by Sarah Noffke
Sunshine prepared herself for the cacophony of feelings that would assault her when the act ended. She pulled her eyes to Finley, who had just caught Zuma in his arms, completing the last trick of their act. The audience seemed to suck in a collective breath all at once. Finley slid his leg around Zuma’s leg, encouraging her back as he had done during every practice. She arched her spine as he dipped her down low. The pair slid together, Finley in a deep lunge, Zuma’s arms tied around his neck.
They held the pose for a three count as Titus had asked. Three seconds where Finley allowed the adrenaline of finishing his first show to rocket through his veins. Three long seconds where the applause he’d earned during the show reverberated in his chest. Three seconds where he stared down at Zuma and realized she made him feel more emotion than the adrenaline and the applause combined. She owned him. And automatically he wrenched her to him and covered her mouth with his. She sensed the kiss coming but didn’t know how to react with over a thousand eyes watching her, so she just gasped against his lips, sucking him in.
Zuma tightened her arms around his neck, assaulted by the tremor that ran down her body. All this happened inside of a few seconds and then Finley pulled away, drawing Zuma to a standing position. Their hands were clasped in each other’s as they bowed low to the loudest and longest applause the Vagabond Circus had ever earned. Then they turned in unison, hands still connected, and took another bow to the other side of the ring. Kids jumped up and down. Women pushed glistening tears from their cheeks. Zuma scanned the crowd, taking in the faces of every patron, all smiling, cheering, and overflowing with excitement. The lights faded on them and Finley dropped her hand as they ran in complete darkness to the back curtain. When they were through it the houselights dawned on a crowd who would never forget the show they just watched.
Chapter Forty-Three
Finley wasn’t even completely on the other side of the curtain before Zuma twisted around and shoved him in the chest, knocking him lightly into the blue velvet behind him.
“What in the hell was that?” she said and her voice wasn’t as angry as she tried to make it. She sounded curious. Zuma wanted to feel violated, but she couldn’t make herself. That kiss had a pureness to it.
He stared down at her, his mouth pinched together, a weight in his eyes. He was battling something inside himself that didn’t exist in most. A torture of overpowering emotions.
“Well?” she said when he didn’t respond, didn’t look like he could. Finley’s eyes just stayed tight on her, which was why he didn’t see the blur of movements that Zuma saw. From the side, Jack bolted through the space and raised his hand and punched Finley across the face. Finley should have moved fast enough to deflect it, but his focus was overwhelmed by the angry expression on Zuma’s face. She appeared to be mad at him; however, she had kissed him back, cinched her arms around his neck and pulled him into her. Breathed him in. He didn’t understand. He also didn’t know why he did it in the first place. Everything was unexplainable when it came to Zuma.
Finley hardly stumbled back from Jack’s punch, although it had incredible force behind it. Finley was used to being punched. Assaulted. He knew how to take it with little effect.
Frantically Zuma grabbed one of Jack’s arms and pulled him away. Jack stared at Finley with a look of complete disdain. Another abuse Finley was used to.
“Where do you get off doing something like that? You know Zuma can’t stand you. Why would you take advantage of her in front of the audience?” Jack said, his voice a hush but his words hot.
Finley hardly heard all that Jack said. His eyes were on Zuma, who had her hands wrapped around Jack’s arm still, encouraging him to calm down.
“That’s not true. You don’t despise me,” Finley said to Zuma.
She dropped her gaze, unable to stomach the brutal pain in Finley’s eyes. Still, she felt echoes of the tremor his kiss caused deep inside her. Never before had an experience produced that reaction. Not even the flying trapeze, which gave her a high like no other.
“Jack,” Dave said from behind him, a caution in his voice. “Why don’t you leave the big top and cool down.”
Jack turned, Zuma letting his arm drop. There behind them stood Dave, who was only a few inches taller than Zuma. He wasn’t wearing his normal jovial smile but rather under his frayed top hat he had a serious expression. It looked all wrong on his face, like a dog with cat ears.
“But—” Jack said.
“I understand you’re angry, but we do not conduct ourselves in that way,” Dave said and even Zuma flinched from the sternness in his voice. There had to be nothing worse than to earn the ringmaster’s disapproval, she thought. And for Jack, this would be a curse. “Go to your trailer and I don’t want you at tonight’s festivities. We will discuss this in Portland, you and me,” Dave said, his voice full of authority.
“Dave, you can’t let this go—” Jack began.
“And Jack, I don’t intend to. But this is my circus, and my issue to handle. This matter concerns you no longer, is that clear?”
Jack closed his eyes and nodded.
“Now please leave me to discuss this matter,” Dave said, his voice lightening an octave. “Zuma, you are free to go as well.”
Jack turned and walked a few paces, but he paused as soon as he realized Zuma wasn’t by his side. She was standing still. She hadn’t gone with him. He gave her a confused look.
Zuma turned her gaze to Dave. “I’m staying.”
Dave nodded his consent. “Very well.” He swiveled his head to Jack, who was watching dumbfounded. “Go on now. Go cool off,” Dave said, his voice calm but insistent.
Jack’s last look was at Zuma, who was staring at him with consoling eyes. Then he whipped around and stormed off. And this time he wouldn’t argue with Zuma if she called it “storming off.”
Jack was furious. Everything during the first new show had gone perfectly and it put an unbearable weight on his chest. To watch the crowd respond to Finley the way they did, with more surprise and amazement than he ever received, was a knife right under his breast bone. It created a searing pain and he pressed his hand there, rubbing on the ache. And now Finley had kissed Zuma, in front of the circus and its patrons. Finley knew what her lips felt like. Knew what she tasted like. Two things Jack had wanted to know since he set his eyes on her over three years ago. What burned Jack up wasn’t that Finley was taking what had belonged to him. Finley was taking that which Jack never had and always wanted.
Chapter Forty-Four
“The rules were made clear to you when you came to Vagabond Circus,” Dave said to Finley, his voice firm.
Behind him Titus was clearing the back area of performers, encouraging them to change and toddle off to the after-party. He was grateful that Dave was intervening and not him. How uncomfortable this tense situation must be for someone to deal with. People kissing. People hitting each other. Relationships. Titus shivered with unease. “No thanks,” he said under his breath. The memories of the relationships that tore the circus apart almost twenty years ago were still fresh in his mind. Nothing was a bigger motivator than love. It made people happy. It made them depressed. It made people challenge themselves. It made them different people. It made them kill. There’s a reason domestic violence is the most frequent, Titus thought. Love makes people insane.
In the main big top area patrons were filing out of the exit. Excited voices discussed the various acts, Zuma and Finley the topic of most people’s conversations. They were undoubtedly the favorite act. Girls twirled as they exited, pretending to be jumping into the arms of a waiting Finley.
“Mom, can I put a pink streak in my hair?” a girl asked, skipping beside her mother.
Another child heard the request and soon every little girl was asking for a new hairdo. Someone would have made a fortune selling pink hair dye by the gates of Vagabond Circus.
“You made the rules implicitly clear,” Finley finally said to Dave’s question.
�
�And is it also clear to you that when I said no relationships among circus members that that meant no necking?” Dave said, holding his gloved hands out, exasperated.
Zuma’s stomach turned over from the use of the word “necking.” Is there a worse word, she thought with a grimace. There definitely wasn’t a more humiliating way to describe a simple kiss.
“Yes, I’m aware that’s implied,” Finley said, his chin held high, eyes mostly on Dave, although he caught Zuma’s look of revulsion.
Dave dropped his hands to his side and they clapped on his legs. “I’m a bit overwhelmed by this one, Finley. You’ve broken both my rules in one setting and I don’t really know how to handle it. This was our best show ever and you’re mostly responsible for that, but that doesn’t mean I can excuse such behavior.”
“Sir,” Finley said, his eyes confused. “How did I break both rules by what I did?”
“Well, it was hugely disrespectful to force yourself onto Zuma,” Dave said, matter-of-factly. “And then there’s Jack’s feelings to consider, which I’m certain you did not do.”
“Wait, I didn’t force myself on Zuma,” Finley said. “She didn’t push me away.”
At this Zuma buried her head in her hands. Now she doubted her reasons for staying. Why had she stayed? Didn’t she know this would be a humiliating conversation to be a part of with Dave present and leading the questioning?
However, when she looked up the ringmaster had turned to her, a fond glint twinkling his light blue eyes. “Well, of course not, that would have ruined the show. My Zuma is a brilliant actress.” And then he gave her a wink. “Nice cover-up, Zuma. It almost seemed planned. You incorporated the surprise kiss seamlessly.”
She gulped. Nodded. Tried to keep an unsurprised look on her face.
“Right.” Finley bit on the word watching Zuma, whose passive stance was actually quite commendable to him, if it hadn’t also been infuriating. “And Jack? How was I disrespecting him?” Finley asked.
“Well, my boy, Jack, is obviously very protective of Zuma, as you would be too if you two grew up together. They have a special bond. That was a very disrespectful thing to do to a girl he loves.”
“Wait! What!?” It was Zuma who voiced the question.
Dave looked at her and said, “Zuma, I did ask you to leave. I thought it might be easier if Finley and I discussed the relationships at Vagabond Circus in private, but you made the decision to stay and I respected it. And you must know I’m aware of Jack’s feelings for you.”
“Dave, there’s nothing going—”
Dave stopped Zuma’s speech by holding up a single white-gloved hand. Dr. Raydon was an intelligent man. He knew people were hardwired to mate. He didn’t have any disillusions about this. Most were like Jasmine and stayed at the circus until the urge to have a relationship was too much and then left him. During their time with him he fed them with nutritious food and intoxicating memories. In return, he asked that the staff not have romantic relationships amongst each other during their time at Vagabond Circus. But he saw the way Jack looked after Zuma and knew he had feelings for her. What Jack didn’t realize was that everyone had feelings for Zuma. She captured the attention of anyone whose eyes tripped over her. If Jack realized this then he’d know that Zuma’s true love was the person who did to her what she did to everyone else, steal their focus.
Dave knew this, and knew how it would affect Zuma one day. Not yet, but one day. If what he learned from having a reading with Ian was going to come to pass then Jack would figure out one day soon that Zuma wasn’t his true love. It would be both a disappointment and a relief for him. And if the crew member with the braces could be believed then Jack would figure this out very soon.
Dave also knew that he never had to worry about Jack because he observed rule number one as did Zuma. And both acrobats respected the ringmaster enough not to have a relationship behind his back. And although Finley wasn’t as endeared to Dave yet, he still trusted the boy.
Dave finally turned to Zuma. “Jack does love you,” he said, a consternation on his face. And then he added, “Zuma, most everyone at Vagabond Circus loves you in their own way. Jack may have a bit more of a connection than the rest though,” he said, his face light again. Zuma was glad since she didn’t like that serious expression Dave had worn before. “Anyway, I only mean that Jack loves you dearly, as a friend. And what Finley did made Jack feel you were threatened, so of course he would try to protect you. Although I think he was too aggressive in his approach.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Zuma said, sensing the shield in Dave’s head. She didn’t even bump against it once she knew it was in place. He was trying to keep her out and she wouldn’t fight it.
“Don’t look so heavy, Zuma,” Dave said, reaching out and cupping her shoulder. “I know it’s a platonic love. Jack needs you as a friend. I don’t worry about you two betraying me.”
The ringmaster then turned to Finley. “But honestly, I have to admit that although I know little of you, my instinct tells me you’re good. But do please tell me why you kissed Zuma at the end of the show.”
“Well…” Finley said, his eyes falling on Zuma before he forced himself to rip them away. “It was a sudden decision. I was swept away by the energy of the audience and truthfully I thought that it’s what they wanted. It is a love story and I felt they wanted a tender and touching ending. So I just improvised.”
Dave looked at Finley and then at Zuma, who had a flat expression. If Dr. Raydon was Zuma and could read the tiny expressions in people, he’d know Finley was lying. But Dave was a trusting man. “Fine, fine. First show. I get making such a decision,” Dave said, his cheeks tightening like he was on the verge of smiling. He seemed to always be on the verge of a smile or ending one. “You’ll get used to the audience and realize they don’t get what they want, but rather what we’ve rehearsed.” The ringmaster then stepped forward, leaving Zuma a foot behind him. “People make mistakes. I understand that. But don’t ever consider forcing yourself on Zuma while in my circus. I’m not a man prone to anger but next time I won’t let this go unpunished. Next time you won’t be a member of Vagabond Circus for such mistakes. Is that clear?”
Finley nodded, forcing himself to meet Dave’s eyes.
Dave then clapped Finley on the shoulder, loosening him up with his infectious good nature. “And may I be the first to tell you that you and Zuma just put on the best show I’ve ever seen. You two were unmistakably the stars.” Dave could shift suddenly and Finley had just witnessed his high after a low.
He choked out a forced laugh. “Thank you.”
Dave turned and then offered an arm to Zuma. “My lady, you were more spectacular than I ever dreamed.”
Zuma knew Dave didn’t dream. For some reason unknown to her, he didn’t allow himself to have dreams directed by his unconscious. Still she nodded, accepting the compliment. “It’s all thanks to your support, Dave,” she said.
“Would you accompany me to the festivities?”
She nodded obediently and took his arm. They walked to where the cast and crew were already starting the bonfire, Finley a few feet behind them.
Chapter Forty-Five
Drinking wasn’t against the rules, but it was frowned upon at Vagabond Circus and things that were frowned upon were as good as rules. Still, it would have appeared to an outsider that the employees of Vagabond Circus were drunk based on their infectious laughter and chatty voices. There were no borders in the crowd at that night’s after-party. Everyone was congratulating each other on putting together such a challenging new show in such a short period of time. And a breathtaking one at that. Each person took turns telling one of their favorite parts. And for most the ultimate favorite part was the ending, where the two lovers, torn by circumstances, celebrated their love with a kiss.
Everywhere Zuma turned someone was waiting to talk to her. The guys from the crew lined up, ready to greet her by laying a kiss on the back of her hand. She scanned their thoughts and knew this
at once. And then a quick scan of the people’s minds at the party told her she was the center of most people’s thoughts. Well, not Finley’s. As always, she didn’t know what he was thinking, although from the way he kept directing his attention at her, she suspected she was also on his mind.
Even the freak performers had split up for that night’s celebration and were commingling with crew members. Padmal was quietly picking Fanny’s brain about alchemy, a side hobby of the nurse and caregiver. Oliver was having Ian read his fortune, and looked quite grave about the news. And Haady, one of the triplets, was giving Bill, the circus chef, tips of things he’d like added to the menu. Sunshine was sulking alone, but not all things can change at once.
Zuma couldn’t bear the company of her circus family for very long. She’d had enough attention for one night. As the festivities went on she knew the obligation to speak to everyone who wanted her attention would be too much to resist. Passing the line of patiently waiting crew members she gave a quick wave. “I’d love to chat, but I’ve got to pack for our trip to Portland tomorrow,” she said in a rush.
One guy reached out for her hand as she cruised by, but sensing this before he did it, she sped up and hurried away. She then ran to get as far from the people she loved like a family, and who were also her biggest fans.
