by KL Shandwick
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I lied again and wondered how quickly he’d back off once he’d found out the truth about me.
Chapter 23 ~ Complicated
Buster barked loudly as he ran after my car as I pulled up our driveway. Flynn’s phone rang, and he glanced at the incoming caller’s ID before his eyes flicked to mine. I watched him as he quickly declined the call, but not before I saw Iria’s name light up on the screen.
Suddenly my stomach felt like I’d swallowed some lead. I’d been so selfish. I hadn’t heard her name mentioned in a while in the media. It hadn’t even occurred to me that Flynn may still be with her.
“Did you just cheat on Iria with me?”
Flynn chewed his lip, drew in a deep breath and exhaled heavily. “No. We’re not together.”
“So why is she calling you?”
Who am I to him anyway? I’ve no right to question him. I had called him. I’d been the one to turn into him in bed. What Flynn did was really none of my business.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have behaved like that. It’s none of my business who you are with.”
Flynn put his hand on my arm, turned and looked directly at me. His face softened. “I’m not with her, okay?” His voice sounded like he was trying to convince me.
Suddenly, I was embarrassed with how I’d reacted and wondered why it hadn’t even occurred to me that he’d be in a relationship? The guy was smoking hot property. I turned off the engine and grabbed my bag from the back seat.
“Seriously, it’s fine, Flynn. Who you see has nothing to do with me. You’re your own man.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
I pulled on the handle and got out the car without answering him. Taking my camera cases from the trunk, I locked it and headed toward the kitchen. When he hadn’t followed me, I looked back I saw he was still seated in the car and was holding his cell to his ear.
Tears clouded my vision as I rushed upstairs and grabbed some of the extra camera batteries I’d had on charge. Leaving via the glass slider in the dining room with my equipment, I headed to the make-shift studio dad and Kayden had made me.
I was thankful I still did my editing, developing and printing work at home. It gave me the ideal excuse to make some space from him, especially with when I knew my temper had flared. Whatever happened in my personal life had to be put to one side, I still had work to do. So I’d done my best to concentrate with a heavy heart. I’d been a fool to fall for Flynn again.
Almost three hours later, there was a soft tapping noise on the wooden door. I had taken all the stills and backed them up to my cloud drive and had begun working through the first SD card of pictures. It had to be Flynn, the rest of my family just walked in. My heart reacted before I’d even opened the door. He stood with his hands in his pockets and a sorry expression on his face.
“Is it a good time to talk? I can explain.”
“You don’t have to. It’s my fault. I should never have started… that between us.”
He looked at his feet and turned his feet outward, showing the soles of his bare feet then he snickered. “Alright, you shouldn’t have, but I guess it was half and half.”
“You should have told me Iria was around when I texted.”
“Iria and me… we’re not… it’s complicated.”
Turning away from him I wandered around my desk and tried outwardly to appear unaffected, “Like I said, Flynn, nothing to do with me. Apart from the fact you fooled around with me. That makes me feel kinda dirty now.”
“You were kinda dirty. Fucking hot and dirty,” he smirked looking at me from under his lashes. I noticed his cheeks became a little flushed like he was thinking about what we’d done.
“Go home, Flynn. I should never have asked you to come here. It was immature of me. I’ll deal with Daryl on my own.”
“Like fuck, I’ll go home. You don’t get to run hot and cold with me like that, Valerie. You called me here for one thing, and it led to another. You messed around with me, got me all riled up and now that you’ve had your fun it’s ‘thanks, Flynn, but no thanks?’ I told you Iria and I… it’s complicated. I’m not with her.”
“Does she know that?”
Biting his lip, he stood facing me, but hadn’t answered. I stared back in defiance, and when there was no movement on either side, I spoke again, “Look, Flynn, I don’t really have time for this. I work for myself. Time is money. I have to get these finished and the longer we stand here, the later I’ll get to bed tonight. I’m sorry I made that call to you. You were right. I’m not ready for you. I’ll never be ready for you. Not in this lifetime anyway,” I was shocked at how bitchy I sounded when I was jealous.
Flynn stepped outside and began to walk away. As I was closing the door, he started walking back toward me and began to talk, but I continued to shut the door, leaving him talking to himself. All of the special feelings we’d had together felt tainted and I tried to dismiss any silly notions I’d had about being with him.
Struggling through my tears, I continued to try to perfect my shots. I gave up after a few minutes and turned my camera and desktop off. Laying my head on my desk, I fought back my tears and swallowed roughly past the lump in my throat. Packing up, I figured it was no use staying there, and I’d thought given his track record, Flynn would probably have left by then. Once I’d ensured everything was in order, I turned out the lights, locked the door and headed back to the house.
As I neared the kitchen door, I saw Flynn’s outline standing under the light, and as I got closer, I heard him speaking on his cell phone. “Give him a hug from me. Yep, I’ll be back the day after tomorrow, hon. No problem. See you around four.”
Pretending not to notice him I had almost made it to the door when he quickly placed himself between me, and the doorframe.
“You ready to listen to reason now, Valerie?”
“I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“Fine. We’ll talk there.”
“No way. You’re not sleeping in my room.”
“Where the fuck am I supposed to sleep? I guess I’ll have to bunk down in Martin’s…”
“Don’t you fucking dare taunt me with that again,” I said, as he slanted his head at me and raised a brow at my outburst.
“Fine. Whatever,” I said, throwing my hands up in surrender. I’d wondered why my parents hadn’t picked up on where Flynn had slept the night before, but neither of them had mentioned it. I had no intention of sleeping beside him again.
After we’d gone upstairs, Flynn hadn’t allowed any awkwardness to develop by heading straight to the bathroom, closing the door. The shower started and the dull whir of the fan in there seemed deafening as I tried to think of how to play my next move. I decided I’d keep my mind on Daryl and giving him a taste of his own medicine. I’d hoped after that was accomplished, Flynn would leave.
Inside my stomach was in turmoil, my heart felt torn, and a crushed feeling was back in my chest. I had no idea how I was going to get through the night without crying. He’d warned me he wasn’t good for me and I had begun to think he was right about that too.
I was really upset with Flynn and had intended to sleep on the floor. I went to grab an extra comforter and pillow as my head and my heart fought about how I felt him. He’d had been in my heart since the day I’d met him, and the last time I’d seen him he’d taken a toll on it. This time, the scar he’d made there had burst open. When the time came for him to leave again nothing short of amputation was going to get rid of him from it this time. Martin was right—I had poor judgment when it came to men.
Spreading the comforter on the floor, I was in the process of pulling out some pajamas when I heard the shower turn off. My mind went back to Iria again. Although I’d done my best not to follow his press, everything I had ever read said Flynn had been unfaithful to her. I’d known that and it never once popped into my head that they may have still been together. Am I completely stupid? I’d seen Flynn mentioned a
few times in the news at various events, but I hadn’t seen him linked to Iria for a while.
Cracking open the door, Flynn came back into view wearing only a towel. My mind went back to the first time I saw him like that and my face flushed. Glancing at his firm body I noted the towel hung low on his waist, and the fresh smell of his clean body filled my nostrils when he passed by me to leave his clothes on the chair. I scooted to my feet and quickly made for the bathroom. I stayed there for twenty-five minutes showering in the hope that he would have fallen asleep by the time I stepped back into my room. No such luck.
He was lying down on the makeshift bed on his side, perched up on his elbow staring directly at me.
“You smell good enough to eat,” he said smirking as his eyes followed me all the way to my bed. I never replied, and slid between the sheets with my heart thumping hard in my chest. I’d barely turned the lamp off when my throat constricted as I swallowed down the sad, emotional tidal wave that tried to rise from my chest.
“So are you not talking to me?”
When I didn’t reply, he spoke again, “I’m just going to get the silent treatment? No adult conversation about this?”
“There’s nothing to discuss, Flynn. I guess I got a little carried away with you today. It must have been a rebound thing from Daryl,” I suggested, knowing full well that wasn’t the case.
“Well if that’s the case I’d be happy to be your rebound go-to fuck buddy anytime.”
The harshness in his tone tore another strip off of my heart. I knew he was angry. Wasn’t that what I’d wanted to achieve by that remark? Tears sprang to my eyes and blinked rapidly trying to stop them from rolling down my face. Flynn didn’t deserve my tears. Not when he’d played with my heart with such disregard.
“Fuck you, Flynn,” I spat.
“I wish you would, babe, it might relieve some of that tension that has you wound up so tight.”
“I won’t be fucking you, and you won’t be fucking me,” I’d declared. My tone sounded high-pitched and cutting.
“Nope. I won’t. Not unless you beg, remember?” he chuckled goading me further.
I rolled away from him and felt so frustrated with him that I feared I’d burst a blood vessel. I decided not to dignify him with an answer. After about ten minutes Flynn blew out a long deep breath. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ve created this situation all by myself.”
“Created what? Being a man-whore?” My response was so rapid I’d forgotten I’d decided to ignore him.
“I’m not a man-whore. That may have been true to some extent when I first met Martin, but not anymore. Sure I slept with more than a few girls in college, but I’ve had six women in three years, six and a half if we count what we’ve been doing. That may be a lot by your standards but not when I get hit on all day long.”
“Still five and a half too many. Poor Iria.”
“What? I’m almost twenty-four, Valerie, I’m male, and I like sex. And yeah, poor Iria is right,” he said in a sad tone.
“That’s rich coming from you. You’re the one causing her heartache, Flynn.”
“And that judgmental issue you have needs addressing.”
I heard him moving around in the dark then felt the bed dip as he sat on the edge of it.
“The call from her threw me today,” he said.
“Yeah, right under a truck. At what point were you going to discuss her still being in the picture, Flynn?”
“I wasn’t going to discuss her. Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”
“Go on, give it your best shot, but I don’t see what difference it’ll make. Like I said, it’s none of my business.”
“Like hell, it isn’t. We’ve got this chemistry going on that makes me want to fuck you or kill you. A really fiery burn that seems to be ingrained in me since the day I set eyes on you. I wanted to hold you, and when that wasn’t enough, I had to taste you and that still wasn’t enough. But you know what? I wished to God you’d had condoms in that studio today because we’d probably still be in there right now and Iria’s call wouldn’t have mattered.”
“Well, I suppose I have to be thankful for small miracles.”
“Nothing small about me, babe. You had me right there in your hand,” he smirked.
When I hadn’t responded to that, he reached out and touched my feet through the covers. I pulled my legs away. “Don’t touch me.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining when I touched you earlier.”
I lay in the dark shaking my head infuriated at him for trying to make light of this situation with his cocksure attitude.
“Alright. I don’t have to tell you this, but you mean a lot to me, Valerie. I care about you, so here’s the truth about Iria and me. I’d bagged her a few times before we hung out in a more connected way. She came on to me again at a party the weekend after we went back to college after Thanksgiving. Martin and I argued non-stop about how I’d behaved around you. He knew I was becoming a little… obsessed with you. I kept asking him questions I thought were safe ones, but he was already suspicious that I’d set my sights on you.”
He snickered and stopped talking for a moment. He was becoming obsessed with me? My heart sped up as he continued talking.
“Your brother became pretty fierce about keeping me from you… and he was right. My behavior before I met you was pretty shameful. I had no respect for women, and the women I slept never had respect for me. All they wanted was a quick fuck or to marry me. Nothing in between. All I wanted was to fuck them.”
Clearing his throat, he continued, “Iria seemed like a cool chick at first, but then she was full-on from the moment she took me home to her place. At first, I was happy to have someone who loved me… who wanted to help me. Then she wanted to own me, and that wasn’t okay. Before I knew what had happened I’d become entrenched because Bernie, my manager was a close friend of her father’s. It’s driven me crazy how they all want a piece of me. I was grateful for the opportunity to be in a band and for the confidence training, but the other stuff…”
Shifting on the bed, I waited for Flynn to continue. His constant change in position told me he wasn’t comfortable about what he’d wanted to share.
“Iria began to get jealous and accused me of sleeping with every woman I came into contact with. I’d smile at someone in the grocery store, and no matter what age they were, according to her I was flirting.
“Iria’s the kind of girl that could start a fight in an empty house. I tried to understand her perspective and knew that I’d probably have felt insecure if it was the other way around, but there was no reasoning with her. After a few months and just as the band was becoming known, I tried to break up with her. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The girl she was when I met her was nowhere in sight. When I told her we were done, she took it badly even though she knew the relationship wasn’t repairable.”
“What about the girls at the swimming pool?” I blurted out then I could have kicked myself for letting on I’d been reading about him.
Flynn chuckled in the dark, “Yeah that was all me. I was high. Someone coaxed me that I should try some shit they had… never again, that was a one-time deal. I was bombed and those girls…”
“Those girls what?” I probed.
“I fucked one, the other gave me oral. Happy now?”
I wasn’t, “It has nothing to do with me.”
“Like hell it doesn’t. All I’ve wanted, all this time, was to see you again. I can still remember how tight and heavy my heart felt when I left that morning after the funeral. We had unfinished business. It’s still unfinished as far as I’m concerned.”
“It’s finished now,” I said.
“Valerie. It’s never going to be finished between us.”
My heart flipped over in my chest but I couldn’t see any way forward. I knew I wanted to be with him, but apart from Iria, I had my business and Flynn was living a nomadic lifestyle. I wasn’t sure where I’d fit into that.
Chapter 24
~ Getting even
Lying in the dark with a famous rock star sitting at my feet wasn’t something that happened every day. Flynn had just told me he had some serious feelings for me, and I’d been trying to figure out what to do with that information. He’d opened up and had tried to explain why Iria was still in the picture. My body ignored that and want instantly took me over. I wanted him to hold me.
“Like I said, Iria’s a really needy person. I thought she was cool when I met her, but she’s focused on marrying a famous rock star. I don’t think it’s me in particular she wants. I think she sees me as an easy target. My problem is that she isn’t well. She knows exactly how I feel and has for two months since I set things straight with her, but I there is stuff that stops me from walk away from her right now.”
“Sounds to me like you want to have some fun with me and keep a girl waiting in the wings.”
“Valerie, I know how it sounds, but trust me, I can’t just walk away from her at the moment.”
“And that sounds like a line out of a million movies about a guy cheating on his woman.”
The mattress dipped in as he stood and paced around the room again.
“Fuck! That’s not it. This is probably why I didn’t want to talk about her in the car. There’s no easy way forward with this shit. Martin was right. Run, Valerie. I’m only going to hurt you.”
What was I supposed to say to that? “I should never have asked you to come.”
“I’m so fucking glad you did. I wouldn’t have changed the past twenty-four hours for anything. Being with you has been beyond my expectations. I might be living a certain lifestyle where sex, booze and rock ‘n roll are supposed to be an everyday occurrence, but what happened in that studio… and with you here? That was far better than anything my sick head could have conjured up. It was teasing, so fucking sexy and I get a boner just thinking about it. And I’m having fun with you, more than I’ve had in the past couple of years.”
