by KL Shandwick
“Fuck this isn’t easy. I’m trying to be controlled, but my body is screaming to fuck you,” his breathing was becoming labored as his right hand dug into the flesh on my upper left arm. The lust in his voice intensified my longing. Pulling back to face me his hips arched, and once again his cock nudged at my wet entrance. Electrical pulses shot through my body at the thought he may try to enter me. My pulse soared with excitement, but I was a little scared at the same time.
“We should have talked about this before we got to this point but do you have any condoms here?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have any, anywhere. Kayden probably had some. I’d had no idea where that particular thought came from. As if I’d ask him.
“I’m clean, I tested two weeks ago, and I’ve never been bareback before. Do you trust me?”
Bareback? No condom? Is that what it means? Do I trust him? Can I believe that he’s been careful? What if I got pregnant? That would be my luck. “I’m not on any birth control.”
“Neither am I,” Flynn teased. “Well fuck,” he hissed more seriously and pushed himself off the bed, ran his hands through his hair thinking and began dressing.
“Where are you going?”
“Where do you think? I’m going to ask Lee if he has any.”
I was mortified, “You can’t go to Lee. He’ll know what we’re doing. You’re not a very seasoned rock star are you? I thought you’d have some stapled to the inside of your jacket for moments like these.”
Glancing at me with a serious, frustrated expression he huffed, “Valerie, if I was the kind of guy that fucked all the groupies that offered then yeah, I would, but I told you, I’m not interested in doing this with anyone but you.”
He pulled his t-shirt over his head and buttoned up his jeans. “Back in a minute.”
Once he’d left the room the reality of what was happening set in, and I wondered if I was emotionally ready for being with Flynn Docherty. I’d dreamed about him since I was fifteen and he was about to take my virginity. That was a huge thing to come to terms with.
A pang of guilt hit me, and I wondered whether to come clean with him about it being my first time. Then I remembered him saying that he’d never take me in my bed if it was my first time and the thought that he wouldn’t do it because of that distressed me.
My mind flicked through so many things in those moments, and I pondered over if it was Lee’s job to keep condoms for Flynn. I pushed that thought away, because despite everything, I could never imagine feeling the same depth of feelings I had for Flynn with anyone else.
Two minutes later Flynn slid around the door and locked it again. “Bingo!” He smirked and waved a red strip of four condoms in front of me. He tossed them on the bed and stripped his clothes off. Climbing into the bed, he swept his arms around me and smiled down at me again. “In the future, I’m stocking these everywhere we go. My balls are blue running around like a sixteen-year-old trying to get my rocks off.”
I smiled up at him but felt the moment was gone. We’d been so heated before, and I thought we wouldn’t be able to recapture that moment.
“So, Valerie Darsin, love of my life. Where were we?”
Love of my life? My heart stuttered at his statement, and I tried to act normally while I absorbed his declaration, “I think you were playing bingo.”
“Hmm,” he chuckled.
Suddenly he grabbed my hips and flipped me on my back, sweeping over me; he caged me in with his limbs against the mattress. Flynn pushed his groin into mine and ground his erect cock into my pubic bone. “Fuck. See what you do to me, babe? All fucking day I’ve been like this. Your body is torturing me. I’m so hard for you.”
Looking down at his solid thick cock and I understood exactly what he meant. My body and mind were pretty battered with all the teasing it had taken as well, and I had no real clue about sex.
Five minutes later, I was moaning softly under his touch again, as the dizzying, crazy sensations he pulled from my body were nothing short of the sweetest torture to my inexperienced, emotional self. His fingers slid the length of my pussy and back until his thumb found my clit and drew small circles on my bundle of nerves until my mind fell apart at the seams. I began to make soft, mewling noises and Flynn covered my mouth with his absorbing the sounds of ecstasy I felt.
I felt spent after that. It had been a long emotional day, but Flynn wasn’t anywhere near done. His hand fished around above the comforter until he found the condoms. He tore one from the foil strip before chucking the rest on the floor. Ripping the packet, he took the little latex wrap and rolled it all the way down to his root. He looked huge, and I almost crawled off the bed feeling scared about him trying to put all of that inside my body.
Smiling he crawled over me and I felt his cock rest at my entrance followed by one hand. “You’re soaking wet for me.”
His face nestled into the crease of my neck and he sucked my skin gently. Goosebumps erupted the length of my body, and a shiver ran down to the base of my spine from the excitement that had taken over my thought and functions. He chuckled and moved up onto his arms before taking a breast in his mouth. “Mmm,” he murmured and the vibration centered in my core. Squirming under him, my legs relaxed wider, and I lifted my knees. Flynn nudged closer.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, you know that?”
“And flattery will get you anywhere.”
“I was hoping you’d say that because there is this little place I’ve never been before,” he flirted, smiling playfully as he held my gaze.
Swallowing, I cleared my throat and stared back at his lust-filled cloudy eyes and for a moment, I couldn’t think. The green hue of them was dwarfed by his huge pupils. I shivered as soon as his hand skimmed my belly as he positioned himself at my entrance. He nudged forward a tiny bit, and it stung. A course of adrenaline rushed through me. His cock wasn’t small, and as soon as he started to enter me I’d felt it stretch and burn.
My body tensed with the pain and he stopped, immediately pulling his cock out.
“I thought you wanted this. Why are you tensing up?”
“I do. It’s just…”
“It’s just that you want to tease me some more? Let me tell you, babe, I am strung out with all the cock-teasing.” He stared into my eyes and his expression suddenly became one of shock as he realized why I wasn’t being that spontaneous.
“Shit! You weren’t going to tell me this is your first time?”
Emotion closed my throat, and I couldn’t answer him because if I tried, I would have cried.
“You’ve had a boyfriend all this time, and you’ve never—what the fuck is he? A monk? How could he touch you and not want to fuck you?”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I swallowed hard trying to keep them at bay.
“Oh, no, hey… don’t. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m stunned,” he said softly.
“Can you just do it? I want you to do it,” I whispered with almost a plea in my voice as I tried to hold his gaze.
“I’ll hurt you,” he said, his lips forming a line and giving his face a tense expression.
“Physically, yes. But if you don’t, I’ll be emotionally hurt. That takes longer to heal. I already know that.”
He studied my face, and then stared into my eyes. It was unnerving. I’ll never forget that look, because I knew he felt the significance of the moment between us. I wondered what he was thinking as my heart ached for him to have the courage to keep going with this.
Flynn crawled down the bed again and flipped me over him and turned me away from him. Pulling my butt down he’d begun licking my pussy slowly like he was giving me a tender kiss. I lay in a sixty-nine position with my head down on his legs and got lost in the sensation. Once again my body began to vibrate with anticipation and after a few minutes what he was doing was no longer enough. As if he sensed this, he readjusted me on my back and crawled toward me spreading my legs with his knees.
“This is goin
g to hurt a little, babe. I’m sorry,” the pained look on his face made my heart quicken because I knew it was the moment of no return.
Nudging forward, his arms cocooned my head, and he dipped his forehead to mine.
“I can’t believe I get to be your first.”
“I’m glad it’s you,” I said smiling weakly as my heart hammered inside my chest.
“If it’s too much, tell me, and I’ll stop. If you tell me to get out, we’re done for now. I’m not doing this twice; I’d hurt you more that way,” the serious look on his face made me feel more scared.
I nodded, and Flynn began to nudge forward. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he muttered his eyes never leaving mine.
Inch by inch he pushed into me, and I lay silently biting my lip. It hurt. Every squeak I made he countered it with a kiss, “That’s it, baby, relax for me.”
Suddenly, I felt as if something tore inside and his cock glided in up to his root. I cried out because of the stretching, burning sensation and Flynn covered my mouth with his hand.
“Shh, babe,” he said. He stilled, cupping my mouth. His eyes searched my face and his brow furrowed.
“I’m sorry, babe. I never wanted to hurt you,” he said shifting a little inside.
I winced, and he kissed my forehead as worry became etched in his eyes, “Does it always hurt?”
“Fuck no, maybe the first few times it might, until you get used to my size, but after that— I’m going to ride you so fucking hard, Valerie, because I don’t want you to ever forget who you’re with.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line? You’re the rock star after all,” I teased.
“Babe, I could watch your body lying beneath me all day long. We all have to be fans of someone.”
The pain in my pussy had eased off, and he drew back a little and sank back into me. “How’s that? Is it okay?”
“Bearable,” I said and smiled. It burned like hell, but I didn’t want him to stop.
Flynn took my mouth in a kiss and stuck his tongue deep into my mouth. I moaned, and he rocked gently against me again. After a couple of minutes, I found myself arching back into him. “Good girl, now you’re feeling it,” he smiled as he glanced at me quickly and kissed me again. His hands began to roam over my body, and he moved a little more freely inside. It still felt tight, but the burn had gone. Every thrust made my pussy pulse, and he hissed with each one.
“Valerie, I love you, but I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer, I’m sorry,” he ground out as he tried to control his urge to go faster.
I wasn’t sure what he meant other than he his voice sounded urgent. His butt reared back more, and he rocked in longer thrusts his face an inch from mine as our foreheads pressed firmly together. Beads of sweat formed on his face from the effort of trying to control himself.
“You are the most beautiful woman in the world, you know that?”
I smiled because I believed he meant that even though I’d heard a man was capable of saying anything to a woman to get them to do this. “And you’re the most beautiful man. I love you, Flynn Docherty,” I countered raking my nails firmly down his back. As I confessed what was in my heart, his body went rigid, jerked above me, and I felt his cock pulse inside. Flynn’s mouth took mine in a possessive kiss. Even though his orgasm he responded to my declaration.
I held him through his aftershocks then slowly he eased out of me and rolled onto his back. He pulled the condom off and tied the end then leaned over and placed it carefully on his boxers. Laying back down his chest heaved as his body quieted then he pulled me into his side.
“Say that again,” Flynn panted.
“About you being beautiful?” I teased.
“No, the other thing.”
“I love you?” Flynn squeezed me into his body.
“Yeah, that.”
“I love you, Flynn. I’ve loved you since I was fifteen,” I stated honestly.
“And I’ve loved you since then as well, Valerie. You stole my heart the first time I touched you that night in the bleachers.”
Flynn kissed me tenderly and when we broke the kiss we lay staring into one another’s eyes.
“You know we’re going to be dealing with a whole heap of shit if we do this?”
“Flynn, I’ve had the shittiest things in the world happen to me so far in my life, how much worse can it be?”
He gripped my hip and squeezed, “True, but babe, you’re going to have to be tough and ride it out with me. You’ll hear a ton of shit about me. If it’s true, I’ll be honest with you; if I tell you it’s not, you have to trust me. Think you can you do that?”
“Not blindly, but I’ll try. I’ll say this, though, Flynn. Cheat on me once and we’re done.”
Flynn stared into my eyes and his eyes softened as he brushed some strands of hair from my face and smiled,
“Fair enough. I’m confident that I’d never cheat on you. It’s never going to happen. I love you too much for that babe.”
As I lay wrapped in his arms, I prayed that what he felt at that moment would stay at the forefront of his mind to keep him strong in the future. He’d said it himself; in his line of work, there were too many temptations. I knew it would have to be my life that changed to prevent our relationship from becoming a car wreck like other celebrities. I wasn’t even nineteen, so I wasn’t that confident I had what it took to do that.
Chapter 26 ~ Chicago
A few minutes later, Flynn kissed the top of my head and pulled away. I felt the loss of his heat from my body immediately. He sat, swinging his feet to the floor then stood, picked up the condom and wandered into the bathroom.
My heart sunk to my stomach because I thought I’d been so poor at sex. I heard the water running and knew he was cleaning up. He came back with a washcloth and towel and pulled back the cover. Blood was streaked at the top of my thighs, and there was a small amount on the sheet.
“Let me get you cleaned up, babe,” he said, his voice full of concern as he started to spread my legs. I winced, then felt pathetic for doing so.
“Fuck, you want me to get you some Advil or something? I’m sorry I hurt you, Valerie.”
Feeling embarrassed, I’d tried to take the cloth to clean myself, but he insisted on trying to make me as comfortable as he could. Ten minutes later, he fitted me snugly into his side again, and we settled down in the darkness. I felt cared for and happy once I was cuddled back between the sheets in his arms again.
“Sorry,” I offered.
“For what?”
“Not being good at sex,” I stated.
“You think I was the first time? Hell I shot my load inside a minute I was so excited,” he chuckled.
“It takes a little time, babe. And we’ll have that. I want you to come with me, Valerie. I know you have your life here, but I hope we can work something out. If you do come with me, I have to warn you, life with me will be so different to anything you’ve been used to. It’ll be so fucking hard at times. Are you sure you want to put yourself in that position?”
I worried that he was having second thoughts. “Do you want me to be in that position?”
“To witness all the shit that goes with what I do? No. I don’t. If you mean, do I want you with me all the time? Nothing would please me more. I’m not easy to live with at times, especially when I’m with the band. I don’t get along with a couple of them. They like to stir up trouble for me, feeding the press with garbage about my life.”
“Let’s get through tomorrow. The good thing is, I’m a fast learner. There is a lot we have to discuss before I start running away with you,” I stated flatly.
I curled further into him and ran my fingertip lightly across his hard belly. Flynn bucked, “Fuck. Don’t do that I’m hypersensitive. I want you again, but I know you’re sore. Get some rest, babe,” he said squeezing me tightly before he relaxed his arms again. I was just about asleep when I heard him whisper, “I love you, Valerie.”
A smile stretched my lips in sa
tisfaction. A short while later I heard his steady deep breaths and not long after that I sagged into his side and gave his chest a small kiss, then sleep took me over.
Rolling over in bed, I grimaced. Between my legs hurt, and my bed was empty. I sat with a start, and listened to hear if Flynn was in the bathroom, but instinctively I knew he wasn’t.
I eased myself out of bed and went to pee. It hurt to even walk. Turning on the faucet in the tub, I opened the bathroom cabinet in search of some painkillers. Every movement I made seemed to jar under my legs. My poor sensitive spot stung, but I still felt happy inside. If I had to have that pain, then I was glad it was Flynn that had taken me.
After my bath, I dressed, and the pain relief had begun to work so I could at least walk; the ache between my legs was much more tolerable. When I went into the kitchen, it was empty with the exception of Flynn who was on the phone.
“Alright, I’ll be back by 9:00 pm tonight. I know I was supposed to call you, but I had an emergency I had to take care of,” he said running his hand through his hair. Glancing up, he smirked and stood in front of me. Waving his forefinger at me, he mouthed ‘emergency,’ then winked playfully. He ended his call, then wandered over to the kitchen area as I began to fill the coffee pot.
Flynn slid his arms around my waist from behind and laid his chin on my shoulder. I could feel his hot breath on my neck. Despite the pain, my pussy reacted and clenched with need. His woodsy, musky smell and expert touch reignited the embers that still burned deep within me from the day before. I put the pot down and turned into his arms. His hand immediately slid to cup my butt, and he pulled me flush against him. He rubbed his hard bulge into my belly and smiled slowly.
