by Melissa Hill
“I know what you mean,” Olivia said, as if sensing her discomfort. “When you’re so far away from home, I’m sure the grass can sometimes appear greener.”
Just then, the waiter came to take their order and as usual, Robin stiffened, dreading the drawn-out exchange to come and the usual accompanying frustrated looks.
“Hi,” she said, when he stood beside her, her complexion reddening slightly. “I’d just like to let you know that I suffer from a severe peanut allergy, and I’ll need to ask you a couple of questions about this menu. If I eat something with peanuts in it, I might die.” She smiled hesitantly at him, eager to get it over with.
To her amazement, the waiter smiled back. “That’s no problem, madam, my youngest suffers from the same thing. I know how careful you have to be.”
“Thank you,” Robin couldn’t comprehend the relief she felt. As the waiter went through the menu with her, she saw Matt watching her with interest.
“It must be tough,” he said, when the waiter had left the table. “Not everyone is as acommodating as that, I’d imagine.”
Robin nodded. “That was rare, to be honest. Usually when I’m somewhere I haven’t been before, they get very annoyed and frustrated. I don’t blame them, but it’s hard when you’re made feel like an over-hysterical fusspot. People just don’t realise, that’s all.”
Olivia smiled tightly. “It’s probably much easier in New York too. I’m sure they’re well geared up for that kind of thing.”
Again, Robin wished she wouldn’t be so nice to her. She almost wished she’d be frosty, uncommunicative, anything but the understanding, sympathetic Olivia she’d always been. After all these years, after everything that had happened, it just didn’t seem right.
“It is, when you know where to go. But, there are always risks.” She turned to Leah, anxious to change the subject. “Are you OK there, Leah? You’ve downed most of that bottle of wine yourself.”
“Why shouldssn’t I?” Leah slurred, her eyes glazed. “When issh my birthday?”
Olivia caught Matt’s eye. “Tell you what,” she said to Leah, “why don’t we just have water with the meal and then later we’ll have some champagne.”
“Champagne!” Leah sat up straight. “I love champagne!”
Sensing now that her drinking was a little bit more than just celebratory, Matt swiftly removed the bottle of wine and hid it under the table. He and Olivia exchanged worried looks. Robin was worried too. Leah was getting way too drunk way too fast.
“Where’sh the wine gone?”
“Don’t worry, he’ll be back with more in a minute,” Olivia soothed. “Oh, look, here’s our starters.”
Leah took a huge gulp of the water, and the table was quiet for some time while they ate.
Robin took only tiny bites of her food, the discomfort of the reunion with Olivia making her lose her appetite. Despite Olivia’s best attempts at being off-hand and friendly, there was a real tension between them. She would have to say something, but not here, not now and certainly not on poor Leah’s birthday. Anyway there were also certain things that Robin wanted, no, needed to ask.
The conversation became a little stilted and awkward once the introductions, and what could be considered their attempts at catching up, were out of the way. Matt kept up some chit-chat during the main course, which lightened the tone a little, but Robin was finding it very hard to relax and even harder to find things to talk about.
She wasn’t sure whether she should enquire about Olivia’s daughter as she had never seen the child, and hadn’t exactly been all that supportive when she was born. Mentioning Ellie might only bring it all back to Olivia, and simply highlight how terrible a friend Robin had been. She decided instead to concentrate on safer ground. “So how’s Kate getting on?” she asked. “Does motherhood suit her?”
“Kate told me and Olivia that she thinks you’re a bitssh, Robin,” Leah blurted, in a drunken, childlike tone. “But I think she’s a bitssh, so there!” She’d been drinking water during the meal, but everything she’d had beforehand was obviously still very much in her system.
Matt looked visibly uncomfortable, and Olivia looked as though she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. “Leah, don’t be silly,” she said. “I know you’re upset that Kate couldn’t come tonight but –”
“She wassh alwayssh horrible to you, Robin, wasshn’t she?” Leah went on as though Olivia hadn’t even spoken. “She was a bitssh to you, when we all knew it wasshn’t your fault.”
“Leah, it’s OK,” Robin began, “I don’t mind. Oh, look, here’s the waiter – let’s order dessert.”
Leah shook her head exaggeratedly. “I told her it wasshn’t your fault that you couldn’t come home, but she didn’t believe me.” All of a sudden, she looked distraught. “It wasshn’t your fault, Robin, I know that but Olivia didn’t want me to tell her, sshure you didn’t?” She reached across and grabbed Olivia tightly by the hand. Then she reached for Robin. “You two are my bessht friends, my bessht friends, I want you to know that.”
Matt stood up, evidently deciding it might be a good idea to give them some time alone. “I just remembered I have to phone Frank,” he said, taking out his mobile and waving it in front of the others as if to demonstrate.
“That’ssh OK, Matt, that’ssh fine, you’re my bessht friend, too,” Leah giggled at his retreat.
Olivia caught Robin’s eye. “Forget about dessert, I think it’s time we got you home, Leah,” she said.
Leah’s eyes widened. “Home? Will Josh be there?” she asked in a child-like voice.
“No, honey, Josh is probably fast asleep in bed,” Olivia soothed, obviously not knowing what to say. “Maybe you might see him tomorrow.”
Leah sniffed, as if remembering. “I won’t sshee him tomorrow – sshtupid bastard.”
Now she was making a scene, and Robin knew they had to get her out of there as soon as possible.
“I’ll take her back in a taxi, if you like,” Robin offered, after Olivia hurriedly paid the bill and the three of them joined Matt outside.
“It’s OK, I’m driving anyway,” Olivia replied quickly. “Can I give you a lift back to the hotel?”
“No, that’s fine, you guys go ahead – I can get a taxi.”
“Don’t be silly,” Matt piped up. “Sure, it could take you forever to get one, and once we’ve got Leah settled, it’ll only take us a few minutes to drop you into town.”
If Olivia was annoyed that he’d persisted, she didn’t show it.
“No, really, I’ll be fine.”
“Olivia, tell her.”
Olivia spoke quietly. “Robin, it’s no problem, although it might be a while before we get Leah sorted. She’s very drunk and I don’t particularly want to leave her on her own.”
“I could stay with her,” Robin suggested. As tomorrow was Sunday, her time was her own, and the next item on her publicity itinerary wasn’t until Monday. “I could keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t get sick or anything.”
“That mightn’t be a bad idea,” Matt said. “At least then you wouldn’t have to worry about her, Olivia.”
She nodded. “OK, let’s get Leah to the car.”
Sitting in the backseat alongside Robin, Leah wouldn’t stay still. Nor, to Robin’s discomfort, would she stay quiet. It was as if once the air hit her, she got another – giddier – lease of life.
“You know, I knew you two would be friendssh again, I just knew it! Thissh has been the best birthday ever – we’re all friendssh again now – and don’t worry about Kate, I’ll deal with Kate – she’ll come round, Robin, and it wasshn’t her fault that she didn’t know. She just thought you were being horrible to Olivia, by not coming home that time, but I knew you weren’t being horrible, Robin. I undersshtood why you didn’t come, and so did Olivia, didn’t you? We knew that you jussht –”
“How’s the shop going, Leah?” Matt asked.
“Fine, Matt, thanks very mussh for asking. You shou
ld come in and visit me soon – I’ll give you a free chocolate.”
“I’d like that – do you have any Turkish delights?”
“No, but I’ll do some sshpecially for you, if you like.” She giggled and whispered to Robin. “He’ssh very nice, isn’t he, Robin? Nicer than bloody Josh anyway, and do you know sshomething? I think he’s nicer than Peter too. There, I said it! He’s nicer than Peter because Matt would never, ever – ”
“Oh, is one of these yours, Leah?” Robin asked, as Olivia slowed and turned into the entrance of an apartment block, hoping and praying that Leah would stop chattering. She was covering some potentially dangerous ground here, and it could be very uncomfortable and embarrassing if they let her keep going.
“Yep, that’s mine, sshee that one up there? Josh didn’t care, but I wanted one with a balcony.” She sniffed, and suddenly her mood changed. “I have the balcony all to myself now.” She turned to Robin. “Why did he do it, Robin? Why did he break my heart like that? I gave up ssho much for him – I told him it didn’t matter that he didn’t want shhildren – if he didn’t want them, well then, that was fine, but then he goes and sshleeps with someone else. Why, Robin?”
“I don’t know, honey.” Robin knew that poor Matt was mortified. She was mortified for him and equally for Olivia – and indeed for poor Leah when and if she remembered all that she’d been saying tonight.
But, true to form, Olivia seemed much more worried about Leah than Matt’s apparent discomfort. She stopped the car and, having rummaged through Leah’s bag, got the keys to her apartment and let them in. She went on ahead to open the door and, as best he could, Matt helped Robin support poor drunken Leah as they made their way up the steps to her apartment. He gave her an embarrassed smile. “The poor crature – I’m sure she’ll suffer in the morning.”
“She certainly will,” Robin agreed, relieved that they’d finally reached Leah’s apartment. She followed Olivia through to her friend’s bedroom. The two were silent as they helped her undress, Leah mumbling all the time. “I knew we’d all be friendssh again.”
When Leah was safely tucked up in the bed, the two women joined Matt in the living-room.
“Is she asleep?” he asked, his face concerned, but also, luckily, a little amused by the situation.
Olivia nodded. “I think she’ll be OK now.” She turned to Robin. “Will the couch be OK for you? I think she has some spare blankets in the hotpress –”
“I’ll be fine – I’ll find them,” Robin interjected. “Look, it’s late, and you two need to get home. I’ll keep an eye on her, honestly.”
“Are you sure you don’t want us to – ?”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
Robin walked them both to the door, unable to understand why she felt so sad, and desperate to say something. But yet it wasn’t sadness, she decided, trying to read Olivia’s expression as she lost her nerve and said nothing other than goodbye. It was guilt, wasn’t it?
“So are you staying long or …?” Olivia ventured cautiously.
Robin shook her head. “No, I’m off to the UK on Tuesday, so I don’t know if I – ”
“I see,” Olivia nodded. “Well, the very best of luck with everything. I’ll be sure to pick up a copy of your book for Ellie.”
“Thank you.” Robin didn’t know what else to say, but still she knew that there was much, much more.
Matt gave her a quick kiss goodnight on the cheek. “Good night, Robin – it was great meeting you. Good luck with the book and sure, we might see you again soon.”
“Bye, Matt, thanks.”
Closing the door softly behind them, Robin could clearly understand why Olivia was involved with him. He was similar to Ben in a way – considerate, loyal, unselfish. They were both very lucky, but the big difference was that Olivia deserved someone like that in her life; she deserved someone who cared enough about her to understand her loyalty to her friends.
The fact that Robin, with all her faults, didn’t deserve a man like that was obvious, and something that, tonight, all Leah’s babblings had brought home even more.
53
Olivia was mostly silent on the way back to Lakeview in the car, her thoughts scattered as she kept going over the evening.
She’d handled it well, she thought. She’d been polite, friendly and gracious – despite the fact that she had felt totally uncomfortable throughout, and especially towards the end with all Leah’s gibberish.
Robin had been initially subdued and, Olivia thought, definitely uncomfortable too, but seemed to come out of herself after a while. With Leah getting so drunk, they had no choice but to slip into their old roles of looking after one another. Poor Leah, she would really suffer tomorrow, in more ways than one. Olivia knew that she’d feel awful about her drunken chattering, especially in front of Matt, although, in fairness, he had seemed to take it all with customary good humour.
She sighed inwardly. Seeing Robin tonight really brought it home to her that she’d have to let Matt into her confidence soon. It wasn’t fair otherwise. They’d been getting on extremely well lately and, luckily, Catherine seemed to be staying out of the way. Whatever problems she’d had with Olivia at the beginning, be it concern or jealousy, at least she seemed to have come to terms with it now. Matt had mentioned before that she was seeing some guy – probably the one that Olivia had seen at the house that morning a while back – so perhaps these days she was more interested in her own budding romance than about Matt’s new relationship. Olivia really hoped Catherine had laid off her and Matt for good, as she knew she couldn’t cope with the hassle and strain of it all. What was the point? She liked Matt – in fairness, a good deal more than just liked – but at the same time she knew that if the situation with Catherine became unbearable then she would have no choice but to end their relationship. Olivia had spent years pining over the loss of one man, one relationship, and she was determined never to let another man affect her life or indeed her sanity the way Peter had. No, this time Olivia was in control.
“Are you OK?” Matt asked softly.
Olivia jumped. She’d almost forgotten he was there.
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just thinking about Leah, that’s all. I’ve never seen her like that, Matt, and it worries me. She’s always been great at convincing everyone that she’s coping, that she’s getting on with it. Stupidly, I took that at face value, when I should have known that she was really suffering.” She shook her head. “I’m her best friend – how could I not have known?”
“Look, I don’t know Leah very well, but she does strike me as the type of girl who likes her independence. Yes, she’s upset over this guy now and she’s having a tough time of it, but that’s only natural.”
“I know, but I’ve never seen her so out of control.”
“It was her birthday – a big occasion and he wasn’t there to share it with her. Of course it would affect her – it would affect anyone. I remember after Natasha died I went completely off the rails on what would have been our fifth wedding anniversary. I couldn’t cope. I drank solidly the whole day long, trying to shut out the pain and the memories. It was a nightmare.”
“I know.” Olivia did know, but unfortunately she never had the luxury of going off and getting blotto whenever a meaningful birthday or anniversary came round to mock and remind her of all that she had lost. She had Ellie to look after.
Still, looking at it from that point of view, it did explain why Leah seemed so out of it. This time last month, her life was wonderful – she’d achieved her lifetime ambition, she had a man who loved her, and the promise of an exciting future. Now, things were looking a whole lot different and, while her professional life still looked promising, her personal life was in tatters. Olivia felt for her, and made a mental note to be there as much as she could for her over the next while, seeing as Kate didn’t seem to be prepared to do the same thing. She knew Leah was suffering over that too. Once Kate became pregnant and now, since she had her baby, the friendship was sl
owly but surely slipping away.
Matt looked sideways at her. “Robin seems nice.”
Olivia stiffened. “She is,” was all she said.
“There’s a bit of history between you two then?” It was a statement rather than a question.
She shrugged, not really wanting to get into it just then. “We were close in uni, but we lost touch when Robin moved to the States.”
“So, tonight really was your first time seeing one another in what – seven years? And you didn’t keep up contact in the meantime?” Matt was amazed. “No wonder there was tension.”
“Did you think there was?” Olivia was worried now. She thought she’d played it to perfection. Was Matt now saying that she’d failed?
“Well, I thought she seemed a bit edgy, but I could have been imagining it.” He seemed to pause intentionally, before adding “So Leah, in her own way, was hoping to be peacemaker then?”
“Peacemaker?”
“Well, I didn’t really understand most of her gibberish, but she kept repeating that stuff about you all being friends again and how this Kate thinks Robin’s a ‘bitssh’,” he mimicked good-humouredly. Then his tone grew more serious. “It doesn’t take a genius to work out that she wasn’t there for you when Peter died.” Matt shook his head. “That must have been tough. Or …” he hesitated, “is there more than that to it? Did Robin–”
“What? What did you say?” Olivia cried, then slammed down on the brakes and swerved as a car pulled out of a parking-place on her left. She had all but hit it.
“He was indicating,” said Matt mildly.
Olivia didn’t answer. It was as though every muscle, every tendon in her body had all at once tensed to breaking-point, and she felt as though a herd of horses had just trampled over her stomach.
