He always found her.
Like some annoying heat seeking missile.
“What talk?”
Chapter 4
Lena’s stomach did the same flip flop it always did, whenever he was in the vicinity.
Even after all these years.
Every time she saw him.
Just like the first.
Her conflicting feelings for Ty was a full time job.
The insanity of emotions she controlled on the regular for Danny Blake?
Triple fucking overtime.
If she were honest, she’d admit he was the reason she could never keep a relationship for long.
Every person you’re with comes up short.
Every man is a reminder of the one you don’t have.
Every second is torture.
And that much harder to want to stay.
But she couldn’t say that out loud.
Not to Reese. Not to anyone.
Not even to herself.
It would be too honest.
She was so loving the denial thing right now.
Yeah.
Denial worked for her in amazing ways.
It made her put her feelings for him in a little box. To be filed away for a later date. Right along with whatever the fuck was going on between her and Ty. Which needed to stop too.
Dammit.
It was confusing the fuck out of her.
She didn’t like being confused.
Clueless, she could deal with.
Repressed…tightly strung…she could work out.
She hated confused.
Speaking of confusion…
She knew there should be none.
At least where Danny was concerned. She thought some time ago there might have been something. Was sure she felt a connection. Positive he might have felt one too.
But he made it all so simple, right?
There was no room for error, or mistake.
He made his choice, years ago. Which basically dictated hers. He was married. Unavailable. Hands off.
Not that she gave a fuck about a ring, truthfully.
Her ginormous ego simply refused to be an afterthought.
Coming in second to some other bitch?
Not an option. Lena came in second for no one.
Not even Danny Blake.
But sweet Jesus, he made it incredibly fucking tempting to break every one of her rules.
“Speak of the devil.”
Ty gave a nod to Danny, walking up to the bar.
“What up, brother.” He lifted his drink.
Danny nodded his greeting. His eyes focused on her.
Lena blinked at Ty. Deliberately not looking at Danny.
“No. Actually we weren’t.”
“No, actually we weren’t…what.” Ty sounded casual.
His attempt at being ponderously obtuse didn’t fool her.
She knew he was up to shit.
“No, actually we weren’t…speaking of the devil. Or Danny.”
She was carefully neutral.
Glancing at Ty with an indecipherable expression.
“Same difference, right? I kid. But real talk, though. You didn’t ask me where Danny was? Sorry. That’s my bad, I guess. Thought you did.”
He grinned, tossing back his vodka tonic.
He knew what he was doing, apparently.
What she couldn’t figure out was why.
“You were asking about me, L?”
Danny was the only one who ever called her that.
Her pussy’s engine began to start.
Purring softly with pleasure.
Get your life together, tramp.
“Oh. Yeah. I’m sure...I mean. Yeah. Of course.”
She gave Ty a pointed look. Which he ignored.
“You know I always like to hear how you and the rest of the guys are doing. My brain’s asleep or something.”
Her words were rushed...breathless.
“Well what are you waiting for? Give me some love, girl.”
She reached up, giving him a hug.
Carefully maintaining her distance.
His head bent down. Lips feather light. Grazing the sinuous skin of her collarbone. She always did feel like silk.
Her soft curls skimmed Danny’s lips.
Tickling as he closed his eyes.
He inhaled the sweet, fragrant peach blossom scent of her shampoo. Teasing, taunting his senses. He held her for a moment. Just a bit longer than he should have.
Almost like he never wanted to let her go.
When he opened them, Ty was staring at him.
As usual, taking everything in.
Silent.
Observing.
Knowing.
Danny started to give her a kiss on the cheek. Lena backed away, instinctively into Ty’s chest. His veined, sinewy hands surrounded her hips. Seemingly without thinking.
Almost protective in stance.
Possessive, even.
The action was duly noted.
Danny stared at those hands, his hands, for what seemed like an eternity. He raised his eyes. Locking with Ty’s.
Something silent…and unspoken passing between them.
He’d be a fool not to see the currents of electricity existing between her and Ty. Even if she didn’t.
Or wouldn’t.
Ty knew the same thing about Danny.
Had known for years, the way Lena felt about him.
Even when she didn’t know it herself.
She never seemed interested in bringing it to the sharing circle. Which was odd for two people who talked extensively about everything else. But she never offered.
He never pressed. Considering his own secrets, even he didn’t have that kind of nerve.
Life went on.
Lena didn’t notice any of this.
She was busy watching Danny. Still close enough to touch.
She looked at his cheekbones. Shadowing the dark hair falling forward.
She smelled his scent. Masculine and uninhibited.
Speaking of forbidden promise. A hundred taboo fantasies. Brought to life.
Like a gazelle being stalked by a large, hungry cat, her instincts told her she was in danger. She needed to run.
Now.
From the feelings he made her feel. From the chaotic madness she struggled to maintain, when he was near.
From the way her heart almost exploded in her chest, whenever she so much as tasted his name on her tongue.
Only then did she realize she was trapped between both men. Only then did she comprehend where Ty’s hands were.
And had been for some time.
Only then, when she felt a warm flush heat her face, was she aware of him. Carelessly rubbing her thigh.
It was useless to even try and get away.
Danny wanted to rip Ty’s hands off her body.
He knew it shouldn’t matter to him what they did.
But it mattered. Oh, did it matter.
Why should it? Aren’t you a happily married man?
Happy might be overkill, but that was the phrase used for the press. The one that kept them the fuck out of his business.
He was the private one. The rock star who actually shunned the attention and fame. Always the one least likely to be in front of the camera.
He left the limelight to Tyler and the rest of the band, preferring to be behind the scenes. Where it was safe.
Where he could always escape into anonymity. Where he could hide from the deception that was his life. It was just that every so often…the lies he lived with every day, became almost impossible to take.
His bid for obscurity was successful, to some degree.
As with most elusive, reluctant, rock star types, the press and the fans chomped at the bit constantly. Someone always wanted a peek inside as to what made him tick.
A reporter sarcastically nicknamed him “The Dark Prince.” The name stuck.
Lena never judged him, though. Sh
e always seemed to know him. From day one. Saw to the heart of him.
Without him ever having to explain.
She had an uncanny knack for knowing what to say to him at just the right moment. Keeping him sane when all he wanted to do was smash something, or someone.
Destroying everything in his path.
One glance. One smile from her at press time, helped him not always be so inside of his craziness.
Where he was one step away from screaming at the room and everyone in it, to leave him the fuck alone. But you don’t do any of that, of course. Not after you work so hard for the limelight.
Not when, in an instant, you could lose it all.
After all, he asked for the fame.
And everything that came with it.
Didn’t he?
Danny knew it did no good to moan and complain.
No one wanted to hear the rich and famous bitch.
Certainly not about being rich and famous.
So he dealt in silence.
He saw her, as well. Knew the drive she had to succeed. He knew she was spoiled, self-centered and had one of the worst tempers he had ever seen. Besides his own.
She had absolutely no patience to speak of. If there was anyone who sought to please themselves first, she was it. He knew her ego was six times the size of the earth itself.
He adored everything about her.
He knew she could be cheerfully ruthless. Cutthroat even, when it came to getting what she wanted. Not thinking twice. For him, that only added to her appeal.
He couldn’t stand a woman insecure in herself.
Or her sexuality.
For her, that was never an issue.
He also knew she was as loyal as a pit bull when it came to the ones she loved. She wouldn’t hesitate to “take care” of a problem, should someone decide to become one.
She made no apologies.
Danny wanted her. Had always wanted her.
With an ache and need bordering on obsession.
Every ounce of him craved her.
She was his one weakness.
His one addiction, he was never able to get clean of.
She was as necessary to him as the air he breathed.
All of this he kept from her. And from everyone else.
To know he could never have her, was a parasite. Tearing apart his insides.
Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Second by second.
Misery was a fucking bitch. A demon, gorging on pain. Feasting on despair, with great pleasure and satisfaction.
Sometimes, he was too tired to fight.
So here he was. Without her.
Married to someone else.
What he wanted, what he needed, who he loved, didn’t mean dick shit. Not as long as he wore that bitch’s ring.
Sometimes, it was nice to pretend.
Pretend he and Elizabeth were happy.
Pretend for the first time, things were ok.
Pretend he hadn’t managed to fuck up the only good thing in his life. Pretend he didn’t feel like he was drowning all the time.
Pretend Elizabeth didn’t exist. Pretend he never met her. Pretend he had just waited and met Lena first. So the rest of his life could begin.
Pretend he never thought he loved her. Even for a minute. Because he knew now what love truly felt like. Pretend he never agreed to this stupid farce of a marriage in the first place.
Pretend she didn’t know what she knew.
Pretend he had some way, any way, out of this charade other than the one that would destroy everyone he cared about. Pretend he didn’t care the woman he wanted, was within arm’s reach. But never further away.
It was a nice fantasy.
But it was just that.
Fantasy.
In the real world, reality was a shot of battery acid.
Burning his veins. Scraping his insides raw.
He was married to a woman he hated.
And he had no one to blame but himself.
But enough of the pity party. Didn’t change a solitary thing. It wasted the time he managed to have with Lena, if only for a little while. He learned to treasure even the passing moments. These days, it was all he got.
Even if he had to stomach Ty to do it.
Who continued sitting there. Looking smug.
Remaining unmoved behind her.
When she leaned back into him, her familiarity with him was evident. Touching him seemed natural.
With Danny, every careful touch, every connected breath. Always seemed like it caused her physical pain.
He ordered a scotch and soda, sitting down at the bar.
It was what it was.
“So…hey.” His voice casual.
“So, hey…right back.” Her voice low. Hesitant. Sensual.
“It’s been a while, right?”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
She looked into the grey storm of his eyes.
Becoming a little lost.
Ensnared by a man’s cornea.
How pathetically stupid.
“I’ve missed you.”
He looked back at hers.
Noticing the golden flecks dancing in them.
She gave an uncomfortable laugh.
“Did you. Why is that?”
“Of course. I always miss you when I don’t see you.”
He missed her now, and she was right in front of him.
“Oh. Well it’s nice to be missed. I guess.”
Silence. Awkward.
“How’s Elizabeth?”
Your wife.
That part unsaid. Unnecessary.
“She’s fine. Never better, I guess. How’s Jason?”
She cleared her throat.
“Not here. We um. Broke up.”
Two sets of eyes on her. Another awkward silence.
“I see.”
“What do you see, Danny?”
Lena inclined her head in his direction. Her voice deceptively indifferent.
Then another female voice. Distinctly heard.
“Yes, Danny. Do tell. I’m sure we’re all ears.”
Elizabeth walked up behind him. Wrapping her hands around his waist. He stiffened.
She ignored him, turning his head. Deliberately kissing him on the lips. She smiled at Lena.
“So. What exactly were you discussing with my husband?”
Chapter 5
Of course Elizabeth was there.
She never let him go far.
Too much like him having a real life.
Oh my…snarky much?
Lena plastered the biggest, phoniest smile she could muster. Holding up her glass in greeting.
“Elizabeth. I was just asking about you. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.”
“Oh, you know me. I had to see what all the buzz was about. I heard you got a new club and revamped the place.”
Elizabeth reached to touch Danny’s face.
He turned and abruptly stood. Rejecting her caress.
“I need some air.”
Danny excused himself, heading for the door.
He needed to clear his head. Being near Elizabeth suffocated him. Her muddied, tarred energy, was cloying.
Her gravity pulled him to a dark, twisted place. A place that was ugly and mean. Cruel. He hated who he was around her. Didn’t like for others to see it, either.
He could barely stand being near her. Let alone touching her. Worse…her touching him. Her very presence made him physically ill. It was best he did walk away. Before he said something he regretted.
Or worse, something he didn’t.
He and his thoughts needed to be alone for a while.
Lena watched him leave, glancing at Elizabeth. Who seemed smugly satisfied to get a rise out of him.
She sighed, shaking her head.
Such a simple, basic bitch.
Simple bitches always gave her a migraine.
Elizabeth looked around disdainfully, as if she stepped in something
sticky.
“Nice place, Lena. It must have cost you all of your food stamps to pay for this spread.”
Lena heard Tyler inhale a shocked breath behind her.
She on the other hand, wasn’t all that surprised.
Elizabeth was never too fond of her.
She seemed the type never fond of anyone not her shade of porcelain. But that was just Lena’s suspicion.
What did she know.
She also suspected Elizabeth hated her for a much deeper reason. Which she could only partially understand. In the end, she got what she wanted, didn’t she?
She got the fame, the rock…the man.
Trailer park, she noted, never lacked for nerve.
Lena smiled sweetly at her.
“Thanks, Elizabeth. Ever since your mom got fired from the stripper pole for having too many stretch marks, she can’t loan me money like she used to.”
Ty snickered. Lena elbowed him in the ribs.
“What?” Elizabeth sounded confused, trying to hear Lena over the loud music.
“Um. What?” Lena sounded equally as confused.
“What did you just say?”
“Oh…I said hole. Gaping hole. I thought I smelled smoke and hoped there wasn’t a fire. Otherwise it might leave a large gaping hole in my kitchen. Like the size of your vagina.”
Ty spit out his drink.
“Jesus, Ty. Do you have to be so sloppy all the time?”
Lena grabbed a napkin, blotting the bar.
Elizabeth still looked genuinely puzzled.
Not that this was a difficult place for her to be.
“The size of my what?”
“Aunt Jemima. I was thinking out loud about pancakes. I’m kind of hungry and wish I had some. A whole lot of them. With lots of butter and Aunt Jemima syrup. My favorite kind.”
Lena checked her phone, furiously texting someone. Who exactly, remained a mystery. Even to Lena.
Elizabeth looked mollified for the time being.
“Oh. You might want to watch that. I mean with your hips and all.”
Elizabeth almost sounded sincere. “Is she a relative?”
Ty snorted.
“Aunt Jemima? Oh yeah…absolutely. My mom’s great aunt, actually.”
Lena gazed warmly at her. Wondering how many pieces she could chop her skull into.
With a machete.
“It’s how we amassed the family fortune. By the way, speaking of family, is your dad still fucking goats?”
Give and Receive: Books 1, 2, 3: An Interracial Menage Rock Star Romantic Series Page 3
