‘Where’s Weipa?’ she asked. No histrionics.
‘About as far north as you can go without falling off Australia,’ Ben said. ‘It’s a mining town, full of blokes earning money. So he’s earning money for the baby, Kathy?’
‘I… Yes.’
‘You’d buy a fair few bootees with what he’s earning up there,’ Ben said reflectively. ‘So when’s he coming down?’
‘After Christmas.’ She choked on another sob. ‘It’s all wrong. We were going to be married last time Mike had leave, only we hadn’t given enough notice, and there were hassles with my passport. So we’ve applied now. On the twenty-ninth of December there’s a celebrant marrying some famous couple here at the resort. I asked him if he’d do us, too, and he said yes.’
‘That’s great,’ Ben said. ‘A wedding. But let’s get this baby sorted first.’
Tears were still slipping down the girl’s face, but Ben’s matter-of-factness was taking effect. Jess handed her a wad of tissues and she blew her nose. More normality.
‘So your baby’s due when?’ Jess prodded.
‘On the fifth of January,’ she said, a bit shamefaced. ‘I sort of…lied. First babies are always late, my mam always said. It’s okay. We’ll be back on the mainland by then.’
‘Does your mam know you’re pregnant?’
‘No.’
‘Does anyone from your family?’
Deep breath. They could almost see her struggling with hysteria. Jess popped a plate of chocolate biscuits in front of her and hysteria was put aside.
‘I…I wanted to be married before I tell them,’ she managed. ‘And we will be. Mike…Mike is Australian. He had a holiday in Dublin last Christmas. I thought he was gorgeous. He said I should come here and I did, and he was still gorgeous, and he loves me and wants to marry me. Only he had to go back to Weipa. He said if he can see out his contract then we’ll have enough for the deposit for a house. And if I could work, too, we’d be set for life. Only there aren’t any jobs I can do in Weipa and he says it’s no place for me when I’m pregnant anyway so I got a job here. He gets triple time rates over Christmas so we thought… Christmas apart, this last time, would be worth it. Only now it really is Christmas and I… It’s just… I don’t want to be by myself.’
Ben spooned sugar into Kathy’s mug and pressed it into her hands. ‘Does Mike know how close the baby is?’ He relaxed back into his chair. Man in dinner suit, crimson bow-tie, body to die for, sipping tea in the middle of the night and casually discussing Kathy’s life plans. While Jess watched in something akin to awe. She’d tried to get Kathy to talk. Ben could just do it.
‘I sort of didn’t… I mean… I wasn’t sure myself. I had it figured for February. Only then… I’ve been getting really tired so the last time I had a few days off I went over to the mainland and saw a doctor.’
‘So you have seen a doctor?’
‘Once,’ she said. Shamefaced. ‘She asked me all sorts of questions. She told me she thought the dates I’d figured out for myself were wrong. A month wrong. But she said…early January. That’s still okay.’
‘Did you have an ultrasound?’
‘No,’ she said, sounding scared. ‘She wanted me to but I had to get back. I was on duty that night. I thought… I thought…’
She didn’t tell them what she thought. She was a terrified kid, Jess thought. When she’d had Dusty she’d at least had her mum. Kathy was totally alone.
‘I can do this,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry. When Frazer said I had to leave I got upset, but it was just for a moment. I know all the flights from Weipa will be booked out, even if I wanted to tell Mike to come. Which I don’t. I’ll book into a backpackers’ place, stay there until he comes. It was only…’ She swallowed. ‘Christmas by myself… I’ve never…’
‘You can’t spend Christmas alone,’ Ben said.
‘Frazer says I have to. He says the hotel won’t take responsibility for me.’
‘He doesn’t need to take responsibility,’ Ben told her. ‘Jess and I aren’t staying at the hotel over Christmas either. We’ll be at the sanctuary. The researchers will have gone. Sally and Dianne will have gone. There’ll be beds to spare. Jess and I are both trained obstetricians. I do need some reassurance, though, about the baby. If you agree, I’ll ask the ultrasound team if they’ll let either Jess or I give you a thorough examination before they leave with their equipment. If everything’s looking good, why don’t you spend Christmas with Jessie and Dusty and Pokey and me?’
Jess was almost too stunned to respond. She was too stunned to object.
Kathy headed back to her hotel quarters, almost happy.
Ben made a call to Elizabeth, in charge of the ultrasound team. Who owed him.
‘She doesn’t leave until eleven tomorrow,’ he told Jess when he finished speaking. ‘After the free advertising Pokey and I gave them, she’s ready to promise the world. One ultrasound at eight in the morning’s a doddle.’
‘A doddle,’ Jess said faintly. ‘To have a woman giving birth in a wildlife sanctuary.’
‘She’s not due until January. You know Mam’s right. First babies are more often late than early.’
‘She’s stressed, she’s been doing hard physical work, and that baby’s sitting low.’
He grinned. ‘You’re saying we can’t deliver one baby?’
‘You’re not staying at the sanctuary.’
‘I am,’ he said gently. ‘I always was. It’s only you who’s been thinking otherwise.’
‘I don’t want you to.’ And it was a wail.
‘Because?’
‘Because I’m scared.’ There, it was said. Out in front of them, the elephant, right in the room.
‘I won’t hurt you,’ he said at last.
She was standing clutching the bench behind her. As if she needed support. The table was between them. They needed something between them.
‘I know you won’t.’ She swiped her curls from her face. ‘This is dumb. How I feel…’
‘I believe I feel like that, too,’ he said. ‘Blown away.’
‘You were dating another woman until a week ago.’
‘Until a week ago I was thinking there was never a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.’
Silence.
It went on and on.
She should move, she thought. He should move. It was like neither of them knew how to.
She had to break this moment.
‘I’m not interested,’ she managed.
‘Liar.’
‘Your brother came close to ruining my life.’
‘You think I would?’
‘No, but…’ Were her curls really in the way or was it just everything seemed in the way? ‘I can’t divorce it,’ she said at last. ‘How I felt about him. How I feel about you. You even look like him. You look like my son. And here you are, saying…saying…’
‘That I’m as confused as you are,’ he said. ‘I’ve met you and fallen in love in less than a week. It hardly makes sense to me either.’
‘It doesn’t make sense because it isn’t,’ she said. ‘It’s not possible. It’s not even remotely likely. You’ve met a little boy who reminds you of a brother you’ve lost. You’ve met me and I’m your brother’s lover…’
‘I could never think of you as Nate’s lover.’
‘It doesn’t matter what you think. I just…was.’ She was shaking, she discovered. ‘Every time you see Dusty… How could that ever be a basis for a relationship? How could I ever think what you feel for me could be divorced from Nate? How could I ever be sure you’re not Nate?’
‘I’m not…’
‘I can’t think,’ she said. ‘Please, Ben, leave it.’
‘I can’t leave Dusty.’
‘I know you can’t.’
‘And I will stay at the sanctuary over Christmas.’
‘Fine, then.’ She sounded dreary. She felt dreary. She thought…this man…he was standing before her, wanting her, and
it’d be so easy just to step forward.
He’d been dating another woman until a week ago. He was Nate’s brother.
Last time she’d let her heart rule her head…
No and no and no.
‘Goodnight, Ben,’ she said, and clutched her bench tighter. ‘I…I’m sorry I danced with you tonight. I’m sorry I kissed you.’ She paused. Met his gaze. Forced herself to go on. ‘I let myself be a girl again, like I was when I met Nate. Stupid and romantic and careless. That’s not who I am.’
‘I know you’re not.’ His smile was a caress all by itself. His smile was almost her undoing. ‘Well, not stupid and not careless. I suspect romantic’s still in there somewhere.’
‘Then it’s staying in there,’ she said grimly. ‘It’s never coming out. Not now. Not ever. Goodnight, Ben. It seems we need to spend Christmas together but after that…we live half a world apart and that’s the way I want it.’
He wanted, quite simply, to kill his brother.
If Nate wasn’t already dead.
There were excuses for what Nate had become. Ben had come out of their parents’ divorce on the lucky side. At eleven he’d already started coming into conflict with his abusive, overbearing father. Once, when his father had struck his mother, he’d hit him. He’d copped a dislocated shoulder for his pains, he’d suffered his father’s ongoing taunts as a mummy’s boy, but when the divorce had come through he’d left his father’s toxic presence. He’d had a couple of lovely ‘nannies’.
Nate had been left with his father. When Ben had finally been able to get back in touch, he’d copped a blast of anger that had astounded him. Nate had blamed him, too, for his desertion.
So there were excuses. But… Nate had almost destroyed Jess.
How could he have hurt someone so beautiful?
How could he have poisoned her against the entire family?
Easy. Jess had met Nate first. Then she’d met his father. How on earth could he expect her to trust him?
Why did he want her to?
A week ago he’d been swearing no women, ever. A week ago he’d thought no family.
She already felt like she was family, and it wasn’t because of Dusty; he’d swear it wasn’t.
So what was it? What made him feel…? How he was feeling?
It had been Jessie’s response at Marge’s bedside. Her reaction to a five–foot-long snake; her insistence on saving it, not abandoning it to die. Her intelligence, the way she talked to her colleagues, the way her eyes sparkled with interest and enthusiasm.
The sensation of holding her in his arms tonight.
Kissing her.
Watching her care for Kathy.
She didn’t want him at the sanctuary over Christmas. The thought terrified her—he could see that it did. But he’d seen her bleak acceptance, her knowledge that she was trapped.
She wouldn’t regret it. He wouldn’t push. He couldn’t.
If only he’d met her before Nate had…
There was no use thinking of that. No use at all. He simply needed to play the hand he’d been dealt.
Kathy’s ultrasound the next morning showed everything as excellent. Beautiful presentation. Perfect baby with good, strong heartbeat.
‘Would you like to know if you’re carrying a little girl or a little boy?’ Ben asked, and Kathy gave him a shy smile and shook her head.
‘I’d like Mike to be here when we find out.’
Mike had better hurry, Ben thought, assessing the baby’s size and the sheer bulk of Kathy’s body, the way she winced as she tried to sit up before he reached and helped her. He’d even done a fast cervical examination, just in case. There was no sign of dilatation but even so…
Maybe he should send her to the mainland.
But she’d be alone.
He thought it through. Weighed the risks. Another delegate was staying on in the resort over Christmas as well, and her husband was a paediatrician. In a medical emergency a helicopter could get here from the mainland in twenty minutes. Paediatric back-up. Evacuation. It wasn’t so much of a risk.
And the alternative…to have Kathy stay alone, waiting…
If anything happened over Christmas…if she was staying alone in a strange city… There was no real choice and as his examination ended, as he opened the door and found Jess there, waiting to gather Kathy into a hug, as Dusty bounced up and down with Pokey in his arms, saying ‘Are you okay, Kathy? Sally’s here with the buggy to collect us and she’s promised to go really slow’, as he saw Kathy’s shy smile of thanks, he thought, no, this was right.
The only thing that wasn’t right was that he wasn’t going with them until later in the day. That was the deal. They didn’t need him this morning. Sally and Dianne were flying out tonight. He’d go over then.
For this morning he’d scheduled a meeting with health department officials. They were discussing pain management in birth situations when there was no doctor on site, contents of medical kits for remote area nurses, proposals for these nurses to have the authority and the equipment to do what was needed.
It was an important discussion.
But he wanted to be…with his family?
CHAPTER TWELVE
THIS promised to be a very exciting Christmas. Possibly too exciting, Jess conceded as they bumped over the track to the sanctuary. One pregnant dog. One pregnant woman. Forty dependent animals.
She sat in the buggy and worried—about all of the above, plus Ben.
Given her druthers, she’d have sent their gear in the buggy and walked, but there was no way Kathy could walk the track, or Pokey either. Sally was driving at snail’s pace with her pregnant baggage, and all the time Jess was thinking Ben was coming tonight and then there was Christmas.
Ben.
He was filling her thoughts. The feel of him last night… The sensation of melting into him… Was she a fool for backing away?
But she had no choice. The memory of those first months when she’d known she was pregnant came flooding back. The sensation of being out of control, her mother’s distress that she might have to give up medicine, Nate’s disdain, the awfulness of having to prove he was the father…
Falling for Ben wouldn’t be like that.
There was no guarantee.
‘Ooh, I hope we have puppies tonight,’ Dusty said, hugging Pokey close. ‘Puppies for Christmas!’
‘No one’s allowed to have babies until Dr Oaklander gets here,’ Kathy said.
And Jess thought, Kathy trusts him. She trusts Ben to deliver her baby in the middle of nowhere.
Trust…
Kathy was very young.
Jess knew better.
The good thing about arriving early was that Jess could organise the bedrooms.
Inside were two lovely bedrooms, each with a single bed, occupied by Marg and Dianne. There was also another, stripped clean, but consensus was that no one wanted to sleep in it. Not yet. Marge’s loss was too raw.
There were also two beds in a sleep-out, where the students doing research usually stayed.
Easy.
‘You’ll need the most comfortable bed,’ she told Kathy. ‘You have Sally’s room, Ben can have Dianne’s, and Dusty and I will sleep out the back.’
So far so good, she thought as she helped Dianne and Sally with last-minute packing. Keep busy. Stay apart from Ben. Christmas Eve tomorrow, then Christmas Day, then leave.
No drama.
Dianna and Sally left, still thinking up instructions. She and Dusty set to work cleaning cages. Kathy sat down with Pokey on an old settee on the veranda ‘just for a moment’ and promptly went to sleep. Ben arrived, threw his gear into his designated bedroom and started cleaning pens on the opposite side of the sanctuary to Jess.
So far so good.
Jess moved into evening animal feeding.
She worked one side of the shelter, Ben the other. Dusty stuck with Ben.
Ben had sucked him in, too. Oaklander charm. Irresistible.
She was
resisting.
Feeding finished, she turned to dinner. They’d brought sandwiches from the hotel for lunch, but now they were on their own.
‘There’s food in the freezer,’ Sally had told her. ‘Even a turkey.’
There was. Sausages, sausages and more sausages. A mountain of sliced bread. One gigantic turkey. Nothing else. She stared into the depths of the freezer with dismay, then checked out the refrigerator. Half a dozen limp-looking lettuces and a couple of bags of rock-hard tomatoes.
The pantry was filled with long-life milk.
Here was a gut lurch. Why hadn’t she thought this through? Sally and Dianne wouldn’t have had time to think about food over the last few days.
She’d take the ferry across to the mainland tomorrow for provisions, she decided. Fight the Christmas Eve crowds.
She thought suddenly, wistfully, of the beautiful decorations back at the hotel.
One turkey did not a Christmas make.
Meanwhile…tonight…
‘I guess it’s sausages,’ she muttered into the bleak refrigerator.
‘Actually, it’s smoked salmon roulade followed by pasta with a creamy mushroom sauce,’ Ben said from behind her. She whirled to face him. He was leaning on the doorjamb, watching her. ‘Then we have a choice of chocolate mousse or lemon tart. I know, the desserts are leftover conference fare, but it was going cheap. Scrooge has nothing on me. I suggest we eat on the veranda looking over the sea. Dinner will be here in four minutes.’
‘You’ve…’
‘Ordered dinner. Unless you really want sausages. I asked Dianne what food she had here. I decided the menu needed a little tweaking.’
‘I like sausages,’ Dusty said, edging into the room around Ben. He was trying to read his mother’s expression. Knowing something was wrong.
‘Then we’ll cook sausages, too,’ Ben said agreeably. ‘I’m mighty fond of sausages. They might take a while to defrost, though. Maybe we should have preplanned…’
‘You did preplan,’ Jess said, and couldn’t stop herself sounding accusing.
‘I need to. I know what I want.’
His gaze locked with hers.
I know what I want. Uh-oh.
Dynamite Doc or Christmas Dad? Page 14
