by Andra Lake
I nodded quickly.
“Who’s in charge?”
“You are, Ian.”
I felt him at my entrance and then he pushed inside roughly. With one hand he held the tie, and with the other he grasped my hip. He rocked back and forth, thrusting in and out of me, and I moaned, leaning forward onto my forearms and lifting my ass up to him.
“Fuck, Lex. I love how you act so sweet and innocent, but in reality you can’t get enough of me.”
I smiled, grateful that he couldn’t see my face. He had me down to a T. No one would ever accuse me of being a slut and yet here I was—ass up and begging Ian to fuck me.
“You’re a good girl,” he said between panting breaths. “You just want to make me earn it.”
I moaned in agreement. It was so confusing—when was I good, and when was I a slut? In this world was a slut a good thing? It felt like a damn good thing at the moment. At the moment I would do anything to get off.
“And I fucking can’t get enough of you. You can act as bratty as you want, I’ll keep punishing you until you admit you’re mine.”
“I am yours.”
His grip tightened on the tie, pulling my head back. He pulled out and then pushed his cock between the folds of my cleft, rubbing my clit, and I came, shuddering against his shaft. As my pussy clenched with the aftershocks of my orgasm, he reinserted himself and came as well, growling low in his throat.
Just as I was about to collapse onto the carpet, Ian picked me up and carried me to the bed. He held me against his chest with one arm while he peeled the comforter back.
“No bed,” I mumbled feebly and kicked my legs. “I won’t be able to get up again.”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest. “We’ll just rest for a bit. You won’t miss your classes, I promise.”
“I don’t trust you.” As soon as he laid me down, however, I rolled onto my stomach and moaned in ecstasy. Bed, glorious bed. Who knew sex could tire you out so much?
Ian slid in beside me and rubbed a hand along my back soothingly. “Yep. Definitely an addiction.”
I giggled into the mattress. “You’re a sex addict.”
“Only with you.”
I smiled, remembering our conversation in the library.
Ian adjusted his pillow, the mattress bouncing as he slid lower on the bed. “Rest for 30 minutes. Then you’re going to read me your poem.”
My eyes snapped open. Suddenly I was no longer tired. I was also incredibly grateful to be facing away from him so he couldn’t see my panicked expression. “I don’t have it with me.”
“Good try.” He slapped my sore ass and I cried out indignantly. “Your next class is writing. You telling me you don’t keep all your notes and essays neatly in a binder like you do for our History of Music class?”
“You’re a brute,” I muttered petulantly.
He snorted. “It’s not my fault your ways are archaic. Or that you’re so adorably predictable.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
When Ian woke me up to read my poem, he made me stand in front of his damn TV again. It was way more nerve wracking than playing “Smells Like Teen Spirit” too. This was my creation and a personal one to both of us. I was terrified he would read into it. I’d bared a lot to Ian, but I wasn’t ready to bare my soul.
When I finished reading, he exhaled loudly as if he’d been holding his breath.
“Lex, I’m really impressed. You have talent. That douchebag was right.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Is it really that hard to believe?”
“Not at all. I just didn’t know how much talent.” His lips twitched and for a moment I thought he was going to hold back, but Ian could never resist. “You’re a dark one, aren’t you? Did you used to be emo?”
Laughing, I hit him with my binder before putting it away in my bag. “I feel emotions intensely, okay? That’s why I’m a writer.”
“I get it. I get out all my angst by playing guitar.”
I bit my lip and slung my bag over my shoulder. Angst. Was that the right word to describe what my poem invoked?
“I’d better get to class,” I said, not looking at him.
“Hey.” He stood up and blocked my path to leave. “Everything okay?”
I hesitated, considering whether or not to tell him the truth. If there was a note of anxiety in my poem, it was because I was anxious. And reading my poem aloud to Ian had forced me to face that I really did feel these things.
We'd only been dating for a few days, but it felt like months. I wanted to tell him that I was worried I was falling too hard for him and that while I trusted he was into me too, I was also secretly terrified his interest would fade and he would grow bored with me. Especially if I continued to give him what he wanted. And what were we going to do at the end of the school year when we had to go our separate ways?
Ian put a finger under my chin and forced my head up to look at him. “Tell me what’s going on in there.”
No, it was too early for that conversation. So I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Reading the poem just made me think of my writing class and the poem I have to write Friday.”
Ian didn’t look convinced, but he released my chin. “I’ll see you in the seminar then?”
I nodded and tried for my best smile. “See you then.”
I didn’t sit with Jacqueline and Charlotte in my Astronomy lecture. Instead I picked an empty seat directly at the front of the class. I was determined to push everything else out of my mind and focus on my studies. Maybe if I could take a step back from Ian, I could control the rate at which I was falling for him. The sex certainly wasn’t helping in that regard—it was amazing and nothing like I’d ever imagined. When we were in that world, it was like we could read each other’s minds. As if we’d been doing it for years rather than simply experimenting with new things together.
After an hour of studying in the Science building, I arrived at our History of Music seminar a little late. When I entered the room, everyone stopped talking and looked at me. Ian was reclining in his chair dangerously, the front two legs off the ground. He grinned and pulled out the chair beside him. Mark had taken my usual seat across the table.
Professor Durst was always trying to get our group to interact like buddies rather than peers, and she loved playing the young prof that could relate to us. Today was no different.
“We were just saying we could all see it coming,” she told me with a knowing smile.
“By the way they were at each other all the time,” Stacy piped up.
Durst laughed. “Anyway we’re happy for you.”
Ian shot me a sexy smirk that melted my insides and brought forth memories of our sexcapade only hours earlier. If only they knew what we got up to together, his look said. Our dirty secret. Here we were, looking like such a nice young couple—so innocent and in love.
Ian kept his arm on the back of my chair throughout the entire class. Even though he wasn’t touching me, I could still feel him. At the end of class, it took all my willpower to turn down his invite to come over later.
“Been thinking about earlier,” he said, wrapping his hand around my ponytail like he had the tie. The memory made me instantly wet. “Stay at my place tonight.”
“I thought I’d go for dinner with the girls. Haven’t seen them since we told them.” I hadn’t even really seen Melissa. Last night I’d come home late from the library and she’d already been in bed.
“Fair enough.” He released me and kissed the top of my head. “My door’s always open.”
As he walked away, I sent a text to Lena, Melissa and Carly asking if they wanted to go for dinner at 5:30. Then I hurried to my writing class.
At the end of the school day, I was so exhausted I could barely climb the four stories up to my floor. Lena’s door was open at the end of the hall and as I neared my room, I could see her lying on her stomach reading a textbook. Hearing my footsteps, she glanced up and then grinned.
“Lex!”
she cried and rolled off the bed. “I’ve been waiting for you to get back. Ready to go?”
“Yep. Just let me switch bags.”
The door to my room was closed and locked. Strange. I fumbled around in my bag until I found my keys and unlocked it. Melissa was out, which was strange. She hadn’t responded to my text but I’d assumed she’d be waiting in the room. We never went for dinner before 6 p.m.
I quickly grabbed my purse and returned to the hallway, where I found Lena standing with Carly, Jill and Ling.
“They’re coming too,” Lena said, sounding slightly disappointed.
Up until now, Jill and Ling hadn’t paid Lena or me any attention. The best way to explain it was that we different types of girls. They had fake IDs and spent Friday evenings curling their hair and eyelashes and applying tons of makeup before dressing up in sparkly tank tops and short skirts and hitting the club. Hip-hop and rap was their music of choice and according to the guys, they referred to their half of the hall as the hot side. Carly’s room fell in the middle and like her room, she seemed to float amongst everyone, always being what they wanted.
As we walked out of the block and toward the cafeteria, Ling hooked her arm through mine like we were the best of friends. Her eyes were large and fringed with dark lashes, her hair shiny and smooth, her skin flawless. She was the type that made me instinctively nervous because she was just so perfect. Jill, on the other hand, had doe brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. Hers was a more natural girl-next-door look, her features soft and kind.
“I heard you’re dating Ian. That’s so exciting!” Ling gushed, squeezing my arm a little too hard. Jill followed alongside us listening in.
“Yeah.” I nodded, unsure what else to say.
“Well tell us the details! How did it happen?”
I glanced at Lena and caught her giving Carly a knowing look. Both of them smiled and looked away.
“It just sort of...did. I guess we started talking at the first lounge party and then found out we were in the same class and became friends. Then decided to date.” Man, that story sounded lame.
“Mm hmm.” Ling was frowning like she still hadn’t figured out the answer. “So you just became friends first and worked on projects together and stuff?”
“Pretty much.”
Her face brightened instantly. “Well I’m sooo excited for you two. And I want to hear all about Ian. What’s he like? The other day we watched the movie he was in, First Chance. Have you seen it?”
I was super relieved when we got to the cafeteria and I could get away from Ling and grab food. As I carried my tray into the dining area, Carly waved me over. She was sitting at a table with Melissa.
“Hey,” I said to Melissa as I sat down. “I was wondering where you went.”
She didn’t look up from her half eaten pasta. “Got hungry early.”
Jill and Ling appeared at our table at the same time and Jill quickly put her tray down beside mine, claiming the spot. Melissa slipped into an even darker mood. Carly glanced at her and then rapidly began talking about her day.
“So what’s he like in bed?” Jill whispered, taking her chance.
I smiled. Couldn’t blame the girl for asking. “Good. Really good.”
“You’re so lucky,” she sighed dreamily. “I’ve had a crush on him since the first day. Most of us have. He is so hot.”
I nodded.
“Everyone is talking about it,” she continued.
At that moment, Lena sat down on the other side of Jill. “Everyone’s talking about what? Ian and Alexis?”
“It’s the campus gossip.”
“Well someone isn’t too happy with Mini-me,” Melissa interrupted. She was slumped in her chair and staring straight forward. I turned in my seat to follow her gaze and my breath hitched. Vanessa was sitting two tables over. I smiled at her but she looked away.
My cheeks heated as I turned back around. There it was again: the guilt.
“Yeah pretty shitty deal for her,” Melissa said. “Sucks to have those rumors spread about you and then on top of it, the guy goes and dates someone else.”
I swallowed hard and stared at my food.
“It’s not Alexis’s fault Ian didn’t like Vanessa,” Lena said.
“No. I just don’t get why Alexis likes Ian.”
My head snapped up. “What do you mean?”
Melissa shrugged, and the hairs on my neck instantly stood on edge. I knew she was about to say something I wasn’t going to like. “I just don’t think it’s very cool you started dating that jerk. Especially after what he did to Vanessa.”
“What?” I looked to Carly and back at Melissa again. “Melissa the entire first month of school you were calling her ‘Blowjob Girl’ and talking about how stupid she was for putting herself in that position.”
“Now I think it was his fault.” She crossed one leg over the other and crossed her arms, evidently getting ready for a show down. “I also think you’re stupid for putting yourself in that position, and I’m not the only one that feels that way. Do you know how many girls Ian Crawford has gotten with? Carly was telling me just how big a player he is the other day, weren’t you, Carly?”
Carly’s face turned bright red. She looked like she wanted to crawl under the table.
Melissa turned back to me, smiling smugly. “We were saying he might be hot, but he isn’t interested in actually dating a girl.”
I raised my chin. “He’s dating me.”
If possible her eyes narrowed even more until they were angry slits. I could feel the resentment coming off her in waves. “For now. Until he gets tired of you.”
“Hey,” Lena cut in. “That’s not cool.”
“He won’t,” I said.
Melissa snorted. “What makes you so special?”
I ignored her comment both because I didn’t have an answer for it and because I knew if I focused on it for even a second longer, I might cry. As it was I felt my resolve breaking. “You used to like him. I think you just have a problem with me dating him.”
She rolled her eyes. “His ego is already rubbing off on you.”
I stood and shoved my chair back. My hands were shaking so hard, I knew I wouldn’t be able to carry my tray. So I just left it. I turned and stormed out of the cafeteria knowing full well it looked like I was throwing a fit, but knowing the alternative was worse. There was no way I was going to break down and cry in front of a hall full of people.
Outside I heard Lena calling my name and I stopped by a tree to wait for her. Somehow I felt more hidden there. People walked past, glancing at me questioningly or trying not to look at me at all.
“Are you okay?” Lena asked, catching up with me.
“I’ll be fine,” I muttered, wiping the tears from my eyes. “It wasn’t like Melissa and I were good friends or anything.”
“Don’t let it bother you. Vanessa is in the past.”
I nodded. I really didn’t want to drag out the conversation. Especially when someone walking by could overhear us “I’ll be okay. Really. Thanks for coming after me though.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“All right, I’ll go finish my dinner then,” she said but waited a moment in case I changed my mind. “Come to my room later if you want to talk.”
“I will.”
She gave me a tight hug and then returned to the cafeteria, and I headed back to my room, where I changed into my running clothes before hitting the pathways. Like before I ran the path along the woods and into the community of houses at the edge of campus, and then returned through Quad.
As I walked through the dark field and past the fountain, a smile tugged at my lips as the memory of the last time I cut through here at night after a run. I remembered lying on my back on the grass under the stars and Ian’s head appearing above mine, a grin on his face and his green eyes bright with mischief. I’d wanted him to lean down and kiss me. Instead he’d made one of his wise-ass cracks about me being on my back.
Warmth suffused my being as I remembered the way he’d walked me home and how determined he was to prove he wasn’t an asshole. Challenge Accepted. I giggled to myself.
Ian was a good person, I was certain of that. I couldn’t take away all the effort he’d made with me, and the intense feelings between us, just because of his past with Vanessa. Who cared what anyone else thought? It was Ian and me now. And as for what the future would bring…Well I would just have to take that risk.
When I got back to the room, Melissa was studying at her desk. She ignored me and I ignored her. I pulled out a large purse and threw everything I’d need into it: cosmetic bag, pajamas, clothes for tomorrow. Then I filled my messenger bag with books for tomorrow’s classes and left.
Ian pulled open his door wearing only flannel pajama bottoms. He crossed his arms and cocked a hip against the doorframe. “Miss Watson. I’m having a serious case of deja-vu.”
Last time he’d answered his door half-naked I’d also been coming to ask a favor, I realized. “Do you always hang around without your shirt on?”
“When I’m in my own home, yes.” He frowned, seeing right through me. “What’s wrong?”
“Melissa. Can I stay here tonight?”
“Sweetheart,” he said, putting an arm around me, “I’ll never say no to that.”
***
Things with Melissa only got worse.
At first she only freezed me out, which I could take. It was uncomfortable, sure, but I could put up with the heavy silence while I packed my books for class or got ready for bed. But then she upped the ante.
At first I noticed a few items of clothes missing and assumed that despite our differences, she was still going to borrow them. Then things started to move around my room. Textbooks, pens, you name it—I found them in the weirdest places. One Monday between classes I stopped by my room and finally exploded when I couldn’t find a pair of chucks for over an hour. When I finally found them, and realized I was late for class, I marched outside our room and wrote on the whiteboard: “Melissa, kindly stop putting my shoes in my desk drawers.”
Ian even tried talking to her about it, being her RC, but she turned the innocent act on in high force. She helpfully suggested that perhaps I was just overtired from all my commitments and had put the shoes in the desk myself. The next day she went out and bought a special shoe rack for me and put a little bow on it.
