by Sara Orwig
She stared into the black night and thought about moving to Houston. Was she going to a life that in some ways might be as solitary as Matt’s and never know what it was like to be loved completely by him? Never know fulfillment with him?
That first afternoon her relationship with Matt had leapt beyond casual because everything about childbirth was intimate. Whether they made love or not, she would always remember him, but did she want to go out of his life without ever experiencing passion with him?
Matt drove up to the back gate. As they walked to the house, he put his arm across her shoulders. “Lita’s got a long drive back to town. I told her to stay here tonight,” he said, “but Pete’s going to drive her home.”
“Good. I’m amazed she drives out here every day to work. Her baby is due Wednesday.”
“Are babies ever on time?”
“Sure. Julia was early, but a lot of them are on time.”
They went inside to talk to Pete and Lita. After Vivian paid Lita, she and Matt followed them to the back door to tell them good-night.
“If they don’t date, it’ll be a shame,” Vivian said softly. “Pete needs someone.”
“That’s your womanly need to match-make and see that every single male finds a mate.”
“Look at them. She needs someone and I think she loves him. He is one of the loneliest people I’ve ever met. He still gets tears in his eyes sometimes when he looks at Mary Catherine. A new baby in his life would be grand.”
“I’ll have to admit, new babies are special.”
“Only to certain types of men. It’s amazing people in two counties that you’re one of them. When you picked up Julia in Addie’s Grill and held her, I think half the women there fell back in love with you.”
“No one there was in love with me. Believe me. I haven’t had a date until tonight in so long, I can’t tell you when.”
“Oh, sure.”
Matt locked up and switched off the light. He put his arm across her shoulders and they walked down the hall to his door. One small light burned in his bedroom. He turned to face her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Vivian’s pulse jumped because he would tell her good-night and she was sure he would kiss her and she wanted him to so badly, she wasn’t sure she would wait.
“Julia has slept through the night now three nights this week. Maybe she’s going to again tonight.”
“I hope she does so her mom can.” His dark eyes had that intense, blatantly hungry look that made her feel he wanted her desperately and made her even more eager for his kiss. “It was fun tonight, Vivian.”
“I had a great time and the ribs were delicious. I haven’t been out like that in too long to remember. Thank you,” she said without thinking about what she was saying. “Matt, it was the most fun I’ve had.”
“I doubt that,” he said softly in a husky voice as his hands unfastened the ribbon that held her hair behind her head. He dropped the ribbon to the floor. “I think we can have a lot more fun now,” he added, his gaze lowering to her mouth. He leaned down and his mouth covered hers and she was lost.
She stepped into his arms, was dimly aware when he moved them both into his room and shoved the door closed.
“Matt, I have to hear—”
“The intercom,” he whispered, framing her face with his large hands, his gaze searching her face. “Vivian, I’ve waited.”
His words took her breath because she could guess the unspoken words he was telling her. Now was the time to love him or to walk away from him, and all the debates she had held with herself on long sleepless nights had to be decided in this moment. As black as midnight, his eyes had darkened with desire, and there was no mistaking their message.
She knew what she wanted and at this moment in time, it seemed right to tighten her arms around him and shift closer against him. Something flickered in the depths of his eyes, a certainty, a satisfaction.
He leaned down to kiss her throat, his breath warm against her while he trailed tantalizing kisses to her mouth. Kissing her hungrily, he placed his hands at her belt, tugging her blouse out of her jeans. He pulled her blouse free and unbuttoned it, pushing it away. Her heart pounded, her reserves falling away with her clothing. From that first stormy afternoon he had given so much to her; now she was going to give back to him.
His head rose and he looked at her.
“You’re gorgeous,” he said in a husky voice that made her tremble. He reached out to unclasp her practical cotton bra and push it away.
“Matt, I’m nursing now.”
“I know. You’re beautiful, Vivian.” He cupped her breasts in his hands, his thumbs circling her nipples. Sensation streaked from his touch, building fires low within her that heated and fueled needs he had awakened weeks ago. Vivian clung to his arms, the muscles taut beneath her fingers.
“Matt,” she whispered, his caresses as intoxicating as wine. All evening—no, much longer than all evening—she had wanted his hands and mouth on her, and wanted her hands on him. How right this seemed. Nothing about it could be casual. She framed his face with her hands, pulling his head up to stand on tiptoe and kiss him passionately, thoroughly, conveying her feelings to him the same way he was imparting his to her.
He groaned and pushed her away. “Let me love you, Vivian,” he said, stroking her breasts. “You’re beautiful. How many nights have I dreamed of you! I can’t tell you. I can’t work for thinking about you—” He broke off as he bent to take her breast in his mouth. Trembling, she closed her eyes. He made her whole again. She felt like a woman, desirable, needed, complete in his loving. Never once in her life had it been like this. Matt was doing everything he could to pleasure her, to heighten her passion. And he was succeeding. If only he knew, he was succeeding beyond measure.
His shirt had too many buttons and her hands shook. While he caressed her, she tried to undress him, yet his hands were a distraction that made her falter and hesitate. Finally she pulled the shirt free of his jeans and pushed it away, feeling his warm chest and broad shoulders.
When her hands slid to his belt, he groaned. She unbuckled it, sliding it through the loops and dropping it to the bare floor, the buckle making a clatter. She twisted the buttons of his jeans and he uttered a primitive growl. Watching her, he stepped back to tug off a boot. He balanced on one foot, pulling his boot free and tossing it aside, yanking away his sock. With his gaze riveted on her, he pulled away the other boot and sock. The moment he straightened she stepped forward, pushing his hands away as she finished unbuttoning his jeans.
He reached into his jeans to retrieve a packet that he tossed behind her on the bed. “I have protection.”
“I thought you might,” she whispered.
While his fingers trailed over her breasts, she pushed down his jeans. She hooked her fingers in his briefs and pushed them down, freeing him. He stepped out and she tingled, burning with need as she looked at his magnificent male body, his shaft hard, ready for her. She ran her hands across his chest, feeling his heart thud, trailing her fingers down across his flat stomach, down lower.
He inhaled, his fingers knotted in her hair as she stroked him and slid her hands over him, discovering the textures and shape of him.
“I bared myself to you weeks ago; now, finally, you will for me,” she whispered, kissing his jaw, his ear, caressing his neck.
His hands were everywhere and then her jeans fell to the floor and his hand slid over her bare hips. He stepped back to look at her again. Every slow, consuming look was a searing blaze that made her all but melt into a boneless heap.
He knelt, his fingers caressing her thighs, moving her legs apart. She gasped and clutched his shoulders.
He picked her up easily, holding her warmth against him, carrying her to his bed to lay her down. He climbed into bed beside her and moved between her thighs. They looked at each other. Her long hair spilled over the pillow and over her shoulders. She was naked, beautiful. All woman with all of a woman’s mysteries, yet she was also part of his
heart in a way no one else had ever been. She had changed his life, brought companionship and children into it, given him a new world with his reading. Now he wanted to pleasure and give and do anything he could for her.
As he bent to kiss her, he continued to watch her, trailing his tongue along her inner thigh, hearing her gasps of pleasure, and feeling her fingers winding and clutching. his hair.
All her attention was focused on his caresses, his hands between her legs. As he stroked her, she gasped and arched against him and he leaned down to kiss her while his hand caressed and rubbed and deepened desire.
She cried out with pleasure, her cries muffled. Beneath his touch she moved in a frenzy while she ran her hands over him. This was Matt making love to her, sharing with her another intimacy, and in that moment she knew without a doubt that she was in love.
There wasn’t opportunity to wonder about her discovery, to dwell on it. Thought had spiraled away on passion’s wild ride as she thrust her hips against his hand and moved, clinging to him and crying out while he took her to a brink.
She clung to his strong shoulders and then she pushed him back, her fingers closing around his hard shaft. He gasped and wound his fingers in her hair tightly.
She stroked him, moving down to take him in her mouth and kiss him, her tongue slowly curling over his thick shaft. Vivian wanted to explore every inch of his marvelous, virile body that she had looked at so many times.
Matt was on fire, his fingers locked in her hair. He wanted to pleasure her, but momentarily, he was lost in what she was doing to him. Deep down, he knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime moment. He had never wanted a woman the way he wanted Vivian now. Her touch was feather light, yet it burned to his soul. This woman was everything desirable. He felt a kinship with her that was unbreakable and he knew her better than any other person on earth because of what he had been through with her.
With a savage groan he came up and pulled her to him, crushing her in his arms as he kissed her.
He leaned over her, feeling their hearts beat together, kissing her while time vanished until she moved away, lying down and pulling at his hips to move him between her legs.
Trailing slowly over her, his gaze drank in her beauty. This night she was his woman. Her lush body was beautiful, pink and white and pale with the thick brown triangle of hair at the juncture of her thighs and her long, flowing brown hair spilling on her shoulders.
“Oh, Matt, come here,” she cried, locking her long legs around him. His heart pounded and he struggled to keep control of his own needs, wanting to give her more. He touched her between her thighs. Her eyes closed and she inhaled, her fingers clutching his thighs.
Matt stroked her soft flesh, feeling her moist and ready for him, listening to her cry out while she arched against him.
“Matt!”
He thought he would burst with the need that burned through him. He had dreamed of this, thought about it, imagined it for too long. He would take her to bliss and she would take him there, too.
Tonight was special; he knew that without stopping to think about it. Vivian was special. His lady, in his arms, beneath him, giving herself to him.
“Matt!” Her insistent cry fueled his blazing passion, yet he held back and stroked her and kissed her.
“Vivian, you’ll never know how much I’ve wanted you,” he said in a voice that was only a rasp. He picked up the small packet and removed the contents. She reached out to help him, taking over the task and putting the thin sheath in place while his dark eyes devoured her.
Vivian held his hips, her legs locked around him while she tugged him closer. He lowered himself between her legs and came down over her, a weight that she relished.
The tip of his shaft probed against her. She reached down to hold him and guide him, moving her hand away as her hips arched and she cupped his bottom and tried to draw him deeper. He slid slowly into her, filling her, driving her wild.
“Oh, please,” she cried, her hips thrusting against him.
Sweat broke out as he thrust slowly. She was tight, which surprised him. He slid into her, heard her cries, and he withdrew partially, then slid into her again in a long, slow stroke that made her gasp and arch against him and cling to him.
“Vivian, you’re mine now,” he whispered in her ear as he moved, knowing he was building the tension in her.
Vivian thought she would burn to ashes from ecstasy as she moved against him. She stroked his smooth back, her hands sliding over his bare, firm bottom down to his muscled thighs, which were rough with hairs curling against her hand. “Matt, Matt,” she whispered, relishing knowing it was him who was loving her, his body joined with hers.
Had they been rushing headlong to this moment all evening? How long had she wanted it before tonight? Why did it seem like forever that she had known him and wanted him?
She clung to him, holding him, stroking him, loving him while her body moved in a frenzy that grew more intense. He was holding back for her and she knew it was costing him. Yet she knew he was doing what he wanted and doing it for her, putting her first even in this when all else burned away except passion.
The climax burst in her, sensations blasting her, their union rapture. She heard him cry her name, felt him shudder as he pumped into her.
As they moved together, she was caught on the spiral again, tension racing in her, building to burst in another climax that he seemed as aware of as she was. They moved together and then slowed.
Matt gasped for breath, sliding his arms beneath her, trying to hold her as close as possible. “You’re my lady now, Vivian. Part of you is mine.” He showered kisses across her temple and stroked her hair away from her damp forehead. She was gasping for breath as much as he was and he could feel her heart thudding as violently as his own.
“It works both ways, Matt,” she answered solemnly. “Part of you is now part of me.”
“We’re as close as two people can get and it’s damned good,” he said with satisfaction. He looked at her and then leaned down to kiss her long and thoroughly.
He rolled over, taking her with him to hold her in his arms. “Aah, lady, you’re marvelous.”
His words thrilled her, yet even in the euphoria from their lovemaking, she knew what was missing. There were no words of love or commitment or anything beyond this moment. She closed her mind to that. She hadn’t expected promises or a proposal or vows tonight when he pulled her into his arms; she knew better than to expect such words from him now.
But she was in love with him. Her own questions about her feelings had been answered. Their union was more than physical as far as she was concerned, whether he viewed it that way or not.
She slid her hand over his shoulder, feeling the hard, solid muscle, touching his thick hair. Wise or hopeless, she was in love with this self-sufficient cowboy whose world was the opposite of the one she had always known. Since he didn’t feel the same as she did, she had some big decisions to make.
“Matt, I need to think things through—”
He touched her lips. “Shh. Not now. No intrusions on this night. Tomorrow will come, Vivian. We can’t stop it, but right now, take this moment. You’re my woman, in my arms. That’s enough. Right here in this bed, there are no barriers between us. They’re out there,” he said roughly, his voice becoming harsh while he looked at her solemnly. “They’ll fall into place when we get out of bed, but they don’t exist here. Take what we have and hold it tight right now.”
A knot closed her throat. He was everything she could love in a man. His words hurt because they clearly said he intended to continue his solitary life. If she tried to be practical, she knew he was right. There were so many differences between them—and she hadn’t thought that through—her heart hadn’t taken into consideration the differences. Matt spoke the truth—the barriers were out there, but not here in his arms. She would do what he was doing, seize the moment and shut out tomorrow. She tightened her arms around his neck and held him. “Come here, cowboy,” she w
hispered seductively.
He kissed her again and she held him tightly, relishing being locked in his strong arms, his body and hers together, legs intertwined.
When they stopped kissing, he shifted and propped his head on his hand to look down at her.
“Ah, Vivian, Mary Catherine was like a little angel dropping into my life that afternoon. She brought you to me.”
Vivian stroked his thick black hair from his face, trailing her fingers over his cheekbone, down to his jaw. “Well, you were Galahad dropping into my life that day. That’s for certain.”
“I’ve been called some things in my life, but I’ve never been called Galahad,” he remarked with amusement in his voice. “Some knight—a dusty cowpoke. You would have managed, someway.”
“I don’t think so,” she answered lightly. She stroked his shoulder, holding back words she wanted to say, knowing if she told him her feelings, it would be a wedge between them.
“I think you melted every bone in my body.”
“Let me check that out,” she said, squeezing his thigh, and he chuckled. “I can’t find anything soft.”
“You keep that up and I’ll be far from soft.”
Withdrawing, he shifted over her and scooped her into his arms. “Come here. If my tottering legs can carry us, we’ll shower.”
She laughed. “You don’t feel as if you’re tottering.”
After they finished washing, Matt switched off the water, toweled Vivian dry slowly, his hands sliding the towel over every inch of her with deliberate strokes until she was quivering with desire.
She took the towel to dry him, and all the while, his hands still roamed over her. His body was magnificent and she wanted to look and to touch him forever. Excitement coursed in her as he took the towel from her hands to toss it aside. He carried her to bed and moved over her, getting another packet. As soon as the sheath was in place, he slid into her.
