The voices crashed around in my head like a storm. The sharp winter wind cut into my body.
“You could never be an author.”
“Readers betray authors.”
“You should write a novel.”
“You should someday, Konoha…”
No way! Stop it! I’m not an author! I’m not!
I don’t even want to write novels anymore!
Exhausted from running, exhausted from thinking, feeling several times that I wanted to just collapse on the ground, I finally reached the front of my house when—
I spotted something white at the edge of the tile-capped wall.
It was a scarf.
With the white scarf I’d given her coiled around her throat, Kotobuki held her schoolbag in both hands and stared ahead worriedly.
Kotobuki… what are you—?!
Had she been waiting here long?
When she saw me, her face cracked and she looked like she was about to cry.
“Oh, thank goodness… I found you.”
Her small voice set the cold air trembling.
Her eyes were filled with tears, and grasping for each word, it took everything Kotobuki had for her to speak.
“Inoue… you left so suddenly yesterday… and you were out again today… so I was worried. I’m sorry for coming… Akutagawa told me… that you were in pain, too, so… so I should wait until you found an answer… but you seemed to be suffering so much… I couldn’t just stand around… I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”
Then Kotobuki’s eyes went round.
“Inoue… why are you crying?”
When she asked me that, I realized I was crying.
My throat felt like it was going to rip open, my heart was full, my nostrils flared, my eyelids were fluttering, and tears were running down my cheeks in a steady stream.
“What’s wrong, Inoue? Did something happen?”
Kotobuki ran up to me, and half in tears herself, she wiped the tears from my cheek with a cold hand.
Her fingers were freezing when they touched my skin. She’d waited for me long enough that her skin had chilled this much.
My forehead wrinkled with suffering. My eyes watered, and she wiped my cheeks again and again. Even so, my throat wouldn’t stop trembling.
Sadness welled up in me.
“… Everyone’s… telling me to write a novel. Tohko and Ryuto both said I had to… and Mr. Sasaki, he used to be my agent, and he asked if I would write again, too… go back to being Miu Inoue…! But I don’t want to write! But still everyone is—”
My voice choked off, sobbing, as I spoke.
Kotobuki started crying with me.
She stood up on tiptoes, circled her arms around my neck, and squeezed me tight. Kotobuki’s tears wet my neck coldly.
“S-so then you don’t need to write. You don’t have to write anymore… I’ll like you even if you don’t write novels… I’ll stay with you.”
The hoarse words she spoke to me, her voice catching with sobs, gave me salvation like light shining through cloud cover.
The way she had given my spirit courage in an abandoned building lit by candles one winter.
Kotobuki had said that I didn’t have to write.
That she would be with me and like me even if I didn’t write.
She’d spoken with conviction the words I’d been wanting to hear this entire time, at rock bottom as I was.
That she liked me when I didn’t write—me, the commoner standing frozen before the narrow gate, the ordinary Konoha Inoue.
With straightforward, clumsy words.
I was ecstatic and reassured by that—Kotobuki had told me that through tears, and I adored her with all of my heart; she had set me free—
I hugged Kotobuki back tightly and continued to let my hot tears fall.
Finally we let go of each other shyly.
“Come to school tomorrow, okay?” Kotobuki said, her face crimson.
“I will. Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?”
“I’m fine. It’s still early. I-I’ll see you.”
“Oh, Kotobuki.”
I stopped her, then gave a small smile.
“You should come over again sometime. I’ll tell everyone you’re my girlfriend. Plus, I want some more of your lemon meringue pie.”
“O-okay! I’ll make you as many as you want, supersweet and sour.”
An exuberant smile lit Kotobuki’s face like a glow shining from within, and she ran off with a “see you tomorrow!”
I watched Kotobuki go with kind—with tender—feelings until I lost sight of her white scarf gleaming in the darkness.
When I went inside, my mom asked me all sorts of stuff about what happened yesterday. Why hadn’t I given her the phone number? Had I gone to school like I was supposed to?
“I skipped. I’m sorry.”
I hung my head meekly, and it seemed like she was so fed up with me that she’d lost the energy to scold me. She warned me not to do it ever again and that was it.
“We’re having dinner, so come down right away.”
“Okay.”
I’d been crying so much that my throat hurt and my eyelids were puffy, but my heart was clear. It was fine—I would be able to walk forward with Kotobuki now. Even if I was weak on my own, the two of us together could be strong.
As I was changing in my room, my cell phone rang.
I jumped at the solemn ring tone. But I wouldn’t get scared or run away.
“Hello?”
I put it to my ear and answered firmly. I heard a dark voice that seemed to run a hand down my spine.
“So Kotobuki’s gonna be a problem after all, huh?”
My mouth dried out instantly. Had he heard my conversation with Kotobuki?!
“If you don’t break up, I dunno what I’m gonna do. I might mess her up bad and break her.”
I am happy.
Yes, I should be happy. I’m surrounded by kind people, people I love with all my heart, and they love me. I’m so, so happy, simply happy, like I’m in the golden light of sunset—like I’m in a dream.
I’m happy, I am. Like a dream—yes, I am happy. I am happy, Takumi—very.
So then why does my heart hurt this badly? I feel like my soul is being torn to bits! I’m so anxious, as if I’m going to be swallowed up in utter darkness! I write and I write, but I’m sad?
Why? Takumi!
Let’s make a bet, Kana.
If I lose, you’ll never have to see me again for the rest of eternity. If that’s what you want.
The page has already been turned.
Soon “that which is superior” will begin.
Hello, Mizuki Nomura here. This is the graduation of the Book Girl series! This volume and the next, volume two, will conclude the series.
Konoha is getting run ragged all over. But I was afraid to write Ryuto any more ticked off. Originally I thought he was probably suffering more than any of the main characters, but if I wasn’t watching, he would try to go off in the most outrageous directions, so I was always pulling him back desperately, shouting “You can’t go that way!!” It looks like Konoha’s conflicts are going to continue in volume two.
The inspiration for both volumes is Gide’s Strait Is the Gate. The delicate emotions expressed by its clear prose make my heart ache. This book makes me feel incredibly restless and every time I reread it, a smokiness builds up in me that makes me feel dismal. As I turn the pages, I think “why?” and even after I close the book I go on thinking, “I wonder why that happened.” I can never forget it. It’s a work with that sort of seduction to it. You should definitely, definitely get your hands on a copy and read it yourself.
Changing the subject, wasn’t Tohko adorable on the cover of the special edition? I was captivated by Konoha and Tohko in kimono (à la Yuri and Akira), and Maki on the other side of them in the color pages. That was a book where I could physically taste my joy at having Ms. Takeoka do the drawings.
As
I wrote in the afterword of the first story, I’m always filled with anxiety when I start a series. I write each story, praying that people will read to the very end. That I’ll be able to reach the conclusion I pictured in my heart with the space I need to do it. I don’t care if the series doesn’t sell a lot; all I want is for it to keep selling well enough that I can get to my goal. So that I can tell the story right. That’s how I feel, so I’m truly thrilled that I’ll be able to bring you the last story next time with all the space I wanted! From the bottom of my heart, I thank every one of you who’s read this far!
The Book Girl comic serialization is starting with Gangan Powered in June, and there are plans for a short story collection and side stories, but the series will conclude next time. I hope you’ll come to watch what choices Konoha and Tohko make. See you!
Mizuki Nomura
March 27, 2008
Thank you for buying this ebook, published by Hachette Digital.
To receive special offers, bonus content, and news about our latest ebooks and apps, sign up for our newsletters.
Sign Up
Or visit us at hachettebookgroup.com/newsletters
For more about this book and author, visit Bookish.com.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Welcome
Color Insert
Prologue—Memories for an Introduction: What She Wished for That Day
Chapter 1—My President and My Girlfriend
Chapter 2—The Day You Betrayed Me
Chapter 3—A Very High Place Filled with Light
Chapter 4—An Author’s Lies
Chapter 5—The Morning of Good-bye
Chapter 6—The Two Stories of Death
Chapter 7—The Girl with the Violet Barrette
Afterword
Newsletters
Copyright
Copyright
Book Girl and the Scribe Who Faced God, Part 1
Story: MIZUKI NOMURA
Illustration: MIHO TAKEOKA
Translation by Karen McGillicuddy
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Bungakushoujo to kami ni nozomu romancier vol. 1
©2008 Mizuki Nomura. All rights reserved.
First published in Japan in 2008 by KADOKAWA CORPORATION ENTERBRAIN
English translation rights arranged with KADOKAWA CORPORATION ENTERBRAIN
through Tuttle-Mori Agency, Inc., Tokyo.
English translation © 2013 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Cover design by Kirk Benshoff
Cover © 2013 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Yen Press
Hachette Book Group
237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017
www.HachetteBookGroup.com
www.YenPress.com
Yen Press is an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Yen Press name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
First ebook edition: July 2013
ISBN 978-0-316-24598-2
E3
Book Girl and the Scribe Who Faced God, Part 1 Page 19
