by Nana Malone
His brows drew down as he studied me. “Listen, about last night.”
Heat flooded My face as I peered up at him sheepishly. “Uhm, yeah. Look it’s no big deal. We got a little carried away.”
Lex frowned and pressed his lips together. “I'm sorry I didn’t get to talk to you again. It was a little crazy once we got back down.”
How was I supposed to play this? Why wasn’t there a book for these kinds of awkward conversations? Boy says, “About last night…” You say…
And then have it filled in with the appropriate nonchalant, yet witty response.
I sighed. “Well, it was your birthday party. Lots of well-wishers.” I sniffed. “It's no big deal.”
His scowl deepened and he shifted from foot to foot. “I had the impression that...”
I tipped my chin up. “I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to say.”
“I just wanted you to know—”
“Alexi, look. I’m not good at this. It's not like me at all to make out with a guy that I've only met a few times. It really is against type. But you said it yourself. We’re never going to kiss again.” Shit, what the hell was wrong with me? Why did I keep opening my mouth and letting words spill free. Shut up. Shut up now!
“Abbie, I—” He shut his mouth and started again. “You're different. I—last night was intense.” He sighed then scrubbed both hands over his face. “In all honesty, you freak me out a little. I spent most of this morning trying to figure out how to get your number. Then changing my mind as I reminded myself I needed to stay away from you.”
“What did you decide?”
He laughed ruefully. “Well seeing as kismet has other plans, I’m thinking we should be friends.”
Friends? “Friends. I can do that.” Except after that kiss, I didn’t exactly want to be friends.
“And maybe we’ll give kismet a break, and I’ll actually figure out a way to get your number.” He smiled that lopsided grin of his, and I tried to remember what he’d said about being friends.
“Uhm, you're friends with Sophie, right? I promise you she has my number.”
He smiled sheepishly. “Yes, well. I also wanted to be a little discreet. I wasn't sure how much you'd told her.”
Well, he had a point there. I didn’t exactly want to broadcast their kiss from the speakers. “Well, then how fortuitous that you ran into me today. In a city of millions of people.”
His grin was quick. “So are you going to let me tag along?”
***
Abbie bit her bottom lip then blinked up at Alexi. “Why?”
I silently prayed she’d ask me something uncomplicated. “Why what?”
“Why do you want to join me? This will probably be boring for you.”
“Not at all. I’m fascinated by what you see with your camera. Trailing after Xander has taught me to appreciate a photographer’s viewpoint. It’s interesting.” I shoved my hands into my pockets and rocked back on my heels. “And, believe it or not, I like you.”
“Well I am pretty fun, what with my adventurous streak and all.”
I laughed and the sound warmed her from the inside.
“I should probably stay very far away from you, as just being near you makes me think about how you taste, but,” I licked my bottom lip. “I like you.”
Yeah, wow. Being friends with me was going to be complicated. Especially if I kept saying things like that to her. A light flush stained her cheeks. “I'm honestly almost done. I just want some shots of Brixton Gold then I'm going to head out.”
I grinned. “How would you like an insider's tour?”
“I wasn't aware they gave tours.”
“Well, not for the public, but I have an inside source that can get you in, if you're interested.”
Her dark eyes rounded. “If you can get me in, I'd love to see it and take a couple of shots.”
Thirty minutes later, she was beaming as they left the studio. “Holy cow, I can’t believe I got to sit in there and listen to some of the old tracks and sit in with actual music producers. I mean, how cool is that?”
I couldn’t help but grin. She looked so happy. The tiny voice in the back of my mind reminded me of Gemma and our arrangement. I owed it to Gemma to not get caught up in this girl. If I did, everything they'd worked together on would be shattered.
When they got to the tube station, She turned to me and grinned. “Thank you so much. I could never have had that kind of access if it weren’t for you. I mean this assignment is pretty crucial, and I think I've blown it out of the water, thanks to you.” She ducked her head and fiddled with her camera in a gesture I'd now started to recognize as nerves. Over what? Over me? Could she sense what I was thinking about?
“You're welcome. It was well worth owing Charlie to see that smile on your face.”
She shook her head. “Why are you bending over backward to help me?”
“Because in a different life, you would be someone I would want to get to know better.”
She nodded as if understanding. “Same here.”
I rocked back on my heels. “So what now?”
She shrugged. “Friends, I guess. Like you said. We’ll forget last night happened.”
As if I could. “Right. Forgotten. So as your friend, I’m going to need your number. I’m also going to send you details of a photography opportunity if you want it. It should be a nice party at a friend’s country estate. You should be able to get some good photos.” I shrugged. I was hoping to project confidence, but my heart thundered.
“Thank you. But you don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Besides, it makes it easier to stalk you if I tell you where to go.”
She snagged my phone out of my palm and put her number in. When she handed my phone back to me, our fingers brushed. Slowly I tugged her into a hug. A friendly parting hug. Except, after she initially stilled, she sort of melted into me, giving herself over to my care for the next several seconds. And as I locked my arms around her, I knew there was no way I could stay just friends with Her. She drew back, and I held my breath as she blinked up at me.
Don’t do it, mate. Your life is way too complicated.
But I never was very good at following the rules. Instead of letting her go, I muttered, “Sod it.” I drew her back into my arms and slid my lips over hers. She gasped softly before she moaned into my mouth. When my tongue slid in to tease hers, she wound her hands into my hair, giving herself over to the kiss.
Fire flooded my veins, overheating my synapses. There was something I was supposed to be doing. Something I had to remember, but all I could focus on was Abbie, her lips, her smell, her taste.
I deepened the kiss, demanding a response rather than coaxing one. My head spun as jolts and sparks of electricity lit my skin on fire from the inside out. My fingers tucked under her T-shirt and played with the skin at her lower back, just as I had while they danced last night.
She swayed into me, pressing her body against my from breast to hip. I groaned again as my body went rigid as stone. I released her abruptly. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
Hazy, unfocused eyes fluttered open and blinked up at me. “Wh-what’s the matter?” She blinked rapidly as the lights flickered back on.
“You mean besides being so turned on I was giving serious consideration to pinning you up against the wall of the corner shop and finding out how sweet you tasted everywhere? Nothing.” I raked both hands through my hair.
She dragged in several deep breaths, and I fixated on her lips. What the hell was my problem? I’d kissed lots of women. But kissing Abbie was like kissing a live wire. I wanted more of it. To grab hold and never let go. But I waited a beat too long.
She took a step back as she adjusted the strap of her camera again, bringing it back in front of her like a shield. “I guess I’d better go.”
I had no choice but to watch as she descended the stairs of the tube. Well, I’d screwed that one up. I shou
ld have just left her alone. I should have given her the tour, then put her in a taxi. I should have left things as just friends with them. Should should should.
Instead, I’d kissed her—again. And not in that sweet way that said ‘I think I could care about you.’ But in that desperate way that said, ‘I won’t be able to think about anything else until I’m with you.’ Trouble had just landed on my doorstep.
Chapter 16
Abbie…
After another sleepless night filled with dreams of Alexi, I strolled into the living room to find Tamsin surrounded by stacks of books. “What’s all this?”
Tamsin looked up absently from the piles before turning her attention back to a hardback with a bare male ass on the cover. “New client. An author. I have to plan their PR package. Boss man has me getting familiar with her work before I start working on it.”
“Let me guess, your boss is going to take credit for all this work too?”
“Probably.” Tamsin sighed. “So, Mr. Lover Lover has been calling the house line, looking for you nonstop. What do you want me to tell him?”
To fuck off maybe?
I groaned as I slung my camera bag over my shoulder. Sooner or later, Tamsin would ask why I wouldn’t at least talk to Evan. And then what the hell would I say? “Shit, I'm sorry, Tams. I hate to put you in this position, but I'm just not ready to talk to him yet. Mom must have given him your number. I know I have to deal with him eventually. But my brain just gets clouded.”
Tamsin nodded. “I completely understand. I was mostly just telling you to find out if we can turn the ringer off permanently, or if there is someone you anticipate calling the house phone.”
I blinked. “You'd do that for me?”
“What are friends for? Besides, no one ever uses the land line. Most everyone calls my mobile, unless it's the council tax people or something. We don’t need it.”
“I appreciate it. I'll deal with him eventually, just not quite yet.”
Tamsin eyed My bag. “You headed to campus?”
“Yeah. I'm just going to grab the bus. I want to use their fancy computers for my photo manipulation and printing on large canvases. I think they'll give the images I took on Saturday more pop, if I go large scale.”
“Well, from what I saw, they were fantastic. I mean, how did you ever get into Brixton Gold? That place is legendary. You must have some serious blagging skills like Sophie to simply talk yourself in there.”
“Erm,” I hedged, “I probably just got lucky. I need to drop off some job applications too.” It felt like I’d applied for every possible job. My bad luck for arriving late. Fucking Evan.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I snuck a look at the incoming text message. A UK number I didn’t recognize. It could only be Lex. The muscles in my belly fluttered. Calm yourself. He probably is only calling to remind you that he is emotionally unavailable.
Meet me a block north from your flat.
How the hell did he know where I lived? Muttering a quick goodbye to Tamsin, I took the stairs two at a time, nearly falling out of the front door. More sedately, I headed down Grove Park Gardens, barely even noticing the lush greenery and stately mansions. I didn’t want him thinking I'd run to meet him.
My good judgment meter was clearly on the fritz. Everything about this guy said emotionally unavailable, and I’d just come off a relationship with someone who didn’t know the meaning of love. I needed another guy like I needed another hole in my head. Rather, I needed another handsome, wealthy guy like I needed a lobotomy. But still, my breathing grew shallow at the thought of seeing him again.
But logic wasn’t on my side. I knew how I felt when I was near Lex. Safe, but also edgy and tingly. I rounded the corner toward the row houses that hugged the Thames and slowed when I noticed a shiny black BMW sports car idling on the side of the road. When I got within ten feet, Lex climbed out, grin flashing.
“I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t come out to meet me.”
“Well, I didn’t really have a choice. This is my way to school.”
“Oh, is it now? Fancy that.”
I raised an eyebrow. “How did you know where I live?”
“Easy. I asked Jasper where Tamsin lived. Told him a friend of mine was asking about her.”
I wrinkled my nose. Now, thanks to the grapevine of our group of friends, Tamsin would think some guy was crushing on her. “What happens when Tams finds out there is no guy?”
“Who said there's no guy? My friend Nick was quite taken with her, as he is with many women. He just didn’t ask where I lived, so I did it for him. If it happened to get me access to you too, then anything in service of a friend.” His smile was infectious, crooked and so sexy. “Why don’t you hop in? I'll give you a ride.”
I eyed the sleek, black sports car. I didn’t know a ton about cars, but I knew a BMW was all kinds of expensive. Lex leaned against the car, confidence oozing off of him. He fit. The car, the setting, he belonged to a world I didn’t understand. Everything about him oozed privilege. I shouldn’t want him, but my body hummed with anticipation when I thought about his kisses. I cleared my throat. “I don't want you to go out of your way. School is in Ealing. I'll catch the bus.”
He scrunched his face. “Come on, Abbie. Why ride with a bunch of tosser rude boys heading back to their counsel flats when you can ride in style? I promise I won’t bite. Besides, we're friends, right? Get in.”
I wavered for another second, but eventually folded myself into the sleek leather of the passenger seat. I was careful not to touch anything. “Uhm, thanks. It's University of West London in Ealing, right next to the high street.”
He chuckled. “I know where it is, remember?”
“Right. I keep forgetting Xander’s your brother. I appreciate the ride. So what did you want to see me about?”
He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat as he pulled into the road. “Well, mostly I wanted to see you. You know, see how your photos came out.”
I breathed deeply then exhaled, unsure what to say or how to deal with him, so I said nothing.
“Okay, bullshit. I just wanted to see you. When you left yesterday, I got the impression I’d freaked you out…again. I wanted to make sure you—we—were okay.”
My throat strangled my last intake of air, refusing to let it be expelled. Slowly, I forced my muscles to relax. “Honestly, I’m fine. I guess. Confused, frustrated. Did I mention confused? Every time we touch, it just seems to get pretty intense, you know? Then you turn around and tell me you don’t want to be with me. Then you kiss me again. I haven’t got a clue if we’re okay or not.”
He exhaled, and the tense silence stretched between us like sticky taffy for several minutes. “Shouldn’t. That I shouldn’t be with you, not that I don’t want to be with you. Obviously, I’m doing a shit poor job of staying away. I swear to God, I’m not trying to confuse you.” He laughed. “Hell, I’m confused myself. I know what I should do. Unfortunately, it’s very different than what I want to do.” He shook his head and changed the subject abruptly. “Why don’t you tell me about the pictures you took.”
Unsure of what to say, I told him what he wanted to hear. “The photos came out great, actually. I'm headed to campus to do some light touching up with Photoshop and grab some large prints.”
Lex zoomed up to the stoplight on the Key Bridge, and I learned very quickly not to watch the road if they were moving. He drove like a maniac. If I had a car like this, I’d never drive it. And if I dared it would be at a snail’s pace.
“You know, your eyes light up when you talk about your work.”
His intense focus on me made me want to squirm. No one had ever looked at me like that, like he really saw me, like he was dissecting my soul. Back to awkward and uncomfortable. “You have a way of making me edgy.”
His voice pitched lower, and he started the car forward again. “Edgy bad or edgy good?”
“Honestly? I’m
not sure. I don’t really know what to do with you.”
He grinned. “So you know, the feeling’s mutual.”
The hell it was. There was no way I made him edgy. “Yeah, right, says the guy who probably has women dropping at his feet all the time.”
“You’d be surprised. I don’t date much.”
Now that was curious. “Why not? You’re certainly good-looking enough. Smart, engaging. What deep dark secret are you hiding?”
I might have imagined the shadow that crossed his face, it was so brief. But the tension surrounding us thickened.
“It’s complicated, but I guess no one’s ever made me want to share my secrets.” He frowned. “On Friday, you were talking about things you'd left behind. I'm curious. Did that include a boyfriend?”
Heat suffused my face. I wanted to open the window for some air but couldn’t figure out which of the tiny buttons it was. “It's complicated.”
“Ah, I see. A little tit for tat.”
I rushed to explain. “No. No, it's not like that. I just— It was sort of messy. Basically he kept my dream from me. I’d spent the last five years with someone who made me feel like I wasn't good enough.” Not to mention abusive asshole.
His voice was calm, modulated, and he stared directly ahead. “Five years is a long time. A lot to let go of.”
I winced as the memories swirled on the edges of my consciousness. “Tell me about it.” I didn’t want to go into it, but wanted to talk to someone. I was exhausted from holding it all in, so I told him what I could. “Turned out I had him pegged all wrong. Once I figured out my mistake, I sent him packing.”
“So when did he figure out that you weren’t going to take him back?”
“Probably when I changed the locks. I left a note letting him know he couldn’t get back into our place.”
Lex coughed. “Oh, shit. What did the note say?”
A smile pulled at the corners of my lips. “You have a week to move out. Call my sister for a key.”
“That's it?”
I shrugged. “Yep. He knew I was excited about the program. He hid my acceptance letter.” I used the back of my knuckles to rub at my jaw. “I hate liars.”
