by Blue Saffire
“What did you say,” I growl.
Sephora
Thirty-five hours after the hotel incident…
Cali
Kimmie and I march down the hall as fast as we can in our heels, to get to the meeting room at FLI. I am operating on no sleep. When I stepped into the suite Kimmie was waiting for me. She had spoken to Ettie and apparently Nick and Luke has been looking for both of us.
Ettie filled Kimmie in on as much as she knew. Kimmie took it upon herself to do some digging and found out that the deal in Seattle fell apart. My team worked so hard on the deliverables for that deal. There was no reason it should have fallen apart.
I once said the Kimmie is a genius at spotting a pin in a hay stack. I hacked into A&T, the company the deal was supposed to be with, and Kimmie and I went to work looking for something out of place. There had to be something. This deal was a sure bet. Nick should have just been signing paperwork. A&T had already agreed on the increase Nick was looking for after the designs and structured systems my team provided.
Kimmie found the one string we needed to pull to unravel it all. Someone was communicating with someone at FLI outside of the team handling the deal. We found a string of deleted emails, but the thing is all of them are back and forth to dummy accounts.
They covered their tracks well, but Kimmie and I are better. We will find them. We just found something that drew a red flag that made us rush to clean up and get to the office. I was so grateful to Ryan and Braxton for thinking of asking Nellie and Heather to bring Kimmie and me a change of clothes for today.
I like Heather and Nellie’s taste. The grey sheath dress fit my curves perfectly and has a deep v back. The red heels are a little higher than I have worn before, but Kimmie has helped me to keep from falling on my face.
Kimmie helped me tame my hair into a tight bun on top of my head and she applied my makeup flawlessly. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to look drop dead gorgeous when I see Nick. I still don’t know what really happened in that hotel, but I know that this is my dream job and I plan on keeping it. If I can show Nick what he is missing out on at the same time, then I will take that as well.
I have been texting my assistant Regina all morning as Kimmie and I rushed our way here. Regina has sent a few texts to say that Nick has been ripping into everyone. Even if Nick did hurt me in the most unimaginable way, I know he has worked so hard to build his company. I won’t stand by and watch someone take that away from him.
“What did you say,” I hear Nick growl from the other side of the meeting room door. “Regina, where the fuck is Sephora,” are the next words I hear roared.
I take a deep breath and look at Kimmie, nodding my head to myself, I turn and push into the meeting room. All the air seems to leave the room. Nick’s hard glare lands on me and I watch as his jaw ticks. I have never seen him look so pissed.
God, it is so wrong how sexy this man is. I can already feel my body reacting to him and his heated glare. Just being in his presence heats my blood and turns all my brain functions to mush.
His dark grey suit fits him perfectly and the white shirt sets off his skin, while the light green tie around his neck intensifies his jade eyes. His golden brown hair is a disheveled mess that would look unfitting on someone else but is absolutely flawless on him. It looks like he has spent the morning running his hands through his hair.
The room is silent around us as we are locked in a stare down. I want to look away, but I came here for a purpose and I intend to see it through. I will not cower in front of my coworkers.
Something inside me just clicks into place and I stand straighter and steel my resolve. I turn to Kimmie to reach for her laptop. I hear the growl that leaves Nick and I turn back to see his eyes roam over my body greedily. I shiver and blink. His glare is like a hand caressing every inch of my body.
“Out,” he snaps. “All of you!”
I clutch Kimmie’s laptop to my chest as I stand there frozen. Nick leans forward on the conference table not taking his eyes off of me. I jump a little when the door behind me clicks shut. The room cleared so fast. Bunch of cowards. They just left you here for slaughter. You’ve got this, Sephora.
“I think I know where the problem –,” I start but Nick holds his hand up.
He runs that hand through his hair then pushes off the table with the other hand. He doesn’t say a word as he rounds the table, still with his eyes locked on me. I open my mouth to speak again, but he glares at me in warning.
He stops in front of me, reaching to cup my face. I flinch away and his scowl hardens. I’m not ready for his touch. One touch and I know I will cave.
Nick pries the laptop from my fingers and places it on the conference table. He then moves back into my space closer this time. I take a step back and he growls.
His hands shoot out and grab my hips, bringing me to his chest. I look up at him pleading with my eyes from him to give me space. He lowers his head, his lips hover just over mine as he speaks.
“I have spent over twenty-four hours not knowing whether or not you were safe. I will not be denied holding you in my arms to make sure you are real and really safe,” he clips. “We need to have a talk, but I will not do this here. We’re leaving.”
With that he releases me. I am disappointed and relieved he didn’t try to kiss me. He places his hand on the small of my back, leading me to the door. I turn to look back at the laptop.
“Whatever you and Kimmie have found I will deal with later. I will have her and the laptop delivered to our home,” Nick says firmly.
His words are so clinical. I frown but keep walking. I don’t want to make a scene here in the office. I let him lead me to the elevator and step inside. Another employee tries to step on with us and Nick shoots him a death glare.
The door closes in his face as he looks at Nick in fear. My own anger begins to rise. I figure we are alone in the elevator with no prying eyes, so I start in.
“Nick, I’m here to do a job. All of this is not necessary,” I start.
Nick moves to the panel and hits the emergency stop button, then he hits the call button for assistance. “Mr. Lincoln, Sir, is everything alright,” a confused sounding voice answers.
“Cut the camera feed to this car. I will start the cart when I am ready, it is out of service until I give further notice,” Nick says as he shrugs out of his suit jacket.
“Yes Sir,” the voice replies still sounding confused.
Nick turns to the camera in the elevator and hangs his jacket over it. I stand watching him with my brows wrinkled. Nick turns to face me. He licks his bottom lip and loosens his tie. He stalks towards me backing me up against the wall. He places his hands on either side of my face.
Nick leans in until we are nose to nose. “I thought I told you this wouldn’t work if you don’t trust me. I have never given you reason to doubt me. Yet, in one afternoon you let someone change our relationship and break our trust that we have built together,” Nick seethes.
“Nick,” I try.
“No,” he barks out. “I love you, I would never hurt you.”
“I know what I saw,” I cry out.
“You didn’t see me,” he roars back, cupping the back of my neck and kissing me senseless.
My hands lift and my fingers curl helplessly into his dress shirt. Nick molds his hard body to mine and I whimper into his mouth. His tongue slips into my open lips demanding my submission to him.
I yelp and wrap my arms around his neck when he lifts me from my feet, pushing my dress up as he coaxes my legs around his waist. I hear as he releases his belt as he continues to devour my mouth. My body is melting for him, but in my brain I am fighting with the thought of pushing him away.
When I feel and hear my panties being torn from my body, I gasp and open my eyes. Before I can stop him, Nick thrusts into my wet waiting core. He growls and I moan.
“Mine,” he growls against my neck. “I love you so fucking much, Baby. I almost lost it when I couldn�
�t find you.”
I bury my face into his neck and sob. I’m full of so many emotions. I don’t know how I feel or what to believe. Nick starts to pound into me harder and I throw my head back, crying out his name.
His thick hard length is relentless in ringing pleasure from my body the only way he can. With each thrust my feelings become more conflicting. I feel guilty for letting Ry kiss me on the beach, I feel broken because I am so unsure of everything.
“Nick, please,” I cry as I dig my red heels into his ass.
“Fuck,” Nick groans. “I missed you so much. Your pussy is the only one I want. This tight pussy is the only one I need.”
“Nick,” I whimper.
“Tell me you love me,” he whispers in my ear, but I can’t.
I can’t make the words come out of my mouth. They will give him too much power over me. I can’t hand him that type of power right now. Not only that, but the guilt of Ryan’s kiss burns the words in my throat.
“Sephora,” Nick’s voice breaks with raw emotion.
I shake my head in the crook of his neck. “Please, please, don’t ask me for that right now,” I sob.
Instead of asking again, he continues to thrust into me as he repeats the words over and over. Telling me that he loves me as if they are the only words that matter, the words that will fix what has broken between us. I almost break and repeat them, but the words are trapped in my throat as we both cry out our release together.
I feel myself retreating as I come down from bliss. This is not the fight I thought I would give. I have just given in to him so easily once again.
Only this time I think I may be the wrong party. Kimmie’s words from last night ring in my head. Did I indeed do something that I will regret. For the first time in the longest time I long for an old comfort. It is time to start taking back a piece at a time.
Nick
There is a river between us that I don’t know how to cross. I never should have taken her in the elevator. I just lost my mind when she walked into that conference room. The moment my eyes landed on her I knew something was different, something had changed in the time she was away from me.
I wasn’t sure what it was until she threw her shoulders back and lifted her head when she was ready to stand her ground. I was so turned on. Add the red heels and that dress I wanted to throw her down right there on the conference table, be damn the people in the room.
It took all the restrain I had, not to take her right there once the room was cleared. Seeing Sephora and knowing she was safe took precedence over everything else. I needed to get her out of the office to hold her in my arms and make sure she was okay.
I just snapped in the elevator and now I regret it. I was shredded when she wouldn’t tell me she loves me. I wanted to tear the people responsible for her distrust in me to pieces. She used to sing that she loves me so easily.
Now I’m not even sure if she still does. I have awoken to an empty bed. Once we arrive home I tried to talk to her, but she shut down on me. I hate when she gives me the silent treatment. I thought of tying her to the bed and forcing her to talk, but I know we are not there anymore. I have to work for her trust again as much as it may kill me.
I sit up and swing my feet out of the bed. I just need to know she is still here. I will give her the space she needs, but I need to know she is here.
I walk out of the room and the sound of an amped string instrument meets my ears. I close my eyes and feel a shiver roll through my body. Fantasia floats through the halls up to me. I pray it doesn’t mean what I fear.
Sephora had picked the song as her safe word. Could she be telling me she wants out of our relationship. Has she reached her limit with me? I refuse to believe that I have lost her. Not like this.
I move to the room I placed the electric violin in, hoping one day she would choose to play for me. My tight chest loosens as she changes songs, but not by much. I don’t know the name of the sad tune that fills the house next, but I know it is saying a lot. I believe I have heard it before but I can’t place it.
I step into the shadow of the sitting room. The sight before me is breathtaking. The fireplace with the auburn and clear glass is lit behind her, providing a glowing warmth in the background. The light is casting a beautiful glow against Sephora’s chocolate brown skin as she sits in a chair in front of the fireplace.
She is dressed in just the white tank top and pink lace panties she went to sleep in. Her eyes are closed as she sways with the music, her small foot working the petal the feeds the amp. I can tell she is lost in each note. It is like she is one with the flow of the enchantment she is creating.
My heart aches to be near her. My palm itches to touch her. I don’t realize I have moved from the shadows until I am standing right in front of her, only a foot away. The song comes to an end and slowly she opens her glossy eyes.
I am shattered as I see the wide range of pain playing in her eyes. I have to make this right. I want nothing but her happiness. I will not give up until she knows how I truly feel.
Sephora
I feel him the moment he enters the room. I just need to make it through this song. I continue to play as I feel his eyes on me, eyes that I can see in my mind’s eye as I play. I play the last chords to my version of Christina Aguilera’s, Hurt, and open my eyes slowly.
When I open my eyes, he is standing a foot away. Gorgeous as ever looking like a God standing before me. He is shirtless with a pair of grey gym shorts hanging low on his hips. His thighs look powerful, even from underneath the thin fabric loosely clinging to them.
Nick even has sexy feet, always well-groomed. His chisel chest demands my attention as his tanned golden skin glows in the light from the fireplace. Shadows cast over his delicious abs, making me want to trace them with my tongue.
His hair is messy from sleep and there is stubble lining his jaw from a one day’s neglect. The sight tightens my chest because I know his lack of grooming was because he was worried about me.
Nick moves cautiously to kneel before me, placing his palms on my thighs while watching me to see if this is okay with me. It is like I am a frighten bird he doesn’t want to scare away. I hate this distance I feel between us, although I know I am partly to blame.
I drop my hands to my sides, still clutching my bow and violin. Nick locks those jade eyes on me with a million questions floating through them. I fight to keep the tears from bursting forward.
Earlier, when Nick tried to talk to me he told me what Jillian had done. I believe Nick when he said that he wasn’t the one in the bathroom, that makes me feel worse. My guilt is eating at me.
I needed the comfort that the music and the strings bring me. I’m tired of giving things I love up for others. I hadn’t really planned to play when I first came down here. I had just planned to tune the violin and pluck a few chords, but once the violin was in my hands I could feel that energy flowing through me.
I started to remember the control playing a simple piece brought to me. As I thought of that control, I thought of Nick and our time in his playroom. I may submit to him, but it is by my choice. I always have the choice to say no.
Just like Kimmie had a choice with Luke and she ignored her feelings and needs. I will never ignore me for anyone. I suddenly felt the need to use my safe word, but not for Nick. I needed to use it for my mother, my father and even Luke.
I will no longer ignore that there were days when I was younger and even now when I did feel really pretty being just me. Days that I then let my mother come along and change everything that made me feel pretty.
I will no longer ignore my love for playing an instrument because the one person I trusted, loved, and shared my music with betrayed me. I loved my father so much. I will never understand how he became a different man and tore my heart to pieces. But that will no longer make me hide from a love that breathes within for my playing.
I will no longer ignore that I do want to develop my own game and someday have a company of my own becaus
e my brother thinks I need to be in a steady, established structure. I love what I do at FLI, but I do have other dreams. Why can’t I have both? I am still young.
Most of all, I will no longer ignore that I love my brown skin or that I am the one in the family that is different. I don’t mind being the brown one as much as my mother may think I should. I love me. I love Sephora.
So I played Fantasia, it was my way of saying I’ve had enough. I then played Hurt because I do believe I have hurt the one person who has only asked me to be me. I know this, but I don’t know what to do.
I watch Nick’s throat bob as he swallows. “Can I ask what made you play,” he asks.
I lower my lids and inhale deeply. I know Nick has secrets. It is one of the reasons it was so easy for me to believe he had betrayed me. Sure, I know his secrets are older than our relationship, but it still causes me to question things sometimes. I decide that if I want to have this relationship we are both going to need to come clean. So I start.
“I needed to. It was time. I’m tired of giving up pieces of me for others,” I shrug. “I’m tired of being forced to do what everyone thinks is best for Sephora. Every time I take a step it is like I get blown back.”
Nick searches my eyes, he then frowns. “I have never forced you to do anything you haven’t wanted to do,” he says sounding hurt.
I snort and narrow my gaze at him. “Really Nick,” I say tilting my head to the side.
“Really Sephora,” he snaps back and snorts as well.
“The job,” I say.
“You love it. It was your dream job. You pretty much spelled that out in your essay for your scholarship whether you know it or not,” Nick presses his lips and stares at me in challenge.
I sigh, he is right, but I’m not giving in that easily.
“This relationship,” I snap back and know the moment the words leave my mouth that I have just spewed nonsense. I dreamed about Nick for four years.
Nick smirks at me, tilting his head to mirror mine. “Really, Baby,” he says. “You were mine from the moment you fell into my arms. It was like an angel fell from the sky. You felt it just as I did. You wanted this relationship before your young mind, even knew what this relationship would be. No, my little butterfly, that one is not going to work either.”
