by Nana Malone
“Even If It doesn’t look good for the crown?”
“The crown isn’t real yet. Don’t you dare put your life on hold because of it. Too many before you have put their lives on hold.”
Chapter 11
Abbie…
If I was going to continue hanging out with Sophie, I’d have to get some comfortable shoes and hydrate better.
Bending over, I adjusted the strap of sexy, black, sling-back stilettos. When Sophie had come home to the flat, Tamsin and I had both been surprised, but Sophe had only been there to grab an outfit and drag me out the door with her. Tamsin had been smart enough to beg off with the excuse of having to work.
As I tumbled behind me glitterati godmother, I mouthed to Tamsin, “Save me.”
She only laughed and waved me off.
The glitterati life was fun, but I was starting to see it for what it was. The same crowd at different venues, looking vaguely bored and searching for something to entertain them.
A month ago, I never would have dreamed of this place. A few weeks and a transatlantic flight later, I was bypassing club lines, hanging out in VIP, and being flirted with by guys who were so beautiful they made me feel inadequate. Like Evan.
Nevertheless, I was kidding myself if I thought I was skipping Alexi’s birthday. Just the idea of seeing him again made my heart race. I didn’t want to examine those feelings too closely. Because then I’d have to think about what that meant.
It’s just a crush. A crush is safe. You know better than to look for more.
Besides, I’d made a promise to myself. I was going to live every experience. I was going to find the joy in the mundane. For years, I’d been a shell of myself.
True I knew what happened when I danced too closed to a flame because I was enthralled, but. I wasn’t going to let that happen again.
As usual, Max and the boys took care of me while Sophie flitted about, hugging and air kissing the beautiful people. I had always wondered how she managed it—to be equal parts sincere, but fabulous.
Two sake shots, and one absinth drink later, I still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the birthday boy. Head buzzing and needing some air, I trudged up the dingy back stairs looking for the roof. Maybe it was for the best that I’d yet to see Alexi.
It didn’t matter what he did to my insides; he was first and foremost a guy, so I’d have to be careful. Secondly, he was out of my league, and finally, too much like Evan—too handsome, with access to money and power. I’d fallen for the smooth, good-guy image before. I wasn’t going to be fooled again. I couldn’t afford to be. I already had too many scars from my first encounter.
I shoved open the sticky rooftop door, and the chilled air immediately cleared my alcohol-fogged mind of any Evan thoughts. I wasn’t going to think about him or what I’d left behind. Or worse how I’d let myself be treated. And I was certainly not going to think about how I’d left it all behind. I was going to focus entirely on this life. This new experience. I would only be able to live in this dream world for so long, and I wanted to enjoy every single aspect of it. Even if it did feel like a fantasy.
The dingy stairs and heavy door were misleading. Instead of the industrial landscape I expected, the club’s roof was a lush green garden. A massive trellis obscured most of the view of London nightlife, save one exposed ledge with padded bench seating.
Sucking in the air like it was fresh water after a drought, I escaped to the bench and toppled onto it. I slipped off Sophie’s shoes and immediately started rubbing my feet, wondering what kind of hangover I'd have in the morning. Was there a rule against mixing sake and absinthe, like there was for beer and liquor? Hell, back home I barely even drank, save the occasional martini if I was out with Evan.
A couple of weeks with Tamsin, Sophie, and their rag-tag bunch of model boys, and I was buzzed on a rooftop in London. Maybe this was my Sex in the City moment. Though, I doubted Carrie, Miranda, or Samantha would have been up on a rooftop alone.
“So, first you crash my party, and then you crash my sanctuary. We have really got to stop meeting like this. It could be hazardous to your health.”
I whirled around to find Lex sitting in a hidden alcove about three feet from me. “In case you didn’t know, it's your birthday. I think you're supposed to be at the party.”
Alexi shrugged, and I was fascinated by what the action did to his shoulder muscles.
“Well, the most intriguing girl there barely made time to talk to me. She was occupied by the DJ and a stream of would-be suitors, so I came up here to lament.”
A flush crept up my neck. He’d been waiting to talk to me? “Sorry I haven’t wished you happy birthday properly yet. Sophie can be Sophie. Apparently, there were lots of people I just had to meet.”
“Yes, I saw.” He cocked his head. “You looked visibly uncomfortable.”
I snorted. “You caught that, did you?” I’d have to be careful with him. He was way too observant. “Not real big on hugging or air kissing.”
He scooted out of the alcove and sauntered over to join me on the bench. I caught a whiff of cologne as he sat. Something musky, but also crisp and intoxicating.
“So, tell me, how did you end up here? In my sanctuary.”
“Well, I didn’t see a sign, so sorry to crash your private party. And sorry to crash your actual party. I got enveloped in Sophie's plan, as usual. I heard you guys planning the other day, but had no idea it was your actual birthday until we got here.”
He shook his head. “I was teasing. Any friend of Sophie's…”
I hid a smile. You don’t even know this guy. Well not true exactly. I knew he had a penchant for rescues, and he had family problems.
And he makes your skin tingle when he touches you. Yeah well, I needed to go ahead and forget that one. And he makes you feel safe.
“Well, I had too much sake and chased it with absinthe, so I seriously needed some air.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, that’ll do it.”
“I'm waiting for the hallucinations to kick in any moment now. Will I really see a green fairy?”
He chuckled low, and I wanted nothing more than to melt into that sound.
“I think you're safe from little green fairies. The absinthe they serve these days is missing the wormwood, so you’re unlikely to hallucinate.”
“What? Then what was the point of all that? The sugar cube and the flame? I thought I was getting something really extraordinary.”
“Well, you got the experience at least, if not the buzz.”
I sighed and slouched. “Bummer. Not quite the London experience I was expecting.”
“Oh, come on, at least you came to a cool party.” He winked.
“Yes. There’s that.” My arm accidentally grazed his, and I sucked in a breath as I shifted away. “Not what I meant. I meant the first time doing something out of my norm. Stepping out of the box.”
“Ahh.” He nodded. “Seems I have a little adventurer on my hands.”
“Ha. I’m hardly an adventurer.” I shivered.
Lex shrugged out of his jacket and shifted toward me. Unsure of what he meant to do, I stiffened and leaned away from him an inch. His grey eyes met hers and his smile was soft. Careful not to move too quickly, he slid his jacket around my shoulders. The warmth of his heat cocooned me.
Relax, Abbie, go with the flow. For once, be brave. I closed my eyes, and without thinking, snuggled into his coat and leaned into him.
The moment my body made contact with his, we both stilled, and I didn’t dare breathe. When it finally came to a choice of inhale, or pass out, I dragged in air quickly.
The moment I tried to slide away, he scooted closer and threw an arm around me.
For three long seconds, I forgot how to speak. My brain, unable to command my body to move away, took stock of my emotions. Anxiety level—DEFCON One. Fear levels—low. Lust levels—skyrocketing.
Minus a deep breath of his own, Alexi seemed complete
ly unaffected by our close proximity. When he spoke again, his voice was mellow, modulated. “So, you don’t think you’re an adventurer? How did you end up in London, if not?”
If he could be cool, then so could I. “Would you believe it if I told you I ran away from home? Left my life and my apartment and my b—” I halted just short of saying boyfriend. I amended. “I left my family just to prove that I could do something extraordinary, be something extraordinary.”
And ditched my abusive ex.
He was silent for several beats, but I could tell his eyes were on my profile. My skin tingled under his scrutiny.
“That's brave as hell. You are an adventurer.”
“Well, the jury's still out. Everyone back home thinks I’m going to give up and go back, if they bug me long enough.”
“Well, how long has it been?”
I grinned and forced myself to meet his gaze. “A couple of weeks.”
***
Lex…
I held Abbie tighter as she shivered again.
What the hell was I doing? This was not part of the plan.
And there was something about the way she stiffened whenever anyone touched her. It screamed baggage.
But she was relaxed in my arms now. I should let her go. But I liked her. Really liked her.
All the more reason to let her go, mate.
Because there was something about her that read, damaged. Like me. Broken, like a bird.
I didn’t do damaged. Sure, you don’t. I was damaged enough for the two of us. I didn’t need to take on anyone else’s baggage.
At the same time, there was something so exposed and open about her. Something vulnerable but strong, unlike the girls I usually met. The over-processed, coy, game-playing girls who pretended they had no idea who I was or what I was about. But Abbie didn’t seem to know. She seemed real.
I wanted a slice of that reality. Wanted to touch it, if even for a minute. Hell, I was at my birthday party, and only a handful of those people would I call my friends. I would have preferred to be home with a pile of movies.
I smiled at her. “So, after a couple of weeks, what do you think of our little island?”
“Besides having fallen completely, unashamedly in love with the history, and the energy, and the diversity, and the atmosphere?” She shrugged, feigning indifference. “It’s okay. If you like that kind of thing. And school has been awesome so far.”
“School?” The hairs on my neck stood at attention. Relax. There are a hundred schools in London. She could be studying at any one of them.
What’s the best one for photography?
No. No way. This didn’t mean she was Xander’s student. I could have asked, but I didn’t want to get into it. Because what if the answer was yes. The flare of jealousy I wasn’t accustomed to. But I understood the pull my big brother had on women.
Would she be as susceptible as every other woman in London?
“Yeah. I ran away from home to do a Masters in Fine Art Photography. My parents are beside themselves. It's like I said, ‘Hey, Mom and Dad, I want to go be a drug dealer in London.’”
I laughed nervously. My brain kept trying to rationalize all the ways she couldn’t be Xander’s student. She could go to Camberwell or University of Arts. They were the most competitive with University of West London for fine arts degrees. All I had to do was ask.
Ask dumbass.
But I didn’t want that truth glaring at me. This was a complication that I didn’t need. So instead, I said, “I get the non-supportive parent thing.”
She shrugged. “Yeah. It’s no big deal. I don’t need their approval.”
But the way her shoulders slumped said she cared no matter what she spoke.
“So you're here to become the next Annie Lebowitz?”
She beamed at me. “You know Annie Lebowitz?”
I made a mock wounded face. “I know things. I’m not just a playboy who has fabulous parties, you know.”
“I stand corrected.”
Her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips, and all I could do was stare.
She gave me a nervous smile. “What are you staring at?”
I nodded absently. “You. Your mouth, specifically.”
She rolled her lips inward. “Uhm, why.”
Lit by the moonlight and the lanterns on the roof, she looked incandescent. And I knew I was going to do something stupid. “I'm trying to talk myself out of kissing you.”
Abbie shifted away an inch to look at me more fully. “You don’t want to kiss me?” Her voice was small when she asked.
It was all I wanted to do since I’d saved her from that mini cooper. The pull toward her was like the gravitational force of the sun. I could fight it all I wanted, but sooner or later, I’d be sucked into her orbit.
“Because I’m probably not the kind of guy you should get involved with.”
Her eyes rounded, and she mouthed, “Oh.”
I liked her. And not just because she was that broken-looking girl I'd rescued from a Mini Cooper. But because she was brave and adventurous but didn’t know it yet. “But I’ve been doing a pretty crappy job of staying away from you.”
Abbie licked her lips again and I bit back a groan.
“I-uh.” She started again. “Alexi, I—”
Alarm bells rang in my head. This was a bad idea. A very bad idea. Worst idea I’d ever had. Worse than even dancing with her and getting a vivid picture of how her body would slide against mine in bed. But I didn’t care. In the morning, I’d figure out a way to leave her alone. But right now, I just wanted to taste her. Just once taste. I could stop at one.
Reaching out a hand, I cupped her cheek. “I really am going to hell for this.”
I dipped my mouth to hers. As soon as our tongues met, electricity coursed through my body. I pulled back in an effort at self-preservation.
Her lashes fluttered open, and she blinked up at me.
I reminded myself of the million reasons why I shouldn’t do this. With everything else going on in my life, I didn’t need complications. But Abbie briefly placed her fingertips against her mouth, and I forgot about what the prudent thing to do would be. Instead, I dragged her forward and kissed her again. On a shocked breath, she opened for me again. I angled my head to deepen the kiss, and all thoughts of good sense evaporated.
This is stupid.
Stop.
Do you really think you can touch her once and stop?
Barely aware of what I was doing, I cupped her face and rubbed a thumb over her cheek. Unable to stop kissing her, I delved my tongue inside, tasting her. Her unique flavor weaving an intoxicating web around me, trapping me like any beautiful predator.
When I touched my tongue to hers, she stilled and backed away, flattening a hand against my chest.
My heart thudded so fast, I worried I'd have a heart attack. Pain radiated center mass as I waited for her response. Her fingers clenched in the lapels of my shirt, but she still held herself back from me. Shit. I'd taken it too far. I’d wanted a taste and I’d taken more than she was prepared to give. “Abbie, I'm sorry. I got—”
She cut me off by tugging me to her and fusing our lips together.
Holy. Shite.
I didn’t need further invitation and dragged her onto my lap so she straddled me, her dress shifting up to expose her thighs.
My brain managed a few strangled messages like: You're literally making out with this girl in public. What if a photographer catches you? But the rational messages were drowned out by the pounding need coursing through my veins.
Abbie dipped her tongue into my mouth, and my brain stopped functioning. Sliding my tongue over hers, I tried to decipher every flavor. Mostly, she tasted like something sweet, strawberries—maybe her lip-gloss, maybe the strawberry infused sake?
I sucked on her tongue, and she gasped into my mouth. When I did it again, she responded in kind by doing the same to me. The electric
current flowing through my body sent a jolt of electricity straight to my dick.
Holding her tighter, my fingers skimmed her waist and slipped under my jacket to play with the skin on her bare back. She gently rose on her knees, then resettled on my lap, bringing her molten heat more solidly against me. She repeated the action over and over again, and anything rational flew out of my head. I clamped both hands on her hips and rocked mine in a steady rhythm. The more she rode me, the more I groaned.
Alarms rang in my skull. But I couldn’t stop. She tasted like heaven. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be reaching up under her dress to see just how wet she was. If I wanted to go extra dumb, I’d end up shagging her right here on the roof.
But rational thinking was not my current strong suit. I had one directive, her slippery wet flesh sliding, soaking, or clamping around me post haste. Hands full of the flesh of her arse, I considered sliding one hand to the promised land, shoving aside whatever flimsy piece of string she was calling panties and sink deep. I would feel better if I made her explode around my cock.
Are you sure about that?
Well, it was a hell of a start the way I saw it.
She was the one who tore her lips away. “What the hell are we doing?”
My lips were slow to get the memo. When I couldn’t chase her lips, I settled for that soft patch of skin just under her ear. My brain struggled for purchase as Abbie’s question filtered into my consciousness. What was I supposed to say? If I said the wrong thing, she’d scramble back downstairs. “I haven’t a clue,” I muttered between kisses. “But it feels fucking incredible.”
I gave her another slow drugging kiss that made me dizzy. Hell, I knew nothing about this girl except in this moment I could go on kissing her, forever.
She moved against me fluidly, and through our clothes, my cock sought out her moist heat. All I could think about was getting her closer and closer and burying myself so deep inside her that I wouldn’t remember my own name.
Fuck, the way she moved.
She trembled in my arms as I slid a hand between us, skimmed over her ribcage, pausing only as my thumb grazed the underside of her breast. My erection pulsed painfully against the fly of my jeans.
