by Ruby Moone
Eyeliner and Lace
By Ruby Moone
Published by JMS Books LLC
Visit jms-books.com for more information.
Copyright 2019 Ruby Moone
ISBN 9781634869768
Cover Design: Written Ink Designs | written-ink.com
Image(s) used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.
All rights reserved.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Published in the United States of America.
* * * *
Eyeliner and Lace
By Ruby Moone
They day the rain broke the long hot spell, Ryan realised two things. Firstly, he was in love. He loved Jamie Holt with the whole of his heart. Secondly, he was losing him. He leaned his head against the cool of the window in the bedroom, fingertip tracing the raindrops.
It started a few weeks ago. Phone calls where Jamie answered yes or no and then hung up. Nipping out with no real explanation of where he was going. The small matter of changing the password on his phone. Not that Ryan ever looked, but…He rubbed at the pain in his chest. They’d clicked so immediately the first time they met, despite being polar opposites. Jamie was shy, reserved, handsome; Ryan was…not. Jamie was all but in the closet, Ryan was…out there. Perhaps it was only to be expected that the cracks would appear. That someone as amazing as Jamie would eventually want someone more like himself. He’d tried so hard not to let it punch him back to that agonising world of uncertainty that had been his life before Jamie. Tried so hard. But the evidence was undeniable. He wasn’t being insecure and neurotic, he was being realistic.
He moved and stood in front of the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe the electric blue streaks in his fake, white-blond hair had been a step too far? Short around the sides, the top was long, floppy, and now fabulously blue. Together with the eyeliner, it certainly made his blue eyes pop, but was it a bit much? Jamie had the most beautiful hair. Dark, mahogany brown. So soft and silky. It was everything that was respectable. Just like the rest of him.
He’d decided that morning that he needed a plan. He’d moped about long enough. A plan to show Jamie how loved he was. How much he needed him. He peered through the window at the sound of a car engine and smiled. Just the man.
He bounded downstairs a few at a time and opened the door. “Aiden!” He laughed and pulled the man into a huge hug and got one in return.
“Let me in before I drown.” Aiden shimmied past him to get out of the rain. “It’s vile out there.” He shook his head and sprayed drops everywhere.
Ryan ducked and flapped his hands before taking his coat. “Thanks for coming.”
Aiden shuddered and followed Ryan into the kitchen. “So, what’s the emergency?” he asked, rubbing his hands together.
“It’s a total emergency. Jamie’s going off me. I need help.” He switched the coffee machine on.
Aiden’s brows went up. He looked genuinely stunned. “What?”
“No word of a lie. I know it’s hard to believe, I mean…” Ryan gestured at himself and raised his eyebrows. He and Aiden had been friends since school. He loved him like a brother, but it was easier to banter than tell him how he really felt or let him see how heartbroken he was.
“Don’t be daft. Jamie adores you.” He frowned. “Where is he?”
Ryan raised his eyebrows. “You tell me.”
“I’ve no idea. I haven’t spoken to him in days. Ry, what’s going on? Why would you think he doesn’t want you anymore?” His dark eyes were serious. It made Ryan feel wobbly.
“He’s going off me.” He had to look away as he said it.
“Going off you? The last time I saw him he was plastered all over you. Trying to get to your tonsils.”
Ryan grinned at the memory. Jamie didn’t often go for displays, but when he did, he really went for them and blushed like a virgin afterwards.
“Yeah. He was.” Ryan shook his head. “But. There are phone calls.”
Aiden shrugged. “And?”
“Phone calls where he just answers yes or no. Like he can’t talk.”
“Not exactly conclusive evidence. Jamie’s not massively talkative.”
“He nips out and doesn’t say where he’s going.”
“Again, not exactly a crime.”
“He’s changed the password on his phone and his laptop.”
Aiden frowned. “You look at his phone and his laptop?”
“Of course not,” Ryan said, outraged.
“Well, how do you know the password has changed?”
Ryan sniffed and looked away. “Anyway. I’m not taking this lying down. He fell for me once; he can do it again. I’m going to woo him and win him over.”
“Woo him…” Aiden’s face was a picture. “What are you? Some kind of fricking Victorian mill owner?”
Ryan gave him the eye. “Woo him. I’m going to take him away for a weekend. Somewhere stylish and gorgeous, so I need a fabulous wardrobe. I need you to shop with me.”
“Okay. Where are you taking him?”
“Little boutique hotel on the east coast. It’s normality all the way, so I need clothes.” He hesitated, took a breath, then let it out. “Proper clothes.”
Aiden raised an eyebrow. “Proper?”
“You know what I mean.” Ryan rubbed his forehead and sighed. “I wonder if I’m a bit much sometimes, you know?” He flapped his hands.
“I don’t think he minds that.”
“I didn’t used to think he minded it, but the evidence is all there. I’m not going to ignore it and lose him.”
Aiden sighed. “Mate, he adores you. You are a bit much, but I think that’s what he likes about you. I really wouldn’t worry.”
“Are you in or not? I’ll spring for lunch.”
Aiden shook his head and smiled. “You’re nuts. I’m in. Early start?”
“Pick you up at half eight.”
They talked more, but about nonsense, and Ryan appreciated him not pushing. When he made to leave, he pulled Ryan into a hug. “You really shouldn’t worry, you know.”
“Thanks.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Once Aiden had gone, the house felt quiet. He put the TV on and picked up a thriller that Jamie was reading. He liked real books. Serious books. Ryan had an e-reader full of sexy romance. He put it down and went to the bathroom and peered in the mirror. He took a face wipe and scrubbed at his eyes. Without the eyeliner, they looked small and pale. He flattened his hair with both hands. The thought of real clothes, no eyeliner, and boring mousy-brown hair made him feel even more miserable. He wandered to the bedroom and pulled open a drawer. Inside were the silky black undies he’d bought. They even had blue lace to match his hair and eyes. They were probably a bit much, too.
* * * *
An hour or so later, the door slammed, and there was Jamie. He looked ti
red. His tie was loosened, and the top button of his white shirt undone. Rain curled the ends of his dark hair. They’d been living together for two months now, and it still made Ryan’s chest feel all achy when Jamie came home from work and smiled as though he was happy to see him.
Jamie shrugged wearily out of his jacket and hung it up, then, when he spotted Ryan, his face lit. Just as it always did. “Hey, you.”
Jamie held out his arms, and Ryan walked into them. They held each other tight, and Ryan kissed Jamie’s jaw. He was shorter than Jamie, skinnier, so he fit perfectly into his arms. He gave the best hugs. Hard, but warm and safe. All the craziness melted away when Jamie held him. Maybe things weren’t as bad as he thought.
“I’ve planned dinner,” he said, kissing him again.
Jamie nuzzled his neck and made a soft humming sound. “What’s for dessert?”
Ryan pulled back and smiled up at him. “Wait and see.” He gave him a suggestive wink, patted his backside, and set off for the kitchen with a swish. He glanced back to see Jamie checking his phone. When he noticed Ryan watching, he slid it into his pocket.
“Who was that?” Ryan tried to keep his voice normal. He opened the fridge door and concentrated on pulling salad things out rather than look at Jamie.
“No one.”
Ryan’s chest hurt. He paused and closed his eyes for a second before speaking again. Making sure his voice was even.
“Do you want to shower before dinner?” he asked while he organised the food on the counter.
“Yeah. Why not.” Jamie stood behind Ryan, pulled down the neck of his T-shirt, and nibbled the nape of his neck, sending shivers all over him as always. “Won’t be long.” He squeezed Ryan’s arse cheek and headed for the bathroom.
Ryan tapped the cucumber against his lips for a moment, looked at it, then shoved all the salad stuff back in the fridge.
He gave Jamie a chance to get into the shower, then ran up to the bedroom, stripped off, and followed him. The shower had been Ryan’s idea. A walk-in affair, definitely big enough for two. He watched Jamie. He was so beautiful it was hard to breathe. He had his back to him as he rubbed soapy bubbles over his chest, under his arms, around his neck. Muscles rippled across his back, and his backside clenched when he soaped further south. Ryan’s mouth went dry. He opened the door, and Jamie whirled around at the sound. He stared for a second, blinking under the spray, then the biggest grin spread across his face, and his previously flaccid cock perked up noticeably.
“What are you up to?” He reached out and caught Ryan’s arm, pulling him under the water.
“Thought we might start with dessert.” Ryan screwed up his face and then stripped the water away when the spray hit him. Jamie’s eyes were darker, taking on that predatory look Ryan recognised. The one that made him weak. He stepped closer, keeping his gaze fixed on Jamie, and tilted his head. Jamie’s hand went around the back of his neck as he pulled him closer, slanted his mouth, and kissed him deeply. Ryan moaned and put his both his hands on Jamie’s chest. His chest was a thing to behold. Ryan’s safe place. Broad, dusted with dark, manly hair between the nipples. Ryan’s chest had a smattering, but nothing like Jamie’s. He raked his fingernails down, and then pinched both his nipples. Jamie loved that. It always made his legs tremble and today was no exception.
Jamie pulled him closer until their bodies were flush against each other. Ryan’s arms went around his neck, and Jamie’s hands went to the soft swell of Ryan’s backside, pushing him tighter against his cock, rocking them together. Ryan’s legs trembled this time.
Jamie deepened the kiss even more, and Ryan was lost. Lost in the heat and warmth, the scent of the body wash Jamie always used, the heat and taste of his mouth, and the warm, wet scent of his skin. Jamie brought one large, strong hand between them and grasped both of their cocks, lining them up, caressing and teasing. Ryan’s legs almost buckled. Jamie knew exactly what this did to him, and when he started to pump them, Ryan tore his mouth away to breathe and then dropped his head on Jamie’s shoulder, letting the water pound his shoulders as the tension stretched every inch of him. No-one had ever affected him like Jamie. No-one had ever made him feel so unbelievably special and loved.
Jamie slid his other hand down Ryan’s back, letting his fingers drift between his cheeks, and when he pushed against his hole, Ryan’s orgasm tore through him, leaving him crying out and clinging to Jamie. Jamie’s body tensed as he shouted and came alongside him.
They leaned onto each other, letting the water pour over them, unite them, calm them. Jamie was the first to push away. He held his hand under the spray for a moment, then gently took hold of Ryan’s face, and kissed him.
* * * *
Ryan leaned against the counter in the kitchen, smiling. That’s what he didn’t understand. When it came to sex, nothing had changed. In fact, it only got better and better. Jamie came back into the kitchen, barefoot, wearing his old sweats and rubbing his hair with a towel. Ryan was feeling a little more confident after Jamie’s enthusiastic response in the shower, so he took a gamble.
“I was thinking. I’d like to take you away this weekend. I’ve found this fantastic little hotel, really cute and romantic.”
When Jamie didn’t respond immediately, Ryan went to the fridge and started pulling out the salad stuff again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jamie pause in the hair rubbing.
“Ah, it’s Mum’s barbeque this weekend.”
Ryan paused and put the lettuce on the board. He carried on carefully, trying to find the right words. “Do we have to go? The weather is going to be awful.” He started chopping it and dropping it in the salad bowl. “Didn’t you say it was only a maybe?”
Jamie didn’t reply.
“If this weekend is no good, we could do next weekend? Or you could ask your mum. She might not mind.” He hated feeling desperate. Hated that the old fears were flooding back.
“Okay. Maybe.” He sounded uncertain, and a frown dragged his eyebrows down.
Ryan carried on chopping salad vegetables and putting them in the bowl, and Jamie disappeared into the lounge. Ryan put the knife down and rested both hands on the worktop. His head hung low. He was right. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong. Jamie’s mum wouldn’t mind at all if they didn’t go. He was certain of it. The truth of it was, Jamie didn’t want to spend the weekend with him.
He pulled it back together and went to get the chicken from the fridge. He was chopping it up and putting it onto plates when Jamie came back into the room. He couldn’t look at him.
“You okay?” Jamie asked after a few moments.
“Yeah, fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
Ryan didn’t know what to say. What to do. “Just a bit tired, that’s all.” He gave him a bright smile. “Come on, dinner’s ready.”
They sat and ate the chicken salad. Jamie chatted about his day at work, Ryan told him about his day, and then they fell silent. Jamie kept sending him glances and Ryan kept pretending not to see them. They finished the meal, stacked the dishwasher, and Ryan got a cloth and scrubbed at the work surfaces.
“Do you want some wine?” Jamie asked.
Ryan shook his head. One whiff of alcohol and he’d be bawling.
Then Jamie said, “Can you put that down, I need to say something.”
Ryan’s heart squeezed so tight in his chest it hurt. He couldn’t breathe. Don’t say it, don’t say it. He closed his eyes for a moment and then put the cloth down and dried his hands on a towel. He rubbed his forehead and when he could procrastinate no longer, turned and looked at him.
Jamie was a little flushed. “I’ve been thinking about us, about our situation and it’s good but…”
“Do you want me to change?” Ryan blurted. “I’ve been thinking about it, too, you know, thinking that maybe I’m a little loud; a bit obvious, maybe. I could change, for you, I don’t think…” He was rambling and looking at the floor.
“What?”
&
nbsp; “I’m going shopping with Aiden tomorrow to see if I can get some more normal style clothes.” He gestured at the fuchsia pink T-shirt. “I could see if I can get the blue taken out, too. I suppose. If you wanted.” Ryan couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t bear the thought of what he might see. Words just came tumbling out.
“You’d change the way you look for me?”
Ryan snuck a look at him, he sounded so shocked. He didn’t look all that pleased. “If you want me to.”
“You shouldn’t have to change who you are to please someone. Do you want to tone things down?”
Ryan tried to lie, tried to say yes, but he couldn’t. The pain in his chest moved up to his throat, to the back of his nose, and before he knew what was happening, a big fat tear plopped onto his cheek. “I don’t want to, but if it means losing you…” He scrubbed at his cheek and sniffed. “I just love you so much. Loving someone and living with them is about compromise and give and take isn’t it, so I thought if you…If I…” He had to shut up or he’d really start crying. His chest was pumping, so he focused on calming down.
“You love me?” Jamie’s voice was hushed.
“Yeah.” Ryan nodded and glanced at him. Jamie’s cheeks were flushed. His eyes glassy, too. “I’m sorry, I should have said that before. Should have told you. I was a coward.” It was true. Every time he’d tried, the words had somehow got stuck,
Jamie moved closer, and gently took hold of Ryan’s hand. He stroked his thumb across the back.
“If I love you, and you love me, why do you think you need to change?”
Ryan shrugged and tried to stop his chin wobbling. “Because you’re going off me. You’re going to end it, aren’t you?”
Jamie pulled him ever so gently into his arms. “What makes you think that?” He murmured the words against his temple.
Ryan took a breath. “Sneaky phone calls, sneaky texts, won’t go away with me, and then you come home and say we need to talk.”
Jamie’s arms tightened until Ryan could barely breath. “Christ. I’m so sorry.”
His words made Ryan’s heart stop.
