by Kendall Ryan
“After the first time we slept together, I could tell that things with Ashley would be different. I’d found my perfect submissive, and I needed her to be completely mine. I demanded that she leave the company. Between being a dancer and an escort, she was working herself to death. It didn’t help that we were all wrong for each other. If the age difference wasn’t enough, we both came with baggage, childhood trauma and all that shit. We couldn’t see it at the time, but there was no way things between us could have ended well.”
He paused, swirling the liquid in his glass and staring at the tablecloth.
“When she got hooked on pills, I knew that something in her life had to change. I grew angrier, more persistent. I told her she needed to find another job, and threatened to fire her if she didn’t start looking. But once dancing was out, she was convinced that being an escort was her only option. I thought that pressing her harder would make it easier for her to start looking for another job, to find other ways to maintain her lifestyle. We started fighting more frequently, which only fueled the white-hot sex we often had. We were always on the brink of exploding, and our push-and-pull was . . . intoxicating. Then one day I found her in the bathtub. At first, I thought she’d just passed out from mixing her pills with a little too much wine. But when she wouldn’t wake up, I just . . .”
He stopped then and gritted his teeth. From across the table, I could see his jaw clenching and knew we had crossed a line.
“Gavin, I’m . . . I’m so sorry,” I said, but he held up a hand to stop me.
He shook his head, staring down at his lap. I’d never seen him look so broken, so vulnerable. The sight of him like this was devastating. I wanted to hold him in my arms, cradle his head in my lap, stroke his hair and soothe him until the ghosts of his past disappeared forever. God, I felt gutted seeing him like this.
Maybe dinner wasn’t the best place for this conversation.
Gavin swallowed. “That’s it. That’s everything. The ugly truth.”
“The article I read said there were ligature marks on her wrists and neck. I—I don’t understand.”
He nodded. “We’d played out a scene earlier that afternoon. She’d wanted me to tie her up, so I did. But those marks had absolutely nothing to do with her death.”
“I see,” I found myself murmuring.
A few moments later, Gavin settled the bill and led me back to the elevator.
Back at our suite, the view of the ocean matched the darkness of the atmosphere between us. The sun had dipped beneath the horizon only a few minutes ago, leaving the sky a deep and hazy indigo, waiting to settle into blackness.
Gavin stood in the center of the living area, his eyes locked on the quickly darkening horizon and his mouth set in a straight, grim line. Apparently, our talk at dinner had shaken him more than I realized. I’d assumed that his relationship with Ashley was intense, and that was why he never mentioned her. But this man standing in front of me, looking like he was ready for his world to cave in? He didn’t look dominant. He looked sad.
I took a seat on the plush white couch and sighed. “Gavin, I . . . thank you for opening up like you did. When Cooper told me about Ashley, I didn’t even think about what it must have been like for you to lose her.” I thought again about his mother, and how devastating it must be to be unable to protect the women you love.
Gavin responded only by nodding slightly. He had been so vulnerable at dinner. I could feel him starting to shut me out again, like he did sometimes after opening up. It was my turn to share now, and my window of opportunity was closing quickly.
“I wasn’t thinking about what it was like for you, because after Cooper told me, the only thing I felt was fear. I didn’t know what to do or what to think. I was just so scared.”
Gavin looked at me with searching eyes. “Of me?”
I nodded. He walked slowly toward me and sat down at the other end of the couch. He stared contemplatively at his hands for a few moments before looking again at me.
“Were you afraid that I’d hurt you like Nathan did?”
I nodded again, this time turning my face away from him. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, and I didn’t want him to see them fall. I wasn’t ready to weep and throw myself into his arms. I needed to be strong to get through the rest of this conversation.
“What did he do to you?”
Looking up at the ceiling to gather my thoughts, I steeled myself and returned my gaze to Gavin. His hazel eyes were steady and concerned, but not as warm as the tone of his voice made me expect. This felt like business Gavin, determined to get to the bottom of a problem. I could only imagine him going after Nathan, bare-knuckled and ready for a fight after this.
“Nathan was more than controlling,” I said, folding my hands in my lap. “He was abusive. He said horrible things to me, called me horrible names. When his yelling escalated to hitting, I was scared I wouldn’t leave the relationship alive.” I wrapped one arm over the other before continuing. “After he hit me, he’d feel so bad that he’d try to make it up to me with sex, but his kind of loving wasn’t warm or tender or gentle. It was brutal and unforgiving, so rough it hardly felt human.”
Gavin furrowed his brow. “Rough like how I take you?”
I shook my head. “No, making love with you is different. You like it rough, sure, but you make me feel cherished. I’ve always felt like you would stop if I asked you to. Nathan wouldn’t. He took in a way that was about control, not pleasure. That’s all anything was about with him. Controlling me.”
For a few minutes we sat in silence, my words hanging in the air between us. I could tell that what I shared worried Gavin. Hell, what I shared worried me. Gavin wasn’t a violent man like Nathan, but he still valued control. Almost too much. Maybe Gavin wasn’t the kind of man to use sex or hit a woman to make her obey, but I worried what other methods he might use.
“Thank you for telling me. It helps me understand things more clearly.”
I nodded, surprised by the depth of our sharing tonight, and totally unsure about what came next.
He moved closer, cupping my jaw with his large palm, and I leaned into him, having forgotten how good it felt to be touched by this man. Every time it was electric, and immediately I needed more. Gavin met my eyes, watching me. I didn’t move any closer, but I wasn’t backing away either.
Lowering his mouth to mine, he pressed a soft kiss against my lips.
“Gavin . . .” My voice broke over his name.
“Missed you so much,” he murmured, his lips moving to my throat.
Tugging me closer, Gavin continued kissing me, and my body lit up under his touch. The warmth of his tongue sliding against mine was pure bliss. For a moment, I lost myself in his kisses, in the press of his rather insistent erection against my belly. Rutting against me uselessly, he let out a soft grunt. But I needed more than his grunts.
My first thought was yes, yes to everything. To him. To all of it. But then my head cleared and my libido slammed to a halt.
No.
“I’m not ready.” I let the words out in a rush, afraid if I let him go further, that would be the end of everything. And this new side of Gavin, so open and bare, was too intoxicating.
“Okay.” He stroked my cheek, then stood, smoothing the wrinkles in his shirt. “I’m going to bed. Would you like to join me?”
I stared at his tall, muscular frame for a moment, although I already knew my answer. Even with his shirt still on, I could see the outline of his firm chest muscles, the curve of his bicep under his sleeve. The bulge in his pants.
I shook my head. “I’m still not ready to sleep with you, Gavin.”
He nodded and briskly left the room. “Good night, Emma,” he muttered over his shoulder before closing his bedroom door behind him.
And just like that, after we’d both shared so much with each other, it felt like we were back to square one. Gavin was cold and distant, and I was left wondering what the hell just happened.
T
I didn’t know if I could ever let him be in control again.
Chapter Five
Gavin
In the morning, I had breakfast delivered to our suite but ended up eating my omelet alone because Emma still hadn’t emerged from her room. Last night’s conversations were enlightening, and I hoped that now that everything was out in the open, we could put the past behind us and move forward.
Once I’d dressed and gotten ready for the golf tournament, I knocked gently on the door to the adjoining room and waited until I heard her footfalls on the plush carpeting.
Emma opened the door wearing a bathrobe, the creamy swells of her breasts clearly visible, and my cock ached with longing. Did she sleep naked?
Before I got the chance to run with that thought, she raised her eyebrows and pasted a thin smile on her lips.
“What’s up?”
I cleared my throat and tried to get my galloping pulse under control. Things were still strained, which was to be expected. I would have to take it slow with her if I hoped to have her stick around.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
Her posture softened, and her smile turned more genuine. “Yes. And you?”
“I would have much preferred you in my bed, rather than the company of my hand.” I chuckled lightly. “But yes, I slept fine.” It wasn’t even a question of trying to censor myself. Emma brought out an uninhibited honesty in me. And maybe all that sharing last night had rubbed off on me.
Her cheeks turned slightly pink, and she looked down at her polished toes.
I brought my hand to her cheek, lifting her face to meet my eyes. “Does that make you uncomfortable, pet? To know that I jerked myself last night to thoughts of you?”
She shook her head, but her eyes held a mix of stormy emotions.
Softly stroking her cheek, I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m going to fix this.” Dropping my hand away, I took a step back. “I have to head to the clubhouse, but I was wondering if I could set you up a spa day while I’m away today. All the works, on me.”
She stepped back from the door and grabbed what looked like a beach cover-up from the bed, along with a book and a bottle of sunscreen. Deftly, she let her robe fall open to showcase a blue-and-white polka-dot bikini.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away her creamy skin and soft curves.
“Nope, I’m a simple girl with simple plans. Today it’s the pool and this book.” She thumped the cover of her paperback.
“Okay, well, I’ll see you after the tournament, then.”
“See you then.”
Turning, I closed the door behind me and headed toward the elevator, trying to stop the wry grin that was already threatening my lips. In spite of everything, I liked this girl more with every passing day. What kind of woman was offered a spa day and turned it down to do something that cost nothing?
Emma, that’s who.
By this point, she shouldn’t have surprised me anymore, but she did. Maybe that was why she drove me so crazy . . . in every sense of the word.
Deep in thought, I made my way to the clubhouse and joined the group of men readying themselves for a long day of golf. It was eight in the morning, but a few guys already had beers in their hands. Typical business-trip behavior. All it made me do, though, was wish I was lounging by the pool with Emma in her tiny polka-dot bikini.
I blew out a sigh and dived into the fray, a smile at the ready. “Good morning, gentlemen. Ready to have your asses handed to you by the master?” I asked with a wink.
As the morning wore on, I schmoozed and passed out my business card, answering questions and pretending to laugh at stupid jokes while my mind was still spinning with thoughts of Emma. Ever since last night, I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind.
The things she’d shared with me . . . the things I’d shared with her. I’d told her things even my own brothers didn’t know.
Still, if there was one thing I’d learned, it was that I had to take the next few steps carefully. I would have to be gentle with her, to remember that she’d been hurt in some of the worst ways a person could be.
Inside, my emotions roared at me to kill the man who’d done that to her, but I controlled myself, funneling all my energy into my game once I stepped up to the first tee.
I needed to win Emma back for real, and I was going to. Right when this fucking game was over.
“Mr. Kingsley?”
I turned, expecting to find my caddy ready with a new putter, but instead, the hotel concierge was staring at me with wide eyes and a card in her hand.
“A message for you,” she said. “It’s urgent.”
I took the note and faced the men around me. “Excuse me, gentlemen, this should only be a mo—”
My words died off as my gaze flitted across the words on the paper.
Company crisis.
Call and return to the city ASAP.
My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed hard, trying to maintain my composure. If either of my brothers was hurt, surely they would have told me in the message? This had to be something else, and anything else was manageable. I just had to find out whatever it was and deal with it.
“I’m so sorry, guys,” I said, trying to keep my cool. “It looks like I have some pressing business and need to get back to the office. You all have my card if you need anything.”
I shook a few hands and then followed the concierge up the hill, past the green, and back toward the sloping lawn that led to the hotel entrance. All the while, my heart was pounding in anticipation as I scrolled through my phone messages, anxious about the news that was apparently too sensitive to text me.
If this was Cooper with more drama, I was going to wring his fucking neck. I had just pulled up a blank screen to tell him so when my phone buzzed in my hand. It was a message from Quinn with a single link, and I paused in my tracks to click on it and wait until it loaded.
A video of a pretty Asian newscaster came to life as I turned up the volume and followed the report.
“Shocking news today as Senate Majority Leader Caster Evans was arrested with several ounces of cocaine while in the company of a professional escort. All signs indicate that both parties were under the influence of the class-one narcotic when they offered the drugs to an undercover police officer at a party in upstate New York. The senator and his party representatives have refused to comment on the events of the evening. The escort, a woman by the name of Stella Malloy—”
A photo of a girl with dead eyes and an otherwise pretty face filled the screen, and I was overtaken by a stab of recognition. That girl had been sitting in our lobby not two weeks ago. Clearing my head, I tried to focus on the newscaster’s words again.
“—was also placed in custody and refused to comment. We have reached out to her employers, an escort company by the name of Forbidden Desires, but they have also declined to comment at this time.”
The clip ended, and I stared blankly at my phone for a long moment before it buzzed again in my hand. I clicked on the newest link Quinn had sent me.
Again, it was a video. This time a woman with enormous coiffed hair glowered at the camera as she screeched, her nostrils flared. A photo of Stella was embedded on the screen beside her.
“What sort of morality are we allowing into our city? This company—Forbidden Desires—claims that they’re an upscale escort service for wealthy men in need of dates, but let’s call a spade a spade, huh? This is legalized prostitution right here in Boston, and nobody is doing anything about it. And, if we look at the evidence, who knows what else they could be doing? We don’t know where the drugs came from that were in the senator’s possession. This Forbidden Desires place could be an underground drug ring, for all we know.”
I clicked off the phone and shoved it back in my pocket. I’d seen everything I needed to.
With news like this, we had to get ahead of the story—and fast. Which meant, as the face of the company, I had to get back to Boston and deal with the groundswell of outrage that was probably already threatening to beat down our doors.
In a daze, I made my way to the pool and spotted Emma with oversized movie-star-style sunglasses covering the majority of her face as she read a book with some guy with rippling muscles on the cover. She didn’t notice me until I was standing over her, covering her in my shadow.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, a concerned frown knitting her brows. “I thought you were going to be golfing all day.”
“I was going to, but something’s happened. We need to go back to Boston. Right now.”
“Is everything okay?” Her eyes went wide and her cheeks paled. “Are your brothers—”
“Everyone is safe and healthy, but there’s a business emergency. We’re going up to the room to pack. Let’s go.”
Without another word of protest, Emma gathered her things and followed me to the suite as I dialed the pilot to inform the jet crew to prep for the flight. When the arrangements were made, I shot a quick message to Quinn to let him know I was on my way, then considered doing the same for Cooper.
Why hadn’t he messaged me about this? Avoiding me over Emma was one thing, but this was serious business.
Shaking my head, I shoved my phone back in my pocket and opened the suite door to let Emma inside.
“I’m still mostly packed,” she said.
“Me too. The crew should be ready in twenty minutes.” I messaged my driver, then called the front desk to pick up our bags.
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