Miranda smiled, tears in her eyes. "Of course. He’s not here. He’s away. He’s gone. He’s not coming back." She looked up at Emily. "So it’s time to move on now, isn’t it?" Emily didn’t say anything, but she took Miranda’s hand and kept it there while she sobbed quietly.
CHAPTER 9
Jessie got home at nine. As soon as she opened the door, she found Zainab standing in the front hall, zipping up a bag. She had her jacket and shoes on. "Hey," Jessie said, closing the door. "Where’s Miranda?"
"I think she’s having dinner with Alex."
"One day I’ll understand her taste in men."
"Just accept that it’s not for us to understand and then you’ll feel better."
Jessie smiled. "Yeah, I guess." She gestured to the bags. "What’s going on?"
Zainab smiled, then shrugged. "I thought I’d just bring a couple of things to Emily’s place. She can use the adult company."
Jessie looked at the floor. There were three other bags next to Zainab. "Yeah," she said slowly. "And of course doing it at night would be better than, say, on your way to work or after work. Oh, wait, right, this would be a perfect time if you were planning on staying there tonight."
Zainab walked past Jessie to get her keys and squeezed her arms. "Emily gets lonely sometimes."
"I think I know how that feels," Jessie said quietly.
Zainab smiled. "Come on Jess, you don’t need a babysitter anymore. Miranda’s here, too."
"I don’t need a babysitter, but I do need my friend. And that’s a lousy word to describe our relationship, but it’s the best I could think of."
"We’re going to be friends no matter where I sleep."
"But now we’re kind of family," Jessie said with a pleading smile. "I kind of like that."
Zainab smiled sadly. "As much as you like anything, right?"
"I like you maybe a little more than that."
"Jess, I love you too," Zainab said, touching her arm again. "But there’s got to be more for me if I’m going to be your roommate here."
"Oh, God, what did my idiot cousin do?"
"Richard doesn’t usually do idiot things, Jess. That’s part of the problem."
They heard the door close. Jessie sighed with relief. Zainab turned around and saw Richard in the doorway. Richard looked at the bags, then looked at Zainab as if he’d been reproached. Zainab took a deep breath. Jessie stepped back. "I think I need to call Emily and tell her about my date with Bobby."
"Who’s Bobby?" Zainab asked, but Jessie had already scurried halfway up the stairs at that point.
Zainab turned back to Richard. "Bobby?"
He shook his head. "No idea." He stood up straight. "And right now, I don’t care."
"You always care, Richard. It’s one of the things I love about you."
"Fine, then. I care about you more."
"Maybe you shouldn’t," Zainab said quietly. "I know all the pressure you’re under right now."
Richard shrugged. "Jessie, shockingly, seems to have everything under control. Michael is still gone, and I haven’t had to bail him out of too many messes since he left. So I’ve got enough energy to run a small country right now."
Zainab shook her head. "Then I guess you don’t have a good excuse, do you?"
"Darling, I know I’ve been—"
"Please. I’m not asking for an apology."
"But I owe you one anyway, and I know it."
"I don’t want one then. It doesn’t matter. You’re a human being—this is maybe your first opportunity to appreciate it."
"Then what do you want?"
"More." It was just one word, but it was the hardest one she’d ever said. "Maybe it’s not fair, but I can’t stay like this, knowing that this may be all we’ll ever have. It’s nice, but I don’t want to be someone’s girlfriend or someone’s roommate for the rest of my life. I want more. I want to look out and see a future." Richard opened his mouth to speak, but Zainab put up her hand. "And I’m not mad that you don’t want the same thing. I still love you Richard, but I don’t think I’m going to get those things if I keep waiting for you to want them too."
He looked so pained when she was done that she regretted what she said, but she knew it had to be said. "You want a family," he said after a moment.
"Yes."
"I’m afraid of that, Zainab. It terrifies me."
Zainab almost laughed. "You? You’ve been through so much already. Changing diapers, sending people off to school—that wouldn’t really be anything compared to what Michael and Jessie and even Miranda put you through."
"I don’t know how," Richard said simply. "I want a normal family where those are the only things we’d have to worry about. But I don’t know how. No one ever showed me. The only person who could have..." He looked away for a moment. "He died."
"There are plenty of people who figure it out by themselves, and most of them do fine."
"I don’t have a very good reason to think that I’d be one of them," he said. It was the first time Zainab had ever seen him so vulnerable.
"But I’m here too," Zainab said softly. "I have a pretty good idea of how you’re supposed to get things done."
Richard nodded his head. "I know. And that’s why I think about it at all."
"You do?" Zainab smiled, hopeful, despite herself.
"Of course I do. God, I’m not a fool. You think after all this time I don’t have some idea of what you want? I want to give it to you, I just don’t want to screw it up as badly as it was for me, for them."
Zainab took Richard’s hand in hers. He lifted it up and kissed it softly. "What do you want to do then?"
"Please just give me some time. I know," he said before she could say anything. "You’ve already waited. Just a little more, I promise."
"What would you do with this time?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on his chest.
He inhaled. "There’s something I need to sort out."
CHAPTER 10
It was a late fall evening in 1980 when Alex arrived at Stephen’s house for a drink. "About time, my friend," Stephen said as he led Alex into the living room. "What’s your pleasure?"
"Oh, the usual," Alex said off-handedly as he looked around. "Is your dad home?"
Stephen stiffened as he poured their drinks. "No," he said with forced nonchalance. "He’s out for the weekend, I’m afraid." He turned and handed Alex his drink. "I’ll be sure to tell him you said hello."
Alex sipped his drink. He needed the courage. "Thanks, but it’s actually a little bit more than a hello." He knocked his drink back. "I wanted to ask him something."
Stephen sat down, barely concealing his distaste. "About what?"
"A business opportunity," Alex said simply. "One with amazing profit potential."
"How much are you looking for?" When Alex said the number Stephen let out a low whistle. "Sorry, I can tell you right now, Dad doesn’t have that. I don’t have it either. I’d give it to you myself if I did."
"It was a long shot anyway," Alex said disappointedly. "But worth asking about."
"I’m sorry, Alex. But please, you don’t want to owe my father anything."
"I wouldn’t owe him for long."
Stephen shook his head. "He can’t." He looked at his friend’s fallen face. "But he’s not the only one around here with deep pockets. Why don’t you just ask Annabelle’s dad?"
"Because he’s my boss, and if this investment doesn’t work out, I’d like to keep my job."
"Alex, Gerry likes you. I think he’s going to admire you even more, even if he says no. He won’t fire you just for asking."
"Then maybe I don’t want to look desperate in front of him."
Stephen winked. "Don’t worry—I’m the only who knows the lengths you’re ready to go to, and your secret is safe with me." He hit Alex’s knee. "I’ll take care of it."
"How? I didn’t think Gerry had quite warmed to you yet."
He winked. "Well, I’ve got an
in."
"Oh great! I didn’t think Annabelle had warmed to me quite yet either."
"Maybe not," Stephen said with a grin. "But she has warmed to me. Once she sees the ring I got her, I don’t think I’ll have a problem getting her to do my friend a small favor."
Alex raised his glass. "Ah, true love."
~~~
It was after six the next Friday evening. Alex sat in the waiting room of Gerald Hendrickson’s office. The secretary looked resentfully at Alex before she announced him to Gerald.
At last, Alex was shown in at six-thirty. Gerald, in his sixties with graying, receding hair, looked up from his glasses. "Thank you Jenny. You can leave now."
"Thank you sir," she said, then passed Alex without a word.
Gerald stood up and shook Alex’s hand. He was taller than average, but not as tall as his son. He was also in admirable shape for a man his age, although gravity was beginning to stoop his posture.
"Good to see you, Mister Sheldon," Gerald said, gesturing for Alex to sit down. "I can’t tell you how pleased I am, in fact. I was very surprised when Annabelle—oh, did you hear? They’re engaged!"
"I did hear, sir. Stephen told me he was planning to ask her. I assume, of course, that he told you first?"
Gerald laughed. "Of course, of course. I think I’ve been a little bit hard on that young man, but I’ve been known to change my mind. Stephen will, I’m sure, make a wonderful husband for my Annabelle."
"That is his intention."
"Good, good," Gerald nodded, smiling, leaning back. "But I don’t think you wanted to see me today to talk about Stephen and Annabelle, did you?"
"No, I didn’t." He lifted his chin. "I’ve been made privy to some information about a project in South Korea that, I am absolutely positive, is going to be successful beyond most people’s imagination. And, unlike most good investments, the returns will be realized very quickly."
"I see," Gerald said without betraying any emotion. "And what kind of project is this?"
"Electronics, sir."
"Ah, yes." He put his hands together as if in prayer and leaned his chin on his fingertips. "And how, might I ask, did you come across this information?"
"One of my classmates was a Korean national. He went back after graduation to help his father run their family company. I was helpful to him in school, and we kept in touch."
Gerald nodded. "It’s what I’ve noticed about you. You certainly understand someone’s potential. Your classmate, Stephen—"
"No, sir." Alex couldn’t help himself. "Stephen is my friend."
Gerald waved his hand in acquiescence. "Of course, of course. I didn’t mean that he wasn’t. But he certainly has been helpful, hasn’t he?"
"I suppose. But I prefer not to think of him that way."
"Very well. So, young man, how much money are we talking about?" Alex named the same figure he’d given Stephen. Gerald didn’t move. "That’s a lot of money."
"It is. And it will be a lot more in five years."
"What kind of terms are you offering?"
"Twelve percent interest until the principal is paid back."
"Generous terms."
"Yes sir." Gerald smiled as if he were a cat who’d just caught the proverbial canary. Alex raised his eyebrows. "Sir?"
Gerald folded his hands. "Normally, if someone came into my office and asked for that much money, I’d throw them out. If, by some chance, they stayed, I’d want to know everything that they intended to do with that money."
"I’ll tell you anything you want to know."
"But I’m not asking, am I? I believe you. I have no doubt that whatever your friend has planned will yield a very handsome return on an investment. And I find myself inclined to agree—it would be a good investment."
Alex stayed silent; he could hear the "but" already.
"However, if I were to make such a substantial investment, I’d want different terms."
Alex blinked. He hadn’t been sure he’d actually get this far. "I’m willing to negotiate, certainly."
"What if we said five percent interest, and just for about, oh, a year and a half? And you could keep the principal."
Alex repeated that to himself. "That’s very generous of you," he said slowly. "But why would you even suggest such terms?"
"Because I think you could give me something I want much more than interest."
"And what is that, sir?"
"A grandson."
Alex pulled his chin back. "I’m pretty sure Stephen and Annabelle were thinking about children, but I was under the impression they wanted to wait a few years."
"That isn’t the grandchild I was referring to."
"I—um, I of course could help Jim meet people—"
"Oh, I’m sure," Gerald said, and Alex could hear the disdain in his voice. "Word of your exploits have reached my office." Alex didn’t blush—he knew he didn’t have to. "But I’m afraid I have someone less attainable in mind for my son. I believe you know Lucy Bartolome?"
Alex sat up straight. "A little, sir." He swallowed. "I know she was Jim’s classmate. But they’re both a little older—"
"You’re beginning to see my point."
Alex didn’t look at Gerald. "I suppose so," he said slowly. "But I know Jim has...tried...on his own. Lucy doesn’t seem interested."
"You see more of my point."
"Are you sure Lucy’s the best choice for him?" he asked carefully. "If she isn’t in love with him—"
"Ah, you disappoint me," Gerald said softly. "I don’t think you understood my request. I asked for a grandson. It implies marriage, it doesn’t imply love."
"He’s your son."
"And he wants her."
"What if he changes his mind?"
"Then he’ll have a child, another Hendrickson. I have no doubt Jimmy will love him. For most people, that’s the love that endures anyway."
Alex licked his lips. "I see."
"I’m not asking for your approval," Gerald said firmly. "I’m asking if you’re up for the job?"
Alex looked around at the old, well-furnished office and the man who owned it. "Yes sir. I am actually perfectly suited for it." Gerald smiled, but he didn’t ask why. He didn’t need to know. On that, Alex agreed.
CHAPTER 11
Emily woke up the next morning from a dream she’d been having lately. She was back in high school and it was freshman year. But instead of being nervous, she was smiling and excited. She was standing by her locker talking to Charlie. She looked into his eyes and saw that special look that she had seen many times when no one else was looking. That he was interested in what she had to say and that he saw someone pretty. Now he was looking at her and he didn’t seem to care who else was looking. He smiled. She laughed. Then they were at the fountain near the Charles Hotel in Cambridge, talking all night long. Emily saw stars the whole night and reached up her arms and embraced the sky.
It was then that Emily woke up. She took a deep breath, trying to hold onto that feeling, where everything was normal and she was happy. But it didn’t last.
She sat up feeling a twinge of guilt, then a little stupid. Mitch was far more handsome than Charlie had been (although who knew what Charlie looked like now?). She and Charlie hadn’t had a whole night, just one lousy little hour while they had waited for a late bus. She and Mitch had had a whole night, an entire lifetime. But Charlie had asked her not to go.
Everything was so different and strange. Why did she still feel so lonely? She looked at the baby monitor and smiled. Not entirely.
She opened the door and heard typing. Mitch was still home. She smiled, even though she knew she should remember to be mad at him for getting out of bed so early after he’d gotten into it so late. She couldn’t help it.
She opened the door to his study. He jumped from where he was sitting. "Jesus, Emily!" he shouted. He was angry. Her face fell, but he didn’t notice. "I guess I should be getting into the office anyway," he grumbled as he shut down his work.
Emily nodded, replacing hurt with anger. "Yep, that sounds like a plan," she said. "Sorry I interrupted you." She closed the door and hopped into the shower. By the time she got out, Mitch was gone. He hadn’t even bothered to say good-bye.
Emily was in the middle of getting Hellie ready for the sitter when Miranda called. "Hey, let’s work off-site today," she said in her usual, cheery tone.
Emily thought for a moment. She was looking forward to seeing her friends at work today. But maybe someplace new and different wouldn’t be bad. "What did you have in mind?"
~~~
Emily had just come out into the carpeted lobby of the health club. She felt ridiculous. She was in her very beaten up sneakers, a tank top and shorts. Things she’d gotten at the thrift shop. Two years ago. Not that anyone was making eye contact with her, but she was convinced that everyone was looking at her. She hated Miranda right then.
Miranda breezed out a moment later in her shorts, tank top and sneakers. Only hers fit pretty well and looked, if not exactly new, at least well-cared for. Emily snarled when she saw her, and Miranda laughed. "You look great," she said reassuringly. And it was true. Three years of veganism and regular Kundalini yoga practice had done admirable things for Emily’s body, even in her less than perfect clothes.
"Not next to you, thank you very much." She scowled again at having to stand next to Miranda’s curvy-skinny, goddess-like figure in her ultra-chic workout gear.
"So let’s go shopping for some new gym clothes."
"Yeah, and here I thought maybe we should try to get some work done, silly me." Emily pushed the doors open and stood back. She had never seen so much gym equipment in her life. "Wow."
"That’s what I’m saying! Come on." Miranda grabbed Emily’s hand and dragged her in. Innumerable treadmills, elliptical machines, stair climbers and Cybex paraphernalia led to an entire room filled with about seventy-five spin bikes.
"Why are we here again?" Emily asked.
Miranda smiled. "Because I thought this might be a better location to have an out of the office meeting."
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