pick-up. He smiled supportively over to me and waved. I waved back and hoped now that I was back for good, I’d get to know my cousin better. My life had been moving non-stop since I first moved to Carver. Between my relationship with Alex, the daily drama with Adrienne and my mom, my hidden feelings for Jesse and spending time with my friends, I hadn’t put any effort into getting to know David. Now that I was back, I could and I would.
“Well, no matter the reason, it’s good to have you home,” Brandon said, interrupting my reverie. When I looked up at him, I realized it was probably the most genuine I’d ever seen him. He wasn’t being goofy or sarcastic or stupid. He really meant it.
“Thanks, Brandon,” I said and he smiled at me.
Then I noticed Mandy looking at me nervously.
“Are you going to be okay, Riley? I mean, with everything that happened and all, you’ve gotta be…”
Laura elbowed her and rolled her eyes, but it did the trick and Mandy shut up.
“I’ll be fine,” I said with certainty and Jesse gave my shoulder a supportive squeeze.
“You wanna head inside then?” Holly asked and I nodded, taking my first step towards the school.
“You know Mr. Barry’s dying to see you. I think he was heartbroken at your sudden departure,” Jesse laughed as we walked.
“Maybe he’ll give me extra credit if I tell him all about the Freedom Trail. Perhaps we could do another killer presentation,” I joked and Jesse hugged me again.
The brick building drew closer and I felt my heartbeat quicken, but then Jesse reached down and took my hand and I felt myself calm. A moment later we were standing in front of the old maroon doors, which for some reason didn’t look so old anymore. He squeezed my hand and then reached down and opened the door. I took a deep breath and walked inside.
A Note From the Author
Thank you so much for reading Last Train Home. I hope you enjoyed it. If not, thanks for giving it a shot.
This story was born a few years back, while visiting my relatives in Kansas. I was riding around my cousin’s property in the back of a mule (Just like Riley, I had no clue what a mule was…I thought it was an animal!), listening to the song Last Train Home by Ryan Star (An amazing song by an amazing musician!) and the story started writing itself in my head. I have a great affinity for Kansas, although I have to admit, I sometimes shared Riley’s opinions of it when visiting my family there as a kid. As an adult though, I appreciate it for all of its wonderful qualities. I hope I haven’t offended anyone with Riley’s attitude at the beginning of the story.
If you enjoyed this book, check out my two other books, After the Sky Fell Down and Here With Me, both available on Amazon. I can be reached at [email protected].
Thanks again for reading!
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