by Aven Ellis
“Okay. I should dial it back. And now when I want to do that by spending an evening at home with you, you won’t let me?”
He does have a point.
“Let me make sure I have this right. You want to eat pizza, drink champagne, and watch awful countdown to New Year’s Eve shows with me?” I ask.
“Yes.” Matt flashes me that sexy smile. “As the first step of the image rehabilitation program you apparently think I need.”
I can’t resist him.
I should.
Nothing will ever happen between us. I’m only indulging in my ridiculous crush by letting this happen.
I’m going to start falling for him.
I’m going to get hurt.
But one look at that smile, and I know what my answer is.
Dear Brain, I know this is completely illogical and I’m setting a bomb to go off in my face later, but I’m lighting the fuse. So shut up. Sincerely, My Heart.
“Okay,” I say. “Yes. Let me bring you over to the boring side.”
Matt flashes me a huge grin. “The boring side. Sounds very dangerous.”
“Oh, it is,” I say, smiling back at him. “But I have to warn you, being boring is an addiction. You get a taste of it, and then all you want is the pizza app on your phone and the remote. And before you realize it, you can’t wait to get home and put on your Ravenclaw T-shirt and striped socks.”
“Raven what?” Matt asks.
“Harry Potter,” I say “Wait. You’ve never read Harry Potter, have you?”
Matt shakes his head. “I shouldn’t say this to an author, but I’m not much of a reader.”
“Matt! You have to read Harry Potter. Those books changed the direction of my life,” I say passionately.
“Like The Kama Sutra changed mine?” Matt asks, cocking an eyebrow.
Sex. Exploring sexual positions with Matt. My face grows hot. I can’t even imagine what that would be like.
He bursts out laughing. “I’m kidding, kidding! Please don’t take that seriously. I’m sorry.”
I blink. Right. Of course. Matt would never want to try sexual positions with me.
Or sex with me.
Besides . . . I’m a virgin.
My brain snaps back to reality. We’re having pizza. A drink to toast New Year’s Eve.
That’s it.
If Matt wants to explore Kama Sutra, he’s not going to do it with a girl who told him she loves being cozy with striped socks.
I’m an idiot.
So much for graduating with honors from Northwestern. Academically, I’m smart.
But in real-life, I’m scoring a big fat fail.
“Okay, let’s get our party started,” Matt says, taking a sip of water from the bottle he’s holding. “How long do we have to stay here?”
Then he pushes back the sleeve of his crisp white dress shirt to reveal a huge silver Tag Heuer watch.
Oh God. What is it about the white dress shirt and designer watch combo that is so freaking hot?
“It’s early. Only eight.”
“But I’m exhausted,” I say, which normally isn’t a lie after one of my attacks.
Of course, right now, every nerve I have is on fire, and all my senses are acutely aware I’m going to be spending time alone with Matt. So to say I’ve found my second wind is an understatement.
Matt pulls his sleeve back down and glances at me. “Right. Very exhausted. Time to call it an early night.”
“And I feel a headache coming on,” I say, continuing to develop this fabrication. “I need Advil.”
“So while you go home to sleep, what am I going to do?” Matt studies me. “You know everyone is going to expect me at Harrison’s house later.”
Shit. I didn’t think about that. Harrison is the captain. Everyone is going to this party. And I know from private things Nate has told me, Matt’s partying lifestyle is rubbing some people in the organization the wrong way.
Including the captain.
“Oh, Matt, you have to go to Harrison’s,” I implore him. “That’s too important to miss.”
I spot Harrison and his wife, Kylie, next to the fireplace. They are talking to Niko Xenakis, the TV producer, and Lexi. No. Matt has to go to Harrison’s house to prove he’s a part of the team off the ice, too.
Matt turns and follows my gaze over to the ginger-haired captain, who is smiling easily in conversation.
Matt turns around, his jaw set. “No.”
“Matt!” I cry. “You can’t miss it. You absolutely can’t do that.”
“I’ll be right back.”
“Please don’t do this,” I say, placing my hand on his arm to stop him.
The second I touch him, our eyes meet. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I feel nothing but a combination of exquisite fabric and strong muscle, and all I know is I don’t want to let go.
“Do you trust me?” Matt asks.
I know what the academic girl who has ruled my life would say. The girl who researches and plans and plots her books meticulously so no errors pop up in the process. Who has studied the best way to publish, the best way to create a social media presence, the best way to avoid costly mistakes, wouldn’t trust Matt.
“Yes, I do,” I say, ignoring my academic voice and answering with my heart instead. “I do trust you.”
“I’ll be right back.”
I watch as Matt heads across the room and walks straight up to Harrison. My heart is hammering inside my chest as he talks to them, wondering what he is saying. Harrison glances over at me, and suddenly I know I’m part of his excuse.
Matt comes back. “Done.”
“What did you say?”
“I told him you weren’t feeling well, but I didn’t want you to spend New Year’s Eve alone. That I’m sorry to miss tonight, but I wanted to keep you company for the holiday.”
My romantic plotline goes up in smoke, and, for some insane reason, his words hurt my heart.
“Oh,” I say, nodding.
Of course he’s going to keep you company, my brain tells me. He’s always been sweet to you. Matt isn’t going to let you sit by yourself at home on one of the biggest holidays of the year.
I swallow down the crushing disappointment I feel. Okay. My dumbass heart is no longer in charge tonight. It obviously only understands fictional romance. Therefore I’m ruling that my heart only speaks when it involves Calla, my fairy princess, and Heath, her dragon slayer true love.
“What’s that look for?” Matt asks.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Why do you look sad? I told you I got out of it.”
“Well, to babysit me,” I blurt out.
Shit.
“Holly, I’m not babysitting you. Didn’t I tell you that on the patio? I don’t want you to be alone, that’s true, but more to the point, I want to be with you.”
I search his eyes, and I know he’s telling me the truth.
“Are you sure you studied English at Northwestern?” he asks. “Because you don’t seem to understand my language at all.”
A sexy, curved smile tugs on his full lips, and my heart leapfrogs over my brain and takes control again. I love the way he teases me.
My heart is going to speak Matt’s language.
And I’m going to let my heart stay in charge for the rest of the night.
I glance at Matt’s profile as we walk out of the Deveraux mansion. It’s colder now, and the wind has grown stronger, with a frozen bite to it. I feel the wind whip across my cheeks, my hair once again streaming across my face.
But I’m anything but cold.
Because right now I feel more alive than I ever have. I’m excited. My pulse is leaping. My body is warm with
happiness.
I’m spending the evening with Matt.
We made our rounds to say goodbye and explained to Nate I was tired and Matt was going to keep me company. Nate didn’t bat an eyelash at our excuse. I frown as I remember him saying it was nice of Matt to take care of me. Before we left, Nate pulled me aside and said he was relieved to hear Matt and I would be spending the evening together because Matt couldn’t get into trouble if he was eating pizza with me.
In the eyes of everyone around us, it’s a mutual babysitting arrangement.
But I know I’m spending New Year’s Eve with my crush. I’ll have this memory forever. I’ll always remember what it’s like to have his hands on mine, to feel his fingertips on my face, to know how silky his golden-blond hair is and how sexy the scent that lingers on his locks smells.
I know this will be all I have, but my heart doesn’t care.
“Do you like Fireside Pies?” Matt asks as we walk up to the valet. “Matt Rhinelander and Holly Johansson,” he says to him.
“Yes sir,” the valet says, retrieving a set of keys and tossing another set to different valet.
“I’ve never had their pizza,” I say.
“We have to get it,” Matt insists, swiping the screen on his iPhone. “It’s my favorite pizza in Dallas. Over on Henderson Avenue. I’ll pick it up on the way over to Nate’s place. Here, look at the menu and tell me what you’d like.”
Matt leans in closer to me, and his shoulder brushes against mine. Electricity shoots through me the second we touch.
“The balsamic roasted chicken is good,” Matt says as I read over the options. “So is the meatball pie.”
“I could eat either one of those,” I say. “They both sound delicious.”
“I’ll get both,” Matt says.
I hear the sound of a car and see it’s Kenley’s.
The valet pulls to a stop in front of me.
I glance up at Matt. The wind is blowing around his curls again, and it is irresistible.
“I’ll call you when I’m close,” Matt says. “And you’d better answer the door in those striped socks you were telling me about.”
Heat fills my cheeks. “You aren’t serious.”
“Oh, I am,” Matt insists. “Tonight sounds incredibly wild and dangerous. Striped socks are totally part of that.”
“Shut up,” I say, laughing.
“Come on, Holly. Show me how reckless you can be.”
I hold still.
Oh, Matt, if you only knew how reckless I am being tonight. I’m letting you get close.
I swallow hard. And I know there will never be a return on the investment my heart is making tonight.
The roar of a sports-car engine interrupts my thoughts, and I shift my gaze to the Lamborghini that is coming up the drive. I knew he had traded his Ferrari in for one, and this must be it.
“Yours?” I ask, gazing up at him.
Matt flashes me that sexy smile. “Mine.”
The Lamborghini comes to a stop in front of us. The car is sexy as hell—sleek, fast, and a vivid blue color that demands attention.
Just like the man who drives it.
“See you back at Nate’s.” Matt slips the valet some money and heads around to the driver’s side.
“Oh, and Holly?” Matt calls out.
“Yes?”
“I’m expecting the socks. Don’t let me down.”
Then he flashes me that sexy grin again and gets into his car.
I watch as he drives off, and I can’t help but smile. I know I’m living in a fairy tale now, one that will end when Matt leaves for the night.
But for once I want to live the story instead of writing it.
I head over to Kenley’s car, tip the valet, and get inside.
“Have a good evening,” the valet says to me as he shuts the door.
I plan to, I think happily.
I drive back to Nate’s apartment building in downtown Dallas, taking in the view of the skyline that lights up the night. While stopped at a red light, I drink it in. I’ve come to love this city. I love the people here. They are friendly. I love the energy of Uptown and all the restaurants and shops there. My favorite place is Klyde Warren Park. I’ve gone there with Nate, Kenley, and Marabou. It’s an oasis in the urban city.
I always thought I’d call Chicago home after college. When I couldn’t find a job, I planned on returning to Minneapolis.
But I feel Dallas calling me to stay. To start a new life in Texas, like Nate has. The economic growth is good. And the cost of living. It would be a smart move to stay here.
Nate found happiness in this state. Maybe I can, too.
As the light turns green, my brain jumps into the conversation.
Don’t deny the fact that Matt being here is a huge part of this love for Texas.
I shake my head. Matt can’t be any part of my decision to stay here.
And let’s be real, my brain continues. Matt is spending New Year’s Eve with you. That’s it. He’ll be back on the prowl and you and your striped socks aren’t going to be what he’s hungry for.
Okay, brain, you can shut up now.
I cough and shove those thoughts out of my head. I’m living for tonight and tonight only.
Besides, Nate’s been generous, hosting me over the holidays, but I can’t cramp his style and live with him. I need a job so I can get a place of my own.
Before I know it, I’m back at Nate’s building. I use my security card and access the entrance, and as soon as I put the key in the lock, I hear Marabou barking excitedly on the other side of the door.
Too bad he’ll be disappointed it’s me and not Nate or Kenley.
I unlock the door and turn on the lights. If Marabou is bummed at the sight of me, he doesn’t show it. I bend down to pet him in greeting, and his tail wags in excitement.
“Can you keep a secret?” I ask him.
His big puppy eyes gaze up at me.
“Okay. There’s this boy coming over,” I say in a confiding tone. “And I have a crush on this boy. Matt will never like me in the way I want him to. I know that. And you know that. But for one night, I’m going to let myself live a dream. To be on a date with him. I’m going to dress silly and eat pizza and make him watch a countdown show. Stupid, right?”
Marabou puts his paws on my chest and gives me puppy kisses.
I laugh. “Yes, and your kisses are the only ones I’m getting tonight, so thank you.”
Marabou gets down and goes back to his dog bed. I flip on more lights and head down the hall to the guest room where I’m currently staying. I glance in the big silver mirror on the wall and catch a glimpse of my reflection.
I’m still wearing his coat.
I shimmy out of it. I can smell a faint scent of cologne on it, but it’s not the scent I associate with him. It’s the scent of his hair that is on my mind.
I take a moment to examine my appearance. My long, dark-brown hair has been tousled by the wind, but it looks full and as if I styled it that way on purpose. My face is no longer blotchy from crying. In fact, I swear I’m glowing. My eyes, the same espresso shade as Nate’s, are dancing in excitement.
My joy over tonight is obviously showing.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and take off my strappy silver heels. Then I reach for the zipper on my dress and ease it down, slipping out of it. I move over to the chest of drawers, where I’ve temporarily placed my clothing, and slide the bottom one open. I pick up my navy Ravenclaw Quidditch T-shirt and tug it on. Then I grab a pair of flannel navy and gray plaid pajama shorts and step into them.
I hesitate. Am I really going to do this? Dress in pajamas for Matt?
I know this is bordering on the verge of insanity. I’m s
pending New Year’s Eve with Matt, my crush of two years. My crush. And I’m going to put on a Harry Potter T-shirt and flannel shorts for him?
No. I’m not bordering.
I’m already swimming in the insanity pool. Might as well go all out.
I open the top drawer, where I store my socks. I love socks. My feet are always freezing, and since I grew up in the Midwest, I have a huge collection of them. In particular, I have a giant assortment of striped socks.
I select my favorite cream and navy striped knee-highs and sit on the edge of the bed. I roll them on, thinking this is the nail in my coffin. Matt will laugh at my appearance, and I’ll laugh with him, knowing there was never a shot anyway. We’ll have fun, and then he’ll leave.
His memory of this night will be “remember that time you wore those crazy socks for me?”
If he remembers at all.
Which he probably won’t.
But I know I’ll remember everything.
And I’m already wondering how my heart will ever move past it.
Chapter 5
I take an anxious breath of air as I head to the door. Matt texted me he was here, so I let him in the building, and now he’s on his way up.
To celebrate New Year’s Eve with me.
My pulse leaps in excitement at the idea of Matt being up here in a few minutes.
I’ve never had a New Year’s Eve date in my life. I always envisioned my first New Year’s Eve with a man would be glamorous and full of sparkle, evening gowns and tuxes and being served courses of food I can’t pronounce at some posh restaurant. Then dancing. Champagne. Confetti falling at midnight. And I’d reach up and pluck a piece out of his hair before he kissed me as the clock struck twelve.
And the man was always Matt.
While we aren’t going to be dancing, and there most certainly won’t be a kiss, I will ring in the New Year with him.
And that’s more than I ever could have hoped for.
There’s a knock, and my heart leaps because I know it’s him. Marabou makes a beeline across the hardwood floor, passing me en route, and careens to a stop right in front the door, barking.
