by Lydon, John
I’m also looking back at acting in a different way now. It’s given me a confidence to accept those challenges and to work inside other people’s scripts. I think I have enough going on inside my own head now, that I can take those challenges on without challenging the challenge.
I love my life. I manage to get myself in all manner of pickles, usually of my own making. I can’t forever and a day be out there – duh! – left to my own devices, because I’m used to Johnny Rotten, but I don’t want Johnny Rotten to be just Johnny Rottenisms in another field. Because that’s not how this is going to work. In the same way as when I did shows like Shark Attack, Goes Ape, or I’m a Celebrity, I had to leave my ego outside, and get on with what I was doing, and just be myself, and actually learn to like myself.
That’s all been very good research, and I found out a great deal about myself. I’ve got to get over this self-doubt thing. It’s still there. It always will be, that fear of letting people down. It’s a hard anvil I’ve tied around my neck. But it’s what gives me the energy to go on and go forth. Like, if there’s more wild and crazy offers there in the future coming out of this, then I’d be more than happy to take ’em on.
It’s that endless challenge of ‘What’s next?’ You know: ‘Okay, done that . . . what’s next?’
Actually, what is next?
Come ooooooon, what’s next???
THE FINAL NOTE . . .
One last thing I want to see in this life is for me personally to hit the highest note possible. And if that requires that I burst every blood vessel in my body, and my brain pops out of my ears, that would be for me the most wonderful way to die. I don’t necessarily mean on a stage, in a theatre or an auditorium; I could do that on my death bed. But to finally reach that note that connects with God . . . spelled backwards is still ‘dog’.
But that’s serious, right? I know I’m wrapping that around a cocoon of, ‘Wow, is that boy off on something!’, but I’ve given myself this job of singer, communicator – translator, really – and that’s what I’m still searching for. That final note. I can feel it in me. It’s about finally reaching something that’s, aaah, beyond human, beyond your alleged capabilities, and you don’t know what that is, but that’s what you’re striving for.
I think that’s what everybody strives for. What was that Andy Williams song: ‘To dreeeeeeam the impossible dream’. As an idea, it’s on the lunatic fringe, I understand that, but I don’t know anyone who isn’t a lunatic, frankly. We’re all striving for something we can’t possibly get to. For me, it’s hitting that note that only a dog whistle can reach, or the lowest bass note that’ll make your bowels drop out. None of us have those capabilities, but if you can actually feel that you’ve reached there, that’s the perfect time to die.
And this is what it’ll say on my gravestone: ‘That last note was unlistenable’ . . .
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I don’t understand lists of credits, never have, but titles aside, for years I have fought a world of credit-hoppers and fakers. Deserved credit should go to the following people for their relentless hard work on this book.
Additional editing and research: John Rambo Stevens and Scotty Murphy. Thank you for your creative genius, poignant opinions and generosity. You have learned, shared and taught me a true sense of art and reality. Thank you.
I would also like to thank Adam Cotton’s brilliant genius and his ability of always taking the simplest route to get the best results. This is the true definition of a press agent. Thank you.
I want to thank all three of you for your ongoing loyalty and trust. Thank you.
I also want to say thanks to ‘the Eastender’ and all at Simon & Schuster for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. Thanks also to Agent Pocklington. Thank you.
I’d also like to thank in no particular order . . .
All the managers I’ve ever worked with because of the different aspects they helped bring to my career. Giving me insight I may not have otherwise considered. Thank you.
My accountant, Harish Shah. Thank you, Harry, for your loyalty and dignity. Thank you.
All the lawyers I’ve needed over the years, and a special thanks to Alexis Grower for your understanding of the artist. Thanks also, Pierre Alexander. Thank you.
I want to thank everyone at Virgin. The whole lot of them. People need to understand I never had a problem with any of the people at record companies – it has only ever been with the faceless accountants. I have worked with some very creative people with a real appreciation of the artist: Simon Draper, Ken Berry, Keith Burton, Jane Venton, Sian Davies, Sue Winter, Kaz Utsunomiya, Sarah Watson and Paul Bromby to name but a few. Thank you. Also special mention to Michael Alago and Howard Thompson for their support at Elektra Records and making the record industry entertaining. Thank you. I’d also like to thank everyone at Universal, who now own Virgin and EMI: there are some real old-school creative people there like Johnny Chandler who really care about music. Thank you. Sorry if I missed anyone at any of the record companies, but let’s be honest, there was a lot of you . . .
When I look back the most original photographers whose pictures have lasted the test of time are Ray Stevenson and Joe Stevens. Both had a great eye and their photographs still relate to me personally. Thank you.
I want to thank all my band mates over the years. All of you. Yes, everyone of you. I especially want to thank my present PiL band mates Lu Edmonds, Bruce Smith, Scott Firth and all our crew. This is PiL. May the integrity continue . . . Peace, love and respect from Bunty Bratislava. Thank you.
Hello to Murray Mitchell, old PiL guitar tech. Thank you.
I’d like to give an enormous amount of respect to all Japanese fashion designers, especially Issey Miyake, Yohji Yamamoto and Comme des Garçons. Thank you.
I don’t have a huge social scene, that’s not what me and Nora do. I have billions of acquaintances, the ladder is long, thank you, but the friends I have are for life. Thank you.
John Gray, thank you. Paul Young, thank you. Reggie Williams, thank you. All the lads from Finsbury Park, there’s-no-place-like-home-is-where-the-heart-is, thank you.
I owe my love of Real Racing 3 to Tony Rackley in Los Angeles. He tried to get me interested in cars. He did, just not in the way he thought, haha. Honk Fart. Thank you.
Scotty Murphy nothing but integrity for over fifteen years. Thank you.
Dave Jackson, absolutely the most wonderful stage designer. A fantastic bloke to work with and a very close friend. Thank you.
John Stevens. Rambo. Without whom none of this would be possible. When we met everything changed. We managed to take our friendship into a business situation and make it work in an exceptional way. Thank you. Mr John and Mr John. Thank you. My best mate ever. THE END. Thank you.
Andrew Perry, thank you for working with me and you have a list of people who made you what you are today. It’s wonderful for me to see a journalist break the mould . . . Thank you.
Andrew Perry thanks the following: John Lydon, for giving me this life-changing opportunity, and for all the inspirational music that has electrified and educated me since I was twelve; Rambo, for getting me on the team and sorting everything; Rambo and Scotty Murphy, for their indefatigable attention to detail in approving the text – research is a 24/7 pursuit, I learn; and Adam Cotton, for letting me be his first interviewer in ’07, and being a diamond.
Also: Kevin Pocklington, my agent at Jenny Brown Associates, for fishing me out of journo world while also being a PiL trainspotter; and Kerri Sharp, my editor at Simon & Schuster, for getting involved, letting me get on with it, and talking Torquay. Up the Gulls! ’Nuff respect to Jonathan Wingfield, whose baffling publication of a 35,000-word proto-biography of Lydon was pivotal in my achieving long-distance authorship.
This is my first formal opportunity to thank everyone at Mojo, Q, the Daily Telegraph and eMusic, without whom I could easily have been filing bastard insurance contracts all these years. The more I think about it, t
hat’s a BIG thanks.
To mi breddren – Declan, Andy (old punk!), Leon, the Diskos of Pembrokeshire, Sophie, Rhys, Super Anna, Glad and Mark, Rockin’ Harry, Sherry, Toddy, Amber, Padfield (what, no sandwich?), Sompey Paul, Hannah and Paul, Chilli and PV, TSOOL (RIP, sniff), and all the lively peeps I couldn’t possibly list– you’re spiritually in there somewhere.
My part in this venture is dedicated to my family: my late father, who opposed punk as vociferously as Bernard Brook-Partridge, yet deep down was more Rotten than he ever realized; my mum, just turned eighty, who’s a shining light to us all; my brother, Jimi, who in his dual capacity as my attorney, still owes me two hits of ether, and Sheillah, Bumble and Abs; the ‘outlaws’, Gill, Ange, Ian and Samuel; and finally, my girls – Lisa, my babe, and Rose and Georgia – Daddy loves you all, and he’s coming back dressed as a tigger . . .
INDEX
(the initials JL in subentries refer to John Lydon; PC = Paul Cook; SJ = Steve Jones; KL = Keith Levene; MM = Malcolm McLaren; GM = Glen Matlock; SV = Sid Vicious; JW = Jah Wobble)
‘Acid Drops’, ref1
Adam & The Ants, ref1
Adverts, ref1, ref2
‘Ain’t No 40 Leg Pon Di Dread’, ref1
‘Albatross’, ref1, ref2, ref3
Albertine, Viv, ref1
Album, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5
artwork for, ref1
charting of, ref1
reviews for, ref1
albums:
Album, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5
artwork for, ref1
charting of, ref1
reviews for, ref1
Berlin, ref1
Commercial Zone, ref1
Electric Warrior, ref1
Faust Tapes, The, ref1
Flowers Of Romance, ref1
release of, ref1
Happy?, ref1, ref2
cover of, ref1
Metal Box, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5
packaging of, ref1
repackaging of, ref1
reviews for, ref1
Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols, ref1, ref2, ref3
thirtieth anniversary of, ref1 ref2, ref3
tour to promote, ref1
Paris Au Printemps, ref1
Psycho’s Path, ref1, ref2, ref3
tour to promote, ref1
Second Edition, ref1, ref2
That What Is Not, ref1
media response to, ref1
This Is PiL, ref1, ref2, ref3
This Is What You Want . . . This Is What You Get, ref1
cover for, ref1
Alcatrazz, ref1
Alice In Chains, ref1
Alpert, Herb, ref1, ref2
Althea and Donna, ref1
A&M, ref1, ref2, ref3
Amanpour, Christiane, ref1
American Bandstand, ref1
American Idol, ref1
‘Anarchy In The UK’, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8
and Guitar Hero 3, ref1
and John Lydon’s Megabugs, ref1
released as first single, ref1
tour to promote, ref1
Andre, Peter, ref1, ref2
Anger, Kenneth, ref1
‘Angry’, ref1
Animals, ref1, ref2
Anna Karenina (Tolstoy), ref1
‘Annalisa’, ref1, ref2
Ant, Adam, ref1, ref2
Ant and Dec, ref1
apartheid, ref1
Armatrading, Joan, ref1
Arsenal FC, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5
Spurs’ rivalry with, ref1
Art of Noise, ref1
Ashby, Linda, ref1, ref2
Atkins, Martin, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6
American citizenship of, ref1
family of, ref1, ref2
JL cuts all links with, ref1
and JL’s brother, ref1
JL’s friction with, ref1
New York move by, see under Public Image Ltd
PiL misunderstood by, ref1
PiL quit by, ref1
Atlantic Records, ref1
Atomic Rooster, ref1
‘Attack’, ref1
Attenborough, David, ref1
Audience, ref1
Baddiel, David, ref1
Baker, Ginger, ref1, ref2, ref3
Baker, Maureen, ref1
Bambaataa, Afrika, ref1
Band Aid, ref1
Barclay, Bill, ref1
Barnes, Neil, ref1
Barry, Jack (maternal grandfather), ref1, ref2, ref3
Barry, John, ref1
Barry Lyndon, ref1
Bay City Rollers, ref1, ref2
Bazooka Joe, ref1
Beatles, ref1, ref2, ref3
Beck, ref1
Bee Gees, ref1, ref2, ref3
Berlin, ref1
Berry, Ken, ref1
Beverley (formerly Ritchie), Anne (SV’s mother), ref1, ref2
and drugs, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4
and SV’s friends, ref1
Beyoncé, ref1
Bieber, Justin, ref1
Big Match, The, ref1
Biggs, Ronald, ref1
Björk, ref1
Black Ark, ref1
Black Sabbath, ref1
Blackburn, Tony, ref1
BMI Icon award, ref1
‘Bodies’, ref1
Bodog:
Battle of the Bands, ref1
Johnny Rotten Loves America (unmade), ref1
Bolan, Marc, ref1, ref2
Bond, Jennie, ref1
Bonham, John, ref1
Boogie, see Tiberi, John ‘Boogie’
‘Born For A Purpose’, ref1
Bosanquet, Reginald, ref1
Bowie, David, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6
Boy George, ref1
‘Boy Named Sue, A’, ref1
Boyd, Brandon, ref1
Boyle, Danny, ref1
Bragg, Melvyn, ref1
Branson, Richard, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6
canal boat of, ref1
Never Mind the Bollocks promoted by, ref1
Brian Brain, ref1
Brixton Academy, ref1
Brocket, Lord (Charlie), ref1
Bromley Contingent, ref1, ref2
Brook-Partridge, Bernard, ref1
Brooks, Rebekah, ref1
Bruni, Jebin, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4
Bryant, Del, ref1
Burdon, Eric, ref1
Burns, Karl, ref1
Burton, Keith, ref1
Bush, Kate, ref1
Buzzcocks, ref1, ref2
Bwindi Impenetrable National Park, ref1
Bygraves, Max, ref1
Byrne, Johnny, ref1
Cale, John, ref1
Camarata, Anita, ref1, ref2, ref3
Cameron, David, ref1
Can, ref1, ref2, ref3
Capital Radio, ref1
Captain Beefheart, ref1, ref2, ref3
Caraballo, Ed, ref1
‘Careering’, ref1, ref2, ref3
Carr, Brian, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4
Carry On movies, ref1
Cash, Johnny, ref1
Cathy Come Home, ref1
Celebrity Circus, ref1
censorship, JL’s antipathy towards, ref1
Chapman, Graham, ref1
Chart Show, The, ref1
Chasez, JC, ref1
Chelmsford Prison, ref1
Cherry, Neneh, ref1, ref2, ref3
Chrysalis, ref1
CIA, ref1, ref2
Clapton, Eric, ref1, ref2
Clark, Dick, ref1, ref2
Clark, Petula, ref1
Clarke, Johnny, ref1
Clash, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7
in New York, ref1
Cleese, John, ref1
CNN, ref1, ref2
Cobain, Kurt, ref1, ref2
Cockney Rebel, ref1
Cohl, Michael, ref1, ref2
Colbert Report, The, r
ef1
Coleman, Ornette, ref1
Colletti, Tony, ref1
Collins, Joan, ref1
Combine Harvester tour, ref1
Commercial Zone, ref1
Congos, ref1
Connor, Laurence, ref1
Cook, Paul, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4
birthday of, ref1
Brazil trip of, ref1
celebrity sought by, ref1
commitment of, to SJ, ref1
at early rehearsal, ref1
in early Sex Pistols, ref1, ref2
electrician job of, ref1
in fight, ref1
and Guitar Hero 3, ref1
JL’s easy relationship with, ref1
and JL’s flat, ref1
JL’s gratitude to, ref1
and Pistols’ demise, ref1
and Pistols’ return, see under Sex Pistols
Professionals formed by, ref1
SJ understood by, ref1
SV avoided by, ref1
SV punched by, ref1
SV resented by, ref1
timing of, ref1, ref2
see also Sex Pistols
Coon, Caroline, ref1
Cooper, Alice, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4
Copkiller (a.k.a. Order of Death), see Order of Death, The
Corfield, Gemma, ref1
Corrupt (a.k.a. Order of Death), see Order of Death, The
Costello, Elvis, ref1
Cotton, Adam, ref1, ref2
Country Life, ref1
‘Cowboy Song, The’, ref1
Cox, Debby, ref1
Crazy World of Arthur Brown, ref1
Cream, ref1
Creation Records, ref1
Crime and Punishment (Dostoyevsky), ref1, ref2, ref3
‘Criminal’, ref1
Crisp, Quentin, ref1
Critters, ref1
Crowe, Dave, ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6
accounting duties of, ref1
JL fires, ref1
and JL’s drunken stupor, ref1
