It had been a while since I touched someone. Part of me was afraid what would happen if I did. I’d managed to keep out of trouble since I moved here, but this was torture.
This girl was stacked like someone in Maxim magazine. To make matters worse, she seemed to want to be around me. If she only knew the truth; I had to tell her. She had to know that being around me was a dangerous mistake, and all I would do is bring her pain.
When she came out of the bathroom, I literally gasped. I’d already grabbed another beer, but not even the cold brew could hide my reaction. She looked so sexy in my clothes. I wanted to close my eyes and beg her to leave, but I couldn’t do it.
Hope sat back down on the couch and stretched her tanned legs out on the table rubbing them with her hands. “Thanks again for the clothes, and the beer.”
“Sure.”
“I feel so good right now. I usually don’t drink this much. In fact, the last time I got drunk I was sick all night and swore I’d never do it again.” I could tell she was a little buzzed. She was too damn happy to be in this situation and act so relaxed.
I had to keep my composure. This was not a booty-call. I was doing her a favor. “It happens. I’ve had a bunch of those nights, but for some reason it always calls me back.”
“Can I smell you?” She asked.
Okay that was weird. “Come again?”
“Well, your clothes smell so amazing. I‘m just wondering what they smell like on you?” Yeah, she was definitely drunk.
I knew the clothes I was wearing came out of a box, but I had on cologne so they didn’t stink. “It’s kind of a weird request though. I don’t think you should be getting that close to me tonight. We’ve both had a lot to drink.” I knew I hadn’t had that much. I could feel a slight buzz, but I didn’t want her to know that. I needed to keep at a distance. She couldn’t get involved with someone like me. I didn’t deserve to have a relationship. It would never work.
She shocked me when she sat her beer down and pranced over to the large chair I sat in. Her face came so close to my neck that I could feel her breathing. When she spoke I got chills all over my body. “I knew you’d smell even better than your clothes.”
I went to push her away, but she lost her balance and fell into my lap. Her giggles filled the room. Before I could react she sat up and placed her forehead against mine. “Am I pretty?”
If she only knew how irresistible she was; I closed my eyes, refusing to look in hers. “Yes. You. Are.” I spoke in a whisper, as if it made some kind of difference.
Her lips brushed against mine slowly, and then I felt her warm tongue stroking my bottom lip. I wanted to resist it, to push her away and lock myself in my room, but it felt so good. My mind told me this couldn’t happen, but my body wouldn’t let me stop her.
I wrapped my hands around Hope’s small waist and pulled her into the kiss. By the time my tongue brushed against hers, she’d put her hands up my shirt and ran them over my chest. She pulled away and licked her lips. “Take off your shirt. I want to touch you.”
“We shouldn’t do this.” I suggested, while I held the edge of my shirt to prevent her from moving it.
She took my hand and shoved it away. “Yes we should. Unless you don’t want to?” She asked as she backed away from my face.
We stared at each other for a minute. Her lips were already puffy from our kisses while her eyes were burning with such desire. She appeared to be searching for what to say. “Don’t you want me, Chance? I saw the way you’ve been looking at me. You admitted that you liked my body. I’m not very experienced, and my last boyfriend was an asshole. I probably won’t be the best but…” She sucked on her bottom lip before continuing. “I’m so hot for you. I’ve never wanted someone so much before.”
I pushed her away enough to pull off my shirt. I would face the repercussions in the morning. This was something that I needed, that I longed for.
I couldn’t stop myself.
She was begging.
Her hands were on my bare chest. She had an eager smile on her face as she leaned down and licked the skin on my stomach. I pulled her back up into my arms, grabbing her hair and leading her into another kiss. Her tongue was like heaven. I’d deprived myself of affection like this for far too long that I was burning up inside.
She gripped the t-shirt of mine that she was wearing and pulled it over her head. I stared at the white laced, strapless bra. She took my hands and guided them to cup each breast. I couldn’t believe this was happening. The hunger inside of me wanted this while I knew it was a terrible idea.
“Hope, we should stop. You don’t want this. It’s just the alcohol.” I pleaded with her to stop me, because I knew I didn’t have the will to do it myself.
“It’s not just the alcohol.” I watched her body language shift from sexy to very unsure. It was as if she didn’t want to give up, but worried it was going to come to that. She was absolutely adorable like this. “Fine. If that’s how you feel. Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll leave you alone.”
“I can’t tell you that.” I may have been a lot of things, but a liar wasn’t one of them.
“Why not?”
I sighed as I watched my hands brushing over the sides of her hips. She was using her own to control mine, but I was the one feeling everything. I licked my lips before responding to her. “Because, I do.”
“You do what, Chance?” She took one of her hands and let go of mine. Before I could protest, she let it glide over the hard lump between my legs. She already knew how much I wanted her. The proof was suddenly obvious.
“Ah, oh God, I want you so bad.” I kissed her ravenously before stopping and putting my hand over hers to prevent her from moving. “This isn’t going to happen. I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I won’t.”
I had to get up and leave the room before I changed my mind, and ended up taking her to my bed. It wasn’t just the fact that I was attracted to her, or that we were all alone. It was the feeling of being wanted by someone after such a long time. I’d imagined this night in my head, but never been so conflicted before. I couldn’t have sex with Hope, and be able to enjoy myself when I knew she was intoxicated. It would eat me up inside if I went through with it.
Hope said nothing when I left the room, and all I could assume was that she felt rejected enough to give me space. I had to push her away. It was the right decision.
I’d been sleeping for quite some time before I felt my mattress moving. I sat straight up in bed, forgetting for a moment that I wasn’t alone in my apartment. She sat on top of my legs and leaned forward to kiss me before I could protest. I didn’t reach up to hold her, but instead kept my hands flat at my sides.
When she finally pulled away to see how I would react, I turned to look at the clock. Noticing that it was near three, I knew this wasn’t about any alcohol. This chick was coming on to me all by herself. She wanted this, and I was cornered into making a fast decision. “Hope, please. You’re killing me here.”
She jumped off the bed and headed for the direction of the door. “I’m so stupid.”
For a few minutes I laid there contemplating with myself on what I should do.
I found her sitting on the couch. She didn’t say anything as I dropped down to my knees in front of her. My hands were shaking, knowing this was such an intense moment. “I need to know that if I take you back to my bed it’s because you want to be there. I can’t have you saying that it was a mistake.”
She shook her head. “I won’t say that. I won’t tell anyone this happened. I swear.”
Hearing her words made my choice easy. I picked her up into my arms, kissing her the whole way I carried her to my room. I sat her gently on the bed and watched as she backed up onto it, never taking her eyes off of mine.
While crouching down on the mattress, I ran my hands up her legs, taking my time. She watched me pull down her boxers, the whole time licking those sexy lips, which made me want her even more. When the shorts hit the floor I stared a
t her lying on my bed. I kissed her hip bone and then her stomach. Once I made it to her chest, I slowly used my hands to pull down one side of her bra. Hope remained quiet, letting me take control.
As I succumbed to her hot kisses, I reached my hand inside of her underwear to feel her silky skin. She was so ready, the proof cupped within my hand. While shaking, she unbuttoned my shorts and kicked them off with her feet.
There was no time to think. No time to rationalize that this had gone too far; that it never should be happening. She pulled me into position with her legs, and for a moment, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
“We need protection first.” I said worrying how incredibly stupid I’d almost been. Just imagining getting this chick pregnant made me cringe.
“I’m on the pill. Stop talking.” Her lips covered mine, momentarily making me forget our predicament.
I should have never taken her word for it, but I had. Our hips moved systematically together, first slowly but then at a more rapid pace. I was captivated by her body and when she touched me with those lips, anywhere, I got chills deep inside. Her tongue teased me on my neck and ears, and then finally my mouth. I felt her body arching underneath mine and I couldn’t hold out any longer.
I collapsed on top of her, while she stroked my back and stared into my eyes, before finally falling asleep. I closed mine shortly after flipping us around, while keeping our bodies tangled together.
8
I woke up wondering where I was, until I noticed Chance’s body strewn across mine. I lay there for a few minutes taking in just how beautiful he was. How could someone like him be single? A smile crossed my face when I felt his strong arms holding me. I kissed his shoulder and sat up. My head was throbbing as I eased my way out of his bed. When I got into the bathroom I closed the door and emptied my bladder. I opened the medicine cabinet and looked for some kind of pain killer, because it felt like I could throw up, and knew it would only get worse if I didn’t find something to relieve it.
When I was unsuccessful, I headed out into the kitchen. As I was walking I heard the front door opening. I ran back into the bathroom and hid behind the shower curtain. If this was my father, I was so dead.
A female voice filled the small pool house. “Chance? Where are you? Wake up sil…oh my God, you’re naked!” Buffy screamed.
“So, get out of here. Damn!” I heard him yell.
“Well, I came to check on you. Why were you sleeping naked? You never sleep naked.”
I heard the bathroom door move and closed my eyes. I don’t know why I thought that if I had them shut I wouldn’t get caught, but I did it anyway. When I heard the toilet seat lift up and a loud strand of pee hitting the water, I knew it was Chance. I kept as quiet as I could. “I guess I passed out when I got out of the shower. I don’t remember,” he confessed.
“Weird, Chance. You are so weird.”
He didn’t remember? How could he not remember? It was so perfect.
“Whatever. Are you done, or can I get a shower without you hounding me?” He asked as he reached in and turned on the faucet. I couldn’t say anything as the frigid water hit my skin. I put my hand over my mouth and held it in.
“I made breakfast. When you’re done getting yet another shower, you should come eat. Who gets that many showers anyway? You need to get laid so you can start acting normal. I don’t even want to know how many times you’re using showers as an excuse to rub one off. Just make sure you continue washing your own clothes. If I touch one cum rag, I’ll freaking kill you,” she announced as she left. I heard the door slam when the water started getting warm. I almost wanted to laugh at what she’d said.
When I started to relax my body, the shower curtain flew open and Chance came climbing in. “Hope? Oh shit.”
I was crouched down in the bottom of the tub, soaking wet and naked, and he was too.
“Sorry, I heard her coming in, and had to hide,” I confessed.
We were both still frozen in place. He didn’t seem to notice that I was naked. I stood up and faced him, but when I reached my hand out to touch him, he backed away. “What’s wrong, Chance?”
“You need to leave. You can’t be here.”
“But last night?”
“Was a big mistake.”
His words crushed me.
Last night had been the best night of my life and those four words destroyed me. I hugged my chest and climbed out of the shower. “Let me just grab some clothes and I’ll call my friend to meet me down the street.” I headed out of the bathroom, trying desperately to hold back my emotions.
Within seconds he was standing behind me in nothing but a towel. “Hope, please understand. We can’t do this. We should have never done anything.”
“I understand perfectly. I’m so sorry that I threw myself at you. I thought we liked each other.” I wanted to be sick. This couldn’t have gone any more differently than I’d imagined. Yet again I’d slept with another guy who clearly couldn’t respect me. It was nauseating.
“I’m sorry.” Was all he said, and it was enough to break my heart.
I threw on clothes I found on the floor and went running out of the back of the pool house. When I made it into the neighbor’s yard behind my father’s, I kept running. I didn’t want anyone to stop me. I pulled the cell phone out of my small clutch purse and started dialing Rylee.
By the time she picked up I was a mess. I couldn’t even get the words out.
“Slow down, Hope. I can’t understand you.”
“I need you… to come… get me.”
“What happened to you last night? Who was that guy?”
“I’ll… explain… everything when… you get here.”
“Where?”
I gave her directions to the entrance of my father’s community while I started walking in that direction. If I ever came back here again, it would be too soon.
I felt like it took forever for Rylee to pick me up. When she did, she couldn’t believe what she saw. I was soaking wet, and in someone else’s clothes, without a bra. I wasn’t as wet as before, but since I hadn’t had time to towel off, things were pretty see through.
She had a million questions, but once I climbed inside the car, all I could do was cry. I had never felt so humiliated before.
I should have never agreed to her stupid plan last night.
“Where did you go, Hope?” She asked when I’d finally calmed down.
I looked at her. “Obviously I ended up going home with someone.”
“Holy crap. Are you serious? I had no idea. Some hot guy came up and said you needed to leave. I told him to tell you to wait in the car if you were unhappy. The next thing I knew the bar was closing and you were nowhere to be found.”
I couldn’t believe she was turning this around on me. “It was around ten. The bar didn’t close for hours. Did you really expect me to wait outside alone that long?”
“I should have just given you my keys. Kyle would have dropped me off later.”
I cringed. “You hooked up with that strange guy?”
“Don’t you dare go preaching to me, Hope. You obviously did just as much as I did last night,” she said as she continued driving.
“He wasn’t a stranger.”
Rylee pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road. “What do you mean he wasn’t a stranger? Who the hell was he?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled.
“You better spill. I am not moving this car until you do,” she threatened.
I told her all about Chance.
How we met.
How he saved me.
How he took me home.
She didn’t ask for details about what happened once we got there, because the answer was written across my shame-filled face.
Last night had been one of the best nights of my life, but I couldn’t let Hope know that. I wouldn’t give her any reason to want to start a real relationship with me. If she knew what I’d done, and what everyone thought I’d done, sh
e never would’ve been with me.
I couldn’t stop myself. She was so beautiful. Her skin smelled like honey and I hadn’t gotten enough of it. When I woke up and found her gone, I felt sad and alone again. I never expected to talk to her like I had. I saw it in her eyes that I’d crushed her.
How could I be such an insensitive bastard to her, of all people?
I tried to get my mind off of her. I took another cold shower, and started folding clothes, but when I found the dress on the floor, I lost it.
I had to call and apologize. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I’d hurt her. Even if she didn’t want to ever see me again, she deserved to know the truth. I put the clothes away and walked into the house. My plate was in the microwave like always. My sister and Mark were in the family room glued to the television.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”
They both turned to face me. “Chance, where did you go when you left the bar?”
“I came home.” I took a bite of bacon. “Why?”
“You know that bar we were at last night?” Mark asked.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Someone went missing,” Buffy stated.
I dropped the bacon on the plate. “You’re kidding?”
“Just tell us that you did in fact come straight home, Chance.” Of course Mark would want to know.
“I swear to you.”
“Did anyone see you driving alone? Did you stop anywhere that may have caught you on camera?”
Shit!
“No, I was alone. I swear to you that I wasn’t involved. I came straight home.”
Buffy looked over at Mark and then back to me. “The police are running surveillance. If they see your picture…”
I interrupted, “Okay, I get it, Buff. I won’t go anywhere or leave town. Trust me, I know the drill.”
“Chance, we aren’t accusing you of anything. It has to be a coincidence. A terrible coincidence at that,” Buffy said. I knew what she was thinking. She was starting to second guess her faith in me. I was alone. I had no friends and now my own sister doubted my innocence.
A Hope and a Chance Page 6
